It's been two weeks since my father Alpha Malcolm Greyson had passed away. When we buried him I couldn't cry, the pack cried and howled for the loss of their Alpha but I couldn't. I wasn't worthy enough to cry. I couldn't save him when he needed me. I lost my mentor and my only friend since my mother died. He was my greatest teacher and he protected me throughout my life. I couldn't be the Alpha that he was but I would do everything I could to protect RedFang, Milly and my pup.

I swore as I threw dirt onto his coffin that I would respect his wishes. That was two weeks ago. Now, I was currently sitting at his desk in dad's office. I mean MY office and MY desk drinking a bottle of HIS favourite whisky. It wasnt right. He should still be here. I clenched my fist and tried to control and regulate my breathing. I was pissed off. Angry at the world, I lost my father and my Mate within a few weeks of one another, I became Alpha to 200 pack members who all depended on me. Oh.. and to top it all off I'm about to become a father. GREAT! I slammed my head down on the table in despair when my office door opened.

I looked up and it was Beta Richard. Violet's father. I looked at him and studied his features. Violet had his hair colour and I smiled thinking of her. My life really is shit! That whole spiderman quote entered my mind 'great power comes with great responsibility' and I wanted to shoot spider man in the face.

I started laughing to myself and Richard looked at me with concern... I raised my hand in the air to to reassure him.

'I'm fine Richard, what can I help you with'? I gestured toward the leather seats in front of me and Richard sat down. He was contemplating his next words.

'Well, as you know when the Alpha dies there is a restructure in regards to the ranking of our pack. When the Alpha is removed his beta and gamma is replaced and so on. That means I can no longer act as your Beta. So have you had any thoughts about my replacement'?

Well... that's Richard for you! Straight to the point.

'Yes actually, Milly suggested I pick James'.

Richard's eyebrows furrowed. He looked confused and to be honest I was the same when she suggested it to me. After the funeral a few days ago Milly mentioned that James was a good fighter a new up and coming Gamma. He was in Milly's year group and just turned 18. He wasn't a strong fighter but he was smart and well liked in the pack. I didn't know who he was before the conversation but after speaking around he was well liked and quite a few of his teachers recommended him to me for a senior position.

'I think you would be making a mistake with James. His character is deceitful. There were many occasions where he would bully Violet and lie to his teachers about it. His family are Gamma stock and not suitable. He isn't worthy of being a Beta. Matthew my protege however would be a better suit. He may be a few years older than you but he knows the ropes'....

'Thanks for your input Richard but I think we should be giving the younger generation some roles in the chain. Reduce the divide that was in place under my father's rule.'

Richard directly made eye contact with me when he said his next words and that really pissed my wolf off.

'With all due respect Alpha, I have been a beta for this pack for over 20 years and in my experience a wolf who is deceitful once will not be a loyal pack member. He is inexperienced for the role'.

I squared my shoulders and sat back in my seat. I respected Richard when I was younger but knowing the pain he put my mate through only to aide my father in making me get rid of her made me hate him. I wouldn't show him my disdain but I would show him who would be making all of the decisions around here.

'James will be my Beta and that's final'.

Richard pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. He was a true beta through and through but he knew his place in the pack now. He would concede to me and I knew it. When I left I felt bad about how I handled the situation but he had to know that I was not my father, I would not be coerced or moved on my decision.

There were many changes that needed to be made. The door opened again and I sighed. I looked up only to see Milly entering. She closed the door behind her and walked in. She had moved into the Alpha's residence, not the same room as I made sure she had her own. The only time I could stomach her presence was when I was drunk or horny and tonight i was both.

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WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW

she walked over to me wearing a black silk chemise. She was tiny but curvy with her long blonde hair cascading down her back. She had applied coal liner to her eyes and a bit of red lipstick on her lips.

If I was honest with myself I preferred a girl to look natural but in a moment I wouldn't need to look at her face at all. I let her saunter over to me. She prowled like a cat. The same routine over and over again and I had to admit I was bored but I was lonely. I missed my father and I wanted to feel close to someone. I knew this was my life now and if Milly was to be my Luna then so be it, I just had to make the most out of it. She kissed me and put her tongue in my mouth. I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her against me savouring the only human contact i can have this night and i was starving for it. I wanted Violet and i knew now that i could never have her so why not just give in? I lifted up her dress and moved the fabric to one side. I knew she was wet and ready.

I bent her over the table in front of me and took her from behind hard, fast and rough. I didn't want love, I didn't want the pain of losing someone I loved again and this was the only way to forget even if it was temporary. When I finished and came down from my momentary high I felt hollow. MIlly stood and started talking and didn't shut up. I re dressed myself and stood by the window, when she got the message that I wasn't interested she left. When i turned around i looked at the leather couch I laid Violet against when she fainted in this room the first time she saw me. Just over a month ago.

Guilt.

Damn.

It hurt. I cheated.

Physically yes but not emotionally. All at once I was sober again. I was that drunk I didn't even think about my bond with Violet. Now it all came back to me and what my mother told me about mates when I was a child. When a mate cheats the other feels the pain of that betrayal at the same time through their mate bond no matter how strong that connection is.

FUCK!

I closed my eyes and for the first time since my father passed .... I cried.