Shehryaar put the laptop away and picked up his phone.

"Hey, what's up, Mathew?" he said. Mathew was one of his good friends who went to college with him and they graduated together. He was a graphic designer, working for a well-run company. "How are you, man? It's been forever."

"I am good. When are you coming back, dude? It seems like you don't want to come back."

"It feels great to hear you. I am not exactly sure when I am coming back. Probably end of this month or the next. How's life? Work?"

"Well. I got promotion along with bonus pay."

"You're lying. That's awesome. Congrats." Shehryaar was really happy. He got out of bed and stood by the window. In the lawn, downstairs, Zafar was sitting with Saliha and Manal. They were talking.

"Thanks. When I heard this, I couldn't wait to tell you. Seriously without you....it's like I am missing a big chunk from my life."

"You might've thought that I was never coming back. But I will. It's just that....I want to spend some more time with my family. After all I am meeting them after so many years."

"That's great. Stay there as long as you want. But come back."

Shehryaar switched his phone to his other ear, looking down at the lawn. "Don't worry. I will."

"By the way what happened to your painting?"

"What painting?" Shehryaar concerned.

"I meant like how is your career going? You stay in contact with your clients and stuff?"

"Oh yeah. I already sold one in the exhibition since I came to Pakistan. I got two more projects right now. They will be done when I go back."

"You don't need to worry. You're all good. Your dad's business you know."

"Yeah. My dad is here these days. Soon he will go back."

"Cool."

"Where are you now?"

"Home. Watching TV."

"Did you visit your parents?"

There was a momentary pause. Then Mathew spoke, "no. Haven't from days."

"Then go. What are you thinking about?"

"Just been busy, and didn't get time."

"Why don't you go back to live with your parents? They must need you."

Mathew sighed. "Yeah, I know. But sometimes I think what if they don't let me. Like you know I left them and said I won't ever come back. What would they think?"

"It'll be alright if you apologize for once. You impetuously broke away. Now you've realized your mistake."

"If it was that easy."

Shehryaar breathed. "They raised you. Who knows you better than your parents. There is a possibility that they might accept your apology and let you live with them." He tried to convince his friend.

"Dad retired. Their only support in his pension. They don't accept my money. I feel bad. I don't know what to do. That's why I called you." He sounded sad.

"Just try."

There was no response. It was as if Mathew was thinking.

"You can invite them over to your house and tell them about it. Just do it before it gets too late."

"I am hopeless. But I will try."

"That's good. And don't feel low. You are actually helping to end this gap."

"Okay then. I will talk to you later. Don't forget to call back too."

"Bye." Shehryaar ended the call. He held the phone in his hand and pondered.

Today was a good day to talk about it. Zafar was sitting in the lawn, and Saliha was there too. Whatever would happen, happen. If he had to say in front of Saliha that he liked her. He would. It was better to tell now then later.

He logged out of his email, shut down the laptop and put it for charging. His heart was beating faster. He was little hesitant. But that was what he had been doing. Waiting for the right time. And now it was. He had to gather courage and say it. It wouldn't do him wrong. For how long could he wait? He went down.

Saliha was pouring cup of tea when he approached them. She didn't appear as upset, as if she was slowly accepting the fact whatever happened, happened for good. Manal who was sitting close to her, smiled at Shehryaar. Zafar was busy reading Dawn newspaper.

"Here, Zafar." Saliha gave the tea. She plainly avoided Shehryaar.

Zafar folded the newspaper in half and took off his reading glasses. He reached forward to get this tea.

"Shehryaar, you? I didn't even realize you were here," he said.

"Just now." Shehryaar was little jittery.

"Now all we are missing is Zoha. If she came here, then it would be complete." Zafar sipped tiny bit of hot tea.

"We should call her too," Manal said, looking happy.

"Yes yes, why not," Zafar said.

"Who is gonna call her?" She looked at Shehryaar.

"Manal, I think she is busy. We shouldn't bother her," Shehryaar said.

"At least for a little bit. It won't take much of her time," she insisted. "And plus it would look bad if we are all sitting here and she is inside alone."

"Manal is right," Zafar said. "Shehryaar, why don't you call her?"

Shehryaar was called at the spot. "Me?"

"Yes, you."

"I mean, daddy, I feel like we are bothering her. Probably she is studying."

"We'll go and ask her first. If she is busy, then come back." Zafar took another sip of his tea.

Shehryaar got up with uncertainty. He didn't want Zoha to be here when he talked about her to Zafar. Then Saliha would have a wrong impression on Zoha, thinking she was the one who led to the break up of Faiza and his engagement, which was not true. Zoha was innocent as a newborn. She advised him not to do that. But he still did. And who knew about this better than him? Surely not Saliha.

He went inside and thought to head to the study room, where she was found most of the time. He walked over to the room, stood and gave it a thought. Maybe I should tell her about it.

He knocked at the door, and took a step back. After couple of seconds, she didn't open. So he knocked again, and waited longer. No response then either. He realized she wasn't in the room. He grasped the door knob and twisted. It opened, meaning she wasn't in there. He looked inside. It was empty. Then he tried her bedroom. Before he knocked the second time, she opened, wearing white prayer scarf.

"Yes?" Zoha said, surprised.

"You're busy?"

"I was praying."

"Are you doing something else?"

Zoha shook her head, puzzled.

Shehryaar stayed quiet. He contemplated, twiddling his fingers.

"What happened?" Zoha noticed. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everything is okay," he said. "I just came to ask if you are busy or not."

Zoha looked at him, with unsatisfied look. She didn't seem to understand what was going on.

"Then why do I think there is something else you want to tell me."

"Actually everyone was calling you to come down in the lawn."

"Oh," Zoha said. "I would but I have something to do after namaz and Quran. Were they insisting?"

"It's alright. You can carry on," he said. Then turned away to leave.

"Wait," she said.

Shehryaar stopped and looked at her again.

"What is it?" she asked.

"What?"

"Say it. I won't mind. It feels like you are hesitating to say something."

"I was thinking...." He grabbed her hand. "To talk about me and you to daddy."

"Me and you?"

"Haan. I have been wanting to talk about it from days. But circumstances didn't let me. Now I will. I don't want this to be hidden for any longer."

The ease on Zoha's face drained out.

"Yes. It is exactly what you are thinking. I am serious."

"So you will-"

Shehryaar put his hand over Zoha's mouth, without touching her lips.

"Nothing will happen. Stop fearing. I am here."

Zoha's eyes were wide. She didn't speak.

"I can't imagine my life without you," he said. "That's why I thought about this." He then let her hand go. "I have always listened to my heart. And this time my heart is telling me to do this. If I don't. I don't know what will happen."

He withdrew his hand from her mouth and took a step back. "I am gonna go now. I will tell daddy that you were busy, just in case if someone asks."

When he went down, Manal looked at him with optimism. Her eyes were bursting with questions. Zafar was too engrossed in his newspaper to even feel the shuffle on his side.

"Where is she?" Manal asked.

"I told you she is busy. We shouldn't have bothered," he said. "Well anyways."

"Oh." Manal sounded low. "I wish she came."

"Maybe after she is done with her exams. She will be able to spend some more time with us." Shehryaar interlocked his fingers and looked at Zafar. He thought over and over about saying this. He wondered, how could he all of a sudden introduce this topic. Daddy has no idea. He doesn't know that I love Zoha and want to marry her. Mummy has been all upset. He looked at Saliha. What worse can happen? She will take it the wrong way and begin suspecting Zoha for all the wrong things.

He internally pushed himself. I don't care about anything now. I am tired of keeping this. I will say it.

"Daddy?"

Newspaper covered Zafar's face. "Yes? I am listening."

"It's important. Can I get your undivided attention?"

Saliha was alarmed.

Zafar pulled off his reading glasses and folded the newspaper in half. "What is it?"

Shehryaar once glanced at this mother, as she pointedly gazed at him.

"I wanted to talk about this from days," he began. His Adam's apple slid down this throat. "But I didn't get a chance. Before I begin telling, I want to tell that I never hide things from you both. Whatever is the truth, I tell you."

"What are you going to tell us that you have to prepare us so much?" Saliha said, stern.

"I feel like if I tell you, you will take me wrong, which I don't want you to think," he addressed mostly to Saliha.

"We are not gonna take you wrong. Don't be afraid," Zafar said.

"I...I like Zoha and I want to marry her," Shehryaar said.

"What?" Saliha reacted in disbelieve.

"You like Zoha?" Zafar said. His reaction was much calmer than Saliha. But he was blasted with astonishment too.

Manal was confounded. She sat frozen in the wheelchair.

"Jee, daddy. I believe that you won't take me wrong. And I don't think I have said something sky-ripping. Can't this be possible?"

"How could you even think that?" Saliha scorned. "You should have thought one more time before you said it."

"Saliha, calm down. You start screaming about everything. Let him talk," Zafar raised his voice.

"I was expecting this reaction," Shehryaar said.

"Beta, are you that serious about this? You really want to marry Zoha?"

Shehryaar couldn't differentiate the shock from confusion on Zafar's face.

"Yes, daddy."

"But, Shehryaar, you chose Zoha after all of this?" Saliha asked nastily.

"Mummy, think. What is bad about Zoha? Why do you think like that about her?"

"You guys grew up together. That way she is suppose to be your sister."

"Stop, mummy! " Shehryaar got up. "She is my cousin. Our relationship was never like that. How could you?"

"Saliha, be quiet. Don't speak into this anymore," Zafar reprimanded. "Beta, sit down. Relax. You know your mummy." He sat Shehryaar down. "And you don't say anything." He warned Saliha.

"Daddy, why is it so surprising for you?" Shehryaar was disgusted by his mother. He hated the fact that she called Zoha his- It was enough. He couldn't think further than that.

"It's just that we never seen you and Zoha get this close. I couldn't imagine it." Zafar spoke reservedly.

Shehryaar was mad.

"When did you think of this?" Zafar asked.

"Not long ago."

"You really are interested?"

"I am not some impulsive teenager falling in love, not knowing what's wrong and what's right. I know what I am doing and what came out of my mouth."

"Okay okay." Zafar put his hand on Shehryaar's shoulder. "Does Zoha know about this? Or it's all one sided?"

"At first it was."

"What a clever girl she is. All this was happening and we didn't know a single thing about this," Saliha interfered.

"Saliha," Zafar said.

"It's not a sin to like someone. And if I was wrong, I wouldn't have come like this to talk about it."

"I know you are not wrong, beta. You did the right thing by telling us."

"And let me address that no one is gonna say anything to Zoha. Mummy, don't blame her for any of this."

"Whatever happened, don't let Zoha know about this. She will be upset," Zafar told everyone, even directing his message to Manal, who didn't say anything in the entire matter. "I myself will talk to her."

"Since when did you start liking her?" Saliha intervened.

"I don't like the way you are talking to me," Shehryaar said.

"Did you break engagement with Faiza because you liked Zoha?"

"I was never ready to marry Faiza. You forced me into it."

"Saliha, why do you always look for ways to make big deal out of everything? It's starting to bother me a lot," Zafar said. "There was this Faiza thing first and then Manal. Now this. Can't you ever deal with things sensibly?"

Saliha scoffed. She rolled her eyes from Zafar, showing that whatever he said was nonsense and stupid.

"Daddy, I am gonna go inside." Shehryaar got up and headed away from the wrangle.

*****************************************

Zoha was fidgety. She was extremely nervous. Her mind kept replaying the words Shehryaar said to her. Yes. It is exactly what you're thinking. I am serious. It meant that he knew she was expecting this. He was going to talk to Zafar about their proposal.

What is everyone going to think? Bari ammi? Will she agree with this? What will she think? It would seem like I was the one who broke the engagement between Faiza and Shehryaar. She will blame me because that's what she does all the time. But there is baray abu this time. He knows who I am and I can't do anything like this. He will tell bari ammi that she shouldn't blame me. Everyone knows the truth.

Zoha took a deep breath. She shook her head and said, "Shehryaar knows about it after all. I shouldn't be afraid." She told herself to be strong and abandon the fear. Thinking too much about one thing made her scared and assume things that were far from being the reality. She had to focus on what was happening at the moment. That was it.

She got up from the bed, unwrapped her prayer scarf and folded it. It was nearly night. Sun had set already. She thought to read Quran the next day and for the time being finish her last assignment.

Her textbook was sitting on the bedside. She had to read five pages and outline it. But her focus was gone; she couldn't think away from the thought of Shehryaar. He was there, real, tangible; she could feel his presence near her, his warm hand gripping her hand. She closed her eyes. He is not there. He is not there. I am just imagining it.

When she opened her eyes, there was nothing. She was alone sitting on bed with textbook in her lap.

***************************************************