I stumble through the door and fall on my knees. The dark hallway is lit up by the lightning from the open door. Even though I can’t stop my shaking I still force myself to rise again, using the shoe rack at my side. The key inside my hand seems to be as slick as oil all of a sudden. I miss the keyhole three times before finally locking up.

My mind is blank and thinking hurts. I got rid of the car along the way, so I had to run through the storm. The numbness of my skin makes it hard to realize how cold I really am. Ignoring my state, I move into the living room. Despite expecting the TV to be running, everything is quiet and dark. Was there nobody here?

I hear low breathing from somewhere. My vision shifts and I find her spread out on the sofa. I pull off the black raincoat and throw it over a chair. There is no way I could mind the puddle that is spreading on the floor.

Softly I walk over to Lis and kneel down next to the sofa. Her rhythmic breathing is so relaxed and alive and calming and…

I push my soaked hair to the side and lean forward. Our faces are so close that I can see the slight twitching of her nose in response to my presence. She really is just like Sleeping Beauty.

My heart is cleansed. This is all I wanted. If Lis can rest easy from now on too, then my mission will be accomplished.

Yes… if only.

I have a weird dream. It’s quite fortunate that I’m not a deep sleeper, because I usually don’t get nightmares. And if I do, I can just wake up at will. This one can’t be called a nightmare, but also not a happy dream. There is no connection or thread throughout it and the ending is confusing.

A rabbit playing inside a prospering garden. Then the grass and flowers start to wilt away all at once and the rabbit hops to the next meadow. The same thing happens again, but this time the rabbit doesn’t run. A raven comes down and pecks for seeds in the dead flowerbed. The rabbit just sits and watches, but the raven doesn’t notice it.

A loud noise!

The raven looks up and sees the rabbit cower. It suddenly jumps on top of it and carries it away. Mid-flight they turn into butterflies and eventually settle on a beautiful lily. Someone picks the lily and hands it to me. Why am I here now?

I smell the lily and it has a wonderful scent. The person who picked it for me turns out to be Papa. He smiles and then walks away. I can’t follow him for some reason. I don’t want to be alone…

The lily blooms and then it starts growing from the base! It turns into vines that sling around my wrist and eventually my entire body. It constricts me, forces me to my knees and makes me unable to breathe. But it doesn’t hurt. I feel warm. This feeling of being captured is pleasant somehow.

I jolt up from the sofa and inhale deeply. My head is spinning and I lose orientation for a moment. Eventually my pulse settles down and I realize that I was sleeping inside the living room. The rain keeps drumming against the windows in a calming rhythm. It seems that I couldn’t stay awake waiting for Rafi.

The TV is just as dark as the room, because I don’t particularly enjoy watching anything. Books let my imagination take flight, but seeing things being acted out on screen just seems a bit dull. I had watched the news for five minutes and then turned it off.

Unable to suppress a yawn, I roll my stiff shoulders a bit. Sleeping on the sofa wasn’t very clever of me. This atmosphere just made people sleepy naturally. Maybe I should go take a shower to wake myself up.

Just as I move my legs off the couch I suddenly notice her.

“Rafi?” I blink a few times to be sure I’m not hallucinating. It’s really her! Rafi is sitting hunched over at the bottom of the sofa. Why would she choose such an uncomfortable spot? I shake my head softly. That really isn’t the issue.

Looking closely, her hair and clothes are completely soaked. The storm had taken its toll on my poor sister. She could have woken me up at least, instead of just hunkering down there. Now it’s almost guaranteed that she will catch a cold. Not on my watch!

“Time to wake up sleepyhead.” I gently shake her shoulders. Her eyes twitch a little and then open ever so slightly. “You need to take a hot shower.”

“….Lis…” She barely opens her mouth, but then suddenly embraces me. “I… I did it…”

“That’s wonderful.” I praise her while patting her wet head.

“I came back…”

“Yes, you did.” I just keep stroking her hair. She seems so out of it, even a bit scared. That’s why I need to keep holding her.

“I’m home.”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for waiting for me.”

“Of course.”

Rafi has finally calmed down. She leans into my soft strokes like a cat. It was rare for her to act this cute. This little happiness can make us even forget about the scary storm outside.

I take her hand and pull her up to her feet. Then I guide my still sleepy sister to the bathroom on the first floor. She just goes along with my actions without question. I take off her wet and sticky clothes and then guide her to the bathtub. It seems she finally realizes what was going on and starts the shower herself. I pull the shower curtain shut so the water won’t spray into the bathroom.

I pick up her clothes and take them to the washing machine. She got so completely soaked on her way from home to the train station. It surprises me a little that the school did not cancel lessons for the day with this weather. I heard about it on TV before, that heavy weather could prevent students from coming to school, so they would close preemptively.

But Rafi needed to do this, whatever it was. I shouldn’t question her. When she comes to me with such a forlorn look, I simply have to support her. That’s what a big sister does. Family is more important than anything else in this world.

I put down a bundle of fresh clothes for her and then leave the bathroom. The steady sound of running water makes it feel almost cozy in there. If Rafi is this tired I guess it is time for me to show off my cooking skills for once! I never get an opportunity to do it, so this is really exciting.

“I can’t believe this.” Rafi says with a disgruntled expression as she sets down her fork.

“W-what? Why not?” I can’t believe my ears.

“How much salt did you put into this?” She asks me with a raised brow.

“I accidentally dropped the salt shaker into the water, but I managed to fish it out with the pincer.” I explain happily. It was quite tough, but nothing I can’t handle.

“And then?”

“Then I poured the contents into the water, because the shaker was full of water.”

“Right.” She looks at the pasta as if it had personally attacked her or something. “How do you like them?” She squints at my plate.

“Délicieux.” I reply as I take another big bite out of my portion.

“Isn’t that a bit much ketchup?” Her eyebrow is twitching.

“I spread it evenly.” I would never put too much ketchup in one spot. Rafi is treating me like a kid again.

“Yeah, there is not a single yellow noodle left. All red.” She mumbles and then puts the pasta to her mouth. She is eating them dry for some reason. “Usually you would at least add some tomato sauce and basil to it…”

“Hm?”

“I will gladly eat anything you make for me. Even if it is too salty and dry or drowned in ketchup.” She smiles weakly and keeps stuffing herself.

“You don’t have to eat something so bad. I would never mess up like that.” I laugh at her funny joke. Rafi just smiles and keeps eating away.

“Papa should be in the plane right now.” I put a finger to my chin and imagine him complaining about the lack of space for his large legs. He always flies business class.

Rafi puts down her fork. Did I imagine it or was her hand shaking? She closes her eyes and sighs.

“Do you feel unwell? Is it a fever?” It really worries me when she looks like this. I’m certain she caught a cold.

“I promised father that I would look out for you.” She looks up and her eyes seem more steady and determined.

“Gosh.” There she goes again acting like some knight protecting her princess.

“…if anything bad happens. Just in case.” She rubs her hands together. “Just wait for me; I will make you forget about it.”

“Huh… forget about it?” That’s strange, isn’t it? Should we really just forget bad things? Why does that seem so… wrong?

“You are all I have.” She whispers with teary eyes.

“Rafi?” I grab her hands in mine with concern. She is so emotional all of a sudden. “Don’t be silly. You also have Papa and Robert and your friends at school. We are all here for you!”

She looks at me with such a painful expression. Her lips move, but no words come out. She tries again and again, but it just doesn’t happen.

Eventually she lowers her head and nods.

“You are right.” She says with a hollow voice.

“Yes! Trust your big sister.” I smile as supportively as I can.

“Do you trust me?” The question comes out of nowhere. But I suppose in return for her trust it’s only natural.

“Always.” I confirm wholeheartedly.

“Is that a promise?”

“Of course!”

“You never go back on a promise. That’s just how you are.” She takes my hands that are wrapped around hers and kisses them.

“That tickles.” I giggle.

“I feel really refreshed now.” Rafi declares and then gets up from the table. She cracks her neck a little.

“What about your food?”

“Could you store it in the fridge for me? I will eat it all later.” She asks me while waving her hand. Before I can even reply she is already going to Papa’s office.

“I will.” Even though we weren’t finished yet… It’s kind of lonely eating by myself again.

Three days have passed in the blink of an eye. The storm had lasted for two days, but today it finally cleared up. I was getting a little moody from the constant black and gray colors outside. This constant sleepiness can make a girl turn melancholy.

What really worries me is not the weather, though. It has been three days, but Rafi has barely talked to me. She always either holes herself up in Papa’s office or leaves in the early morning and comes back late. She seems so incredibly busy and exhausted. Somehow she still manages to buy groceries between all her work. I would like to take at least that burden from her, but the front door is always locked and I’m not allowed to go outside.

It worries me too much. I want to talk to her again. If we talk it out, we can resolve anything!

For that purpose I made some coffee with the best beans we had left and then prepared delicious sandwiches from cut baguettes. These should cheer her up and set the mood for a good long talk. I stop my long steps in front of the white door and raise my free hand to knock.

“I won’t repeat myself. You will either come in person or our agreement is terminated!”

I can’t believe my ears. That’s… Papa’s voice! But how could he be back already? I didn’t hear or see him come in. Surprised and overjoyed I open the door without knocking. What I see when I come in is more confusing than anything. Rafi is sitting in Papa’s old chair and talking to someone over her Smartphone. When she noticed me bursting in she almost dropped it.

“Monsieur Dubois, you can’t-“

“…” With wide eyes she presses the disconnect button to end the call. “Lis… is something wrong?” She asks with a strained voice.

“Oh? I could swear I heard Papa’s voice.” It couldn’t have been my imagination, right?

“Uhm… yes. T-that’s because… I was talking to him right now.” She suddenly points at the phone with a serious expression.

“Gosh, you can’t hang up on him just because you always argue!” I scold her with an amused expression.

“Haha. You know we are like oil and water.” She replies with a stifled laugh.

“Can you call him back? I want to talk to him as well.” I ask excitedly. Because I don’t have a phone it’s hard for me to contact Papa on my own after all.

“He’s… incredibly busy.” Rafi lowers her hand and puts the phone aside. “He just told me that he won’t be coming back tomorrow after all. They are really dragging out those negotiations.”

“Oh my… I hope Papa isn’t in trouble.” I set down the silver plate on the desk.

“I’m sure he is doing fine… is that coffee?” Her eyes suddenly light up and she grabs the hot cup with delight.

“I thought you would like some.”

“You’re a lifesaver Lis! I could inject this stuff straight to my veins right now.” She greedily takes big gulps of the hot liquid.

“D-don’t be so hasty, you will burn yourself!” I pull the cup out of her hand and she pouts.

“And you even made… food.” She goes through her hazelnut hair and looks at the sandwiches with concern.

“Hahaha, I think you will like them a lot!”

“There isn’t any salt on them, right?” Again with that doubting look.

“Don’t be silly. Salt doesn’t belong on sandwiches.”

“True.” She sighs in relief and puts one of them to her mouth.

“You use pepper to bring out the flavor of the cheese.” I raise a finger knowingly.

Rafi gulps the bite down in record time and stares at the sandwich with a darkened face. She sneezes.

“Too much pepper?” I tilt me head in surprise at the cute sneeze.

“Just got some... in my nose.” She rubs the nose in question and then sets down the sandwich. “I will eat the rest later. And tomorrow I will start cooking again.”

“Don’t overwork yourself please. I can take care of some things too.”

“You do all the housework already, so leave at least something to me.” She replies calmly.

“I don’t have much else to do.” I shrug. “All I have left to do is to prepare for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Rafi looks at her phone.

“There is a new client waiting. Robert still hasn’t told you?”

Rafi lets her phone slip out of her hand again. If she keeps treating it so roughly it will break.

“No… no there isn’t a client.” She says roughly.

“What? Did they cancel?” That has never happened before.

“Th-that’s right. Seems they got cold feet.” She leans on one hand and smiles vaguely.

“I wish Robert would tell me these things himself.” I feel a tad disappointed that he thinks Rafi is more dependable than me.

“He didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m just closer to the phone.” Her argument makes sense. But why does she look so pale? “Look Lis… I’ve been talking to father a lot recently.”

“Is that why you argued?”

“Sure. The truth is, he doesn’t think you should… continue your job.”

“What…?” I can’t follow. That doesn’t make any sense.

“It’s too dangerous. Also improper for a good girl like you.” She averts her eyes.

“No, Papa wouldn’t say that.” I shake my head in denial. “How can I repay him if I don’t do my job?!” It couldn’t be. This was the only thing I was able to do. Papa always wanted me to do my job well and in return he praised me. The agreement, the perfume, the people I could meet.... they should all disappear just like that?

“Lis, you’ve done enough already.” Rafi looked at me with pity. Again this…

“I don’t want that. It would mean that I’m… useless.” I feel my face getting hot. The room is turning blurry.

“That’s what father said and he doesn’t change his mind. You know that.” Rafi insists with a hardened expression. “From now on you won’t be meeting any clients anymore.”

It feels like the floor beneath me has opened up and is swallowing me whole. If this goes on I will collapse and lose myself.

But if Papa said it, then it must be right.

It echoes inside my head, this safety line. Rafflesia is just giving me his orders. That means it’s fine. Even if it makes me so unhappy I want to cry, I will have to accept it.

“We can find a different occupation for you when… things have calmed down.” My precious little sister is always thinking of me. Even now she is trying to cheer me up.

Pathetic. It would be pathetic to cry now.

“…I understand.” I lower my head. An awkward silence envelopes the room.

“Lis-“

“I’m going to my room. Please eat your food!” I spin around and hurry out the door.

“Was I too harsh?” I wonder with an outstretched hand. Lis just sprinted out the door like she was deeply hurt. I don’t ever want to hurt her.

But I had to do what was best for her, even if she doesn’t understand it right now.

Time is running dry. If I don’t settle this soon we will be in hell on Earth. The pressure is killing me, but when I look at the plate I can feel Lis good-natured love. I put the sandwich to my mouth and kiss it softly.

Only a little longer. Only a little bit more.