“You need to learn to accept this part of your life. There is black blood that courses through your veins.”

I leaned against a tree as I let my father's words lull into my mind. I lifted up my hand and looked it over. The sensation of the blood that once stained my hand fell over me. I remembered the bodies that littered the floor of the pumpkin patch. I killed so many people. I moved my hand to my face and closed my eyes. What was it for then? What was the point of me strangling my conscience to death!? I wanted to be strong! I wanted to protect my fathers legacy, I wanted to save Lucile!

“Just what the hell am I?” I mumbled.

“Your sister is as good as dead if you're all she has.”

“Pathetic, the pumpkin king on the ground with two punches. Your father wouldn’t have been beaten so easily.”

Beast's words pierced my mind. All I could see was his cocky face looking down on me. Everyday I’ve been here in the human world. I’ve been beaten down!

Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over!

“AAAAAAAAHHHH!” I screamed and shot up from the ground.

I was tired of it! I was tired of everything! Of everyone! Why is it always me!? I held out my hand and summoned my fiery skulls. And I started blasting into the forest!

Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! why! Why!

Why is nothing I do enough!? Why is every dream I have, have to be crushed! I felt the tears falling down my face. Why was I crying so much? Why did I lose everyone! Why can’t I protect anything! And why does Beast get to be born a monster! I sacrificed everything for this!

“And for what!?” I screamed. “Just to get beaten down again!”

I felt my energy being drained from me. The forest around was erupting into flames. I looked down, and there was a crater that had its own black tunnel I made. I glared at the empty darkness. A shiver running down my spine as I looked deep into it.

“Is it because I’m a mutt! Should I have never been born!?” I roared off into the pit.

But the only answer I got was the crackling fire around me. I panted heavily as sweat ran down my face. The whole forest was heating up.

“Come on then! If you want to erase me then do it! You never hesitated before! So do it!” I screamed again at the pit.

I knew deep down this all meant nothing. My rage, my screams, it was like screaming at the storm to cease. I collapsed and fell to my knees. No one was gonna answer my calls. And I wasn’t gonna die, just because I wished I could. Life was going to continue moving forward. Regardless of my screams, regardless of my work. Even in Astraya, I never felt so insignificant. I stared into the pit. The empty black void. It felt oddly calming now. Familiar even.

I blinked, and suddenly Loki was there in front of the pit. I closed my eyes and rubbed them, making sure I wasn’t seeing things. I opened them again. And there was silence. Not even the crackling of the cindered trees. I hesitated, but I slowly turned to my left. And there was the ashes of the trees. Not even smoke was kindling off them. I kept turning around and looking at the forest I just laid waste too. And it was like everything had already died out. I kept turning, and suddenly I saw...my old house.

I felt the goosebumps form on my arm as I realized where I was. I quickly stood up and turned around. The crater! The burnt trees! Everything! Everything was gone!

“What..” I slowly turned back around.

I hesitated, but I slowly looked back toward my old house. And I was frozen in place. In the window, I could see a woman. Her hair covered her face, as it seemed to flow with the wind. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew her. I knew who that was. But it was like. The memory of the person was being blocked off in my mind.

“Mow,” I jumped hard as I heard Loki's purr.

I looked down to the ground, and there he was. Loki was happily swaying his tail as he looked up toward me.

“You, you brought me here didn’t you?” I mumbled.

Loki just stepped forward toward me. Then he sprang up toward my shoulder. Where he nuzzled my cheek. And in his place, was a small photo on the ground. I looked back up to the house and the figure was gone. Then I looked over to Loki, who was staring intently toward the window where the woman was. I didn’t question it, Lokis never steered me wrong before. I kneeled down and grabbed the photo. And my eyes grew wide. It was an old photo of me and Lucile. It was burnt on the corners, and had scratches on it. But I could still make it out. We were in her room, and she was shoving her fedora on my head. I was so small back then, the hat practically consumed my head. I felt all my anxiety slowly fade away. I even found myself smiling.

Then everything slowly fell into place. WIth Lucile, I didn’t have to be anything. I didn’t have to be the pumpkin king. I didn’t have to hide my magic. I was always allowed to just be me.

“Is that why you brought me here Loki? To find this?”

I looked over to him, and he just licked my cheek. Which slightly stung.

“You know Loki, none of it really matters. Even if I am the pumpkin king, It won't bring my family back. Even if I was Beast, I'd still be here with nothing. As much as I hate to admit it. Maybe the stick in the mud had a point. I just need to get stronger, for her.”

“Mow,” Loki meowed and happily nuzzled my cheek.

“Should I go inside and greet the creepy lady?” I asked.

Loki however, turned to me. His purple feline eyes stared deeply into my own. And honestly, it was a bit unsettling. And for once, I just decided to not question it.

“Let’s head back. I want to buy some more candy corn and coffee. Then maybe you can convince me to watch a movie with Calypso. Honestly, I deserve a break.”