“We’re taking her down,” said Nosey. “Gemini, do you copy?”

Gemini was stunned, and all his captain brain could think was court martial. What would his parents think? Would he get his ass kicked the second they landed back in New Mexico?

“Gemini, do you copy? I’m gonna need you here. Do. You. Copy.”

“Copy, sir.”

“Thank god. This fucking Tesla system is straight FUBAR. It looks like there’s been some interception with the communication too. Either our bird’s malfunctioning or we’re getting hacked. Do you notice any irregularity in your comms?”

Gemini looked around the busy machine and in all his life, he never thought the joysticks, gauges, and altimeters would look so much like Mandarin Chinese than they did.

“Systems seem, uh… normal.”

“Do they?”

“Uh… yes.”

“DO they?”

“Sir, I believe so.”

“Cause we just fucking nuked the stadium, and I know I didn’t push any buttons to nuke the fucking stadium.”

“Sir, systems appear normal, but I can’t hear Ground.”

“Neither can I. Our weapons payload isn’t behaving either. I know only one bay door opened. I can feel it in the way we’re flying, but it’s saying we’ve expelled everything. Fucking Tesla. I have no idea if we’re gonna strike lightning twice and have another malfunction on landing. We are not flying over anything else today.”

“We’re maintaining course to Detroit. Sir.”

“We sure as fuck are. Center, Center, do you copy? This is Bird 2. We are en route to Detroit. Do you copy?”

The radio was silent over Lake Erie. From their speed and height, they were able to see the Motor City. It wouldn’t be long before they were in range.

“Gemini, can you still access anything in the weapon’s payload?”

He started to toggle through, but the menus were still fidgeting with the systems.

“Sir. Something’s FUBAR. It’s all kinds of fucked. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Nosey thought. Things hadn’t been this FUBAR in his entire career. He’d dropped bombs, but dammit if he didn’t kill that many people. It never really hit him that his payload was kills. They were just explosions. If people got caught in the explosions, that was their problem, not his. Right?

“Gemini… We need to take ourselves out of the equation ASAP. We are currently piloting a missile. We need to eliminate this B-2 from the terms of engagement. We’re taking ourselves out of the sky.”

Gemini started to think about his life. About the creek in the backyard where he saved his brother from drowning.

“GEMINI, I need you to get your fucking head unscrewed from your ass. Do you copy?”

The creek was cold that day.

“GEMINI. DO YOU—”

“SIR YES SIR. We have to take ourselves out of the engagement.”

“I’m gonna start a climb. Prepare to eject.”

Nosey brought the engines back from full-throttle and yanked the jet into a vertical climb. The Gs hit both pilots in their turn upwards. Shoving a bird like a B-2 into a vertical climb wasn’t easy. They could feel every nut and bolt in the craft creak. They would catch up with gravity in a moment.

“We’re going to be climbing to almost 20,000 feet. This is a nosedive son.”

The cockpit was tense, silent, and shaking. The bolts were close to snapping completely. They were lucky not to lose consciousness. The craft climbed and climbed, before the damn thing came up to a tip.

Gemini remembered taking a date with him on the Top Thrill Dragster.

The Craft bent backwards, and started to fall, and gain speed, and gain momentum, and became a bomb. The bomber was the bomb, headed straight into the heart of Lake Erie, crashing faster than the Edmund Fitzgerald could’ve dreamed. Both pilots were amazed to see the entire Lake Erie coast. Both pilots were horrified to see the fiery smoke catching the breeze off the stadium.

“Impact in 98 seconds. Gemini. At 2000 feet, you will eject. Do you copy?”

Gemini thought his date was butt-ugly that day. He didn’t even leave the park with her.

“Impact in 75 seconds. Gemini do you copy?”

Gemini drove back solo that night from his date at Cedar Point. It was the ugliest storm he’d ever seen creep off Lake Erie with spider legs.

“Gemini, have you gone retarded?”

Gemini wondered if Great Lakes Brewery would ever name a beer after this craft. Edmund Fitzgerald got one.

“Gemini, if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it now.”

“Sir! I’m going down with the bird.”

Nosey turned and looked at his young co-pilot. Gemini had a professionalism to his face, one that the pilot could only admire in that desperate moment, eyeing his hand freshly off the “eject” lever.

“God speed, son.” Nosey offered his hand to Gemini. He gripped it one last time.