the two managed to slip out of the apartment without being noticed by their friends. colby held harlow's hand tightly as he led her to the staircase. colby and harlow had been in the staircase many times, each time hoping the door would be ajar or that someone who could let them up would be there, but there was no such luck. so harlow was pretty excited to finally get to the roof, partly because of nostalgia of their times at the house and partly to just be alone with colby.

colby pulled the key out of his back pocket and unlocked the door, "this feels like a big moment for some reason." colby said laughing as he pushed the door open.

harlow laughed nervously in response as she followed colby through the door. harlow instinctively walked over to the half wall of the ledge and leaned against it. "it's weirdly anticlimactic." harlow stated, looking around at the view before her.

"i honestly get what you mean."

harlow pulled out her pack of smokes from her bag, taking one between her lips and lighting it before passing the pack to colby beside her. they smoked in silence, mostly because harlow didn't really know what to say.

so colby decided to break the silence by asking, "so were you surprised?"

this made harlow laugh. "um, i was surprised by the gesture, for sure. but honestly, i could hear y'all when i was walking down the hall." this made colby frown, so harlow decided to add, "i was still surprised though!"

"good."

"you really didn't need to do this for me," she said, holding her smoke between her fingers.

colby looked at the brunette with a smirk. "well i know i didn't need to, but i wanted to." harlow just nodded, taking the smoke back to her lips. her lack of response led colby to continue talking, suddenly unsure of his gesture. "did you not want me to do this?"

she wasn't really sure what to say, because as much as she appreciated what colby was doing for her, harlow would've rathered if it were just her and colby. that way, she would be able to recite her speech without feeling the guilt that was currently sat in the pit of her stomach. how was she supposed to break things off with colby after he just threw a surprise party for her?

so she just shrugged in response, taking one final drag of her smoke before flicking it out.

she peeked a glance at colby, who was staring at her with a mixture of hurt and embarrassment written on his face. "oh. i'm sorry."

harlow felt even more guilty now than she did earlier because her response was hurting the boy that she loved. if only he knew what else was coming.

"don't apologize colbs." harlow said quietly, placing a hand on colby's forearm in an attempt to soften her response.

"why do you not like it? i invited all of our friends and everything." his question was innocent - he just wanted to know what was going on inside of harlow's mind. but harlow wasn't ready to share that.

harlow wanted to shrink into a corner and avoid answering the question indefinitely. "it's complicated." she paused, debating on whether she wanted to expand on it. but there was a group of about twenty people downstairs who were there to celebrate her all because of colby, so it wasn't really the right time. "we'll talk about it later,"

colby shook his head, not moving as harlow lifted her hand off the boy's arm to walk back into the complex. "or we could talk about it now." colby suggested, turning around so that he was facing the girl.

harlow shifted her weight from foot to foot, debating what she should do. "colby, there's people in your apartment right now. i think we should get back."

colby didn't budge. "it's fine. i trust them."

harlow sighed loudly, twisting the rings on her fingers. "ok. fine."

she took a few steps to join the boy, leaning against the wall again. she was internally freaking out, struggling to remember exactly what she wanted to say to him. then harlow made the mistake of glancing up at colby, his blue eyes looking at the girl inquisitively. as soon as she looked into his eyes, she completely forgot her speech. the alcohol in her system didn't help, either.

"ok." he replied.

"um, i was planning on breaking things off between us tonight," harlow could barely hear herself talk, the noise in the street and her heart hammering in her chest drowned out her words.

but colby heard her.

"was?" he asked, clinging onto the word that suggested she was no longer thinking of doing such a thing.

harlow couldn't bear to look at the boy, so she fixated her gaze on her hands instead. "am."

silence hung in the air between the two. harlow felt sick to her stomach over her words, and she couldn't help but wish that she hadn't said anything. it pained her to know that she was hurting the boy that she loved.

"oh."

more silence.

"why?" he finally asked.

harlow wrung her hands nervously before looking up at the boy beside her. there was no emotion on his face at all - but harlow knew colby well enough to read his body language, so she knew when he became fixated on his hands and wouldn't make eye contact with her, that he was upset. angry, even.

understandable.

"i don't want you to think it's because i don't love you. because i do. i love you so much, colby." she thought that this admission would help to soften the blow of what was to come. "but i know that you don't want anything more than what we are now, and i do."

colby crossed his arms. "but we're dating. i don't know what else we could be."

"i want to go on actual real dates with you. like in public, not just staying in every weekend and watching reruns of the office. i want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you whenever i feel like it. i want to be able to show you off to everyone, not just our friends. i want people to know that i love you and that you love me."

"but i do love you."

harlow nodded, "i know. i don't doubt it for a second, colbs."

colby frowned in response, "then why isn't that enough?"

after those words left colby's mouth, harlow felt like one thousand pounds was suddenly sat on her chest. why wasn't it enough? he loved her, and she knew that he meant it with every bone in his body.

so she just shrugged in response. and colby stayed quiet too because even though there were so many things that he wanted to say, he was too shocked at what was happening to get the words from his brain to his mouth.

"colby this has been complicated since we shared our first smoke." harlow said breathily. colby opened his mouth to respond but harlow held up her hand, wanting to continue. "and don't say that we're not. because a month ago kat and i heard you tell sam the same thing."

that took colby by surprise. "what?"

"it was the day you and sam had a ton of meetings, but i guess one of your meetings got rescheduled because you guys were talking about what to say if they asked about me. and you said it's complicated. and that being with me would lose you subscribers."

colby was staring at harlow, and he was clearly frustrated with her words. "okay, yeah. i did say that. but the only reason i did that was because i didn't want you to get all the hate that girls get for associating with me. it was to protect you, harley. not because i don't want people to know."

harlow rolled her eyes at his lame excuse. "well i don't need to be protected, colby. i'm a big girl. i can handle it. and that wasn't the only time you said that! remember that night all the girls got together? well, devyn told me what she heard you say that night."

"what did i say?" colby asked.

"that i would be bad for your brand." harlow made quotations with her fingers as she quoted devyn's words. "and she told me she even asked you about it later and you told her that it was about me!" her voice was raised now, anger building within her.

harlow took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. she didn't want to end things on bad terms, she didn't want to be mad at colby. "fuck. i'm sorry." she said quietly.

colby softened at harlow's apology. suddenly, the pain he was feeling didn't matter, harlow mattered more. he was more worried about the pain harlow was feeling because of him, and he wanted to help fix it. so he crossed the space between them and lifted his arms to hug the brunette.

harlow quickly backed up, holding her hands up in front of her. "if you hug me i'm going to cry."

colby looked at his shoes, hurt at her rejection. "oh. okay."

harlow could hear the hurt in colby's voice as he spoke, and that broke her. "shit." she muttered. with colby still looking at his shoes, harlow took two steps and then wrapped her arms around the boy's neck.

without missing a beat colby wrapped his arms around the girl and buried his face into her neck. they stood like that, tightly hugging and breathing heavily, for a total of four minutes. silence filled the space around them until harlow couldn't contain the sobs any longer and they began to bubble up and over.

colby squeezed her tighter, whispering 'i love you' over and over again in an attempt to reassure the girl that regardless of if they were together or not, he would love her the same.

eventually, harlow regained her ability to breathe normally, so she loosened her grip around colby's neck and pulled back ever so slightly. her eyes were puffy and red, and her mascara was smeared, but colby still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.

so he couldn't help but tell her just that. harlow laughed a little, knowing that she looked anything but beautiful, but accepted colby's compliment regardless.

"right person, wrong time." harlow murmured.

"definitely the right person."

harlow stepped back to put some space between the two. "so i guess i should be going now,"

colby frowned, "but what about the party? everyone's here for you, harley. not me."

"i can't put on a happy face and go back down there, colbs."

colby nodded, agreeing with the girl even though he wanted to do everything in his power to keep her with him for even a little bit longer. "okay."

"alright." harlow rocked back and forth on her feet, not sure what else there was to say, but also not wanting to leave quite yet. "you can tell them tonight if you want. or whatever you want."

"i don't think i can put on a happy face either, so they'll probably find out tonight."

now there was nothing left to say, so harlow turned around and headed for the door. colby stood in his spot, watching the girl he loved walk away from him for good.

"i love you, castee."

harlow paused in the door frame, looking over her shoulder at the blue-haired boy one final time. "i love you too, brock."

and then the door shut behind her and he was alone.

- - -

🥵🥵

HARLEY QUINN 😈, EBENEEZER

SCROOGE 🤠, AVA BABYY 🤪💖,

THE REAL JADA SMITH!,

AND MATTY B RAPS 🎤🥴✨

😈

i did it

it didn't go like i thought it would

are u okay?

🤠

what happened?

😈

he just told me he loved me a lot

but he didn't try to stop it either

🤪💖

but are u okay?

😈

i couldn't stop crying

i feel like there's rocks piled on

top of me and i can't fucking

breathe

i shouldn't be this sad this was

my choice

but it fucking sucks

🎤🥴✨

u love him bubs

it makes sense that ur sad

😈

fuck u and ur cute pet names

matt

ur making me sadder

i need a big hug

if i could get time off work

i would fly down and give u

a hug

😈

i love u j 💜

🤠

i have an idea

🤪💖

i'm listening

🤠

come home h

🎤🥴✨

for once a good idea ebs!

yes come home lovie

we will hug u and eat ice

cream and do all the break

up things

😈

matt stop making me cry with

the fucking names !!!!

i rly wish i could but i can't

afford it

🤪💖

i'll fly u home h

😈

shut up ava

we can all split it?

🤠

i'd split it with y'all

matt r u in?

😈

i'm not

there's no way u guys are

doing that

i love u all but ur not spending

ur money on me

🎤🥴✨

yes!! i can book it now

venmo me girliessss

harlow shut up and let us

show u we love u

😈

i love u guys

i'm crying fuck

i'm gonna hug u all rly

tight ok

🤪💖

heheh i'm excited to see u

🎤🥴✨

harlow would you be ready

to fly out at 2:20?

😈

yes 🥺🥺

🎤🥴✨

ok i'll send u ur boarding pass

in a min

u'll get here at 7:28

🤠

i can pick u up!!

😈

i can't believe y'all

i'm feeling rly soft and rly

sad now

- - -

while harlow was packing herself a bag as quickly as possible so that she could make it to the airport on time, colby was sulking in his bedroom.

he didn't say anything to his friends when he came in without harlow. he just quietly poured himself another drink, chugged it, and then went into his room. he was alone with his thoughts for about five minutes before there was a knock at his door.

"colby? are you alright in there?" tara asked, peering her head in.

colby was sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. "'m alright." he mumbled. "can you please leave?"

tara frowned, but obliged. about a minute later sam popped his head into colby's room, and colby suddenly wished he would have locked his door.

"don't wanna talk, sam."

sam ignored his friend, entering his room and closing the door behind him. "what happened?" sam asked, even though he already had an idea of what colby would say. but he needed it to be confirmed.

"she's gone."

"you two seemed fine though,"

colby laughed, even though the situation wasn't funny at all. "i thought so. she said it was because i wouldn't go public."

sam frowned at this, "dude, why didn't you just agree to go public then?"

colby finally took his face out of his hands, wanting sam to see him roll his eyes. "if i post that i'm dating harley she's going to get so much fucking hate. i'm just trying to protect her."

sam leaned against the door. "it doesn't sound like she wants to be protected though."

colby huffed, annoyed that sam was siding with harlow instead of him. "you sound like harley," colby observed.

"i don't understand it, though. you love her, right?"

colby nodded, "i love her."

"so go public, then! fuck what the fans think."

"well it's a little late now," colby muttered. "we're not together anymore so i can't really make the whole, 'meet my girlfriend' video."

sam rolled his eyes at his friend, "then go get her back, you idiot."

"she wouldn't."

sam threw his hands up in exasperation. "she loves you, colby. if you were willing to do this for her, she would take you back in a heartbeat."

colby hummed in thought. "even if you're right. i can't exactly drive over to her, i had too much to drink and i'd blow over."

"i only had one drink. i could drive you," sam offered.

without hesitation, colby agreed, "let's go."

sam quickly let kat know that he and colby were leaving and that she would now be responsible for watching over colby's place, and then they were in sam's car headed to harlow's apartment.

colby couldn't figure out why he let harlow walk away in the first place. he loved her with all of his heart and if telling his audience that the two were dating would keep her at his side, then he would do that. for her.

the drive over felt like double the time it would normally take because of colby's nervous state. he was bouncing his right leg the entire ride over and kept playing with the rings on his fingers. sam just ignored it. eventually, sam pulled up in front of the building and colby basically flew out of the passenger seat and towards the complex.

he buzzed harlow's apartment at least three times, but there was no answer. either she was sleeping or ignoring it. colby wasn't about to just give up for a second time in one night, though. so he buzzed random apartments until one finally unlocked the door.

he raced up the stairs, skipping up them and down the hallway at record speed. he brought his fist up the door, knocking loudly three times. his heart was beating in his chest and he was sweating profusely from running up the stairs, but colby didn't care. he just wanted harlow back.

"harlow!" colby yelled, knocking on the door again. "i need to talk to you!"

nothing.

"harlow, open the door please. it's really important, i swear."

silence again.

"please don't make me say this through the door, harls." colby begged.

more silence.

"fine" he cleared his throat in preparation for what he was about to say. "i love you, harlow. you've been the only girl on my mind since the minute you walked into our house in october. i never told you, but that night when we met, i had kind of planned the whole thing. i wanted to talk to you so bad and then i saw you sneak out a few times through the night to smoke, so i knew that would be my best bet. i practically begged my friend to lend me his pack of smokes so that i had a reason to talk to you. and it worked somehow. i don't really understand it myself, because you're way too fucking good for me. but i'm selfish and i can't have you leave me now. i love you so fucking much and i was stupid for letting you walk away tonight. i should have chased after you sooner, but i'm here now and i will do whatever i need to to keep you by my side. if telling the fans that we're together is what you need, then i'll do that. i'll fucking make posters and hang them around town and they'll say 'i'm in love with harlow sofia castee' if i have to for fuck's sake." colby paused, "although that would be a little much. but you get the point. whatever i have to do, consider it done."

he waited patiently for harlow to unlock the door and take him back with open arms, but seconds turned into minutes and it was still just silent. seven minutes of silence later colby realized that she wasn't going to unlock the door. she was gone.