《Number Of Virtues》chapter 2 - Altered Paths (2)
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Or rather “Mark” began to disappear. There was nothing wrong with his “soul”, with his “I”, but everything that was '”Mark” – his memories, experiences, knowledge and skills, was to be burned without trace.
What he feel first was fear, or rather its shadow, a mere reflection, as it seemed that real fear did not have access to this place. It was burned first, in mere moment, and then there was only pace remaining.
And it was within this pace where, with greatest astonishment in his existence, he comprehended that there was nothing wrong with what was happening. That this was… proper, even if this meant that he will lose everything that differentiate him from others…
No, wrong.
There was not even that. It was not like he will suddenly become one of the countless identical beings. There was more than that. He knew, he KNEW, that he would still be himself, unique in a way that only conscious being could be. Even if he did not understood how, even if this was illogical, there was such a confidence in him… that there is something more.
Sometimes, there are moments in people life that just could not be described. Moments that are impossible to spoke of, to close into any form, less they lose what made them so special.
The feeling of the sanctum, something sacred. This was what Mark experienced.
Life starts.
Continue.
And ends.
Al life.
Endlessly.
And yet…
THERE IS SOMETHING MORE!
And let's leave descriptions here. Anything more would be an insult.
In the future being known once as Mark, would return in his thought to this moment many times, in many moments of his life. And yet no mater how powerful he will become, how many secrets he will get to know, or how far his sight will reach, he will inevitably think about this very moment as a both, tuning point and the real beginning.
Because right in the middle of his vanishing, in this moment of euphoric enlightening something very deep in him shifted.
The feeling was… like putting last of ten thousands pieces of puzzle, like a millions, billions of parts belonging to machine complicated beyond any understanding, could finally work together in perfect harmony thanks to a single last cogwheel finally put in its place.
Even if Mark did not understand what was going on, nor why, or how, but he could tell two things.
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First something very wonderful happened. Something that filled his heart with joy, and delight beyond anything that he ever felt. Beyond anything that he thought possible to feel.
Second he now had a choice to stop vanishing.
No this was also more complicated… It wasn’t like he didn’t have such a possibility earlier, it was the very act of deciding that was now possible to him… like the books in the library that are allowed to read for everyone, and yet you can't use them if you don’t know how to read.
By short moment Mark was tempted to not make use of this new possibility. Such alluring was comfort of forgetting, of being purified, that even eternally curious student found it hard to reject this gift. Yet ultimately, curiosity won and flames backed of with haste. They did not vanish though, endlessly patient in their infinite eternal existence. Their presence making Mark realize that this was not a one-time decision, but rather something that he could revoke at any given moment. As long as he stayed at this place at least.
The Flames backed further and blackened a little. Newly freed space reformed itself into shape that Mark found far more familiar. A stone pavement and road made from asphalt appeared under his foots… because yes in an instant and without any warning he seemed to have a body again…
This place truly seemed more and more inconsistent, and crazy, and fascinating… yes that too.
Creation of… environment that Mark supposed was next… stage of whatever was happening, ended as abruptly as it started. Former student looked around with his newly regained body, only to see that he was… on the bus stop.Yes certainly, as much as it sounded like madness, he was indeed at a very normal bus stop.It was not even in the city. As far as he could see, it was only this small building a single road and green meadows that seemed to stretch upon the horizon itself.Truly someone could think that it was just real world, that somehow he had managed to return from the dead… if not for the complete lack of the sky.
Indeed right to the line of the horizon everything seemed normal, green and bright like in the middle of day. But right above it everything went black.Sky was far darker than even during night, without any visible celestial body. The only shining thing was thin ring of familiar orange and gold Fire, constantly burning with its calming light, seemingly surrounding entirety of this new place.
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Mark stood here passively, right beside the road. Was he supposed to just wait here, until something will arrive to pick him up? This seemed so…cliché. But somehow he knew that this was exactly what he should do and…well let's say that messing with primordial powers of life and death didn’t seemed to sound anywhere as funny when it was your soul at the stake.
Besides whoever planned this entire place played quite fair, at least from what young man have seen up to this point. With safety and even gentleness being top priorities, or so Mark thought.
There wasn’t any way to measure time here, yet Mark felt that it was probably around half an hour before indeed despite how ridiculous it seemed, a bus arrived. It was actually quite plain in Mark opinion, toned green and blue in color and rather small. Well, he was going to be the only passenger anyway.
Or so he thought.
And oh, boy was not it a surprise?
***
“So I suppose I’m dead now, huh?”
“Certainly”
This was definitely one of the weirdest beginnings of a dialogue in Mark life, but this was definitely something he was set dead on to confirm.
No pun intended.
And yet he was here now, sitting in comfort in Yes! Let's say this clearly again - a bus. Or maybe this was The Bus – Some kind of metaphor of a Journey or something… Whichever deity was responsible for it He or She – definitely lacked imagination.
He tried to look outside, through the window on his left side, but could see only darkness, with the faint orange glow in the horizon. Indeed environment, that was earlier as bright as during midday (despite lack of any real source of light) changed itself into a night time in moment when bus started to ride.
Without a driver just so you know.
Anyway thankfully it was not the unpleasant kind of darkness, but rather a calming one. He always liked riding at night especially as a passenger. There was something pleasant, nearly hypnotizing in silent voice of an engine and slow, delicate swinging of a vehicle. Some of his best memories consisted on sitting like this.
Mark shook his head, to broke from unnecessary thoughts and focused on the only passenger here besides of him. the Girl was more or less his age, maybe a little younger? Or at last she looked like this. She was beautiful with her brown hair and slightly tanned skin, though rather in cute than gorgeous way. Her face was… expressionless perhaps even bored. Fact that make Mark thankful for her not forcing conversation during last few minutes. Giving him time to calm himself.
Because maybe the truth of an existence of the after life was reassuring, but after being welcome in the after life by endless sea of fire, even he needed a moment to get a hold of himself.
“but analyzing THIS memory is something better left for another time. Assuming that there will be another time for me. “ Thus his thought returned to the girl. Mark read more than enough stories during his life to not suspect at least who she might be and yet…
“You don’t really look like a god, no offense intended.” ah, he was not to rude right?
“Non, taken” Girl voice was lively and very… earthly, not suitable even to her expressionless face, and even less to some kind of highly supernatural origin. “and when there is nearly infinite number of meanings by which a word “god” can be understand, I would certainly no suit most of them. No doubt I am nor the “creator of existence” nor “omniscient, omnipotent being.” And no, I don’t know if someone like that exists, and I’m also not serving as any kind of administrator of reincarnation process. ”
While not unexpected for Mark this response was… disappointing.
“… So no Great Mystery of the Universe or Meaning Of Life from you?” Mark decided to spoke after short moment of silence.
“I’m very sorry-“ To his great surprise girl bowed deeply in the gesture of apology.
“N- no it is fine rell-“
“-but this information is classified”
“YOU MEAN YOU KNOW?!“
“That was a joke.“
Mark was left speechless for a moment. “So or really bored, or just weird” he thought.
“Did you feel better now?“
“or maybe just considerate” Ex-student punched himself mentally for being judgmental.
Besides she was actually right, it was amazing how much few peaceful sentences and one moderately competent joke could help in stabilizing his mental state.
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