Shae stood in the middle of her bedchamber feeling somewhat lost as one of her ladies-in-waiting moved around lighting a few candles to ward off the dark as the night was settling. After another two days spent mostly in her bed with Mio as her constant bedfellow, she was feeling better even if her arm still hurt when she moved it.

Tired from the poison, she had managed little, so Mio and she had done some watercolours in bed, and his nannies had read them stories. When they noticed Shae's eyelids drooping towards the late afternoon, they had taken him back to his chambers. She rather wished they had let him stay, but she suspected he didn't want to nap as much as she currently did.

After so long in bed, she desperately wanted a bath. Ornice, a dark-haired woman from the Kingdom of Sanore, had ordered her one, and they were just waiting for it to be brought up.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do, Your Majesty?" The lady-in-waiting came up before her, the chamber now fully lit by the myriad of candles and a fire roaring in the grate.

After falling asleep in the late afternoon, Shae had awoken alone in the darkening room and for a moment she had panicked. Castel had heard her distress from the other side of the door and come inside. Seeing his concerned face had been enough to both calm her and make her feel rather silly about her reaction. The attack on her life had brought back too many memories, and with them, the fear of the dark she thought she had overcome. Darkness and any constrictions immediately returned the feeling of being wrapped in her bedsheets and slung over the enemy's shoulder.

She shuddered slightly before shaking her head. "No, that's all, Ornice. Thank you."

"Would you like me to stay and assist you with your bath?"

"No, thank you." She had never had anyone assist her with her bath, and even if she dreaded being alone, she refused to start now.

"Very well then, I shall take my leave." With a curtsy, Ornice left the room.

Watching the door swinging shut behind the other woman, Shae fought the impulse to call her back. All to avoid being alone. She was used to being alone. Loneliness was part of her life the last few years, but after the attack, she no longer wanted to be separate from the world around her. Too long, she had allowed the events of her past to prevent her from creating a future. To take an active spot in life. She had merely existed. It was time to be brave. To allow herself the comfort of friends and family. Maybe she should give her ladies-in-waiting another chance. She was certain they were not bad people. She had just never cared to get to know them.

She was just about to call Ornice back when a soft knock sounded on the door and Felix entered. Reflexively, she pulled her dressing gown a little tighter around her. He had been a scarce sight since he'd rebuffed her advances the other morning. Only briefly checking in on her twice a day to see how she was doing. It was probably for the best. The idea of her throwing herself at him, only to have him deny her, was mortifying.

"How are you feeling tonight?" he asked as he closed the door behind him. A stack of papers under his arm caught her attention.

"What are those?"

He smiled wryly. "Correspondence from my Envoys in the kingdoms. The High Council meetings and preparations for the Championship Games have taken up all of my time lately, so I thought I'd read through them before bed."

"You work too hard." She suspected he was one of the hardest working people in all of Erya. Something most people seemed to ignore when they complained about his seat of power. Without a High King, the kingdoms squabbled among each other, and according to history plenty of wars had been fought before the position of High King was created by the Gods. Even during the recent decade after Deva murdered the previous High King, there had been strife between the kingdoms, so having a mediator of sorts should not be something they hated to the level some of them did.

"Someone has to do it." Felix shrugged. "Might as well be me."

"Maybe..." She worried her lower lip with her teeth as a thought had taken hold of her. "What if I helped you? I could assist with some of the easier tasks and decisions."

His eyes widened as he stared at her. The shock shouldn't have surprised her as she had never given him any indication that she wanted to take a more active interest in the running of Erya, but it still rankled her a little.

"I know it is not commonly done," she muttered. "But I would like to think I possess enough common sense to help in some way or other to lighten your workload."

"If you want to, then please." He smiled. "I didn't mean to look so surprised. Any help is appreciated. I just never realised it was something that interested you."

"I find politics tedious," she admitted. "But I know enough to help. Or I could simply read through some of your correspondence to highlight the sections I think need your attention."

He walked across the room to stand before her. She was a tall woman, but even she had to tilt her head back slightly to meet his eyes. "Anything you are willing to do to help, I will accept," he said. Raising a hand, he cupped her cheek. "I'd let you take over as High King if that is what you wanted."

Something inside her chest flared to life. No matter how hard she fought against it, she could never fully temper her responses to this man. She forced a teasing smile. "You should not offer such things. What if that has been my secret ambition all along?"

A warm laugh escaped him. "If it has, you have hidden it well."

"The best aspirations are well hidden." She had meant the words as a jest, but as she said them, they felt more true than anything else.

Felix's green eyes searched hers silently as they stared at each other. "And what are your aspirations, Shae?" he asked quietly. "What are your secret desires?"

You. She pushed the unbidden thought away. Wanting a husband who loved someone else was not one of her ambitions. Even if that didn't make it any less true. Taking a step back from him, she shook her head. Her gaze dropped to her feet. "I don't know," she mumbled. "I have not dared to have any after I lost my family. My only goal was to be the High Queen my mother would have wanted."

He was silent for a moment as he pondered her words. "Losing your family in the way you did," he finally said. "I cannot imagine what that would be like. I can't imagine losing my sister, and you lost both your brother and your mother in the most horrific fashion. But don't let your loss deter you from living the life that you want. Not the life they wanted for you."

"I have never allowed myself to consider what I want."

"Then it's probably about time."

She was almost relieved when she was saved from having to continue the conversation as the door opened and a stream of servants poured inside to fill the copper tub that was a permanent fixture in her room, hidden behind a privacy screen. When they disappeared, Felix gave her a lopsided smile as he held up his stack of papers.

"I will leave you to your bath." He moved to the door to leave her alone. Again.

"No!" The objection left her lips before she could prevent it, and he stopped mid-step to turn back to her, his eyebrows raised in question. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves before she could continue in a calmer tone. "Please, don't leave. I... I don't want to be alone right now."

"If you prefer, I can call one of your ladies-in-waiting," he offered as he shifted the stack of papers from one arm to the other. His gaze travelled along her form in the thin nightgown, and she remembered how he had called it a flimsy excuse of a robe. His green eyes darkened a shade when she untied the sash and let it drop to the floor, leaving her in the simple nightdress she'd worn the past couple of days.

"I don't prefer." By the way he followed her every step as she moved towards the privacy screen, he was not unaffected. It felt good to see his reaction after his rejection the other day. While it was true she didn't want to be alone, there was definitely a spiteful part of her that hoped he suffered the way she did when she was near him. "Please, Felix. Stay."

He nodded but looked somewhat miserable. "Of course. I will stay here to read my letters."

"Thank you." She slipped behind the privacy screen, and a few moments later she sank into the hot water, letting out a contented sigh. As the warmth of the bath enveloped her and chased away the chill of recent events, she closed her eyes and listened to the little noises reaffirming that Felix was still in the room. The sound of a chair scraping against the floor. The rustling of paper as he read through the pile of correspondence. Having him there was comforting, even if she couldn't see him.

She was not alone. At least not for now.

~~~~~~