During their first year together, Joachim once asked Ishumi why she became a Spellblade. He thought that with her unique abilities she would have excelled in subterfuge. Going through the general army's training ladder and signing on for Aleynonlia's black ops would have given her the exact same education and training she went through in the Spellblade Academy, and perhaps even further.

She agreed that her ability would facilitate escape. Or as she accurately put it, 'The art of running away'. But she wanted to be able to help people up front and not from the shadows. She said it was selfish, but she didn't want 'running away' to become her goal in life.

What a load of crap that turned out to be.

As Joachim raced through the thickets, those were all the thoughts that consumed him. She left him. She ran away from life. She wasn't just his translator. She was his best friend and she ran away from that. She did not even give him the chance to say how much she meant to him. She simply died. She simply because 'no longer there'.

The forests flew past him as he continued to run. Suddenly, a creature, a small brown animal, jumped across his vision, leaping from tree to tree. Shocked, he braked hard to stop but momentum carried him forward. A upturned root caught his foot and he flew across the forest floor, landing painfully on his chest and knocking the wind out of him.

How long had he been running?

Coughs finally escaped his trapped lungs and he breathed in deep for the first time, taking the dirt through his mouth. He turned onto his back, still choking, and looked to where he came from. The trees had long since overrun the view of the city walls. No visible foot path lead to and fro him.

Was he even heading in the right direction?

Slowly, he got to his feet. His legs were shaking with muscles weak from all the running. He tried desperately to slow his breathing but his body refused, shivering as if trapped in a blizzard. Water dripped onto the ground before him.

Was it raining?

No. He was simply crying. He wiped away his tears. He needed to move. The unspawns could have followed him. They could reappear at any moment and he needed to reunite with the others as soon as possible.

Oh Titans. The others.

How was he going tell them what happened to the rest of his party? How was he going to break the news to Lua of her brother's death? Pempe was also close to Kingston. And Shjacky was like a big sister to all of them. Was it his fault they all died? Will his friends blame him? And Enneya was numbered Nine. How was he going to protect her? How was going to console her? He wished Ishumi was there. She would know what to say.

He shook the uncertainty away as hard as he could and as much as possible. It was not the time for self pity and reflections. He needed to move. He looked to the sky and with the Twins as guides, he charted his course. Indeed, he had been running slightly too far east.

Step by slow painful step, he turned and continued his journey north. When he went to The Forest of the Dead with Ishumi and his class, the walk over was seamlessly quick compared to what he was going through alone. Each foot forward felt like two steps back. The cooling humidity stuck sweat uncomfortably to his shirt. Even the once freshening scent of nature only sought to further envelop him in the weight of the world.

Then, he heard a sound. Or more precisely, a voice. It was the familiar sing-song tone of Four-Chan. He spun in place, desperately trying to find a view through the grove of trees.

Where?

It sounded like it came from the front. If so, all he had to do was keep walking north towards their rendezvous point and they would likely meet up again. But the voice bounced, echoing from trunk to trunk. For a moment, it sounded like it came from behind him. Again he questioned if he had perhaps overshot the clearing in his mad daze.

He turned around to see if perhaps he had missed something.

A blur shot up towards him and he had just enough time to raise his arms in sacrifice to stop the unspawn hound from snapping away his throat.

The force tumbled him and he fell backwards into the dirt. The beast had strangely blunt teeth that gripped onto his forearm like a vice more than a bear trap. It felt strange, as if nothingness itself was attempting to crush him. But the force still hurt. His muscles pushed back against the clamping but would give way eventually, likely crushing his bones in the process. For a split second, he thought of how to signal Four-Chan for help, but realised that between the unspawn and himself, they were muted.

Rolling out of his back, he slammed the unspawn into the ground beside him with the full momentum of his body. Joachim clambered on top of it, the monster kicking feverishly, both of them wrestling in silence. He jammed his free hand under the hound's head and charged up his magic circuits. All his anger and frustration, sadness and grief, he poured all of it into the blast that ensued.

The mad eruption of wind caused the creature's whole head to vaporise, the remaining energy hitting Joachim in the chest and carrying him off his feet. He took off, flying until his back hit the trunk of a tree and he dropped painfully on his bottom. Stretches of his body hurt, all at once. Yet, he felt that the exterior pain did not match the suffering he felt within. He had to get back up. His body creaked and cracked as bones snapped back into place. He had to get back up. Ishumi. Shjacky. Quinton. Kingston.

He repeated their names in his mind.

Ishumi. Shjacky. Quinton. Kingston.

Slowly, back scrapping against the tree, he pushed himself onto his feet. Everything hurt. He wanted to stop for breath.

His fists balled and he stepped shakily away from the support of the trunk. He took a step forward, focusing on his feet. Another step. And another. Slowly, focusing on the ground, on each step as if they were individually the most delicate actions of his life. Step by step. Step by step. Step by step.

Step by step.

Ishumi. Shjacky. Quinton. Kingston.

Step.

By.

Step.

He wondered if there was a chance Ishumi was still alive. Could he have saved her if he had stayed behind and fought. No. She would have done everything in her power to make sure he got away safely either way. It was not right of him to put all the blame on her. They were both stuck back then. The two of them were locked in an impossible situation with impossible decisions, as were Shjacky, Quinton, and likely Kingston. She made the choice on their behalf because he balked. He wasn't able to lead them out of the hole and like so many events before, he held onto her hand as she guided him out.

Ishumi. Shjacky. Quinton. Kingston.

Step.

By.

Step.

She once told him that he reminded her of her brother, her younger brother who was mute and died during the war. But it was of course, impossible. His past, though fragmented, were fully accounted for. Her brother's disappearance were after his adoption. But even then, she had admitted she sometimes pretended he was her brother and filled in the gaps in their past as it brought her peace. For him, he sometimes imagined what life would be like in the family that gave him up. Perhaps he would have a sister of his own and she would be very much like Ishumi.

Ishumi. Shjacky. Quinton. Kingston.

Step.

By.

Step.

The sound of another crunching footstep stopped him walking. He looked up unto The Field of Losts. Before him stood the rest of his classmates, smiling at his return. Lua began jogging up to him but stopped, looking over his shoulders into the forest behind him in confusion.

One by one, their smiles frowned. Lua looked to him for answers and he could not hold back the tears that flowed from his eyes as he shook his head in silence. She clasped both hands over her mouth to stifle her cry as behind her, many of their classmates found they lacked the strength to stand and sat to the ground.

It was his fault. He could not save any one of their friends. He closed his eyes and hung his head low, ready for any punishment to befall him. They could scold him. They could hit him. They could kill him. Any and all of those reactions were fair.

He heard Lua's footsteps get closer and he held his breath, ready for a violent reaction.

She hugged him.

He cried harder.