One, my life is in danger. That is what I have concluded.

Two. I have two options. Die struggling or die happily.

Any thoughts of escapism will only waste time, and force me to the latter.

It could be said that there is no difference. Both ways end with me dying. But there is.

There is a chance I will survive on each route. However, such a chance is infinitesimally small, and one I cannot calculate.

Indecision will force me to the latter.

I don’t want to struggle, but it feels like the chance of surviving on the former is higher than the latter.

What a hard choice.

Three, I am already struggling to survive. Everyday, I have to force myself not to breathe. I know breathing will kill me, but breathing feels right. I have to go through this torture everyday, every second of my life.

I am drowning.

Four, it looks like everyone else is happy.

…

Five, it looks like they will be happy without me.

I know that this is not true, but it feels like it. It seems correct, but I know it to be untrue.

Do I believe in my mind or my heart?

I am being torn apart.

It hurts.

It really really hurts.

Six: the time to make the choice is rapidly approaching. I fear it. I hate having to make this choice.

I am afraid, and I am hurt.

Seven. I have to make a choice.

Eight.

Make my dreams become reality.

Nine.

Please.

You have to put in effort to make your future happiness.