《Star Wars (Redone) - The Phantom Menace》Chapter 13: Wakko Wakko
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The past hour has been one disappointment after another. Not a single dealer has the slightest vessel in stock! Most of them are hardly friendly. Nobody listens to anything. Finally, the duo reaches a large oasis, protected by a huge wire fence. A dozen or so battle droids are posted to examine every passage. A small group waits. People are carrying basins in their arms. Some man with a hateful gaze is charging a fortune for a miserable liter of water. At the end of the fence is a huge warehouse, where the attentive observer can notice various vehicle components. A scrapyard? Perhaps a dealer. Obi-Wan and Padmé decide to check it out and quickly arrive at the entrance.
It's, obviously, a workshop. There are pieces of landspeeders and airspeeders scattered around. A hundred people are working, mostly children and a few droids. They smash, cut, weld and assemble continuously. A green astrodroid holds an electric stick. Is he supervising? So they are slaves. The poor fellows seem to have lost their taste for life. A bell goes off as soon as Padmé walks through the door. A tired young man looks up, then disappears down a hallway. Within a minute, he is replaced by a large, winged humanoid.
This creature must be ten feet tall! It looks like a cross between a reptile and a bird. It has two pairs of arms and two fleshy legs. The first pair seems to be covered with metallic feathers that form stunted, but majestic wings. The other pair, shorter, is covered with silver colored scales. Its eyes are both full of intelligence and vice. Its curved beak is sharp as a blade. Its clothes look as if they were tailor-made by a skilled craftsman. This kind of work must be expensive in such a remote place.
The creature approaches with a graceful and elegant step. Its floral scent is intoxicating. In an instant, it is in front of the little girl. The child is terrified. Obi-Wan has never seen her so frightened, despite all that has happened so far. The unfortunate kid is on the verge of collapsing. He wants to reach out and put his hand on her shoulder, to use his powers to help her, but an intuition tells him to stay away. The Force doesn't want him to act. Luckily, she regains her composure. The humanoid gauges her silently. Nuisance or customer? He opens his beak and says in a hissing, but clear voice:
« Mmmmmmmh! Customers? What can Wakko Wakko do to satisfy these two lovely customers? Landspeeder? Airspeeder? Droids? Blasters? »
« Starship. » Padmé interrupts, holding back as hard as she can from screaming.
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The poor girl is struggling to keep her cool. She is ashamed to be so afraid. Their host mustn't notice anything; that would be a sure way to get into trouble. Obi-Wan lets her negotiate without interfering, because the Force wants it that way. The last thing they need is to appear to be at odds with each other.
« Ship? Mmmmmmmh. Ship. Perhaps Wakko Wakko has something in stock. However, there are buyers. What are you going to offer to Wakko Wakko that will convince him? »
Padmé pulls out a gold strip from her pocket:
« We crashed a few hours away. I would like to pawn what's left of our vessel, with interest to your benefit, in exchange for a replacement vehicle. »
Wakko Wakko grabs the object delicately between his claws and drops it into the hands of a malnourished blonde teenager, whom he pushes away as if she were just some trash. The young girl runs towards a cupboard, from where she takes a plastic device and introduce the strip inside. The object lights up and projects a holographic representation of the royal yacht. The merchant observes this image out of the corner of his eye, without revealing the slightest expression, and then pulls out the gold strip to examine it. Holoscopic recordings always indicate the moment when the picture was taken. They are almost impossible to falsify. A useful piece of evidence.
« Mmmmmmmh. I'm willing to offer 200,000 Aureaus, but it won't be enough for... »
« You're only buying the hull, then. » Padmé cuts in again.
Her interlocutor stops talking. She continues:
« I can easily find buyers if I have to sell my ship for the price of her components. A pawn would bring in more money, but I'm not going to force you to take this deal. It's up to you! »
The little girl speaks without hesitation. Anguish transpires from her skin, but her courage is up to the task. This child did not become a queen by accident. It is not only her intelligence that is out of the ordinary: her strength of character too. Wakko Wakko is gigantic compared to her. He smiles with all his teeth. They look like razors.
« 870,000 Aureaus. This is the very generous offer from Wakko Wakko! He will ask for triple if you ever return to get the craft, of course. You have one month for that, after this delay, he'll get his money back on the market. Wakko Wakko agrees to give up his latest ship for the ridiculous sum of 600 000 Aureaus. Keep the change! Isn't that an amazing bargain? »
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« An honest deal... » She replies, aware that this is obviously theft.
The royal yacht was valued over twenty million Aureaus. The furniture alone would fetch at least a million. The girl sighs. She has no better choice. This is probably the last dealer in town. If no one has a ship here, trying to find a better offer elsewhere on this planet could take weeks, if not months. The little girl prefers to consent to this extortion with a nod of her head, so that she can address the next topic:
« One of my companions left behind needs to have his skin permanently wet, otherwise he will die. Do you have a solution for that? »
« Yes! Wakko Wakko is familiar with this problem. He offers you the required equipment for free, as a gesture of his good will. Is this acceptable for you? »
« That would be fine. »
« Very well, very well. Wakko Wakko is only happy when his customers are satisfied! »
The creature turns with an impressive movement. The slightest of its feathers could decapitate a grown man without effort. He hisses, then screams:
« Anakin! Start the cargo carrier! We have something to retrieve in the desert. »
Someone young replies with surprising confidence, almost in a tone of sarcasm:
« Yes, boss! It will be done, boss! »
The winged humanoid returns to face Padmé and stands there staring, waiting for something. What does he have in mind? The girl hesitates. He slowly shows his palm, as if the reason were obvious. Suddenly, she understands: he wants the coordinates of the vessel! The girl awkwardly takes out her geolocation tool and puts it in the shopkeeper's hand, who copies the important information onto a piece of bark with one of his claws. After that, he takes the piece of wood and walks towards a plasteel box, from which he tears off a cumbersome bag, then beckons the blonde teenager to bring this things to « Anakin ». She does so in silence. There is not a single expression on her face. Padmé hates herself so much for dealing with a slave owner... but the stakes don't allow her to do otherwise.
A rumbling sound is soon heard. It's the noise of a powerful thruster. Obi-Wan notices that an antique Oximen cargo carrier has just taken off. Its sorry state suggests that it could explode at the slightest impact. That's reassuring.
« Wakko Wakko takes his landspeeder to assist in the work. Would you like to come with him? »
« With pleasure. » Padmé replies.
« Mmmmmmmh! Wonderful! »
The young queen Amidala is not unhappy to save herself a walk back through the desert. She feels like she's forgetting something. Her terror has caused her to cut this conversation short. It's not a very serious attitude, but her courage is proving to be fragile.
« Padmé! » Obi-Wan whispers.
« Yes? »
« You... you didn't ask to see what we're buying. You didn't even try to find out what the model was! »
The kid feels like she's turning white. What an idiot! She takes her courage in both hands and asks:
« Wakko Wakko, what craft are you selling us? »
The interested party is searching his landspeeder for the keys, but turns his head with a big smile:
« A beautiful vessel! Just arrived! Corellian patrol ship. Wait... »
He raises his beak, pretending to think, then adds:
« Mmmmmmmh. Wakko Wakko wonders if this might be a C-21PI from the Republican Navy? Yes! Unluckily, you'll have to wait a few days for my mechanics to finish fixing it. »
The little girl doesn't know whether to rejoice or complain. A republican patrol ship? This kind of machine is fast enough to reach Coruscant in a day! But first they'll have to wait, and Naboo can't afford it.
« We are in a hurry! How long will these repairs take, exactly? »
« Wakko Wakko would say... everything will be ready for the day after the grand birthday party of our mighty Jabba! »
« Which means? »
The creature gets so close to the child that the poor girl almost faints:
« By the end of the week. This is not negotiable. In its current state, this thing couldn't even leave the system. You're lucky, Wakko Wakko have everything he need here to work fast! »
Obi-Wan exhales his frustration. The young man must think there's nothing better to say. They are stuck on this planet for a few days. It's good enough to have found a... wait a minute. How did a republican patrol ship end up here? The little girl suddenly remembers the crew, presented as slaves at the square, and realizes a terrible truth. The Jedi's clenched fists prove that he too has made the connection. He certainly suspected something all along. Padmé is terribly ashamed. The last thing she should do is accept this kind of...
« You did the right thing, Padmé. » Obi-Wan whispers.
His face is covered with an expression of cold anger. He finishes with a dry:
« We have more important matters to solve. »
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