The bustling chants from the world outside brought my sleep to a halt. A new day for a hero beginning his quest. A new day for a hero whose name will be repeated throughout history. A new day for James Noah Smith. But damn, my head hurts like the underworld. I was out of focus and shit was blurry. I had no energy, like some succubus took out the life out of me (shit sounds so golden though. I wonder if there are any that wouldn't mind a little bit of Sir Noah Smith).

A knock on the door got me immediately on my feet. I opened it and it was Rowan giving me his morning greeting and the battle plan for today's job. "Joinourtableforthemeetingouryouwontbeseeingusanymore hahaha," is what he said. Took me a minute to process but I gave him my best morning salute of "Aye, sir!" and he sort of just grinned at me and left. Didn't want to disappoint my newfound comrades so I quickly got changed and got down to business.

So there I was with my 3 new comrades. Gregory went out earlier and found a quest posting in the adventurer's guild right when it opened. I told him I'd do it next time for him, even though I was admittedly just trying to sound like a true good hero teammate of the team and not really do any of that because it sounds like an awful lot of work. Time like that could be used practicing my autograph skills training and other important stuff. Anyway, we were all there eating breakfast and the gig Gregory found was to exterminate the slimes that were seen around some farm area. Those green little bastards should be easy. I was getting worried about the money, and not only that, I was supposed to kick some Sheedhiedian asses (more like 'Shitheads' if I may say that) but this will have to do for the time being.

So we got the gear and all that shit and made our way out towards that farm whatever place we had to go to. Our destination was a bit of a walk though, like 2 hours. Rowan wanted to take a ride but Walter wanted to walk to save some money. I wasn't quite sure what to say, like getting a ride would've been nice but Gregory didn't say anything and if I did, I would create some potential tension between me and him so I didn't say much. I should've probably said something because my head still hurt and walking for a couple hours sounded gruesome.

And gruesome it was. During our walk the whole world was spinning like some tornado. I couldn't keep focus. The others noticed and asked if I was alright. I toughed it out and told them not to worry but it was awful. I wanted to throw up whatever witch's soup I must have conceived but I did my best keeping it all in.

I somehow managed to hear Walter and Gregory's conversation during this entire time because that's all I was able to do. How embarrassing. Besides my issues, Walter was talking about his wife right in the beginning. How he writes to his wife every week and that it's near impossible to get a response from her because of all the travelling shit they do that it's making him homesick. Gregory told him he will always be in his wife's heart in which Walter mistakenly thought that meant Gregory will be in his wife, or already is, and that got them into an argument. "She is being looked after. Don't worry," and "What the fuck you say! Who is she being looked after!" and "I think you know who," and "Is it Jeremy!? That bastard already got some but he's going after MY wife!? Why did you never tell me?" and this went on longer than it had to. My head still hurt. I don't know what else they went on about. I couldn't fucking focus.

I guess I just needed a nap. So that's what I did. It couldn't have been that long because when I woke up, I was on some merchant's carriage without realizing it! Walter told me how I passed out all of a sudden. "Fucking newbie! I thought I had to carry you, and I'm already carrying so much!" he said, but I wasn't sure exactly what he was carrying besides the usual weapons and bag. I wasn't going to say anything though. I mean, I did pass out of nowhere and that shit's inexcusable for a would-be hero like myself. So that passing out stuff happened and a kindly merchant with his carriage just came along by chance and feeling sympathetic for us he let us right the way out to where we're supposed to go.

The 3 others talked about some shit about how they want to navigate around the kingdom and shit for some reason. I wasn't exactly sure. There are some mercenary types who travel around places but that isn't really a common thing. Way better to have a house or a headquarter to go to. No idea what these 3 are thinking but I'm not going to complain. Heroes don't complain; they swallow. That sounded pretty fucking messed up.

After a little while, we got off the carriage. We thanked the merchant but he looked at us weird for some reason and left us be. Probably just a dick. Nothing to worry about. We had to go off the road and into the forest. I was a little worried having these 3 seemingly experienced mercenaries who've been on the road together for a long time, and then there was me who could take all of them out if needed but my headache was still there so obviously it would hinder my ability to kick some serious ass. I'm going off track. Sorry. After some walking, there was a clearing, a field full of these green and blue slimes! They weren't big or anything, though. Probably up to my knees. I can stomp them if I wanted to. Gregory wanted to make a plan, keep things clean and efficient. "Alright, men. Here's the plan." But Walter was like "No, no. Fuck you, buddy. Not only are they slimes, which are weak as is, but you hid that shit earlier from me!" Of course Gregory countered with "For 1, you've misunderstood me, and 2, they can combine with each other if they wanted to to make a giant slime to throw us off."

"Don't you fear!" I boasted. These slime bastards were nothing. I went out and did my shit. I didn't get most of them since the others helped me out, but we took them out like the trash they were. I fired up my tome to blast them with magic and sliced and diced them up with some special sword slicing! Words can't express the beauty of the fight! Of course, this was only a taste for what's to come. Slimes today, Shitheads tomorrow, but not literally.

There was no giant slime that came out, like some boss battle you'd hear from some people. It wasn't really too eventful. The foes I took down were taken down with skills fit for a real hero being but Gregory, that asshole got mad at me. He was all like, "Don't just run in there and expect to win, you wanker! We need one more!" and "Blimey! What if a giant slime gobbled you up!?" He acted like a father whose child beat the shit out of the school bully and is afraid his child is going into their rebellious phase. I had to keep my cool.

But things worked out in the end, I guess. It kind of hit me how we have some ways to walk back and I feel exhausted. By some miracle there was the carriage from before, but the merchant and the horses were missing, and it looked as though the whole was wrecked, like it got into an accident or an attack. Don't really know. Walter and Gregory started talking about what they should do while Rowan just went straight in and scavenged for whatever valuables were left. Walter soon joined in on the scavenging and I did so too. Don't want anything to lay to waste. There wasn't much, though. Some bullion got left behind. A good amount of bullion, actually. We had to split it 4 ways so that really sucked. Gregory didn't even join the scavenging and he still got a part of the split! What the fuck, you lanky piece of shit. Don't tell anyone I said that.

So after the whole thing we had to take our long walk back. I was still out of energy from the fight earlier so the long walk home was like an uphill battle. It really sucked but we all managed. The sun drew down while the heroic warrior(s) steadily made their way to their accommodation. Silence drew between the 4 with the only piece of noise being the wind's gust. It was a day made with effort. Fucking Gregory. "You were too wild!" "Throwing up in the middle!" "Blimey!" Bullshit.

We got back to the inn. I'm feeling better despite the long walk. We got our reward at the capital's guild and split the cash. I now didn't have to worry about money for a bit. I'll probably go get a drink or 2 at the bar. I'm beat for the day. The other 3 wandered off doing something on their own after we got the reward. "I'm going to look around town. See ya," said Walter. "We might want to stock up on medicine and paracetamol," said Gregory (whatever paracetamol is). "Just...checking out whatever's cool!" said Rowan. Looks like I'm eating dinner alone. Feeling pretty good with the money coming in. Greatness is coming.

Signed, James Noah Smith