Our tale begins with a young ranch boy lazing about just killing time...

"Ehehehe~" I chuckle to myself in the hay. I'd just finally succeeded in one of my life goals. That is, I managed to dive from the ledge jutting out at the top of the old barn into a cart of hay. And it was awesome!! I felt like an assassin, not sure why though, I mean why would an assassin jump into a pile of hay? Its not like people wouldn't notice an entire person falling from the sky. Well, maybe if they were really small or if they were using some sort of cool magical power... Speaking of which the harvest festival is coming up, maybe I can meet a mage there and they'll teach me the arcane mysteries!

If I could convince a mage I had the talent I could become his apprentice and that opens so many doors. And its waaaaaay better than this ranch life. I mean seriously, no one wants to look after nor clean up for, the animals we raise here. We raise giant moths called Behemoths which just happen to be useful, I mean what other animal exists which has wings it can't fly with but fortunately is the perfect location to grow cheese and are protected by all the cheese lovers in the world. And the variant of the species we grow on our ranch also produces milk (in exchange for a couple of extra lakes worth of crap). I don't even know why they decided to name the mutated bastards Cream Behemoths; I mean they are as blue as a cloudless sky!

Anyway my point is, if I could become an apprentice, I can work up to being a mage and then once I understand my powers I have the option to join up with one of the local militia groups or if I'm good enough maybe join the army or guards. Then I just work my way up and get my name known and next thing you know I'm a fully fledge master of the arcane with countless spells at my disposal crushing armies and conquering the hearts of women throughout the land. Not to mention the sweet reservoirs of gold mages are known to earn.

But first, I need to something to amaze a mage enough for him to consider feeding me, let alone teaching me magecraft.

Hopping out of the cart I dust myself off and grab my flask I placed nearby prior to my aerobics. Taking a swig of it I put it back onto its place on my belt and prepare to practice my magic. I enter my mage pose; elbows tight at my sides with my forearm outstretched to the skies, knees slightly bent and breathe steady. Focusing on my core I attempt to draw in the energies of the world as I begin to chant.

"Da mihi virtutem..." I plead to the mana in the air around me.

"Ego enim infirmi..." I ask to lend its strength.

"Da mihi virtutem..." I plead once more. For good measure of course, not because I thought it wouldn't work.

"Ego quaerere imperium!" I scream as I release the energy that had built up within me.

The air before me grew dense as arcane powers worked their magic beginning to form something from the pieces of energy which dwell within us all. Bit by bit, little motes of light came together and an object began to take shape. Drained from my first attempt at magic and amazed the random chant worked, I simply watched this marvel only a power like magic could achieve.

Maybe I was gifted a genius!! In the future the peasants would cheer my name through the streets 'Our Super Amazing Magic Emperor of the World Proh Logg' as I bestowed gifts of magic upon their mortal souls as I reigned as Supreme Leader of the whole world. Entire continents would kneel before me at the flick of my wrist; wary of both my power and wrath!

...Oh it looks like it's almost finished.

Stepping forward I put out my hand to catch the object that had been steadily made whilst suspended in the air, wouldn't want to dirty my soon-to-be artifact of legend now would I? The lights slowly began to fade allowing the solid behind it to come into being. "Now I think about it this has taken quite a while hasn't it, it must have some truly terrible power mwaha-" suddenly the object drops into my hand.

*plop*

"What the h-"

*crunch*

Before I have a chance to identify the rather fluffy creature I gave life to further my head is struck and I feel a wet trickle begin to flow from it. The world around me grows dark but not before a second blow strikes me once more, ending my life and my dreams of becoming the Super Amazing Magic Emperor of the World... which come to think of it, the name was a bit long.