desire

/dɪˈzʌɪə/

noun

a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Blake left that night since we had classes tomorrow. I walk down the hallway before a pair of hands cover my eyes. "Guess who?" I hear a small whisper in my ears.

"Mum, what are you doing here? I'm joking." I said laughing as I turned around and removed the hands from my gaze. My eyes widen when I see Jordan standing there and I pushed him away.

"What the fuck Jordan? Don't touch my face." I said walking away from him, I hear his slight chuckle as he rushes to my side. "Sorry I just saw you and decided to prank you but it seems as if you are waiting for a certain someone."

"I am. And It's not you."

"Oh really, who is then?"

"It's me prick." There it goes, his deep beautiful voice echoing around the busy hallways. I noticed the anger in Blake's eyes as it sets on Jordan. Do they know each other?

"Well, well, well if it isn't the almighty Blake Ezekiel Moretti. How have you been bestie?" So they do know each other but it seems as if they have some war between them. The way Blake's mood shifted almost immediately scared me, along with Jordan's smile of annoying him seemed to surprise me. They clearly had hatred in their past but it seems to be not. They were best friends due to the words of Jordan.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Blake wraps his hands around my own as we begin walking away from Jordan. "How's Lauran?" I hear Jordan say causing Blake to stop almost immediately. His hand squeezed roughly against my own causing me to whimper.

"Blake you're hurting me. Blake." I said, Blake stopped almost immediately and apologised as he let loose of my hands. "I'm sorry princess, I just hate that fucker." He whispered, we leaned against my locker after taking out a few books. Blake decided not to leave my side all day after what had happened at the party. Nobody seemed to get in my way since that night. But since that night I knew one thing, that as long Blake was here, right next to me. Everything was going to be okay.

"Why?"

"Rough past." He said shortly clearing up the fact he doesn't want to talk about it. We enter English and sit in our normal seats at the back. The teacher never arrived and I rested my head on Blake's shoulder. I couldn't sleep properly yesterday because I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

What were we?

The door slams open but I kept my head on Blake's shoulder, "good morning everyone, so the trip to Italy is tomorrow you have to make your own way to the airport and make sure to be there in a group of five and be there by six am in the morning. Anyways bring your books out and let's begin."

I noticed shuffling of Blake causing me to lift my head up. He brings the book to cover me sleeping and I chuckle looking up at him. "It's my turn I guess." He whispered.

I bring my lips towards his cheeks before he turns his face and it collided with his lips. "Don't tempt me right now princess."

"Or what?"

"I will throw you on this table and fuck the daylight out of you." He said so care free, I felt my thighs press together as I bite lowly in my lips thinking of him actually fucking me. Damn was it chemotherapy that was getting me horny or was it just me? "It seems like you want me to."

"Oh look Shakespeare."

"Hello Amira, now It's been a few weeks since you started chemo and now we are here to check how you're doing." I shuffled in my seat, my hands were underneath my thighs and my lips between my teeth. My mum held my arm chair giving me a curt nod as the doctor rambles on about my health.

"At this rate we don't know-" I was getting distracted by the small butterflies outside, the sun allowing the small streaks of sunlight to make it look as if glitter was falling around them, butterflies were beautiful. So beautiful. I always remind myself that I am a butterfly, that one day I could be free from this trap of nonsense and fly high but then other I can get caught up and locked into a tiny frame.

I turn my head back to the conversation that I have detached myself from, I saw the shock on my mothers face which got me wondering onto what. "Whats going on?"

"Amira, we don't know if Chemotherapy is working for you. Sometimes chemotherapy doesn't work for leukaemia because it doesn't always kill all the leukaemia cells. I suggest other treatments, including stronger chemotherapy, radiotherapy and bone marrow transplants or stem cell transplants. But the waiting list is long."

"So, what are you trying to say?"

"Amira we don't know if you would make it...don't get me wrong, you are a very strong woman but right now leukaemia is winning...there might be a chance of life shortening for you-" My mum interferes with questions, over loading the doctor before I stand up from my seat, they both look at me as I excuse myself for a moment.

The sleeve of my hoodie was being chewed up into my mouth, who would've thought? Me? Leaving this world. Why would I let this stupid cancer win over me? Over me? Amira Alexandra. I'm not going down without putting up a fight.I finally met a few friends that I love, I have Belle and now I have Blake.

Why was it when I finally had the right people? That I finally feel happy. I slide down the wall besides the machine full of chocolates. My hands stroke my face before pushing my hair back. It wasn't fear of leaving. It was fear of how it would affect people. Clearly it wouldn't affect Blake since he just got to know me but my heart says the opposite..

I bite into my thumb before I notice Belle rushing down the hospital hallway holding Starbucks in her hands. Something she does on a daily. She pauses when she locks eyes with me. She begins asking me questions with the look in her eyes.

I shake my head before she rushes up towards me putting the drinks into the floor. She kneels down, her knees making contact with the floor before she pulls me in for a hug. Her hands wrapped around my neck whilst my head was tucked into her chest. The tears fell like soft drops of salt. I feel it stroking my cheeks but as I shuffle it makes contact with Belles shirt. "It's okay...we will be fine...It's me and you against it..." she whispers whilst I continued crying.