《Lament of The Demiurge》III - Mercy
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After killing the goblins, your party pawns off the gold lump from the quest for quite a bit of coin. You get your fair share of it. You then return to the Academy and present your level 2 stat slates to the professors as proof of your completion of the quest. They appear surprised that you completed the quest so quickly, look the slates over for any tampering, see none, smile at you and inform you that you can attend the Lower School Graduation Ceremony next week and graduate. Almost everyone in your year is moving onto the Upper School, where students spend three years grinding and studying like hell to reach level 5. In fact, you don't know anyone who's dropping out this year except for a few ambitionless swine who are probably just going use their magic for something dull like smithing or farming. You always looked down on those kinds of people: too weak to chase anything worth chasing, too soft to try and grasp true power.
Of course, it appears you're weaker and softer than those pigs.
Here you are, all alone in the school library, well after dark, with only the sound of the crackling of the warm fireplace to zone you in as you sit at a desk with a thick tome of spells for you to drill into. You have exactly the kind of book you love right in front of you and the perfect atmosphere for reading it. No distractions. No-one else around. Only you and these yellow old pages.
And you can't focus on it at all.
All your thoughts keep leading back to the final ghastly thoughts of the goblin shaman.
Our god has forsaken us. Yours will too.
You don't understand why you're so hung up over this. You're a civilised member of modern Lograsian society, of course you don't worship gods. You don't even worship the Thrones much - you reckon that being Aala's friend is good enough for the Throne of Wisdom to have mercy on you and you're too busy studying magic to worry about them most of the time. And why do you care so much about the opinion of a dead, dirty goblin? A shaman too. It was probably senile. They're all evil by nature anyway...
Then again, you're not exactly good by nature, are you?
You are evil. You accepted this as a fact long ago. Being cruel to others is the only way you can get your way to the top. You have to get to the top and you have to stay there. You can't let anyone else take anything else from you. Not your father, not Donovan, not even yourself, no matter how much it hurts to hold something you don't deserve. You want it, don't you? Then you better get it.
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Why are all goblins evil, anyway? And why are you struggling with this? Didn't the Throne of Wisdom want you to kill them? Isn't it a good thing? Why are you suffering for it?
You rub your eyes in exhaustion as you uselessly try to figure it all out when you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see Aala looking down at you, a concerned smile on her face.
"You're not doing okay, are you?" She says.
"Hm? No, no, I'm fine," you reply. "Just a little scatterbrained from the quest, that's all."
She sighs, the smile vanishing from her face. "You didn't put any effort into that lie. This isn't you at all." She pulls up a chair next to you and sits down. "Tell me what's wrong, will you?"
You groan in annoyance and tear your gaze from her to the book. "Don't you have better things to be doing?"
"This is part of my duty as a cleric of Wisdom."
"Well, as a wizard of Intelligence, it's my duty to make sure you're not doing something stupid, which you are at the moment. You should be spending this time learning a new spell, not wasting your time trying to coddle me."
"I'm not - "
"Yes, you are," you snap. "And I'd appreciate it if you do literally anything else."
You expect that to have worked in driving her away but to your surprise, she remains seated. You turn to look at her and she's grinning widely with an outstretched arm on the table. Your eyes widen as you realise what you'd just said.
You begin to protest. "Aala, please, I'm really not in the mood for messing around with learning - "
She quickly snatches the book from under you, moving too quickly for you to catch her in time. She smiles as she holds it. "Hm... I suppose I really ought to be learning new spells as a cleric, shouldn't I?"
"You know I said that without thinking - "
"Of course, clerics have to learn their spells all on their own, just like wizards. It's not like my Throne grants me spells as a blessing - "
"Just give it back to me!" You try to grab it from her but to no avail. You silently swear to yourself to figure out a way to improve your Dexterity from a 9.
"I don't think so... I mean, it can't hurt give it a read, can it? After all, I have to learn new spells as a cleric, don't I?" She begins flipping through the pages and keeps moving it out of your way as you try to get it back. "Mmm, let's see, Mage Armour, Burning Hands, Sleep... oh, look here!" She stops at a page and holds it up to you - the title of it reads Detect Magic. "I know this one! I got it from my Throne this morning!"
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"Can't I just - " You cut yourself off as you realise what she just said. "Wait, you already know this one?"
"Yep! It's always important to know when you're up against someone or something magical, isn't it? Especially so for a wizard, no doubt. I'm sure that you already have it in your spellbook as the best wizard in our school."
You kiss your teeth. You should have Detect Magic, but you learnt a bunch of speed boosting and inhibiting spells instead to make up for your poor Dexterity. She knows this. In fact, she's probably the only person you've told this to.
Her grin widens. "Oh, could it be? Our ancient and proud Academy's most promising young wizard, Hale Reeves himself, doesn't know such a fundamental spell to the arcane? How woeful! Truly, truly, how terrible!"
You raise your hands in defeat. "Fine. I surrender. What are you getting out of this? What do you want?"
She slides the book in between the two of you and shifts her chair closer as she looks at you with those big emerald green eyes, still smiling.
"Let me teach you," she says with a light tone to her voice. "Like the old days."
You can't help but smile a little at this. While it was true that clerics got their spells from their Thrones and as a result had no need to study spells, Aala befriended you by sitting across you from in the library one day and demanding you teach her Mending 'the wizard way'. You indulged her and taught her from a cantrip textbook, not thinking much of it, and her Mending apparently turned out better and quicker than anyone else's in the school from that little tutorial you gave. She's been the only person you'd call a friend ever since.
You sigh. "Guess I have no choice. Take it away, Professor Aala Prost."
She giggles lightly and draws the book closer to her. "Alright then, here we go! So the first thing you need to know about Detect Magic is the way it feels."
You raise an eyebrow. "The way it feels?"
"Yeah, it's this sort of funny buzzing in your eyes..."
You and Aala spend the next few hours in the library alone, sitting by candlelight with no sound but the crackling of the warm fireplace and each other's voices and laughter. It's exactly the kind of book you love, but not the perfect atmosphere for reading. There are distractions. You're not alone. It's you, a somewhat overly persistent young girl and these yellow pages.
And after you spend many hours focusing and scrawling notes into your own spellbook, you eventually manage to see a faint bluish glow around Aala, along with a strange feeling like your eyeballs are vibrating in your skull. It tickles and you laugh -
You feel two cold taps on your shoulder, breaking your concentration on the spell. The glow disappears and your eyes stop vibrating as your laugh is cut short. Aala looks behind you with a look you didn't recognise until yesterday, but now you know exactly what it is - it's soft, distant and warm, yet slightly uncomfortable. It's lovestruck. And you know who it's directed to.
Donovan is standing behind you. You don't turn to face him.
"Well, it's good to see you two," he says. "Although I'm somewhat hurt that you won't look at me, Hale."
"I'm busy at the moment."
"Really? What spell are you studying?" He leers over your shoulder to look at the book, which you quickly shut and hold close to your chest. Aala's face snaps from one of a nervous young girl one of confusion.
"Hey, don't be cold like that," Donovan says. You can hear the sneer in his voice. "We're party members, aren't we? Friends. Family, even."
You stand up. Aala grabs your arm. She's looking at you with pleading eyes. They're saying please don't embarass me in front of my crush. "C'mon, Hale," she mumbles. "He's right. You shouldn't act so mean. It's childish."
"I'm tired. I'm returning this book and going to bed." You free yourself from Aala's grip and walk away -
"Really? You're going to bed? Well then, Aala, I suppose you and I are alone for the rest of the night, aren't we?"
"Um - I suppose... what do you want to do?"
"Hmmm... what to do, what to do?"
You calmly put the book back where you got it from, sliding it back in a tightly packed bookshelf in a tiny space just the right size for it. It fits snugly. You feel peaceful. Serene.
"Donovan, meet me outside, will you?"
"Oh, are you finally going to open up to me a little? How wonderful, friend. I was hoping we could get closer."
You are going to break his back so that he'll never be able to bother you again. And you're going to make it look like an accident.
You will become a Hero -
Our god has forsaken us.
- you will become a mortal god -
Yours will too.
- you won't let him rob anything else from you.
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