It had to been mid morning the grey skies shone a small amount of light through the arched window in our room. The air felt stale, old as if in that room we were inside an old relic lost to time. This house with it's wooden floors, wallpaper and high arched windows seemed like a historical home. We lay there asleep through the early hours of morning.

Last night Alex seemed off saying he wasn't sure if he could go through with the hurt from years of words left unsaid. He seemed as though having seen his father passed away before his eyes that he was still in disbelief in the whole situation.

Alex awoke with a start, his body shaking. His eyes snapped open slowly they adjusted focusing on the room. His body felt damp with cool sweat. His face felt moist, moisture sat on his cheeks in the corners of his eyes. He turned over to move the soft pillow his head rest against. He was suddenly stricken with confusion as his fingers touched several drying wet spots where his head lay previously.

His movements woke me from sleep. I sat up right wiping foggy sleep from my droopy heavy eyelids. I noticed his face was shinning in the light, the light was reflecting off tears on his cheeks. He had been crying in his sleep. He looked at me with a stark appearance of sadness in his eyes. He asked

"Where are we ?"

He held back tears. Taking Alex's hand within mind I assured him he was somewhere familiar saying

"We are at home your mums home in Scotland."

I placed my hand on his face smoothing over one of the tracks left by tears on his face.

"You were crying in your sleep"

I said my voice was calm. He looked at me he was puzzled, his mouth trembled at the corners pointing down

" I do not ."

Alex stammered. Placing my hands on his shoulders I forced myself to be as focused as I could despite sleep creeping back up on in my eyelids. I said

"You, your father passed away last night."

Alex's eyes left my gaze. His eyes glazed over he was going someplace in his mind. He breathing out one word: " no"

My ears strained to hear the word but the word was so quiet I could barely hear it. He whispered again

"No it was a dream, that is not true"

Alex's brows furrowed his eyes turned back to mine. He said firm despite teardrops forming in the corners of his eyes

"That can't be ."

His whole face reflected depth of sorrow he had been avoiding all these months. He pulled himself into a sitting position his back to me his feet planted on the floor. He spoke quietly saying

"This cannot be happening"

He faced forward transfixed on the antique wallpaper it's golden threads glimmering in the light of the room. Then he whispered that word again

"No" he repeated it

" no.." his voice become louder

" NO."

He gritted his teeth grimacing in pain from heart ache. He turned to stare at me. His eyes full of anger and sorrow.

Down the hall we heard his mum say

" Alex is that you ? Are you awake?"

I called back through the wall hoping she would hear my voice

"It's all right, we will be downstairs in a few minutes."

I pushed off the scratchy well-made quilt off myself. I crawled over to David embracing him. My night clothes hung off me while I held him in a comforting embrace. I wanted to will him to heal and feel better. He looked blankly into my face. I knew I could not be frustrated and he is denial his father's death despite having flown all this way to say goodbye. I had far too much compassion for him I wanted to clear away all the hurt anguish and torment that this situation has brought upon him. I placed my hand on his weaving my fingers into his. He looked at my hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Well let's get a move on then" he said sighing.

2 weeks on

On a sunny morning David's mum suggested Alex and I go to town to show me the quaint places in town even the tourist attractions. Up to this time Alex was dressed in onyx black button down dress shirt with a charcoal and grey mottled tie. I wore a ankle length obsidian grey one piece. This has been my first time in the United Kingdom at the suggested idea put fourth from his mum Alex had thought of a better idea. We drove to Leven Beach rolling luscious green hills were the drop. We walked past people on a morning stroll. Dogs chased each other while their owners stood not to far watching them mingle about the sand. We watched the low tide ebb and flows onto the land. We walked a long distance to the shore line. The deep grey murky oceanic waves roll on top of of the sea gaining momentum in their stride as they rise higher and higher until they have no choice but to collapse into one another folding into themselves. Alex grabs my hand pulling me close to him wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I embrace him my arms around his waist. I rest my head against his chest he rests his chin on forehead. We stand there silence between us aside from the ocean current waves lapping against the damp sand along the shore line. I turn my face into his chest and kiss his neck. He sighed leaning his forehead against mine. The tip of his nose touched my cheek as he leaned his face towards mine. His left hand migrated down my back. He paused resting both his hands on my hips. He tilted his head smirking

He said pulling me closer to him holding me tight against him in an embrace. His fingers danced in a caress along my jawline. My hands rested on his chest.

I pulled him by his tie bringing him close to me. I smiled then looked at the water in the distance. Bending down I took my shoes off.

"Come on! "

I said running to the waters edge

"Hey no fair

My ankles now deep in water I beckoned him closer finally when he was close enough I skimmed my fingers along the water splashing at him. He put his hands up to guard his face shouting

" You did not!"

Alex splashed me back then, submerging his full hand in the disappearing waves coming to the shore, he wiped his wet hand on my face laughing as he did so.

"Oh! No you didn't .. I'll get you !!"

I shouted at him lunging at him now, he bent down again as he did I jumped on his back. The contact of my body against his made the both of us fall into the water.

"Why'd you go do that for ."

He eyes were wide, small creases in his forehead slightly visible between clumps of now dampened hair shock spread across his face.

"You asked for it"

I said accusingly yet playful in tone. Later that night back at home we sit against the sofa on the floor. My back against his chest. He sat half cross legged his one leg curled its self around mine. We sat in silence his chin rest on my shoulder. My head rested against his. He broke the silence asking

"How does somebody truly heal from grief knowing that an image of our loved one we hold in our mind fades as the years go on. If only the image as well as the profound positive memories could be etched into the back of our mind for an eternity so they could never alter, never fade so we could have them stay with us forever because the pain of them not being there physically would possibly be easier. holding them there visually in the back of your mind because fading memories feels like forgetting."

I responded the best way I could by saying

"It takes time to heal. Be patent. I know you fear forgetting him, that one day you may forget his voice, his wisdom, his love, his compassion, and maybe his face. Even though he's gone from this world physically know in your heart always that he will live on each day in the very things you do. The words you speak, the actions you make. Living out his wisdom is letting him live on. Remembering your father and not only holding on to what he's taught you in wisdom and love but, living out what he taught you through your actions, Passing on the wisdom from him makes his memory and him live on forever. In the end he is but a story of a man who had a fantastic story, ultimately living a fantastic life. "