~Hope

The morning comes as it has every day before today, but the countdown to the end still hangs heavy over the world itself, and soon enough the last day will be upon us. Why wait for it, why bother with anything at all when we’re this close to the end. I know that I’m not the only one thinking this, and it’s the reason why the older people in this town are so happy to throw their lives away, inviting a deadly spirit into their homes.

I get it, throwing your life away to see what shouldn’t be seen, to know what shouldn’t be known. To meet with a spirit that will kill you.

Death isn’t a heavy burden, and it isn’t something to be frightened of. Knowing that we’re all going to die, all the troubles and challenges of life will fade away, it’s comforting. I’d be joining these old fools, if I didn’t need to see my quest to its end first.

Maybe I will come back here and do the same. Maybe I can find some beautiful, restful vista on the mountainside, and see this all ended. Wait for the spirits return and let her in rather than turning her away.

Not everyone wants to see the end of the world.

The frozen old man looks little different from before, like the old lady from yesterday, he died sitting by the fireside with an empty cup of tea in hand. This time, the other cup has been tossed onto the ground, shattered on the stone by the fireplace.

The old man wears a warm smile, contradicting his frozen state. He doesn’t seem to regret his choices, whether he was murdered or not, he’s come to accept his end.

I’m not deaf. When the spirit came knocking on our door, she didn’t sound like some murderous villain. But her intentions aside, there’s no doubt that it’s her frozen aura that’s condemned this man, and the lady before him. No ordinary blizzard could leave a man frozen like this, only magic can do this.

Flames in the fireplace no longer dance in the fireplace, but the red coals somehow still radiate a low heat. Dark shadows flicker about in the back, drawing the frozen gaze of the old man sitting dead before us.

“Let’s go back to the tavern.” Fate says, pulling me by the arm. A night’s rest has helped me recover from my fall, and it wasn’t anything really so bad in the first place, but it has made me question myself.

This town might be covered in freezing snows, but it is still spring, and I think the season has affected me. I’ve let myself get distracted by Fate, by some silly attempt at romance. This close to the end there’s no point in it, but I guess there’s no point in running away from it either.

My long sigh forms a white cloud before my face, and Fate looks curiously up at me.

“What is it?” She asks, smiling happily as if she never saw the corpse of the man we left behind.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I ask. A good number of the townspeople have gathered to the house, some arguing, and others mourning. There’s a heavy chill in the air, and the blizzard isn’t the cause.

People are worried.

“Did you see his smile?” Fate asks, shaking her head sadly. “He was happy in the end. So maybe he enjoyed his time with the spirit.”

“I’m sure he did.” I say, nodding slowly. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m jealous of the man, but I know it’s not something that I should say aloud. The chill in the air feels comforting, if a little too nostalgic.

“No.” Fate says, pausing and looking up at me. “This isn’t… No, you are not meeting that spirit. You agreed to come with me, and you’ve still got that thing you wanted to do.”

“I know.” I say, staring back up into the clear sky. “This isn’t the place. The cold snow and the mountains, it’s too much like home.”

The storm clouds hang over of us. The spirit and the blizzard have returned to the mountain, but the dark clouds are smaller than yesterdays, the storm is dying.

~Fate

Hope is being stupid.

She doesn’t think I notice, but I do.

It’s not about the spirit but the death that she brings with her. It’s not difficult to see the darkness that Hope carries around with her in every step that she takes, in that bag she carries everywhere, and in every glance she sends up towards the gods in the sky.

She wants to die.

I don’t know what happened to her, in her past, but somewhere along the way she lost her own namesake. She lost hope.

It hurts to see her like this, the coldness in her expression and her resignation. It hurts to see anyone like this, but it hurts especially with Hope.

Still, the world isn’t just made up of darkness and horrible things. There’s so much happiness to be found here, and I refuse to let go of it. I won’t let go of my hope.

There’s no point in saving the world if I don’t save the people that make it what it is. I’ll show Hope that life is still worth living. There’s still so much for us to see and to do before we grow old and weary.

“Hope, isn’t there anything you wanted to do?” I ask, “A list, like everyone here is talking about. Something other than that quest of yours.”

“This again? No.” She replies, shaking her head. “This is enough for me.”

“It’s not.” I reply lightly, looking up at her, “Don’t you want to have fun? What about dancing?”

“You wouldn’t know the styles I was taught in.”

“Do you want to learn to play an instrument? Try climbing a mountain? Dig up the ancient ruins with me?” I ask, trying to find something that makes her at least twitch a brow. “Visit strange cities? Battle the worlds greatest warriors? Drink tea with a queen?

“Try the world’s best food?” She blinks and looks up towards the sky. I grab her hand and she twitches in my grasp.

That’s the one.

“We’ll be visiting a city on my planned route to the ruins that I’m investigating.” I say. “They’ll have all sorts of things to eat. The street food can be amazing, but I’m sure they’ll have some rich restaurants we can visit too.”

“I’m fine.” She says, letting out another long sigh and burying her desires again. She’s been ‘fine’ with anything that I can feed her so far, but it seems she’s been hiding her true desires from me. Which, now that I think about it, she hasn’t really ever tried to get anything for herself.

She hasn’t so much as asked for an extra biscuit over dinner, and she’s not asked for anything from me besides enough food to get by on. She doesn’t even compete for the blanket of a night, and I have to make sure she’s not freezing herself.

“What do you like to eat?” I ask, as we step into the warmth of the tavern.

“Anything’s fine.” She replies, slumping into a chair and laying her face down onto her arms.

“Is there nothing that-”

“Tea. It’s been a while since I’ve had any nice tea.” She says, shuffling around and looking away from me. There’s a group of old people in here making a fuss around the fire, there’s a new spring to their steps as if they’ve rediscovered their youths again.

I guess it’s impossible for them to do anything as ridiculous as climbing a mountain, but now they can do something completely reckless from the comfort of their own homes. They can explore what the world still has to offer, even though it’s killing them.

“Why?” Missy asks, settling in at our table. “Why are they all so happy? So excited? This is just so awful.”

“Is it?” Hope asks, her voice muffled by her arms as she shifts her face up a little. “We’re all going to die, is it really so bad that they want to go a little ahead of you?”

“Life is… it’s precious.” Missy says, staring down at the table before her. “We should be celebrating life and fighting against death. Trying to give everyone a chance to live.”

“Living is better than dying.” I say, nodding my agreement. She startles and looks up at me.

“Is it?” She asks, her voice weak. “Even… even if it’s only for a few months? Is it selfish to want them to live?”

“Not at all.” I reply. “It’s not right to be worrying so much about the end of the world, it’s making everyone confused. Would they all be so happy to give up their last year if they knew they could still live for a dozen more.”

“That’s a stretch.” Snorts Freddy, the old man we spoke with before, as he settles down with us. “At our age, death is a blessing. No more of those back pains-“

“Knee pains.” Another old man adds.

“Hip pains.” An older lady says.

“We can give it all up.” He says. “Death isn’t so bad. Which is why we’re wanting to stay here tonight, see if the spirit doesn’t want to come visit the tavern with all of us here.”

“You can’t!” Missy shouts, her hands trembling.

“Now, now. Calm it down young lady.” Freddy says, leaning in. “I’ve lived long enough, but I ain’t never met a spirit before. I want to do something special before I go to that perfect world in the lovers hearts.”

“But-!”

“No buts.” He says firmly. “It’s on our lists. This is what we want to do. Isn’t that what this is all about? Enjoying ourselves this last year, and doing everything we couldn’t before?”

Missy looks on the verge of tears as she glares down at her hands.

“It’s not fair…” She whispers.

“Well, I think that Sanguine and Cerulean have been waiting to meet for long enough already. There’s no point making them wait any more even if we could. It’s time to accept it.”

“The gods can fuck off!” Missy shouts, thrusting her chair out behind her and standing tall. The tears shine in her eyes. “Sanguine and Cerulean can stay lonely, just leave us alone! I don’t want… I want…”

Her hands trembling, she shakes her head and stomps out of the room. Jake catches her at the door, but she pushes right past him.

“Poor girl.” Freddy says, frowning at the sight of the still rocking door. “Born too late to live a proper life.”

The rest of the younger crowd has come back to the tavern, and much like Missy, they fuss about with the older people. An argument quickly rises to life as the younger members of the community try to talk the older ones out of their plan to meet with the spirit.

“I want to meet the spirit too!” A younger boy shouts. The kid that got the chance to be an adult for a day.

“You’ve still got a long list to get through first, kid.” Freddy says, messing with his hair. “Only people who have finished their list can join us.”

The kid grumbles, but he doesn’t argue about it, he doesn’t get the chance to, not when his parents snatch him by the wrist and pull him out of the tavern. More and more people follow after them, tired of the arguments.

“Let’s go check on Missy.” I say, pulling Hope up and out the door. Even with all the yelling, it’s not as if everything has turned awful. The older folks just want to meet this spirit, and the younger people want to protect them from it.

~Hope

They yell and shout, but nobody listens to each other. The older people are caught up in their own interests, while the younger people are angry and frustrated, wanting to save their family and friends.

No one wants to see their family die, but sometimes death isn’t so bad.

Back at the inn, Missy and Jake are arguing. I’m not sure what they’re even shouting about, but they don’t stop, not even by the time that night falls again. Fate puts together some of the food from storage for us, and finally the pair calm down.

“Why is the world like this?” Missy asks, staring into the fires as she hugs her legs.

I have no answer for her. I’ve asked that question myself a number of times, and the only answer I’ve ever gotten is silence. The same answer I give her now.

“Here.” Fate says, handing me a small cup of tea alongside the slightly charred slices of ham she pilfered out of the storage.

“Thank you. Where did you find it?” I ask.

“Under the table. For some reason it wasn’t with the rest of the food.” She says shaking her head. “There’s more in the teapot if you like it.”

“Thank you.” I say, taking a sip.

The tea is wonderfully hot, and burns my tongue a little, but even so it’s surprisingly sweet. If the ham were honeyed, then this would make for a perfect little meal.

“Maybe they’re right.” Missy says, her mouth twitching downwards as her eyes water. She looks as if she’s on the edge of bawling her eyes out. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let it end here.”

“Missy?” Fate asks, leaning towards the girl.

“I wouldn’t have to choose whether or not to… I wouldn’t…” She stands up.

“Missy?”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She says, walking into the backrooms.

“Do you think she’s going to be okay?” Fate asks, pulling nervously at my hand. I’m not sure when she took my hand into hers.

“No.” I reply. “None of us are going to be alright, and I think she’s coming to realize it.”

“I… I’ll go check on her.” Fate says, standing and chasing after the girl.

I set aside the ham, as hungry as I am, and as pleasant as it smells, my stomach isn’t playing nice with me tonight. The tea at least is still nice. It’s sweeter than most I used to drink, but it doesn’t taste like it’s filled with sugar.

I pour another cup from the teapot as Fate comes rushing into the room.

“She’s gone!” Fate shouts, “Jake! Jake! Missy’s gone!”

“What?” The young man comes racing down from his room. “Where is she?!”

“The tavern, I think.” Fate says, and it’s enough to send the young man running out into the thick storm.

The weather is still raging outside, but there’s no hesitation. Not from Jake, and not from Fate who pulls me along after him. Even through the thick falling snow, the light pours out from the gaps in the windows, and under the door of the tavern.

I protect my cup of tea from the snow, and tread after her, clutching my bag close.

I have to survive this today. I still have something to finish.