《A Degenerates Book for Survival》How I Met Vlad (part 2)

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When I looked at the man it felt like I was staring at the sun; I should look away but my mind was too curious.

The man looked at me and said, “Why are you on my planet, boy?” My body was as stiff as a rock and I was pretty sure this man could turn a rock into dust.

That’s when what he said hit me. He had said “Why are you on MY PLANET, boy?” This man was არასასურველი ტკივილი. I didn’t think I would have met him so soon into the mission. I had to think fast or else he might kill me right here.

My mind was buzzing for a answer when I thought of one. I was the son of a traveling merchant but along my journey we came across a group of pirates. The pirates robbed of us our ship, our food, and our supplies but they left us a weeks worth of food and an escape pod. The pod had room for one.

My father had sacrificed me so he could keep living. The pirates went back on their promise and killed my father and offered me a job in their fleet.

I spent 3 years working for them when a group of bounty hunters caught up with us. I took the chance to escape with myself and a few of my belongings.

When არასასურველი ტკივილი said, “You know what, I already know, kid. I was wondering what you were gonna say. You were probably going to lie and say that you were some merchants son, you became a pirate after some pirates killed your father, bounty hunters got to the pirates and you escaped. I know you’re a hired gun and a Fektronkle named Anslou Zax was the customer. It’s a good idea but there was only one problem…..guess.”

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I stood still and it felt like my whole body had become clammy. He knew everything I was thinking…..EVERYTHING!! How did he know?! Was my mission compromised from the beginning or was it all a trap set up by Zax?

I calmed myself down and said to him, “Zax betrayed me. He probably sent an informant before hand to warn you. He’s probably trying to earn your favor. Damned Fek.”

He looked at me and smirked, “Kid, you’re guess is amazing…………..if it was right. The correct answer is everything on this galaxy is owned by me. Even you and your mind. Now guess what my name is.”

I couldn’t stand listening to him now. It felt like he was just gloating and we both knew he could easily kill me. This man- no this monster was gloating to a person he could easily kill for what? His own enjoyment. My hatred towards this man was growing at a super high rate.

“Your name’s არასასურველი ტკივილი (arasasurveli t’k’ivili) and fuck you.” I replied

He just clicked his tongue and then said, “I hate that name. Those people keep calling me that and I hate it. Do you know what that name means? It means ‘Unwanted Pain’ which means means my existence harms everything to ever be thought of…..Boy, I shall give you the honor of knowing my name.” I really wanted to punch this dude in the face because he either called me boy or kid.

I was going to tell him my name when he roared, “THOSE DAMN ANTS CALL ME VLAD DRACULA, THE DARK PRINCE, COUNT DE VILLE, THE EVIL EYE, ORDOG, NOSFERATU, VROLOK, POKOL OR INANIS!!! Ahem, but you can call me Vlad, boy.”

His shout had shook the planet and sent shock waves across the multiverse.

I just fell to my knees and pissed myself.

This man was the fabled devil, the monster in the closet, the boogeyman and the origin of all scary stories. This man wasn’t supposed to be real. He was supposed to be a thought some guy had while writing not an actual physical being. I couldn’t calm myself down mainly because my brain was going 9e+100 miles right now.

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