I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I WASN'T THERE. I WASN'T THERE. I. WAS. NOT. THERE. That's all I can think of and as I look down at my beautiful baby who I love so much I feel so weak. I could've been there. I could have helped her. I carefully unswaddle her trying not to wake her up. When she doesn't move I lift up her shirt not really caring about her privacy. What I see breaks my heart. Just like the doctor said there carved on her waist and ribcage is a bunch of roses and a caged bird but, what I see next has me shook. Tears over her heart. Just thinking about a knife dragging over her skin just above her heart any deeper and she could've- stop. I shake my head. I don't need to think of what could of happened. I carefully pull down her pants along with her underwear to see a group of scars sloppy and ragged and I knew they are self- inflicted but, why? Seeing faint letter under the scars, I look closer and see 4 words and a name that make me want to throw up.

I could see why she did what she did. I could imagine the shame of having that forcefully carved, not written with a marker you can just clean off but, carved into her skin. I put her clothes back on and re-swaddle her in a blanket before, setting on the couch and running out the door.

I had to tell them. They deserve to know. Our baby has been through things, things that we still don't know fully about. As I drive around like a maniac I open my phone and call both Jared and Dylan.

"Hell-"

"We need to meet up at Jared's house like now."

"Really are you serio-"

"Yes I'm serious so, meet me at Jared's house."

I hang up and pressing my foot down on the gas speeding away to Jared's house.

After 15 minutes I pulled up to Dylan's house and didn't even get to slam the door open because, right before, I was about to knock an angry Jared answered the door. "Why the fuck did you call us here?" I rush pass him and find Dylan on the couch his knee bouncing up and down. "First things first let's calm down I bet he only came here because, Rosaline won't cooperate with him." I seethe but, push down the anger knowing if I snapped at him things would get heated. "Today I took Rose to the mall and when we got back she was asleep so I put her in bed and got her, her favorite dish," I say. "Ok and," urges Jared. "I came back a few minutes late then I intended when there was an accident." "What do you mean 'there was an accident'," asks Dylan. I sigh. "I really don't know what happened it all happened so fast," I explained. "What. The. Fuck. Happened," gritted Jared. I again sigh.

"I heard a crash and Rose's cries so, I ran to where she was only to find her on the floor covered in glass her right hand bloody." Silence. "So she punched the mirror," Jared asks. "Why?" I shrug. "I called the family doctor and while he was checking for any other wounds and found...somethings." Jared jumps off the couch and glares at me. "Will you stop doing that?" I raise a brow. "Doing what?" "Being dramatic and trailing off instead of just telling us what the fuck happened." I chuckle before, turning serious again. "He found some carvings on her rib cage and roses and thought they were tattoos before, realizing they were carvings." Their faces darken. "What," whispers Dylan. "But it wasn't her who did it," I said. Dylan clenches his fist. "What do you mean she didn't do it," asks Jared. I know he knows what I mean but still I say "I mean someone grabbed a knife and carved the designs into her skin unwillngly." I explain. "After he told me that he left and I fed Rose and waited until she was asleep to see any further damage. And...," I trail off. Jared and Dylan both snap. "God dammit Sebastain!" I chuckle. "Sorry I couldn't help it." They sigh and lean back on the couch. "I also saw there was a carving over her heart and-" Jared gasps. "Her heart," he whispers hoarse. "If that person would have went a little deeper..." We all go silent knowing what Jared was about to say. She would be dead. "Also the doctor told me he saw a patch of scars just over he pant line and- Why would he be looking down there in the first place," Dylan interrupts me with a growl. I sigh. "He's a doctor Dylan and doctors are observant. Anyway he said there were scars just above her pants line and I checked it out and saw scars just over the top of her pubic hair. They were self-inflicted," my voice cracks at the end and I clear my throat. "But I could see why because under all those scars I could faintly make out the words goodbye you ugly shut and it was from a person name Sheldon." When I finish the room is filled with silence and I know it's just them taking it in. It was a few minutes later when Jared threw his phone that broke into pieces at it made contact with the wall.

"I've made so many damn calls to get something on her background but, it's like she doesn't really exist," Jared says in frustration. Dylan stand up and grabs his coat before, turning to us. "We need to visit the Barricks."