Lord of the universe, slayer of a thousand gods, ruler of a billion worlds, the man or had it all sat upon a throne of diamonds. At that very moment, he declared, with a loud voice,

"FUCK THIS, I'MMA SHOVEL SHIT FOR A LIVING!"

And thus, he summoned a truck above his head and commited ritual suicide in the manner of his father, and his father before him. How did getting crushed by a truck become a family tradition...?

Why, because this owner of a bajillion peacocks had obviously killed off all his siblings with his unique magic: Truckmancy. The most powerful magic system ever created, it had the power to do pretty much anything at exactly the correct time. How did it do this...?

Why, magic of course! (Shh, if you poke holes in it this early, there're bound to be babies, and nobody wants that.)

As the destroyer of a ridiculous number of TVs entered the cycle of reincarnation, because honestly, even goddamn butterflys get reincarnated, so of course the goddamn lord of the universe will, that is, get into the goddamn reincarnation cycle.

Goddammit.

Feels a bit like getting flushed down the toilet...

---

dodododDODODODODO!

"Hello master. Have you awoken?"

Awake, (Obviously, you little piece of-) this primidonna of godly nature rose and stood within the majestic hall of majesticicity. Which is a word. That I made up just now. Which is still a word.

Looking towards this small, pink, tiny, puny, cute, glowy girl, standing at six inches tall, slender and with wings on her back, a soft face that gave the impression of a woman between her 16-18s, that grey area that is responsible for 60% of incarcerations due to underage fucking-uh, sex, you know, jailbait, not that you'd be able to fit an erect penis into the vagina belonging to someone 6 inches tall, so in fact she wouldn't be catagorized as jailbait, since she really isn't tempting anyone, being too small to fuck. Not that it would be alright if she was full-size.

"...are you going to answer my question, Master?"

"Gimme a sec, the author is eating a poptart, and doesn't want to get the keyboard sticky."

"..."

"..."

"Is he done?"

"Not yet, he made two, so it'll be awhile."

"..."

"..."

"How about now?"

"Well, the, keyboard is already sticky, a little more probably won't make a difference. I can now respond to your question, and wtih a question of my own."

"Please, ask away."

"Yeah, of course I'm awake, ya dumb bish. Why the fuck is a tiny little girl of the approximate age to charm men into prison currently six inches tall and flying?"

Flitting from side to side, "I'm your servant fairy, Master! I was granted to your reincarnated form in order to compensate for the massive loss in power you experienced in death! Ehe~"

"Then, what can you do?"

"Why, show you your status, of course! "

Status Name: Undecided Titles: None

Strength: 6

Wisdom:5

Agility:6

Constitution:2

Intelligence:-9999999999-Err0r-

Dexterity: Fumbling Dumbass

Mind: Gutter

Aptitude: -Laughing Noises-

Charisma: ...

Perception: Blind, dumb, deaf, and dumb

Luck: I believe in karma

Skills: -Laughing noises-

Racial traits: Being a bitch

Social standing: You know that gum that gets stuck to your shoe? Yeah, now imagine that gum becomes the king of the universe, with trillions of nobles. As the ranks get lower, the numbers get exponentially larger, until the slaves serving the slightly higher class slaves that in turn serve the actual slaves, is number that approaches googleplex, which in turn all have a collective bitch.

You are that bitch, to the slaves of the slaves of the slaves of the serfs of the serfs of the..............of the God-emperors that serve that piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Bacteria has more weght in their opinion than you do, though at least you share a trait with bacteria, which is not having a brain.

Purpose in life: -Err0r, missing-

"I get the subtle feeling I'm being insulted."

"What gave you that impression?"

"In perception, it says dumb twice."

"OOOOOH! I didn't think you'd notice that, what with your intelligence causing an error in the system! Here, the reward for acomplishing a feat of wisdom unthinkable of you is this: +1 Wisdom! Congratulations, you're now a whole 2 thirds as smart as an average person!"

"Shouldn't you have increased my perception, since I noticed something...?'

"...I don't appreciate you telling me how to do my job, bub. Just for that, I'm giving you -1 Constitution."

"Whatever." proceding to look around, this adonis of godly power noticed he couldn't see anything.

"Hey, Tiny Jailbait, why is everything a blurred-out mess?"

"Silly stupid idiot bitch, your perception stat is too low to see more than .001 inches in front of your face, duh!"

"I see. That will make my quest a bit more difficult...but, I shall prevail."

"What gives a useless dickless sad piece of shit like you such confidence?"

"Why, the nature of my quest! I seek to do justice, to save the world, to slay a dragon! But, most importantly, my quest is...

To piss you off!"