Tell me what you want

What you need from me, baby

~

Trigger warnings: anger, prostitution, feelings of guilt, human trafficking, threats, mentions of violence and cruelty, mentions of gang rape, self-hatred, feelings of worthlessness

~

Shouta had a bad feeling when he came back and got a weird look from the bouncer at the door. He still let him in, but it seemed like he was cautious about him now. And when he didn't see Y/N in the main area of the strip club, he was even more concerned. After all he was early and she was usually there. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad had happened.

He looked around and saw the bartender looking at him with guilt written all over her face. She quickly looked down when she saw that he had noticed her. Shouta raised an eyebrow at her and walked up to the counter. She was looking incredibly nervous, as she turned around, pretending to wash the same glass she had been washing for maybe ten minutes already.

"Where is she?" Shouta asked. The bartender girl looked up nervously, glancing around the place.

"Where is who?" she replied, biting her lip. Shouta rolled his eyes and leaned onto the counter.

"You know who I mean. Where is Y/N?" he wanted to know. She sighed and put down the glass.

"I can't let you see her until you've paid for that one time last week. Sorry, but that's the rule the boss gave me. He was really mad when he found out." she told him and gulped. Shouta raised an eyebrow and got out a few notes.

"He got mad? What did he do?" he asked, as he put a few notes down. He didn't mind paying, not at all, but he didn't like the way she had said that their boss was mad when he found out. And with Y/N missing... he really didn't like that. What the hell had he done to her?

"I... I don't think you want details. You can go up and see her. She isn't seeing anyone today, technically, but... well, I think she'd be happy to see you. Please make sure she's okay." the bartender said to him. That didn't make Shouta feel any better about this. Something really, really bad must have happened.

"Why can't you make sure that she's okay?" he wanted to know. The girl just sighed and shook her head.

"It's... it's a difficult story. She really doesn't want to see me. Trust me. She'll be happy to see you, I... I think at least. Oh, and there's another thing." she told him. He gave her a questioning look.

"What is it?" he wanted to know.

"She wanted me to tell you something... I think it makes sense, especially with how much you're here to see her. There is the possibility to buy the girls here. Any girl, if you pay enough. And it's not cheap, I promise you that. But if you want to have her all to yourself... there is a possibility. You'd need to talk to the boss about the price for that. But... it is possible." she told him.

Shouta nodded. Buying her? Like she was some sort of commodity? He didn't like the idea one bit, but on the other hand... what if this was the only way for her to get out of this. Or even worse - what if someone else bought her? Someone that treated her like trash? Even worse than she was being treated here? Damn it. If there was any way to get her out of this place - out of this kind of life - he'd do it.

"Right. I'll think about it. Is she in her room? Can I go up and see her now?" he wanted to know.

"Yes. And... tell her I'm sorry. Even though she might not want to hear it." the girl replied. Shouta nodded.

"I will." he said, before making his way towards the stairs. He already knew his way around this place and he just couldn't wait any longer to see her. He had to know if she was okay... well, she probably wasn't okay, but he had to know just how bad it was. Even if he wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

It seemed to take him ages until he had made it to the narrow and dark staircase, leading up to the girls' rooms. He took a deep breath, before walking up those stairs. Every step felt like it hurt his soul, because he was just so anxious to see Y/N, hold her in his arms, tell her it would all be okay and he'd do his best to get her out of here, no matter what the cost. But on the other hand he was also scared of what he would find. Every time he came here he wasn't sure what he'd find and it was killing him inside. He needed to make sure Y/N was safe.

He gulped when he saw the hallway stretching out in front of him. What if she didn't want to see him? Had he done anything wrong? It... it was his fault that she got in trouble, wasn't it? Damn it... he had asked her if she'd get in trouble, if she was sure. Why did he listen to her? Fuck.

"Hey, loverboy." he heard one of the other girls call out from her door. He glanced over at her and decided to just ignore her. He had no nerve for this. All he wanted was to see Y/N and make sure she was okay. He walked past her without even looking at her and walked up to Y/N's door.

"You're still going to see her? No one told you how broken she is?" the other girl called out to him. Shouta glanced at her. She had a mocking smirk on her face, as she leaned back against her door frame with a scoff.

"Broken?" Shouta asked with his eyebrows raised.

"23. That's how many she had yesterday. And I'm sure they didn't only fuck her once. Could barely walk upstairs afterwards, poor thing. I don't think you'll have any fun with her." she replied.

Shouta wasn't sure what exactly had made him angry or whether it was everything taken together, but he could literally feel his blood boil when she said that. As if that was everything that Y/N was good for. As if she wasn't a person. Why would anyone do this to her? He couldn't understand it. Here he was, killing people for a living, but he couldn't understand how people could be cruel.

It wasn't like he had never seen cruelty before, he had seen more than his fair share. And it was always senseless cruelty. Most of those people didn't deserve it. And yet, here he was. Worried about a stripper. Maybe it was because he had never actually cared this much for anyone before.

"Shut the fuck up and get lost. I can't stand to see your stupid face." he growled, glaring at her, before raising his arm to knock at Y/N's door.

"What if I don't? You're gonna make me? Or are you too soft for that?" she scoffed. Shouta grunted and took off his suit jacket. The holster he was wearing was clearly visible now, just like the two small handguns he was carrying with him. He shot her another glare and was glad that her eyes were wandering to the pistols.

"I might. Now get lost." he replied. She nodded quickly and disappeared in her room. Shouta took a deep breath, before carefully knocking on Y/N's door. He heard some shuffling in the room.

"Go away!" he then heard her muffled voice yelling. He gulped and knocked again. He heard a groan from the other side and then a few steps, that sounded more like she was limping, before the door finally opened just a tiny bit.

"I said go awa-" she repeated, before he saw her eyes widening and the door opening further. She had a few bruises on her face and she looked like she had been crying a lot. What he could see of her body was covered in bruises and thick welts. Damn it, what the hell had they done to her?

"Shouta?" she breathed, before stumbling and almost hitting the ground, if it hadn't been for him catching her. She was shaking in his arms and he could feel her tears on his shoulder. Seeing her like this almost made him cry, too.

"Y/N... Y/N, I got you..." he muttered, before picking her up and kicking the door shut with his foot. He carried her over to the bed and gently put her down. She winced in pain nevertheless. He knelt down in front of the bed, looking up at her and holding her hands gently.

She was looking down at him through the tears in her eyes. Shouta was worried that maybe she wouldn't want him touching her or anything, but she held onto his hands tightly, as if she was scared of him just vanishing into thin air, before she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his.

"Y/N... what happened? Please, Y/N... what happened to you?" he asked, glancing down at the wounds on both her wrists. Y/N was shaking her head and started sobbing loudly. Shouta let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, holding onto her as she cried into his shoulder.

"I didn't... I didn't think anyone would find out... about us..." she sobbed. Shouta got up from the ground and shook his head, tears pricking at his own eyes. He brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and gently caressed her cheek.

"That was such a stupid thing to do... Y/N... Why did you do it? I-I told you I could have paid and I d-didn't want t-to get you into a-any trouble... Why are you so stupid, Y/N?" he asked, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks, before holding her close to him, rocking her gently. She was sobbing into his chest.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." she chanted quietly. Shouta shook his head again and kissed the top of her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't there for you... that I couldn't protect you..." he replied, letting go for her and looking at her. She was still crying and it seemed like no matter what she was in pain. He ran his hands through her hair gently, hoping that he was able to somehow comfort her.

"It's not your fault, Shou... it's not your fault... I don't... I don't know how you can still be here and take care of me... with everything that happened..." she said, as she tentatively reached out to touch his face.

"Why would I not be here and take care of you?" Shouta wanted to know, noting in his mind that he'd have to have a look at her injuries. Some of them looked really bad, especially on her legs and thighs.

"I just... I'd hate myself... I don't know how you don't hate me, Shouta..." Y/N replied, her head hanging low. Shouta put his hand underneath her chin and lifted her head back up again, so she was looking into his eyes. She looked so hurt and defeated... Shouta knew he had to get her out of here. No matter what. He closed the distance between them, his lips on hers, kissing her deeply, before resting his forehead against hers and catching a breath, wiping away her tears.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I love you, Y/N. I meant it when I said it. I really love you." he told her.

"I love you, too, Shouta... I love you, too... but I know I shouldn't be. They made it clear to me last night..." she muttered.

"Ssh, ssh, ssh. It's okay. I'm here for you now. Can I look at your wounds? I want to make sure that you're okay." he replied. Y/N nodded and sat back, wincing in pain, waiting for Shouta to do whatever he wanted to do.

"You look like you're in pain. Do you have any pain killers?" he wanted to know. Y/N shook her head.

"All I have left are three pills. And I figured... I might want to save them... I don't see myself getting out of here to buy something any time soon." she replied, as Shouta bent down over her face, carefully touching the bruises. A few of them made her wince in pain, which meant they were pretty bad. Her lips looked dry and chapped and she kept coughing from time to time. Shouta didn't even want to speculate on what had happened to her. The same went for the bruises around her neck.

He looked down her arms... they mostly seemed to be okay, except for the wounds around her wrists. It looked like she had been bleeding there, because there weren't only bruises around her wrists, but also crusted blood. Shouta gently ran his fingers over the bruises and the cuts.

"Were you tied up? This looks like some rope cut into your skin..." Shouta said and looked up to her. Her head was hanging low and she just nodded, looking like she was embarrassed.

"Y/N, there is no need to be ashamed... please... it's not your fault this happened to you." he said, kissing both her wrists softly. Y/N sighed quietly and he smiled up at her, still holding her hands. He really wanted to cry. Or murder someone for what they did to Y/N. But he knew that he had to smile for her. Because maybe it would make her smile as well and she needed to smile again. Even if it was just for a split second.

He motioned for her to move closer to him, so he could have a look at her back. And there it was, not even for a second, but Shouta could see it. The corners of her mouth curled into a tiny smile, as she moved closer to him, hugging him tightly while he looked down on her back.

He gasped when he saw it. There were thick welts on her back. No bruises, but an assortment of cuts. She had been flogged and whipped until she was bleeding... damn it... Shouta almost couldn't look at it. He really hoped that someone had disinfected those wounds, before they had brought her back up here...

"Y/N... did anyone give you anything for these wounds on your back? Did they get cleaned?" he wanted to know.

"Mmh... I don't know. Probably. Akiko... Akiko put something on it, I think. There was some stinging and... and then she put some cream on it. There should be more in the drawer..." she mumbled, sounding exhausted now. Shouta could imagine she was worn out after all this torture and all the crying she must have done.

"I'm going to put some more on you, okay? Can you lie down on your stomach for me, Y/N?" he asked. She nodded and broke away from him, making herself as comfortable as possible on her bed, while Shouta opened the drawer and quickly found the cream she had mentioned.

His eyes wandered over her thighs and her butt when he looked back at her. They looked much like her back, if not worse. With a sigh, Shouta opened the cream and put some of it on his fingers, before gently working it into her skin over the welts and cuts. She inadvertently winced and whimpered as he touched the wounds, but there was nothing he could do.

"Shou, it hurts..." she mumbled. He leaned down to kiss the back of her head and the nape of her neck softly, breathing in the smell of her hair that he had gotten so used to. Shouta felt overwhelmed with how much he loved this girl.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry. I'll try to be as gentle as I can, okay? But it'll hurt a little. It'll make you feel better in the long run. I promise." he whispered. She whimpered again, but then nodded weakly. Shouta put some more cream on her shoulders and then down her back, trying his best to ignore the little painful whimpers out of her mouth, but every single one felt like a stab in his heart.

"The uh... bartender girl... she mentioned something to me..." Shouta said, trying to talk to her, to maybe distract her from the pain. Y/N lifted her head a little, before wincing again, as he was rubbing over a particularly bad welt.

"What did she say?" she wanted to know. Shouta moved down to her lower back next. There weren't as many cuts. Thank God.

"She mentioned a way to possibly get you out of here. But I'm not sure how much you'd like that..." Shouta answered.

"What way?" Y/N asked, her voice sounding full of hope, almost as if she already knew what he was going to say.

"She said something about me buying you. I'm just not sure if you'd want that." he replied. Y/N sighed, sounding almost happy.

"Shouta, that would be the best thing that could happen to me. If you were willing to buy me, then... why do you think I wouldn't want that?" she wanted to know. Shouta was a little perplexed by how happy she seemed to be with that idea. Why would anyone be happy about being treated like that?

"I wouldn't want you to feel like you're being sold and bought like some object. It's just... I feel kind of uneasy about that entire concept. And when I buy you, then what? Do I own you? What do you do? Where do you go? Can you just leave if I let you go or are there rules?" he explained. Y/N sat up and looked at him with a soft smile, shaking her head and pulling him in close for a kiss.

"I love you so much, Shouta. I love that you want me to feel like a person. But most people don't think of me like that. And they'd have no qualms to buy me. Getting bought by someone is my only way out of here and I'd rather you would do that then someone who wants to torture and finally kill me. Please, Shouta, if... if you really want to and if you can..." she replied. Shouta took her hands in his and nodded.

"Alright then. I'll go and talk to your boss about it. There is nothing I want more than getting you out of here. Now lay back down, so I can finish taking care of you. And then we can nap together, you look exhausted."