Alright, now that you have friends who can protect you from danger, it’s time to set up camp. Now, I’m just warning you: You CAN wander around from place to place. It's really your choice. But if you do, your chances of getting eaten will go by… 10 billion percent. Just a thought.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, finding a good base. Since it’s the apocalypse, I’d suggest lowering your expectations. A lot. I learned this the hard way after deciding to follow Ashton. Remember when I told you how he was taking me to a safe house? We got there after about 15 minutes of walking, and...yeah. “House” is a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, I obviously wasn’t expecting a mansion, cause y’know, apocalypse. But the place was a total dump.

First of all, the safehouse was about the size of a hobbit house. Well, if hobbit houses have the aesthetic of an actual house. There wasn’t even a door, with a shower curtain being placed in its stead. “Um... Where’s the door?”

“Didn’t find one. The shower curtain works just fine.” Ashton was just so normal about the whole thing. I trust him, but a shower curtain isn’t the most effective way to keep zombies out of your hideout. But hey, maybe it won’t be too bad. After all, the walls were steel. That’s good, right? The inside is probably really nice and cozy. Only one way to find out. However, once the shower curtain door was pulled open, the mild optimism I had was immediately countered with the smell of oil and rotten meat. Gross. And if you thought how I described the outside was bad, it’s the least of the safehouse’s problems.

Because of the small size, the house consisted of only one room. And that one room was about the size of a living room in a New York apartment. A bunch of boxes was clustered at the back. Some of them were crushed under the weight of others. The bunk bed near it didn’t have sheets on the mattresses. But that’s not the worst part. As soon as I turned on the light, rats scattered around and hid in various crevices of the room. So gross. I let out a small shriek before backing up against the wall. Omg, I’m dead and this is hell.

“This is it?” I responded, trying my hardest not to scream. Is this a joke? Does Ashton actually live in this trash?

“Yeah. It’s a little cramped, but it’ll do.” He shrugged again as he went in. A little cramped? A little? This guy’s obviously never seen a Hollywood mansion in his life. I was really close to ranting my frustration. But I realized I need to calm down. I didn’t want Ashton to think I was spoiled. Which, I’m not. I think. So I took a deep breath and put on my most normal fake smile.

“Well, I think it looks great.” I added a thumbs up for good measure. Perfect for conveying approval. Ashton chuckled a little bit and started rummaging through the boxes. Good, he bought it. I leaned back against the wall, content with my improved people skills. A little tip, if you're trying to please someone with fake happiness, don’t sound too fake, otherwise it’ll just make your feelings even more clear. But hey, even if I did sound too fake. I don’t think Ashton’s a people person, he probably wouldn’t notice. Come to think of it, I could probably teach him how to fake a smile. Then I’ll be even more useful. Perfect. I’m so cool.

“Dude stop. You sound really weird.” My inner monologue was suddenly interrupted by one of Ashton’s quips. But this time, his voice sounded more aggressive. “I know you hate it.” Shocked, I was silent for a moment. How’d he know? Maybe I was wrong about him. Whatever, I didn’t know how he saw through my fakeness, but all I could think of at that moment was.. ‘Crap. Time to backtrack.’

“What?” I said before bursting out laughing. I don’t care if he thinks I’m crazy, “The hell are you talking about? I don’t hate it. It's just... how do I put it?... Really cluttered. Like seriously, you should clean this place up a bit. It’s a mess.” As soon as I said the last part, Ashton then turned around and scowled. His eyes were cold as ice. I froze. That’s when I realized I said the wrong thing. Can’t backtrack now. Ashton then walked over and leaned toward my face. We were now inches away from each other, and his eyes were staring into my soul. But then, what he said next, sent chills down my spine.

“You’re welcome to leave. Though if you do, don’t expect to last very long.” Now looking back, and can kinda laugh about it, cause Ashton was being super edgy. But at the time, holy crap. That scared me more than the zombies that attacked me earlier. My reaction I can only describe as me spewing out every apology in existence. Make fun of me all you want, I just didn’t want him to kill me. Luckily, once I calmed down, Ashton shrugged and backed away. “That’s what I thought.” he chuckled a little bit and went back to examining the boxes. God, he’s so weird. Even if he did save me. Ashton dug through the boxes some more before pulling out a pistol from one of them. “ Alright, I’m gonna go zombie hunting.” Wait, did I just hear zombie hunting? Oh my god, this guy’s awesome again. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“Wow, cool! I’m gonna go grab something! Let’s go kill some zombies! This is gonna be awe-”

“You're not coming.”

“Huh?” My excitement was immediately replaced with shock.

“You’re not coming with me.” He then grabs some bullets and starts loading them into the pistol. “Keep an eye on the place will ya?” I didn’t take this well, maybe because the shock hadn’t worn off.

“Wait, you’re just gonna leave me?”

“You’ll only slow me down. Besides all you have for a weapon is a broken bat.” Okay, now he was making me angry.

“ Are you kidding me...Do you even realize the situation we’re in right now? What if you get killed? What if zombies raid the hideout? I won’t be about to defend myself! And if you think I’ll slow you down, I’ll have you know I was on the baseball team! We went to Nationals!. But NO. You insist I should stay home because I’m a wimp and I’ll get myself killed. Well too bad! We’re gonna die anyway, so just take me with you son of a-”

I was immediately silenced by Anthony’s hand on my mouth. I’m guessing I was so deep in my rant, I didn’t notice him walking toward me. Huh, man I’m an idiot.

“You’ll be fine. I have a lot of weapons. Just don’t touch the guns. “ I sighed and nodded. He had a point. I had no experience with guns. Ashton smiles and removes his head from my mouth. “Good. Now, get some rest. You get the top bunk.” I turned toward the bunk bed, which on a closer look, is completely infested with dust. Great. Now there’s a danger of me getting sick. But Ashton has already started to leave so I can’t complain too much. “Oh, by the way…” He turned around and tilted his head just a little bit. “There’s no safe house within a 10-mile radius. In case you wanna check.”

“Why, you-” But he was gone before I could come up with a proper response. I sighed and climbed the ladder toward the top bed. Okay, so far, Ashton is kind of a jerk. Scratch that, he’s an asshole. But he did save me, so I guess he cares about me a little bit. I’ll stay by his side. For now. Who knows, maybe we’ll get along once I become useful. I flopped onto the bed, and immediately got a bunch of dust in my vicinity. As I expected.