Yo, welcome to “Sparkly Teen Romance but With More Horror”.

Today we’ll be talking about the creature that’s seen as the most beautiful by a lot of races for some reason…….THE VAMPIRE!

The vampire is a nocturnal creature and has a lot of similarities to bats. It’s misunderstood on what they exactly look like because in different realities they can look like anything. For example, to some of the people of Earth 4-L89Y-001, vampires look like humans but have pale skin, beautiful hair, and they shine in the sun.

There are stories on Venus 99-Z07A-666 that describe the creatures as a mix between a lump of flesh, a human, and a bat.

There is one detail that stays the same no matter what reality you visit: they all die from sunlight. Sunlight is their only weakness because they have primeval energy and earth magic running through their veins. Usually earth magic would absorb the sunlight but once it has combined with sunlight, POOF!! The earth magic solidifies the primeval energy and that locks it into one place. Some people believe that the earth magic mixing with the primeval energy was a interference from a god so they can fight back.

You might be thinking, “What’s up with all this primeval energy stuff dude?!” Well it’s-PSYCHE!! Read the book and you’ll learn what it is.

Back to the topic.

Vampires can be born from either lingering souls that have taken over a body, black magic being coursed through a dead baby while standing in a dark alley, and even just getting bit by a Zylt Bat.

Vampires aren’t rare beings. I literally met a whole planet full on accident, like seriously. Stories portray vampires as creatures that tend to hide away from society but that’s actually incorrect. Vampires LOVE parties. Seriously, vampires love parties, public areas, and even churches. Yeah, they like churches. They still interact with society because it reminds them of being alive. It lets them know that maybe one day night will fall short and the sun will evaporate them.

I know pretty nice wording right? Well, I didn’t come up with that. A vampire actually did. There are galaxies full of vampires that are striving to unite realities. I’ve asked some why their doing it and one of em said, “If I’m going to be immortal why not save a few lives?” For example, there's literally a super cluster that’s full of vampires trying to cure every disease to ever exist or ever will. There are literally realities of vampires just trying to save people.

But I’ll say this now. NOT ALL VAMPIRES ARE NICE!!

There is an organization called “నెవర్ ఎండింగ్ నైట్” which means “Never Ending NIght”. As you can guess by their name, they want to envelope all realities into darkness and complete abyss. They believe that the abyssals are just one part of true darkness and that the only way to truly live is by dying.

Makes no sense, right? WRONG! These dudes store souls and feed em to abyssals. Yep you heard me. THEY FEED ABYSSALS!! They think that once an abyssal explodes from eating too much then the explosion from their crystals would destroy universes.

Now the only problem with that is that they have to be close to an abyssal to feed it. If you’ve read the chapter on abyssals then you know that is not a good idea.

They jump around that problem by literally SHOOTING souls at the abyssals from galaxies away. Yeah, these dudes launch souls from a cannon at an ancient creature so it blows up.

It reminds me of a game from the birthplace of one of my buddies. I believe the game had to deal with using a water gun to shoot the mouth of a “clown” (gotta visit that earth one day cause what the absolute shit is a clown) and you win by making the clown explode.

Ah, sorry. Back to the topic.

There are evil, good and even neutral vampires.

You may be thinking, “Don’t vampires need to drink blood to survive? How can there be good vampires?”

Well that’s actually a misunderstanding. Vampires only drink the blood of humans. They can eat food and other stuff but human blood has an extremely large amount of earth magic. Like seriously. There is an earth where a religion believes all humans were made from the clay blessed by the earth goddess ਜੀਵਨ.

That religion may be the closest to the answer of why humans have such amazing skills at suing earth magic.

Ah, yes vampires.

So vampires don’t need blood, they just need the earth magic in the blood. The good vampires have found a way to harness earth magic from a single flower and that could feed about 3 vampires for a year.

The misconception of blood drinking probably came from the cousin of the vampire, the Baobhan Sith. These dudes are absolute no go. Their hybrids of succubi and vampires so they have super strength and super powerful dark magic. I recommend sleeping with one if you have protection, like sword protection because once they have sex they eat their mates head. Yeah, mantis style. Sometimes if they get hungry they even eat their own kind.

One thing though, vampires actually hate to be called a Baobhan Sith’s because of some stuff that happened in their original reality. If I remember correctly, I think it was a war over some human kid I think?

I honestly think that if you meet a good vampire then go out and have a drink and if you’re human let em take a bite. If your their first bite in like a few hundred years then they release a chemical into your body that permanently makes you immune to weak dark magic spells. Like if you meet a colony of good ones try to get bitten by all of them like one whole colony of bites can make you completely immune to dark magic.

But if you run into the bad vampires I recommend either opening some blinds or shining a flashlight at em. If there are no windows nearby and you don’t have a flashlight just let em turn you so you can betray em one day.

Quick tip: If you meet any loli vampire just run. Those dudes are fucking disgusting like seriously dudes. You may like lolis but loli vampires have stunted growth. That means they need more earth magic then the usual vampire. That means if a loli vampire wakes up after 100 years of not eating they could literally devour a whole planet full of humans. THEY ARE TO BE EXTERMINATED THE FIRST CHANCE GIVEN!!!

Danger Level: 2 stars (prepared) and 6 stars (if not prepared)

What to do if you encounter one:

Open some blinds

Throw it in sunlight

Befriend it

Shine a flashlight at it

Run into the sun

Chance for encounter: 17% (17/100 is a vampire)

Chance for survival: 29% (not prepared) and 81% (if prepared)

Tip. If you find a good vampire, try to befriend him and his kinfolk. But never EVER try to stab one in the heart. I tried it and I got one of my balls destroyed.