“We started walking the dog together. He has been happier lately, and he’s been making an effort. Ever since I’ve focused all my sexual attention on him, our relationship is better than it has ever been. I’m happy right now. Very happy. And I don’t want it to fade.” Diane says with a smile as she recalls her recent experiences.

Diane stops talking and the room fades into silence. Something begins to build within her. She turns her head to give a hesitant glance at the doctor sitting adjacently from where she lied on the couch before turning back and looking ahead. She closes her eyes and attempts to distract her mind with thoughts of her husband, but her train of thought was broken by his voice.

“Go on,” the doctor says.

Diane opens her eyes and lets out a breath as guilt already begins to overcome her. “Doctor,” Diane calls out, as shameful anxiety washes over her.

The doctor sighs. “What is it this time?” The doctor asks, reminding the woman of a disapproving father-figure.

Diane attempts to suppress her urge, but the words still come out. “Can we continue the session in the usual position?” She asks, avoiding the doctor’s gaze as her cheeks become heated.

The doctor leans back against his chair and rubs his eyes with his hand, expressing his frustration. “We have gone over this at your previous session, Diane. That exercise was simply to acclimate you towards maintaining clarity when experiencing excitement. We have already confirmed that you have the power to delay and target your sexual attraction towards the appropriate outlet.” The doctor forces out, trying his hardest to maintain his professionalism.

“I know, I know,” Diane says in a fluster as she tries to explain her dilemma. “The exercises have been working. I’ve stopped cheating and offering sexual favors, and every time we go through it, I always go home and make love with my husband. I only make love with my husband. Our relationship is better than it has ever been. But…” She says as tears come out of her eyes. She loves her husband. She loves her husband very much. And she hated herself. Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she stop? “But I need fuel, doctor. I can’t go on without it.” She says with frustration as the tears continue to wash over her face.

The doctor sits silently and closes his eyes, fully letting her express herself as he tries to block out the sound of her sobs. The range of emotions she has been feeling. The guilt. The regret. And the urge for release. The doctor tries hard to ignore it, and let the process play out without him. To progress, untouched and lighthearted. This was his goal. But…

Her sobs die down. Diane sits up and looks ahead at the doctor. The doctor looks back at her tear-stained face and red eyes. He sees her determination.

“Take off your pants,” he says as he gets off the couch.

Diane lets out a relieved smile. “Thank you, doctor,” she says before proceeding to remove her shoes, pants, and underwear.

The doctor gets on his knees and Diane sits back on the couch and spreads her legs. The doctor crawls forward until his face is only a few inches away from between her legs.

Diane places a few pillows behind her and leans back to adjust her position until she is fully revealed. After feeling the doctor’s breath on her she could finally let out a sigh of relief.

The doctor, on all fours, inches away from possible cunnilingus, closes his eyes in embarrassment before forcing himself to continue. “You were telling me about your husband,” he says, trying to maintain his dignity.

Diane smiles as she immerses herself in the situation. “Yes, my husband,” She says before picking up where she left off. “Our dog has been unhappy lately and has started acting up. Turns out my husband has been so focused on pleasing me that he’s forgotten to walk the dog. Dogs need to be walked. Who knew? Anyway, we’ve been walking the dog together and have come across a few neighbors on their walks. They’re a nice couple down the street; we’ll be having brunch next Sunday. He’s an engineer and his wife is a librarian.” Diane says, continuing in a more jovial tone.

“Tell me about the engineer.” The doctor says in an attempt to find a topic relevant to the session.

Diane, immersed in feeling the doctor’s breath, briefly loses track of the conversation, before continuing. “Yes, doctor,” She says with a hint of elation. “The engineer is very nice. Very successful for his age. His wife’s pretty too. But you know men. Looks at my husband like a competitor and me like a meal he has yet to enjoy. But I don’t think he knows that’s what he’s thinking. His body is honest, though. A woman can tell.” Diane continues, getting slightly excited as she thinks about her neighbor’s gaze.

“Do you feel any attraction for him?” The doctor asks, still attempting to direct the conversation in his awkward posture from between Diane’s legs.

“Uhmm,” Diane expresses with a bite of her lips. “What was that doctor?” She asks, hoping to feel his breath again.

“The engineer. Do you have any attraction for him?” The doctor asks again.

“Yes…” Diane says in a moment of heightened sensitivity. “I mean, well, yes. He’s an attractive man. And young. Of course, I’m attracted to him. But I would never look to do anything with it. Or should I? What do you think doctor?” Diane says, bracing herself for that hint of a touch. Light and almost nothing, but representing his presence.

“Of course you shouldn’t. Your relationship with your husband is in a good place, and you’re happy, aren’t you?” The doctor asks, bewildered by the question.

“But he’s very attractive. Give me some words of advice, doctor. How do I stop myself?” Diane asks, readying herself to experience another round.

“Okay, we're done,” The doctor says as he gets up from the ground. “I don’t think we’ll make any more progress today, Diane. You can schedule another appointment with my secretary.” The doctor says, dismissing the session.

“No!” Diane yells. Feeling robbed and wanting to continue, she picks up a vase and smashes it onto the ground. “We’re not done! Finish the session like a man!” Diane yells, fully aware of the absurdity, but feeling too stifled to care. It was almost nothing and yet she couldn’t have it. Why was he being so… uncharitable?

“Diane, it’s time to go. Come on,” The doctor says as he opens the door and gestures for her to leave.

“I’m not going,” Diane says sternly. “If you don’t continue, I’ll gladly write a letter to the association about your treatment method. You sick fuck; preying on your patients. Do you think they really have nothing to say about this?” She says in a controlled but angry voice.

“Now, Diane. You don’t have to do anything drastic. We can talk about this peacefully,” The doctor says, attempting to maintain control of the conversation.

“Then come here and fuck me like a man!” Diane screams.

…

…

I sat on my chair after she left and lit a cigarette. She cried after. She didn’t want to cheat on her husband. I knew that from our previous sessions. But I gave her the opportunity.

“You’re just a beast,” she said before leaving.

I take a drag from the cigarette and exhale. “That bitch,” I say, unable to stop myself.

I take another drag from the cigarette and take out my phone to find her on my contact list. As I look at her name, I knew; I would be calling her later that night.