hope

/həʊp/

noun

a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen

Blake Ezekiel Moretti 

"She's getting worse,"

"We are trying everything in our power."

"We don't want to give you false hope."

"We don't think theres a chance Amira can fight this."

"We suggest you to be strong for her."

"We think these are her final days."

The words were echoing around my mind, like tiny missing sentence. I stared down at our interlocked hands as the monitor beeps removing the silence. Her sleeping phase as she peacefully snores. Her soft skin being touched my own, her closed eyes which covered beautiful brown ones. Gosh they were my favourite thing about her.

Her hazel eyes were both the sunlit boughs and the soft moss that clothed the hazel tree. Amira's eyes weren't like the wet bark on the oaks, but more of the soft brown rings that gave away the age of the few they felled. Combined with the gentleness of her features and honeyed skin, she could soothe anyone. It was a skill that came to be more treasured than any other. In those brutal times there was nothing anyone could want more than to be with a natural born nurturing soul; and no-one was better than

Her brown eyes shined brightly, reflecting the warmth of the sun. They were such a unique colour, a mix of light and dark. They looked at my dark brown eyes now, so big and beautiful, so much emotion held inside. They smiled constantly, those doe eyes. Eyeliner rimmed her eyes, making them stand out so much more.

She could never understand the beauty she is made of, because she doesn't see herself as I do, as anyone does. Then her plump lips, the locket was on her neck. The same one I have given her in Italy to which she has never taken of. 

"It's been a long journey...a journey we both never thought there would be an end to. You helped me...Amira you god damned helped me with everything. But I need you to stop fighting...and put your heart to rest..I noticed I was being a selfish prick by asking you to go through pain...my love for you would never change. You will be the only woman to my heart...you have they key..one day I'm going to see you up there...I'm going to fall back in love with you and we can rest together.." The hand around my own tightened, I gasped seeing her groan in pain lightly. Her head slightly turns and her eyes blink more than a hundred times allowing the light to come inside.

"B-b-bl-blake my head hurts..." I jump out of my seat and hold my hands against her cheeks, she slightly moves up allowing me to sit next to her. I slide into the bed as she rest her head onto my chest. Her hands barely moving like It used to, like when she grazes my tattoos. "Am I dying?" She whispers.

"N-no, you're not...you're not." I gaze down at her face stroking the hair away from her eyes, she gives me a slight smile shaking her head.

"I know when you're lying Blake Ezekiel Moretti, I'm no stupid fool." She chuckles before coughing, "you know-when I first saw you at the machine I hated your guts-" Every break she took, was interrupted by a cough. I knew how much pain she was in. I knew it but I was being darn selfish for letting her live in it. "You helped me, you helped me through this journey and I will forever be in your debt...gosh Blake I love you, I love-love you so much." I feel my tear leaving my eyes as I shake my head knowing what she has to say next.

"N-no don't say it-don't say it princess I'm not ready-"

"I'm not ready as well, but It's what I need to do...I want you to promise me-"

"No..stop talking about this.." I whisper wanting to change the subject.

"Blake, I want you to promise me that you'll grow up..loving another woman, having beautiful kids-"

"I don't need to, because you'll be there with me..."

"Blake you're in denial, we both know I'm not going to make it...I know it would be hard for you to let go but promise me to not let darkness overtake you...follow the light, follow the star you chose...I will always be by your side..even when you won't know it.." She noted, her hands lifting my own as she leaves soft kisses ignoring the tubes leaving her noses to allow her to breathe. 

"Why didn't I meet you earlier? I'm stupid and I know I may sound weak but I really can't let you go...The bad boy really fell in love with the nerd that has cancer." We both laughed quietly at her stupidity, her hands graze my own before she kisses my lips softly. 

"He really did, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?"

"For giving up..."

"Everyone needs to rest...you deserve a break." 

"I love you Blake."

"I love you princess."

.

.

.

"She's going to be okay Blake." I turn around to see her mother leaning against he frame of the door, her arms were wrapped around her jumper as her tired eyes revealed her emotions. "You know ever since Amira was a child, she was stubborn..gosh if she never had her way, she would show it by being grumpy." I chuckle slightly as she sat down besides me, she held my hand into her own staring at her sleeping daughter.

"One thing I learnt about Amira, is she has never put her trust in someone as much as she did to you. Blake wether you want to hear it or not, you saved Amira..you helped her. She thinks I don't know about the times she snuck out with you, the times of smiles...you made her happy Blake and I am forever in your debt.

You helped my daughter, you helped her not fear death...you helped us..you gave her hope. Something she primly yearned about, you did so many things for her." She sniffles slightly as she wipes the tears away from her eyes. "Ive never seen her smile so much ever since you came into her world."

She engulfed me into a tight hug whispering thank yous into my ears, I allowed myself to fall into her as I feel the tears leaving my eyes. That's when I noticed I haven't eaten, "go eat." she mutters, I look at Amira and back at her mother before nodding my head. Walking towards the cafeteria, I grab myself some yoghurt and water before strolling back. Passing tired faces and the chocolate machine, I stopped in front of it and took out a one dollar note before inserting it inside. I press a few buttons causing the twirler to twirl around.

I chuckle at the memory of the first time I met Amira, 

"You need to stop getting into fight Blake! The school is about to kick you out for your stupid behaviour!" My mother screamed into my ears about the rules of the school and how she hates seeing me like this. I groan loudly removing the nurses hand away from my face before walking out of the room. She acts like she fucking cares about me, she only comes when the hospital or principle calls other wise she is to engrossed with her stupid fucking job.

I noticed a short girl kicking the machine as hard as she could, the swear words that elf the mouth shocked me slightly. Her legs continued kicking the machine as she shake sit thoroughly. "What the actual fuckery?" She says as she continues shaking the machine. "This shit wouldn't come out."

"See that's where you're wrong," I interjected, her head snapped to my direction. Thats when my eyes catch her face. God damn she was beautiful. Her brown hair in soft light curls were plunged into a messy bun. Her eyes were slightly ruined with mascara but she was gorgeous. I noticed her analysing me before she intercepted. 

"I'm never wrong, look It's stuck." I shake my head walking towards the machine, slamming it with my fist the Hershey bar fall down and I raise my eyebrows. Her wide eyes exclaimed the confusion, "But I-I did the same. I kicked the damn thing."

I bent down and took the Hershey bar from the flapper, , "guess there's a time for everything." I muttered ripping open the Hershey bar as I take a bite out of it.

"Hey that was mine!"

"Not any more princess," 

"I'm not a fucking princess-" From that moment, I knew..she was going to be mine.

That's when an idea popped into my head, she hasn't met my family. I needed to show her everything before her last days. I noticed her doctor walking past and immediately stepping in front of him. "How long does she have?" I asked straight away. He paused and looked me in the eyes.

"A month. Probably less." He whispered. 

"We have graduation in a few days. I want to take her, I want her to stay with me. I want her in our home, please discharge her. I dont want her last days to be in a hospital." I replied, the doctor looked around biting the inside of his cheeks. I shrugged my leather jacket taking out my wallet, before the doctor rested his hands on my own.

"Fine. I will discharge her. She deserves to be free. Take care of her Mr Moretti." I smiled, nodding my head as I rushed back to her room. I notice her parents went home to rest and stood in front of her bed as she slowly looked up at me. Her beautiful brown hazel eyes linked with my own. The her smile. Her smile the lights up any room.

"Alright, what's going on in your head?" She shoots out, the book once in her hands thrown onto the side. I pulled the covers of her body and rushed into my duffel bag. I took out my clean shirt and joggers I needed to stay here and threw it at her. I turned around and shut the doors and windows as she gives me a weird look.

"B-Blake-"

"Get changed. Come on princess." She stood up, before coughing. I rushed to her side as she nods her head. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I stood up to quick." I helped her get changed, the minute she finishes she throws me my phone and her hands interlock with my own. I look down at her wrapping her arms around my own. This was my star. This was the light that pulled me out from my dark phase. 

We rushed down the hospital, she runs in front of me and I try catch up with her. We arrive in front of my bike and I watch her standing in front of it. She shoves her helmet down and I do the same as I hand her my leather jacket for protection. She jumps on and I raise an eyebrow. 

"I want to drive, please. You taught me how to..." She pouches her lips and walk towards her, I push a few strands of her hair behind her ears. Looking into her eyes. Amira's eyes weren't like the wet bark on the oaks, but more of the soft brown rings that gave away the age of the few they felled.

 Combined with the gentleness of her features and honeyed skin, she could soothe anyone. It was a skill that came to be more treasured than any other. In those brutal times there was nothing anyone could want more than to be with a natural born nurturing soul; and no-one was better than Amira. I pressed my lips against her, catching her without surprise.

She giggles in our slight kiss as I bite onto her bottom lips asking for some sort of entry. Her hands push me away before pulling me back in. After a few minutes I accepted for her to drive. I sat behind her and prayed to God that she wouldn't kill me. 

Her driving was good. I wasn't going to admit though, I didn't want her stealing my bike all the time. From a short drive we arrived at the beach, she jumps of the bike and the moment she spots the ice cream machine. She runs like a child. I couldn't help but laugh on the fact that she had her helmet on. 

I shook my head and removed the keys. The minute I looked up I see someone I never thought I would see. Without a minute. Anger flared into my mind. My so called family were walking down, "here I got you one. I used the change in your pocket. Sorry." She whispers, I give her a slight smile and see my father staring straight at me. "Is everything alright?" She was about to turn around before I grabbed the ice cream out of her hands. 

"Yeah, everything is fine. Do you want to go down the beach?" She nods her head like a child, I interlocked my hands with hers as we stumble down the sand. She begins telling me how much better she was feeling. I knew she was lying. I was not stupid fool. She was just a shit liar.

Her head rested on my chest. My arms circled around her waist. "So then Belle, Belle used to sneak in by the back door. She was scared to be-"

"Blake?"