《LOVELESS》Chapter 42
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The Lyft driver pulls up behind a car entering the gate of the apartment complex. Yemi's driver is about to follow the car in, but Yemi stops him. "You can just let me out right here," she tells him in a sulky mood. The driver nods, and then presses his foot on the brake before Yemi opens her door. "Thanks," she says quietly as she disembarks the car.
She pulls out her keys as she scurries through the open gate, ignoring her phone ringing in her purse. She makes it to her apartment, and immediately after closing the door behind her, she throws her purse across the room, yelling away her suppressed anger.
___
Back at Dave & Buster's, Stevie and Max are scarfing their food down while Veronica's food is getting cold in front of her. She is in the middle of calling Sam for the third time, and decides to go ahead and leave him a voicemail.
"I know you see me calling, you fucker," she whisper-shouts.
"Oouuuu," the boys react to her words, briefly coming up for air. At this point Veronica doesn't even care.
"Not only are you fucking up your shit with Yemi, but you're also fucking up my fuckin' sanity. You're fucking delusional if you think you still have feelings for that cheating ass, conniving ass, lying ass bitch. Get your shit together Samuel. If I have to fly down there, I will fuckin' flip the fuck out," she continues, slamming the phone down on the table a couple of times before pressing the end button.
She looks up and finds the boys gazing at her wide-eyed.
___
Yemi is undressing in her bathroom. After she takes her bra off, she glances in the mirror and does a double take at her reflection. She turns her body around to get a better look at her back. She squints and gasps sharply at the sight of her bruise. Her eyes start to get watery as she thinks back to this morning when Sam threw her against the table. For the life of her, she can't figure out why Sam would still have feelings for his cheating ex, especially after how the scandal affected him. It's bad enough he's emotionally unavailable to Yemi, but to finally, for the first time, hear him express his feelings and only for it to be about his ex... it's like a double slap to their relationship.
Yemi's thoughts are cut off when she hears pounding at her front door. She hesitates before turning to exit the bathroom. Sam's voice faintly comes through the walls as he calls out her name, causing Yemi to stop in her tracks. She goes back into the bathroom, and approaches the bathtub. She turns the shower on and ignores Sam as she steps into the tub.
___
NEXT MORNING
Yemi is on her way to the front door, wearing her old work attire, including her old Timberland boots from the Goodwill store. She's about to turn the knob when she thinks about Sam. She removes her hand, and steps backwards, thinking for a moment before walking to her window. She looks through the blinds, scanning the area in case Sam is still parked outside. One thing she is certain about is that even though he doesn't have the same strong feelings she has for him, she is confident that he cares enough about her that he would probably sit in his car all night, even after she ignored his knocks last night.
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His truck is nowhere in sight, so she proceeds to the front door and opens it. She walks out slowly, surveying the area. She runs down the stairs and into her 2004 Sedan. She quickly straps her seat belt in before starting the engine, and then puts the gear in Reverse. She checks her rear view mirrors, and sees that it's clear to step on the gas. The car starts to move back only for Yemi to have to quickly press on the break. She turns her whole body around to see Sam's truck blocking her car in.
She throws her head back in frustration, and sighs before hearing a tap at her window. She reluctantly turns to see Sam's tall figure leaning on her door. She cracks her window open, just enough to hear him. "I can't be late to work again. Please let me out," she says, trying to be patient and empathetic with him.
He bends over to look at her face, his eyes heavy from lack of sleep. "I don't wanna lose you, Yemi."
"... You've already lost me," she says looking straight ahead.
"I don't believe that."
"Well believe it," she retorts, unconvincingly.
"Well, tell me how I can get you back."
She takes a deep breath, still avoiding eye contact with him. "... I need you go to counseling."
"What?" He asks, shocked at her response.
Yemi turns back to him, looking into his eyes. "You should figure out why you're still having feelings for someone who you were mad at for over 10 years."
Sam shakes his head. "I don't need counseling. I just need you."
She looks down, knowing she needs him, too. "Sam... I have a bruise on my back, because of your built up emotions from being hurt by the first and only woman you've loved. The same woman who shows up unexpectedly, causing you to fight your friend, because you still have feelings for her," she expresses, emotionally. "If you ever want to be with me again-"
"You're breaking up with me?" He asks, incredulously.
"Sam-"
"I think you're overreacting."
"And I think you're not thinking at all."
"Don't play me, ma," he says with all seriousness. "So you're telling me my actions haven't proven to you how much you mean to me?"
"That doesn't matter if at any time you could leave me for your ex."
"I don't want her," he asserts.
"But you have feelings for her," she fires back.
Sam takes a deep breath, standing up to stop himself from prolonging the argument.
"... If you don't get counseling, this will be the last time I speak to you," Yemi forces herself to say.
Sam looks back at her as if her words are cutting him deep.
"Until then... You have to leave me alone." A tear runs down her cheek and Sam furrows his eyebrows with his lip curled in anger. A moment later, he nods disconsolately before walking over to his truck. He drives away in silence.
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Yemi pounds the steering wheel and sobs at the possibility of never seeing Sam again. She loves him, but she needs him to take care of himself first.
Sam pulls out of the apartment complex, his face flushed, full of anger. He can't believe Yemi is giving up on him because of what he said to Jamie, after Sam's proven to her that she's the only one he wants. He punches the steering wheel, upset at how all of this has gone down.
___
TWO DAYS LATER – SUNDAY MORNING
Sam is lying in bed. His phone rings, and he jumps up in hopes of it being Yemi. He finds his phone on the floor and throws it back down when he sees 'P' on the screen. He lies back down, allowing the phone to continue ringing. Pastor Harold calls three more times before Sam finally answers.
"Yeah?" Sam says, uninterested.
"You know I was going to keep calling until you answered, right?"
"I see. What's up?" He asks, getting straight to the point.
"I need to speak with you before the service starts."
"I'm not going today."
"That's fine, but I still need you to come holler at me."
"For what?"
"-I'll see you in an hour." He hangs up before Sam can say anything else.
Sam exhales forcefully. "Fuck."
___
"So, what's up?" Sam asks the Pastor, sitting across from him on his desk, wearing a sweat suit and some Nikes.
"I'm concerned about you," the Pastor admits to Sam.
"Yo, you could've told me this over the phone."
"Samuel, I've known you for some time now. I needed to examine your face after what I saw when that woman approached you on Wednesday."
"No disrespect, but I don't want to talk about it."
"Alright. But if she's going to be coming to this church, I need to know who she really is."
"I don't even know who she really is," he states sarcastically.
Pastor Harold smirks at Sam's sarcasm. "She has a lot of power over you. I can tell that, and I hate to see she has this effect on you."
Sam scowls, disliking the Pastor's statement.
"I'm only calling it like I see it."
"Well you're mistaken, because she doesn't have any power over me."
The Pastor shakes his head, understanding Sam's tone of voice. "She's an ex," he realizes.
"You figured it out. Now, let's drop it."
The Pastor nods, not wanting to push Sam away. "Is Yemi coming to the service?"
"Probably not. She's trying to stay away from me, now."
"And you're going to show her you're not going anywhere, right?"
"I already tried to get her back."
"Like I told you before, that woman is for you. You can't give up on that fight."
"Man, the only way she'll even talk to me again is if I go to Counseling."
"That could actually be good for you."
"I'm not talking to a stranger about my life."
"Alright, then I'll counsel you."
Sam kisses his teeth, waving the pastor off.
"If you want your woman back, I suggest you put that pride to the side and do what you gotta do."
"I'm good, P," Sam tries to convince him.
"At least think about my offer. I mean really think about it."
"Alright, I'll think about it." Sam is only agreeing with him so that they can end the conversation.
"And you're really not going to the service, today?"
Sam shakes his head and then stands up, ready to go.
"Well, try not to mope around when you get home."
Sam leaves out, not saying a word back. He rushes through the parking lot, trying to escape before anyone sees him. He hops in and speeds through the lot before almost hitting Jasmine who appears out of nowhere, walking at the end of the driveway. "Shit." He stares at her through the windshield, tempted to run her over as she stares back at him.
He rolls his window down, "Get out the way."
"I need to tell you something first," she responds, still standing in front of his truck.
"I advise you to move before I run your ass over."
"Sam, please just hear me out."
"So you can apologize? I don't want to hear it Jasmine. Just move."
"It's important."
"What is it, Jasmine?" He asks, super annoyed.
She power walks to his door. "... I have a 13 year old son."
"Okay, now get to the point."
"I've been hiding him from you."
He shakes his head in confusion, "What?"
"He's yours Sam."
He squints at her, "You're fuckin' crazy, yo."
"I know what you're thinking. But I used a condom with- with you know who. And we didn't go all the way because you... you caught us."
He furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head as he contemplates her confession. "So you really think I'm stupid to believe some shit like that? That I have a 13 year old son? Get the fuck out of here. You're on some grimy shit."
"Sam, I had stopped taking the birth control pills." She puts her head down in shame before looking back at him. "I found out I was pregnant right after we broke up. I knew you were disgusted by me, so I didn't tell you."
He examines her facial expression, realizing she may be telling the truth. "Are you shittin' me?"
She shakes her head, apologetically.
"I have a son, and you hid that shit from me?" He asks incredulously.
"I'm sorry. But that's why I've been keeping tabs on you lately. I wanted to finally tell you."
Sam finds himself staring at her as he absorbs the information.
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