《The Secret Policemen》Pest Control
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It was 8 AM. The doors of the elevator opened on the 42nd floor. Two men stepped out wheeling a steel box with the People's Ministry of Public Health and Hygiene emblazoned on the side.
The men were wearing white paper suits with hoods, yellow rubber gloves, and yellow rubber boots, and they were wearing respirators.
The security guard on the 42nd floor moved from behind the desk and walked up to the men.
‘What are you doing here? This is a secure floor, no one is allowed here’ - the security guard said.
‘Pest control comrade’ - said one of the men wearing a paper suit, and he handed the security guard a sheet of paper.
The security guard read the paper and then said - ‘Wait here, don’t move!’
The two men wearing paper suits leaned against the steel box.
The security guard walked back behind the desk to the phone and dialed a three digit number and waited.
‘Hello sarge...sorry to interrupt you, but I need you down at security...yes sarge...no sarge...yes sarge...okay sarge....sorry sarge....thank you sarge’ - the security guard hung up the phone.
One of the men wearing a paper suit said - ‘Is this going to take long? We have another job to get to.’
‘Just wait and be quiet’ - the security guard said - ‘and move that...that thing, the box, out of the way.’
The men in the paper suits made minimal effort to move the steel box out of the way. One of them sat down on the sofa by reception and closed his eyes.
About 20 minutes later the sergeant arrived.
‘What the blazes is going on here, constable?’ - Asked the sergeant, marching up to the security desk - ‘I was having my breakfast, and you call me to tell me that we have an emergency?
The security guard leaped up as soon as he saw the sergeant approaching.
‘Sir, these men are here to fumigate the deputy-minister’s office sir’ - the security guard handed the sergeant the sheet of paper.
The sergeant snatched the paper from the security guard and glared at him, and then glared at the two men wearing paper suits. The sergeant read the sheet of paper, and then turned it over. There was nothing on the back. He turned it over again and read it again.
‘Signed by the Minister for the People’s Ministry of Public Health and Hygiene - no less’ - the sergeant said - ‘Who gave this to you?’
‘Our boss’ - said one of the men wearing the paper suits.
‘And who is your boss?’ - Asked the sergeant.
‘Comrade Keller’ - said one of the men wearing the paper suits.
‘And who is Comrade Keller?’ - The sergeant asked again, stepping forward.
‘He is in charge of assigning our jobs at the Ministry’ - said the same man in a paper suit.
‘And is this Comrade Keller at work today, at the ministry?’ - The sergeant said.
‘Yeah - we saw him about an hour ago when he gave us this job.’
‘Give me the phone’ - the sergeant snapped at the security guard.
The security guard passed the sergeant the phone. The sergeant dialed zero and waited.
‘People’s Ministry of Public Health and Hygiene, please’ - the sergeant said, and waited. ‘Yes, I would like to speak to a Comrade Keller.’
The sergeant waited again - ‘Comrade Keller? This is the head of security for the 42nd floor at the People’s Ministry of State Security and Policing...yes...yes they are...yes....she did?...I understand...yes...very good...thank you Comrade Keller. Yes...you have a good day too...thank you’ - the sergeant hung up the phone.
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‘Apparently the deputy-minister saw a cockroach in her office and requested that her office be fumigated before she returns on Monday morning’ - the sergeant said - ‘The deputy-minister complained to the minister who complained to the minister of Public Health and Hygiene, who ordered a fumigation today - Sunday - so that the deputy-minister’s office is ready for her use tomorrow.’
‘So can we start?’ - The man in the paper suit said.
‘Yes, of course you can start. What are you waiting for?’ - The sergeant snapped.
The sergeant passed the sheet of paper back to the security guard and walked off, back to his cup of tea.
‘This way’ - the security guard said, leading the way.
The security guard led them to the deputy-minister’s office.
‘Is there anyone in there?’ - Asked one of the men wearing a paper suit.
‘Maybe the assistant deputy-minister - but he will be sleeping I am sure. Is it poisonous - the gas?’
‘Only to bugs comrade - we have been told only to do the office area, so we won’t disturb anyone in any of the other rooms’ - the man in the paper suit said.
The security guard unlocked the office door, and the two men in paper suits wheeled the steel box into the office.
‘Thank you comrade’ - one of the men in the paper suit said, as he closed the door behind him.
Inside the office the two men stood still - not moving at all, just listening.
They stood like this for about five minutes - waiting and listening. After five minutes had passed, they removed their respirators and opened up the side of the steel box. One of the men took out a radio and spoke into it - ‘Snow White, this is Pinocchio - do you copy’
‘Go ahead Pinocchio - this is Snow White. What is your situation?’
‘We are inside the belly of the whale - over.’
‘Roger that Pinocchio - inside the belly of the whale. Send next update as planned.’
The man in the paper suit placed the radio back inside the steel box. The other man took out a syringe and removed the cap, and the two men moved through the office. They checked the main office and no one was present. There were three rooms off from the main office. A kitchenette that was empty, a meeting room for private conference calls that was also empty, and a bedroom.
The first man in a paper suit tried the door handle to the bedroom and turned it. The door opened a crack - and a man could be seen, asleep in the bed. The man who had opened the door pulled it shut - and nodded to the other man in a paper suit.
‘Slowly - okay’ - the man holding the door handle said.
The other man nodded.
The door opened again and the man holding the syringe slipped into the room. The sleeping man didn’t stir, and the man with the syringe pulled back the bed covers so that the sleeping man’s calf was exposed. The man with the syringe pushed the needle into the man's leg and pushed down on the syringe plunger.
‘What the fuck?’ - The sleeping man woke up, and the man who had injected him leaped on him and held him down. The other man pulled the door shut, so no noise escaped.
A minute or two passed, and then the man in the paper suit opened the door.
‘Sleeping Beauty is sleeping’ - he said to the other man.
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‘Roger that’ - the other man said.
They walked back to the steel box, and opened the side. The man with the syringe put it back in the steel box, and removed the radio.
‘Snow White, this is Pinocchio - do you copy?’
‘Go ahead Pinocchio - what is your status update?’
‘Sleeping Beauty is under our control. I repeat, Sleeping Beauty is under our control - do you copy?’
‘Roger that Pinocchio - Sleeping Beauty is under our control. Send the next update as planned.’
The man in the paper suit placed the radio back in the steel box and closed the door. He rolled the steel box over to the bedroom door.
The two men slid open the steel box again, and removed two tanks containing water. The tanks had an attachment with a spray gun. They put their respirators on again and then took positions - looking like they were working inside the office and stood there, waiting to be disturbed.
About 20 minutes passed and there was a knock at the door. The door opened and the security guard poked his head inside.
‘Everything okay comrades?’ - The security guard asked, smiling.
‘Yes’ - said the closest man in a paper suit to the security guard - ‘Almost finished’
‘Good job!’ - The security guard commented, smiling again and then closed the door behind him.
The two men in paper suits moved to the steel box by the bedroom door. They opened up the side of it and then opened the door to the bedroom. They pulled back the bedsheets and then lifted the assistant deputy-minister out of bed and carried him to the steel box.
The two men lifted the assistant deputy-minister into the box, bending his knees so that he would fit. They secured him in place with nylon straps and then closed the bedroom door.
One of the men in paper suits took the radio out from the steel box and spoke into it.
‘Snow White, this is Pinocchio - do you copy?’
‘Go ahead Pinocchio - what is your status update?’
‘Sleeping Beauty is in the box, I repeat Sleeping Beauty is in the box. Pinocchio is leaving the belly of the whale.’
‘Roger that Pinocchio - move fast!’
The man in the paper suit turned the radio off and placed it back in the metal box. They had to move fast. When they closed the metal box door there wouldn’t be a lot of oxygen inside to keep Sleeping Beauty alive for very long. They then wheeled the steel box over to the office door, and then closed the steel box up.
The two men in paper suits opened the deputy-minister’s office door and wheeled the steel box out. The security guard was walking down the hall towards them.
‘All done comrades?’ - The security guard asked.
‘All done’ - the first man in the paper suit said.
‘Let me just lock the door, and then I will escort you back to the elevators’ - the security guard said, opening the deputy-minister’s office door and poking his head inside. Everything looked normal, and the security guard closed the door and locked it.
The guard walked back down the hallway and the two men in paper suits followed him, wheeling the steel box with Sleeping Beauty inside.
They arrived at the bank of elevators, and the security guard stepped behind the security desk. One of the men in a paper suit pushed the down button.
‘Hang on a moment comrade’ - the security guard said - ‘I need someone to sign-off that this work has been done, and done properly.’
‘What?’ - Said the first man in a paper suit.
‘I need someone to sign-off that this work was done properly, comrades - if the deputy-minister comes in tomorrow morning and sees a cockroach running across her desk, then it won't be me putting my hand up to say it’s my responsibility’ - the security guard picked up the phone.
The two men in paper suits glanced at each other. About 3 minutes had passed, and the team had estimated there was enough air in the steel box for about 11 minutes.
‘Comrade - the work is done properly. We have to go - we have other jobs to go to’ - the first man in a paper suit said.
‘I am sure, comrades, that your work is of the highest possible quality - but I am not going to take responsibility for it. I need someone with authority to sign-off on the work before you can go. Take a seat, comrades - this might take a while’ - the security guard dialed a three digit number and waited.
Four minutes had passed - seven minutes left to get to the parking garage on P6 and have the steel box opened.
‘Hello sarge...yes...yes...I need you to come to the security desk sarge...no...the pest control team are finished sarge...yes...I just need you to...yes sarge...no sarge...okay sarge’ - the security guard hung up the phone - ‘The sergeant will be along shortly.’
The two men in paper suits looked at each other again warily.
‘Comrade - can my colleague take our equipment down to the parking garage and start loading up? I will stay here and get the paperwork signed off. We have to head over to the People’s Ministry of Information to deal with a mouse infestation in the document storage center.’
The security guard eyed the man in the paper suit - ‘Okay comrade, but if the sarge isn’t happy you will have to bring it back up and do it again.’
The other man in the paper suit pushed the down button on the elevator. The elevator took about 40 seconds to arrive, and the doors opened.
Both men wheeled the steel box into the elevator, with one of them stepping out of the elevator, and the second man in a paper suit pushing the P6 button. The doors closed.
Seven minutes had passed now - four safe minutes left.
It was a Sunday, so the People’s Ministry of State Security and Policing was quieter than normal. Most of the office workers were at home, reading the Sunday paper and drinking tea right now.
The elevator went from the 42nd floor and passed all the thirties and twenties - and then stopped at the 16th floor. The doors opened and two men wearing charcoal gray suits stood outside the opened doors.
‘This one's full comrades - and hazardous equipment’ - the man in the paper suits said, jamming his finger on the close door button.
The elevator doors closed again, and it continued its downward journey. Passed 10, 9, 8, and stopped again at 7.
The doors opened - and two women stood there looking in.
‘We will get the next one’ - one of the women said, and they continued their conversation.
The man in the paper suit jammed the door close button and the doors closed again.
The elevator descended past 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and G. The elevator passed through the basement levels and then into the parking levels. P1, P2, P3, P4, P5, and then P6.
The elevator made a dinging sound, and the doors opened to the almost deserted parking garage.
10 minutes had passed. Only one safe minute remained.
The man in the paper suit heaved the steel box out of the elevator and to the left. Almost running - he moved the steel box towards the parked van. The van had two ramps extending from the back of it - and as the man in the paper suit approached it, another man wearing blue work overalls jumped out of the driver's seat and moved to the back of the van and opened the doors.
The man in the paper suit lined up the wheels of the steel box with the ramp, and then the two men pushed the silver box up the ramp and into the back of the van. The man in the paper suit climbed in the back of the van and the driver slammed the doors shut.
Without stopping, the man in the paper suit opened the steel doors on the side of the and checked the assistant deputy-minister. He was still alive, but panting. The effects of the narcotics and the lack of air were putting a strain on him. The man in the paper suit unzipped a sports bag in the back of the van and pulled out a small oxygen tank with a breathing mask. He placed the mask over the assistant deputy-minister’s face and opened the valve to start the flow of oxygen.
The driver had slid the ramps back into position under the van and secured them. He opened the back door of the van and said - ‘Where’s the other one?’
‘Dealing with crowd control - get us out of here.’
‘Roger that’ - the driver said and slammed the door.
The driver walked around to the driver’s side and climbed in the van. He started the engine and reversed out of the parking bay, turning around.
The man in the paper suit was taking the assistant deputy-minister’s pulse and checking his vitals. Everything looked good - the assistant deputy-minister’s breathing had normalized.
The man in the paper suit reached into the steel box and pulled out the radio, clicking it on.
‘Snow White this is Pinocchio, do you copy?’
Radio silence. They were 12 stories underground, and there was no radio signal.
The driver continued to drive up through the parking garage.
The man in the paper suit continued to monitor the assistant deputy-minister, checking his pulse and breathing. He tried the radio again - ‘Snow White this is Pinocchio - do you copy?’ - Nothing.
The assistant deputy-minister was doing fine. They passed the basement levels and arrived at the security gate on the ground floor. A uniformed officer walked up to the driver’s side and the driver lowered the window and handed the uniformed officer a piece of paper.
The unformed officer spoke into his radio and then listened to the reply before waving to the security booth and the barrier rose.
The driver drove out into the morning sun of Victorious.
‘Snow White this is Pinocchio, do you copy?’
‘Pinocchio this is Snow White - what is your status?’
‘Sleeping Beauty is safe and on the move, I repeat Sleeping Beauty is safe and on the move - over.’
‘Roger that Pinocchio - continue to final destination.’
‘Roger that Snow White. There is a problem, I repeat there is a problem.’
‘Go ahead Pinocchio - what is the problem?’
‘One team member remains in the belly of the whale - do you copy?’
‘Pinocchio, please repeat.’
‘One team member remains in the belly of the whale - do you copy Snow White?’
There was silence for a moment. The man in the paper suit knew that they were digesting the message.
‘Roger that Pinocchio - continue to final destination.’
The man in the paper suit knew that the mission came before everything else. They had Sleeping Beauty and they were safe and away from the ministry.
His mate back up on the 42nd floor knew this as well - and he was on his own now.
The man in the paper suit checked the assistant deputy-minister’s pulse and breathing again. Everything was looking good.
The van continued to its final destination.
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