《The Decision of Loyalty》Chapter 14
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“What does unicorn horn do in healing practices, Cresswell?” Pomfrey quizzed Hermione as she was curled over a stack of paperwork, sorting them into the proper files in their shared office.
“It amplifies and purifies the magic, Madame. Anyone who imbibes a potion that was made with unicorn horn will get an intensely strong dose of the potion. So much so, that the witch or wizard would only need a drop to cure them of whatever ailment they are taking the potion for.” Hermione recited back to her, perfectly.
Pomfrey nodded, “And what potions is this most common in?”
“It can be used in any potion, but it is used commonly in Draught of Peace as unicorns have magically calming powers, especially in women. It has been used in Wolfsbane before, but it was extremely difficult. The more dark magic linked to the affliction, the harder it is to incorporate the unicorn horn.”
“Very good, Miss Cresswell! You will make a fine healer if I do say so myself.” Pomfrey beamed at Hermione, a gesture she hadn’t seen on many occasions. “Only a couple months left and you will be out in the world on your own. Are you ready to be free of this place?”
Hermione’s hand stilled as she slipped another paper into a folder to be filed away. She paused, lost in thought. She hadn’t realized how quickly time was going by here. In only a couple weeks it would be Halloween. And soon after that her time to leave to would be drawing near. She forced a small smile to tug at the corners of her mouth mechanically and turned to the older witch, “I suppose it is daunting no matter how prepared I feel I have tried to make myself.”
Pomfrey waved a hand at her dismissively, “Don’t be worried, dear. Everyone figures out their path as it comes at them. All you can do is go along with the ride.”
Hermione nodded her agreement and started filing again.
A few moments of companionable silence passed before Pomfrey said with a sly smile, “That Remus Lupin seems to be interested in you.” Hermione looked startled at the older witch. “I don’t mean to meddle. But he is one of the brightest students of his year. You could do much worse.”
Hermione’s thoughts drifted to Remus’ kiss the other night and the look of intense fury on Severus’ face when she came into the room in her drunken state. She had written the whole encounter off as them both being a bit too tipsy and Remus not meaning what he had done. “I-um-well, I’m kind of spoken for, actually.” She said, awkwardly tripping over the words. It was one thing thinking about her future predicament, but saying it aloud was an entirely different beast.
Pomfrey looked sadly at her, “Are you holding out for a high school sweetheart?”
Hermione thought of Professor Snape and repressed a shudder, “You could say that.” She muttered.
“I understand wanting to be loyal to someone, but sometimes you need to explore your options before you settle down. And you’re so young, you haven’t been able to decide if he’s really the one you want. There’s no harm in seeing where things take you, you may be pleasantly surprised.”
Hermione thought back to Professor Snape dragging Professor Lupin from his bed, inches from throttling him when he caught her in the shack that morning. Snape looked murderous and she finally understood why. He thought she was cheating on him with Lupin, and with their history of fighting over nearly everything, the episode finally made sense. She was the culprit behind the hatred Snape carried for Lupin, at least some of it.
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No, she did not want to ‘see where things went’ with Professor Lupin. She knew where they would go. And all roads led to Severus Snape.
- - -
The remainder of the week flew by as she studied and helped Pomfrey around the infirmary. Hermione watched with intrigued disgust written across her face as a young boy whipped his fingers back and forth in a quick waving motion, they flapped against the back of his hand to his palm in a fleshy noise. His friends all laughed as he continued bonelessly waving his fingers about in the hospital bed.
Hermione cleared her throat and handed the boy a glass of bone-replenishing tonic, “Here you are, Mr. Zirrac. Mind you, the taste is a bit-“
The boy had raised the cup to his mouth, his friends playing with his elastic fingers. As the potion his tongue, his features twisted and he immediately spat the potion out in a spray all over his friends. The two boys across him looked disgusted.
“Off putting.” Hermione finished. She sighed and grabbed the cup from him, filling it once again. She left the boys to lament over the foul-tasting potion and mess with their friend’s fingers and walked into the office to shake her head in exasperation at Pomfrey who laughed under her breath.
“Are you off then, Cresswell?”
“Yes, I ought to be going, I don’t want to be late.” Hermione hurried out of the hospital wing with a goodnight to Madame Pomfrey and quickly fled to her rooms and changed out of her work clothes. She knew now that comfortable clothes was a must when seeing Dumbledore under these circumstances, and she didn’t want to be ill prepared.
She changed into a hoodie and jeans and ran out of her rooms, quickly making her way through the castle to Dumbledore’s office. As she hurried through the courtyard, she saw a flash of red and a high pitched giggle that made her pause.
She looked to where she thought she saw the red, but didn’t see anything. She quickly started up her hurried pace and as she crossed the courtyard, heard a woman’s voice, “James! Would you keep your bloody hands to yourself?” The voice giggled.
Hermione knew that voice belonged to Lily Evans. She looked around the courtyard again and didn’t see anyone. A shimmer of reflected light came from the shadows and her eyes narrowed. She remembered that Harry’s invisibility cloak had once belonged to James Potter and knew what that shimmer belonged to immediately.
The giggling died as Hermione glared at the exact spot she knew James and Lily were standing. She saw the cloak shimmer again and imagined them shifting awkwardly under it. If they weren’t careful, they would get that thing taken away, and she, Harry, and Ron needed it in the future. She continued to glare disapprovingly before turning swiftly and starting on her mission towards Dumbledore’s office once more. She hoped they would be more mindful about using the cloak besides sneaking off to do who-knows-what at night in the courtyard from now on.
Her steps echoed in the empty halls as she quickly snaked her way through the halls before she finally landed outside of his doors. She waited until the clock was exactly at 9pm before knocking on his door. The door magically swung open and she strode in, taking her place across from the elder wizard at his desk.
He offered her a pumpkin pastie which she took gratefully, her stomach churning from not eating all day. She happily chewed on the small pastry and Dumbledore took one as well, eating in companionable silence.
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Hermione looked up at him from under her lashes, not sure how to begin. She knew she needed to ask him, but she was worried about the answer he was going to give her. Would he want more information than what she was willing to give? She chewed in contemplation before swallowing thickly and finally forcing the question out of herself, “Sir?”
His bright blue eyes met hers with a smile, “Yes, Miss Granger?”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. It’s been kind of an issue for a while now, and I’m not sure if its something I should be managing more comprehensively.” She started, looking at him for a reaction. Finding none, she pressed on. “I’ve been having these…dreams. They seem real when I’m having them, but then I’m startled awake. It involves the same person who is trying to get information from me, and I don’t know if I should be worried about them or not.”
Dumbledore steepeled his fingers in contemplation, thinking for a long while before asking, “They seem real? Do you remember anything being off about them? Anything that you may have found odd?”
Hermione tried to remember back to her dreams, her brows furrowed in thought. “Well, in the first one it felt almost like I was floating. And in the second one I remember touching a leaf in my windowsill and it turned to ash. I always kind of feel like I’m floating though in them.”
Dumbledore seemed to consider this, “Do you have any connection to the person who is invading your dreams?”
Hermione started to shake her head, but had to stop herself. “Yes, I do.”
“If the connection is strong enough, sometimes a bond can form and a connection between the minds will develop… like a link. This sort of magic is ancient and can be very volatile. Sometimes the person doesn’t know they are doing it and other times… they do. And they will use it to gain information.”
"But, Headmaster, I don’t think the connection between us is that strong. And even if it was, it definitely wouldn’t be in this time.”
“Once the connection is made, it stays with the person throughout their entire lives…including their pasts. If I’m not mistaken, however, I can’t say the theory has been tested very often. A bond like that happens seldomly and to time turn with it is even more unheard of. “
“So…you’re saying, this person that I am, that I am bonded with- could be actually living out this dream with me? He could remember everything that is happening in the dream?”
“Precisely, Miss Granger.”
Hermione ran a hand through her hair and sighed in frustration. If this was all true, she had said way too much to Severus. “What do I do if he knows too much?”
Dumbledore didn’t answer right away, just stared at her, his eyes twinkling. “How do you know what you said is too much, Miss Granger?” He chuckled at the exasperated expression on her face. “One way to know that the dream is, in fact, a dream, is something will be off. The leaves turning to ash is a good example. If you are worried about saying too much to this young man, I would check my surroundings to make sure things don’t…crumble around me.”
- - -
Hermione dragged herself wearily down the corridors toward her rooms. It was nearing midnight and she felt like she had battled to her wits end with Dumbledore, fighting against his slippery magic slithering into the crevices of her mind. She was a rabid dog protecting its last source of food.
She crawled up the changing staircases, dragging her feet up each step. Her body was dead on its feet, but her mind was whirring with thought. Did Severus know what these dreams meant? Did he just think they were oddly realistic dreams? Was he using them on purpose to get information from her? She immediately expelled the thought from her head. He would never exploit her like that. Dumbledore trusted him more than anyone else, how could she doubt him like that?
She rounded the corner to a darkened hallway and almost ran headfirst into Remus. “Oh!” She exclaimed in surprise.
“Acacia!” He looked shocked out of deep thought. He lowered his raised wand and gave her the small smile she was so accustomed to. “Are you doing alright? Its late.”
“Oh, erm, yes- fine.” She nervously tucked a locke of blonde hair behind her ear and returned Lupin’s small smile. “What are you doing out so late?”
“Oh, well, I have prefect duties.” Lupin said, gesturing to the badge glistening on his chest.
“Isn’t it a bit late for rounds?”
Lupin’s cheeks flushed, “Sometimes when I can’t sleep I do an extra pass.”
“I see.” An awkward silence passed between them before Hermione cleared her throat. “Well, I best be off. I have an early shift tomorrow morning. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Lupin’s face twisted in confusion before realization dawned on him and his faced flushed in embarrassment. “Ah, uhm, yes. See you later, Acacia.”
She hurried past him before she felt his hand enclose over her wrist lightly and she turned to face him, confusion plain on her face. “Remus-?”
“I meant what happened between us the other night, Acacia. I really like you. And I hope you feel the same for me, as well.”
“Oh, erm, Remus, I-I don’t know what to say. I like you, but-“ His hopeful face broke her heart. She wanted so badly to be the person he needed her to be, but she knew she could never be that for him. She wished so badly that she was to be married to him over Professor Snape. At least he was friendly. She had so many good conversations with him and he really cared about her. Unlike Snape who only cut her down and belittled her.
Her heart ached at the smile that he gave her. She longed so much for him. The thought of Pomfrey’s words came to her mind. There’s no harm in seeing where things take you, you may be pleasantly surprised. He would have been a caring husband. She shuddered to think what kind of husband Professor Snape would turn out to be.
But…she knew that was a selfish dream. She knew he was interested in Tonks in her time and Tonks loved him. They belonged together. And they were a good couple together. She was lively and spontaneous and Remus was the logical, supportive rock she needed to keep her grounded. She couldn’t get in the way of his happiness like that when she knew what she was destined to do.
“-But I am not the right girl for you. I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to work out, Remus.”
He frowned at her, “You don’t know that.”
“But I do, Remus. I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand from his and backed away. “Trust me. I am not the right person for you. You deserve so much more than what I can give you.”
“Acacia-“
“Please, Remus. All I can give you is my friendship. I hope that is enough.”
He looked heartbroken. His soft eyes melted into hers and she wanted to rip her aching heart out of her chest. He slowly nodded, “Friends. Of course.” A sad smile cracked its way into the sad lines of his face and Hermione’s resolve nearly broke. She reached out for his hand and squeezed it before letting it go and turning to walk down the hall, leaving him alone in the dark behind her.
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