12: Positively Freaking (Neal III)

Demons. These were actual demons. Cool-looking horns, bloody pentacles, and bad diplomatic relation with every other race – name it, they have it all. Even their bloody country was a wasteland.

Well, as a good friend of Neal’s would say in this situation, those fucking cunts.

(And, just so you know, he – Neal, not his friend – wouldn’t normally go out on his way to swear pasionately, he would rather stare at the offending item like a father disappointed at the antics of his children.)

Demons. And they came in different colours, too! This just was his lucky day, wasn’t it? How else he could have gotten summoned by a gathering of friendly demons that have discovered that their country was in a danger of a human “hero”?

A “hero” that was supposedly summoned a few weeks ago in a very similar way he was just before mere hours. A “hero” that was supposed to defeat the evil demon lord who wanted to conquer the whole continent. That same evil demon lord that didn’t even exist.

But, wait, there’s more; a thought in the disturbingly bright voice of a tele-marketer.

You are the evil demon lord now, Neal thought to himself as he laid on the nice bed in the even nicer room that he was given. He really did regret his nochalance during the whole conversation with the twelve lord, he regreted predenting that he was all right, that he understood just what kind of trouble he had just gotten into, and he also regreted his inability to express his distress over the whole situation.

All he had needed to do was shout “NO! I DON’T WANT TO BE EVIL DEMON LORD!” from the top of his lungs and those friendly demons surely would have tried to find another way how to solve the situation with “hero”, perhaps they would have even sent him back to his cryptography exam with none the wiser and summoned some other unlucky sod. But he went against his better judgement and displayed false bravado that certainly made him more fitting for the role of an evil demon overlord, no matter the fact that he was a human and therefore shouldn’t even have been considered for such a role.

Seriously, why the hell did they decide to summon someone from another world to be the evil demon lord instead of taking, dunno, some shady character off the streeats and mold that guy to the needed image? After all, even a street urchin would look more menacing that Neal – a thin and somewhat lanky nineteen year old with pink hair with no physical training to speak of. Yes, he could imagine armies trembling at the sight of him; the brutes will learn not to underestimate the might of a nerd.

Unwillingly, the side of his mouth twitched into a small smile as he burried his head into a dark blue pillow and sleep finally claimed him.

***

The morning light was bright, but the bed – soft; and Neal was excellent at doing an impression of a burrito (he didn’t like them, thought). And it certainly felt like any other day in his life, making him wonder if he had forgotten to pull the curtains closed before getting into his bed after a just another day of learning for the exams.

Some weird-ass dream he had had this night, thought. Neal supposed he was so nervous about that crypthography exam that he even dreamt up a weirder scenario just to avoid it. Which was ridiculous, considering the fact that he actually enjoyed the subject. His mum, thought, would have said that it was a “proffesional dream”.

A big yawn, muffled by the pillow due to Neal laying on his stomach like a seastar.

For breakfast, he could eat the pizza that he had hid under his bed from his dormmate who had the annoying habit of eating everything in sight. And than he would crack his notes open and have a quick look before going to take that bloody exam. Yep. Sounds good enough for a plan.

A knock at the door (Who the hell even bothered to knock here?) made him roll on his back and look around. And yelp in surprise.

This wasn’t his room at the dorm.

Nope.

This wasn’t even his room at his parents house.

Nope.

Hell, even the unlikely scenario of him scoring some girl and ending up at in her bad was out as the door opened to reveal a demon.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

So it wasn’t a dream, he finally concluded after his mini freak-out.

- Good morning, Lord Otherwordler, - the demon greeted him while Neal just gaped like an idiot at the man’s so obviously fantasy-like butler outfit, light blue skin and totally cool horns. - After you have had a breakfast, I will escort your lordhip to a meeting of the lords as your presence will be required there shortly, - the demon said as he walked deeper into the room and put a tray of food that Neal hadn’t noticed earlier on a table and, after bowing, promtly left the room.

If he had doubts about being in a different world before, then they disappeared just now – who the hell even used something like “your lordship” without trying to sound sarcastic?