Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro

12:00. Friday, Barra da Tijuca. That Friday afternoon was set aside for a unique moment. Always twice a year, Enzo went to the dentist. And, according to Vini, this could always lead to good laughs and much, much mess, since his friend had never been a big fan of dentists.

- Can't we postpone it until next week? - Enzo has already started.

- No, Enzo. - Vini quickly declined.

- Why? You know my teeth are perfect!

- Two things. First, that is not true. Second, you already asked me last week if the appointment could be postponed. Well, it can't!

- I have no idea what you are talking about! I do everything right. I brush my teeth, even when I am tired. I floss and rinse my mouth.

- Enzo, it's just a routine appointment. Stop the drama.

- I am not being dramatic!

Usually a phrase said by someone who was being dramatic.

- Great. Even the voiceover is against me. This day is going to be a total disaster.

After hearing Enzo's endless complaints, Vini waited for him at the gate of Lake. Vini said he would not accept delays or excuses. And, strangely punctual, Enzo showed up, wearing a black blouse and dark long pants.

- Why the dark clothes? Is your dentist a Metallica fan by any chance?

- I'm going to my funeral.

- Oh, stop being ridiculous. It's just a routine appointment.

- You don't have a brain in your head, do you? Dentists are gruesome places with sharp instruments! Surely some of these devices were used to torture people in the movie The Hostel.

- Did they have a dentist in the movie?

- Probably! Along with a psychiatrist and a university professor.

Vini didn't realize it at the time, but Enzo's useless chitchat managed to kill 10 minutes. Minutes that should have been dedicated to the walk to the doctor's office. Still, it could be worse.

On the way, Enzo did everything to go as slowly as possible. But he knew there was no hope. He would need a miracle or alternatively a fire. Still, he gave it a try. The miracle, obviously.

- Hey, do you consider chess a sport? - he asked.

- Yes, it is, - Vini answered.

Enzo remained silent and said nothing more.

- Why do you say? Don't you think it is?

- No, honestly. Sitting around and moving tiny pieces. Where is the athletic part? A guy weighing 200 kilos could run.

- Enzo, sports don't necessarily have to do with a person's weight. All right, chess is not exactly athletic, but it requires strategy and mental strength.

- What does this mean?

- That you are an idiot. Not just that, there is a difference between athletic sports and other sporting activities. Following your reasoning, yes, chess would not be a sport, but your view is completely wrong and could only have come from someone without the slightest perception of things and the world around him.

- I don't know why I talk to you.

- It was you who sought my opinion.

- Shut up, Vini.

- You shut up!

While crossing one of the perpendicular streets of the famous and main avenue of the neighborhood, the Américas Avenue, they were almost hit by a silver sedan vehicle coming from one of the adjacent roads.

- Son of a bitch! - Enzo complained.

The driver stopped beside Enzo. He rolled down his window and shouted at Enzo:

- Watch where you're going, kid!

Oh, Enzo wasn't going to let this go unnoticed.

- Sorry, I couldn't hear your Corolla hybrid shit, you asshole!

- Fuck you, you little shit!

- Go you, Greenpeace supporter, Corollatrash driver! Bunch of fucking morons!

- Enzo, come on! - Vini tried to pull his arm.

- Come here, you shitty! - The Corolla driver kept provoking him.

- I'm sick of this motherfucker, yet! - Enzo picked up a rock and threw it against the windshield.

Vini's eyes widened as he heard the shattering sound. The vehicle alarm started to go on and on. Everything indicated a disaster.

- Fuck! - Vini shouted. - Enzo, run!

Without wasting any time, Vini and Enzo rushed into the building where the doctor's office was located. They didn't even check to see if the owner of the vehicle was chasing them. Exhausted, they had to find the right address first. And it was impossible not to notice some details, such as the number of luxury vehicles, parking valets, fountains, and eleven buildings with various establishments.

- It's very fancy here. - Vini commented.

- Look, Vini, I have been here before. It's really refined, so try not to draw too much attention.

- Said the guy who threw a rock at a bloody Corolla.

- That bastard deserved it! Stupid hybrid cars that don't make a fucking sound! Even you in bed sounds more powerful.

- Whatever, you dummy, but quit fooling around. Go to your stupid appointment and then we' re leaving!

- You're not going there with me?

- Why should I? Want someone to hold your hand?

- Very funny. You suck.

That wasn't a "no".

- Italy cannot come. - Enzo justified. - She was going to accompany me.

- Did you appeal to Italy?

- Actually, I appealed to Russia.

- Oh, Enzo! All because of a routine dentist appointment?

- I told you not to make a fuss, Vini!

- Anyway, if you want me to go, then I will go. After all, you're going to whine anyway.

Enzo went to the receptionist and gave her his information. Luckily, she already had all his data, so he didn't even have to hand over his documents. Only one thing was missing.

- Vini, do you know where her office is?

Instead of replying, Vini remained silent. Enzo could not be so dim-witted as to imagine that Vini knew the location of a practice he had never been to. But as it turned out, Enzo was very dumb indeed.

- Enzo, I've never been to this place! How should I know? You are the one who should know!

- Oh, bugger. - Enzo whined and reached for his cell phone.

- What are you going to do?

- I have to appeal.

- Again? What now?

- Stop talking! - Enzo typed the number into the phone. - Hi, Italy. It's Enzo. Yes, yes, I'm fine. Could you do me a favor? Where is Dr. Luana's office? Uh-huh. Yup. Yup. All right, thanks.

Enzo turned off his cell phone. Vini waited for a positive outcome.

- She doesn't know. We're doomed.

- We? - Vini started laughing. - That's a good one.

Enzo didn't have many options. The least worst option was to accept defeat and go to the counter empty-handed.

- Hi - said Enzo, awkwardly. - I don't have the number.

- Do you know the doctor's name?

- Yes, I do. Dr. Luana. - Enzo replied.

- Oh, good! At least you got something.

- Be quiet, Vini!

- Seventh floor, room 123.

- Thank you.

Enzo ran out to the elevator and pulled on Vini's arm. There was a line to get in, but Enzo ignored the protocols and got in ahead of everyone else. Vini had to tolerate the evil looks from everyone for seven floors. As soon as the door opened, it was Vini's turn to pull Enzo's arm out of the elevator.

- Whew. - said Vini. - We escaped a whipping.

The next part of the mission was to find room 123. Enzo looked down the halls, they all looked the same.

- I can't find it. - Enzo concluded. - Maybe she got mixed up.

- Enzo. - Vini pointed to the only door in the back. 123, Vini hardly misses.

Nervously, Enzo pressed the bell button twice. The door opened and a three-eyed alien creature emerged on the other side. A clear light was coming out of the middle eye, and the side eyes were made of glass.

- Holy shit! - Enzo was startled and almost fell backwards.

- What is it, boy? - Dr. Luana didn't understand.

- Enzo is an ass. - Said Vini.

- You must be Vini. - The doctor removed her goggles and held out her hand to him.

- Yes, I am. - Vini confirmed. - I came to accompany him. I know how he feels.

- He's been like this since he was a child, can you believe it?

- Yes, I do. I'd be a fool not to believe it.

Vini escorted them into a more private room, with small windows and a view of the parking lot. Enzo lay back in his chair and waited for the doctor to tell him what he needed to do.

- Lie still, dear. I need to check your teeth using the ultrasound.

- Ultrasound? Are you going to have surgery?

- What? Enzo, the paste is the ultrasound.

And now Enzo was confused.

- What do you mean? Isn't ultrasound that device where you see the baby inside the mother's belly?

- Oh my God, I'm about to have an aneurysm. - Vini moaned.

- Hold still, Enzo. - The doctor ordered.

- I'm trying, doctor. But it's stronger than me.

- Trust me, doctor. He really has trouble controlling his tongue. - said Vini.

The doctor ignored Vini's mean comment and continued with her work. She went to her desk and picked up an instrument very similar to a pair of pliers, only with two hooks on each end. Enzo felt like having a stroke.

- Oh, shit! This shit could kill me!

- Enzo, I'm just going to remove the dirt from your teeth. Which we need to talk about.

- Is something wrong?

- Well, as you know, your face is very thin...

- I don't want to brag, Doc, but that's one of my qualities.

- I doubt it. - Vini cut in.

- Well, strength or not, your face is thin, but your dental arches are not.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- There's too many cars for too few parking spots.

- Oh, shoot. How bad is it?

- You will need to park some on the street. Or else some residents will have to sell their cars.

- Sell their cars? No, no, no, doctor. Selling is not an option.

- Is there no other option? Vini asked.

- Unfortunately not.

- How many cars are we thinking of selling?

- At least four.

- Holy smokes! Four? You're going to pull out four teeth?

- Relax, Enzo. For now, I won't do anything. But be warned, we'll have to deal with it in the future.

- What the heck! I want to die soon instead of losing four teeth!

- Relax, Enzo, it could be worse. - Vini tried to cheer him up.

- Smoke and mirrors! But thanks for cheering me up. - Enzo was ironic. - You failed by a lot.

- But, darling, that's it for today. - The doctor quickly put her belongings in her bag, in a hurry. - Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to leave as soon as possible.

- Did something happen? - Vini asked.

- Nothing, nothing at all. My husband was attacked by two kids. They threw a rock through his windshield.

Vini stared at Enzo, who said nothing. He just got up from the chair and ran towards the elevator, straight to the freedom of the outside world.