《Her Heart Keeper ✔》~ 33 ~
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Maya's POV:
I'll tell you everything, Avi. I know you'll get hurt at the end, but I've got my own reasons. I thought in my mind, composing myself.
"Did you remember once you wrote in the letter why I started getting distant from everyone?" I asked, looking into his eyes, to which he nodded his head.
"I was 12 when that incident happened. An incident which left a deep scar on my heart and soul. Remember, you and Anna always used to warn me not to trust people blindly. But I didn't give heed to your words. Or to be precise, I didn't understand your words properly at that time. But that was the first time in my life that I understood your words when I faced betrayal from my own friends. They turned their backs towards me when I needed them the most. Avi, I was sexually abused by my senior."
I gulped a huge lump in my throat and closed my eyes. A lone tear escaped from my eyes. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was looking at me wide-eyed.
"Yes, I was sexually abused by my senior, not once but twice. The first time he harassed me on the school bus. When I went to give the complaint, my friends said that I was the one who ran behind him as he was the popular guy in the school. They said that I was just making an issue to gain attention and popularity. How could they, Avi? Which girl will keep her self-respect and her dignity at stake just to gain some stupid attention from people? For God's sake, I was just a 12-year-old kid. They spread false rumours throughout the school, making me a laughingstock in front of everyone.They left no stone unturned to mock me and degrade my character. No-one trusted me when I made a complaint. My bus incharge informed my class teacher about that incident. I tried my best to prove that I was innocent, but how could I when my own friends stood against me? My class teacher warned me to change my behaviour, but the principal Sir, trusted me and that was enough for me. He gave that guy warning, but could we change rogues like him?"
I shut my eyes in pain. I wish I could forget that day in my life and erase those scars.
"One-day we were having a special class. I was sitting in my place and writing my notes, waiting for the teacher, when a girl came and told me that my teacher was calling me to collect some notes. I was getting bad-vibes, but I chose to neglect them. I was going to the staff room when I was pulled into an empty class room. I was shocked and terrified because there he was, the same boy who was responsible for all the mess, standing in front of me along with two of his friends. I was blank for a moment. I tried to escape, but they locked the door. He slapped me hard on my face and pulled my hair."
My body shivered as I rewound all those dreadful memories. Avi hugged me tightly and made me sit on his lap.
"He threw me on the ground and came up above me. I tried to push him but his friends held my hands and legs." I could never forget or forgive them ever in my life. "He touched me inappropriately all over my body with his filthy hands."
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I will never forget those touches that made me feel disgusted with my own body.
"I shouted for help with the hope that someone would come and help me. He once again slapped me hard and shut my mouth with his hand. I wriggled and tried my best to free myself from their clutches. But I failed. They were three and stronger than me, and I felt weak and dizzy because of his slaps. He tore my shirt, and I felt numb and laid there crying under him. I prayed to God a thousand times in my mind to save me from that creature. I knew the chances were less as the room was in a corner, and no-one could hear my pleads and whimpers." I still remember me shouting for help with the hope that someone would come and save me. I looked at him. His eyes pooled with tears, and I could see a plethora of emotions in them. "As if listening to my prayers, the door broke open and there stood my saviours, my maths teacher Jamuna mam, along with Surya and the peon, when he was about to kiss me. I didn't know what would have happened if they hadn't come at the right time. The three tried to escape from the other door, but Surya had locked it from the outside. My teacher immediately covered me with her dupatta and I didn't remember what happened as I had fainted."
He hugged me tightly and wiped my tears. I broke down in his arms. I hid my face in his chest while he encircled his arms around me. I tried my best to control my tears, but they were not stopping. Argh! He patted my back and kissed my head. His touch always calms the storm inside me.
I raised my head and looked into his eyes while he looked into mine. I could spend my entire life drowning in those dark brown eyes.
"You always deserve the best, Avi, not a person like me. That's the reason I always suppressed my feelings for you. I saw you were getting attached to me. That's why I started to avoid your calls and mostly you", but before I could speak further, he shut me up by placing his lips on mine.
I tried to match his pace, but he was kissing me aggressively, pouring all his anger out. Our tongues fought for dominance while he bit my lower lip harshly. It's definitely going to bleed.Soon we broke the kiss in need of oxygen. We joined our foreheads together, and all we could hear was our raging heartbeats.
"Never. I mean, never say that you don't deserve me. You are the best thing to happen in my life, bunny. I still remember the first time I took you in my arms. You know, you are so tiny and all pink. You held my pinky finger tightly in your tiny fist. That day, I promised myself that I would always be with you, though I was only a 4-year-old kid. You were, are, and will always be my little bunny who rules my heart. I guess it's me who failed in protecting you," before he could speak more I placed my hand on his lips and nodded my head a no.
"This much had happened and how come no-one in the family didn't know about this? What happened after that, Maya?" Asked Avi.
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"Only me, Adi dadda, Jhansi atta, and Anitha aunty knew about that incident in our family. They didn't even tell their spouses about that incident. My school principal was Adi Dadda's classmate, so when Jamuna Mam informed the principal sir about the chaos, he informed Adi Dadda. Those boys were suspended from the school with a black mark. Their parents apologised to us, and Adi Dadda and Jhansi Atta made sure they got the punishment they deserved, and also shifted them to another city with his connections. And you do know about him, right? How protective he is when it comes to me. I was hospitalised for two days as I was unconscious for two days. When I opened my eyes, I expected my parents to be beside me." I gulped the lump and composed myself. "Jhansi atta and Adi dadda were sitting beside me. When I asked them about my parents, they told that they both couldn't come as they were out-of-station for their work. Adi Dadda just informed them on the phone that I was ill, as it's not an issue to be discussed over the phone. They told our maid to look after me. That day, I took a promise from both of them to not to inform my parents and anyone at home. I didn't know why I asked that at that time. But at that time, I felt it was right. I want to forget that incident right there. But, could we forget those dreadful memories easily?"
"I tried my best to deviate myself. I became involved in studies. If there is something that gave me peace of mind in all the chaos, then it is drawing and cooking. I used to nudge Anjumaa and Pinni (Janaki) to teach me cooking. Amma and Nanna didn't even have time to glance at me and Nandan as they were busy with their work. I slowly slipped into depression. I used to have nightmares and sometimes panic attacks too. Adi Dadda made me attend counselling. That's how Anitha Aunty knew about my past. I stopped interacting and used to stay in my room after school. I used to hug my nanamma's (dadi/grandma) photo every night. Thathayya (grandpa) was worried about me, and he felt sick. I felt bad for seeing him like that. Why should he suffer because of me? I started to spend time with him. Every evening we used to do gardening, we used to go for a walk, and he used to narrate stories to me. At a point in time, I forgot what happened on that day. But still, somewhere the scars were still imprinted on my heart."
"I used to be afraid to trust new people. I'd built a wall around my heart. I started to stay aloof from everyone, especially in school. My friends who supported him came to know his true colors. They came to me and asked for my forgiveness and asked me to be their friend once again. I forgave them because I wanted to be free from the past. I knew what they had done was wrong, but I didn't want to keep any connection with them, so I forgave them. I told them not to approach me again because I could never forget the words they hurled at me. But in all this, I didn't know when Surya came close to me. I really owe my life to him. If not for him, I didn't know what would have happened to me on that day."
"Though he had saved me on that day, I was afraid to accept him as my friend. I didn't even know his name till that day, though we were in the same class. I was afraid to trust a person again, but slowly he made a place in my heart. and I didn't even know when he became my best friend. It took me one year to trust him and get comfortable around him. I still can't believe it's been 10 years since our friendship. I felt safe and comfortable with him, just like how I used to feel with you guys."
"Then you went to the hostel for the graduation. Though I used to write letters and talk to you on the phone daily, I used to miss you badly. I used to scold you in my mind a thousand times every day about why you were born earlier than me. If we were of the same age, then we could be together all the time. And maybe that wouldn't have happened to me. But we couldn't change the things that were already written in our destiny, right?"
"Then, after a year, thathayya passed away. Nandan used to be busy with his friends, and Amma and Nanna got more indulged with the work. Once again, I started to feel lonely. Sometimes me, Anna, Sravya, and Surya used to hang out at the weekends. But still, I used to miss you badly. I knew if I said that to you, you wouldn't even think twice about coming to me by leaving everything over there. I stopped taking care of my health. Anna and Surya used to scold me for my carelessness. Sometimes Surya used to take me to his house. Niranjana aunty and Laxmi nanamma used to pamper me a lot."
"You know, Avi, I feel jealous of all of you sometimes. You have such amazing parents who understand you, pamper you, and encourage you to chase your dreams. I studied hard so that I could pursue agricultural engineering. You know, right, I have always wanted to become an agricultural scientist. But when Nanna didn't agree to it, I felt my world crashing down. I thought my amma would support me, but as usual, she supported her husband. I tried my best to convince them, but they didn't agree."
I closed my eyes and leaned my head on Avi's shoulder.
"Sometimes I used to wonder where my superman was, who used to make me sleep on his stomach and cuddle me. Where was my amma, who used to tell me bedtime stories and make all my favourite dishes? There was a time when they used to leave no chance to pamper me and Nandan."
I wish they could have trusted me.
To be continued....
Keep smiling and ❤
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