《Yearning》20
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Trigger warning: nervousness, language, anger, human trafficking, mentions of homicide, breakdown
~
Shouta was nervously scratching the back of his neck. This was the first time he was sitting in the front of Hizashi's car and he hated it. He wasn't sure whether he hated it, because Hizashi was going on his nerves or whether he hated it because he was so nervous at the same time.
He had gotten the money together much sooner than he would have thought (with Hizashi's help mostly) and they were now on their way to get Y/N out of that place. For good this time. God, Shouta couldn't wait to finally bring her home. Forever, if he could somehow help it. But if it was just for now, he wouldn't be mad either. She just... She deserved so much better than this.
"Well? Are you gonna go and get her or what?" Hizashi asked with a grin on his lips. They had been parked out here for a good five minutes now. Shouta didn't even know what was happening, but he smiled back at Hizashi. He was nervous. He was looking forward to this, but he was also nervous as hell. What if they suddenly changed the price? What if Y/N changed her mind?
"Give me some time. I'm not sure I'm ready yet." Shouta mumbled. Hizashi rolled his eyes and grinned at him.
"Man, if you're not ready now, you'll never be ready. We spent the entire night counting out your money and putting it together, so you could get your girl. Now get her. What are you scared of?" Hizashi wanted to know.
"I don't know! I'm just a little nervous, okay? This feels almost like proposing or some shit." Shouta mumbled. Hizashi grinned even wider.
"A proposal? My, my, I wouldn't have picked you for such a romantic, Shou!" he replied with a snicker. Shouta shot him a glare.
"Don't. Just don't." he grumbled. Hizashi waved whatever he said off.
"Fine, fine. But seriously. It's not like she can say no."
"Yes, I know. Fine. I'll go. Just because you're annoying me so damn much." Shouta said and opened the door. Hizashi seemed happy with him, at least. Maybe being so annoying was his plan to get him to finally go and get it all over with.
"Go, get her, tiger!" he shouted.
"Don't ever call me that again!" Shouta yelled back and gave him the middle finger, without even looking back at him.
Sometimes he really hated Hizashi's ability to make him laugh. Especially when he didn't feel like laughing, because he was so nervous. But well, he had managed to get him out of the car. One step closer to his goal.
Shouta didn't even know why he was this nervous. He had been planning this for weeks, months even. He had no reason to be nervous at all. He knew what he was doing, he knew that Y/N deserved to get out of this place. Finally taking that step just seemed so scary for some reason.
He took another deep breath as he crossed the street and approached the strip club. The neon sign was already glowing, as it had gotten dark already. Shouta knew that they had gotten there kind of late, but it had taken a while to get all the money together and get ready to go. He just hoped that Y/N would be there and not busy and he could see her and get all her things as quickly as possible and take her with him. That couldn't be too much to ask, could it?
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Shouta looked up at the door with the bouncer standing in front of it. It felt kind of strange that this would be the last time he was going to be here, since the only reason he ever came back here was to see Y/N.
He nodded at the bouncer who had a slight smile on his lips, before letting him in. The same terrible music and the annoying lights were there. It was just the same as usual. Shouta couldn't believe that he wouldn't have to say goodbye to Y/N this time. That he'd be able to leave with her.
Some little voice in the back of his head told him that he shouldn't celebrate too quickly - not until it was all done. The money paid and Y/N in his arms. Only then could he be sure that this was real and not some bullshit deal that was too good to be true. Well, maybe too good to be true wasn't the right word for it - after all, he was paying a huge amount for her. But then again, Y/N was worth any amount of money.
He looked around and saw the bartender girl talking to her boss about something. As he let his eyes wander through the main area he didn't see Y/N - but then again she might just be getting ready or doing a lap dance or whatever. Shouta really didn't want to know much about what she did with other men. He didn't mind it, it was her job after all, but unless it was something that upset her and that she needed emotional support for, he didn't need any details.
Something about the atmosphere was different, though. It felt like something was missing. But Shouta chalked that up to the fact that he was here on a mission and not just to see Y/N. He hoped that was it, because otherwise he would have been worried. But now was not the time to worry.
He took another deep breath (it seemed to become a bit of a habit at this point) and approached the bar. Just as he was about to clear his throat, the bartender girl turned around and looked at him, looking shocked for some reason. It was weird because she usually expected him here. Did... Did Y/N get in trouble again? Did anyone do something to her?
"Oh, it's... it's you. What can I do for you today?" she wanted to know, putting on a clearly faked smile. Shouta raised an eyebrow at her. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong and he could feel it. But he didn't want to actually accept it, despite his racing heart.
"You know why I'm here." he just replied, hoping she'd come up with an explanation of any sort.
"She's... she's not here." she told him, looking down at her shoes. Her boss was watching from a safe distance and Shouta shot him a glare. It was his fault all those terrible things had happened to her.
"What do you mean, she's not here? I'm here to get her. Take her home. Buy her. If she's busy I can wait." Shouta said, his heart dropping when every worst case scenario was going through his head. The boss was coming a little closer now, shooting him a strange look. The girl bit her lip and looked away.
"Maybe you should talk to the boss about that..." she replied quietly, before moving aside. Shouta would have been fucking furious, if he wasn't so confused about what the hell was going on. It seemed like everyone knew something he didn't, but no one wanted to tell him anything.
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"What do you want?" Y/N's boss asked him. Shouta grimaced. What kind of fucking game was this guy playing?
"You know exactly why I'm here. Where is she?" he growled. The boss gave him a mocking smirk and shrugged.
"No idea. She's not here anymore. Not my responsibility anymore." he replied. Shouta punched the counter, making the bartender girl wince. A few heads were turning, but Shouta couldn't really care right now.
"I'm here to buy her. Tell me where the fuck she is!"
"You're too late for that. Someone else was faster than you. She's already gone." her boss said with another shrug.
"What the fuck do you mean, she's gone? Give me a fucking clear answer!" he yelled, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him halfway over the counter. What did this asshole mean? He was too late? Someone else already bought here? He thought they had a fucking deal!
"You better fucking lay off. She's gone. Too bad for you, I guess, but someone had the money together earlier than you. I sold her this morning." the boss repeated with a sickening grin on his face.
"Who? Who fucking bought her? Where is she now?" Shouta shouted at him. He just wanted him to lose that stupid fucking grin. He couldn't understand why this man had the nerve to laugh in his face when he felt like breaking down. What had happened hadn't even really made its way into his mind yet, but he was so fucking angry. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening to him.
This one girl, the only woman he had ever truly loved, was gone. The only one he had ever truly cared about. And for what? Because someone else had more money? Was faster at buying her? Fuck. If he'd only know that she was okay... that she wasn't suffering... he just needed to know that she was alright wherever she was. But he doubted anyone had wasted a single thought on that.
"I can't tell you. Trade secrets and such." her boss said.
"Fuck your trade secrets! Where the hell is she?" he shouted, before feeling a tap on his back. He turned around and saw two bouncers standing behind him, arms crossed, ready to take him on, if they needed to. They both were about two meters tall and as wide as high. There was no way he could take on both of them. He turned back to the boss who he was still holding by the collar.
"You better give it up, man. She's gone. Sorry 'bout that, but not much I can do. And unless you'll be happy with one of my other girls I suggest you leave. Because there's nothing else I can tell you." he said. Shouta furrowed his brows and scrunched his nose before letting him go with a little shove.
"I'll fucking find her and I'll kill whoever took her away from me..." he growled, before turning around to leave. He knew there was nothing else he could get out of this guy and he needed some time to realize what actually was happening right now. He bumped into the two bouncers on his way out.
Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Where was she? Was she... was she even still alive? Shouta had no idea how to feel. He was angry, he was sad, he was worried, all at the same time and it was just too much for him right now. He left the strip club and leaned against the wall, burying his face in his hands.
Shouta even dreaded going back into the car. Hizashi was probably watching him right now, seeing him basically break down more or less. After he had warned him. Shouta really wouldn't be able to listen to I told you so right now. No way. He couldn't go back just yet. Why had everything gone so fucking wrong all of a sudden? He didn't understand it. He didn't understand anything anymore.
He was so close to having her. Having her to himself forever. And now she was... gone? Just like that? It made no sense. It made no fucking sense and Shouta hated it. He hated that he was too late. He hated that he didn't know if she was safe. He hated that he didn't know where she was or with who. He hated not knowing if she was okay. He hated that he had failed her like this.
He turned around and punched the wall of the building. Hard. Hard enough for his knuckles to hurt. He didn't really care right now, punching it again. And again. And again. Until he felt blood running down his hand. That snapped him back into reality, at least somewhat. He looked at his bloody knuckles.
And that's when he heard a familiar voice not too far away from him. He was a little confused at first, before he mustered the windows and finally saw her. The bartender. She was sticking her head out of one of the windows, trying to get his attention somehow. Shouta looked at her in disbelief for a second.
"Hey. Hey." she half-whispered, hanging her head out of the window and waving at him. Shouta wasn't quite sure what to do for a while, but then he realized that she probably wasn't supposed to talk to him and might not have much time. And she wouldn't risk this, unless it was important.
He jogged over to her and leaned in closer. She was looking around nervously, before her eyes fell back on him. She looked incredibly guilty for some reason and Shouta wasn't sure what exactly this was about. He knew that she was the one who had snitched on Y/N and him to the boss - Y/N had told him. But she seemed to be willing to help Y/N whenever possible, too... he wasn't quite sure how to feel about her. She didn't seem sure whose side she was on, either.
"What is it?" Shouta wanted to know. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for, maybe some sort of reassurance that Y/N was okay, that she would be fine, anything. But judging by how scared this girl looked... he wasn't too helpful.
"She's not safe. You need to find her, please." she whispered hurriedly. Shouta's eyes widened. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? How would he even find her? It made no sense.
"What...?" he breathed.
"There was a guy... the boss had some sort of deal with him a while back... I sent Y/N in with the drinks, didn't really think much of it, but... they kept her in there... and she wasn't okay after that. The same guy... he was the one who bought her." she told him. Shouta felt overwhelmed. How was he supposed to keep all that in mind? Just thinking of Y/N hurt and made him feel nauseous with worry.
"Who is he? Do you know where she is? Please, I... I need to make sure she's safe." Shouta muttered. The girl nodded.
"I don't know much about him... I have no name or anything. But I know that he's the leader of some gang. Not sure what kind of gang, but I know... I know she's not safe. And I know she loves you very much, so please... please find her." she urged him. Shouta nodded, even though he had no idea what she was saying. Nothing made sense to him, but he hoped he'd keep it in mind for now.
"Why are you helping us?" he wanted to know. She bit her lip and looked around, before leaning in closer.
"She... she looked so scared. When we told her she would be bought, she was excited, because... because she thought it'd be you. And then when I brought her out, there was someone else there. And she looked so scared, but they dragged her off anyway... it was horrible, I hated seeing her like that. And... I feel so bad for getting her in trouble because... because of the two of you, I just... please find her, okay?" she said. Shouta nodded quickly. Whatever she had done... Fuck, he had to trust her. He had nothing else to go on. The girl turned around quickly.
"I have to go now or I'll be in trouble. Please try and find her before it's too late." she told him, before she disappeared behind the window again. Shouta stood there for a while, trying to figure out where he was again, since everything seemed so surreal to him right now. He looked back and saw the car there with Hizashi still waiting for him. Damn it. He needed to find her.
He crossed the street, feeling like he was in some sort of trance. It was all still taking a while to get through to him. Y/N was gone. No one knew where she was. All he knew was that she was bought this morning. And that she wasn't safe. That she was scared. It had something to do with some gang leader. Fuck.
He opened the car door and sat down, absolutely aware of Hizashi's eyes staring at him. Of course, he wanted an explanation. But honestly, Shouta didn't really have one. Not a good one, anyway.
"So?" Hizashi wanted to know.
"So what?"
"Where is she? What's wrong? You look like you had a near-death experience there." Hizashi asked.
"Might as well have had one." Shouta muttered. Hizashi dropped the smile and looked genuinely concerned now.
"What... what happened in there? What's wrong, Shou?"
"She's gone."
"Gone? What do you mean, she's gone?"
Shouta sighed and hid his face behind his hands. There wasn't much to explain, but he still didn't know where to start. How the fuck was he going to tell Hizashi that Y/N was not here anymore and no one knew where the hell she was? That all he knew was that she wasn't safe?
"She's gone. She's not here anymore. Someone else bought her before me and... no one can tell me where she is now. All I know is..."
Shouta stopped talking when he felt his eyes fill up with tears. Fuck. Was he actually going to cry in front of Hizashi? It seemed like he was, because he had no idea what else to do. He felt truly and utterly lost. Y/N was everything he had been working for and now... she was gone.
"What do you know?" Hizashi asked.
"All I know is that she's not safe. And I need to find her." he replied, as he felt a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Hizashi looked completely shocked to see him cry. Shouta would probably be shocked as well, if he saw himself cry.
"Fuck..." Hizashi just muttered. Shouta nodded. That was probably the best way to describe his situation.
"Yeah. Fuck." he said, an empty feeling settling in his chest. Hizashi took a deep breath and started the car.
"Well, seems like it's pretty clear what we're going to do now." he replied. Shouta looked at him, not sure what he was talking about. He didn't even know what he was going to do, how did Hizashi...
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Isn't it obvious? We're going to find her."
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