I had awful nightmares. But instead of my sisters and Etai I dreamt of Caerus.

Caerus drawing the whip down.

Caerus sneering at me as he distributed each lash with increasing brutality.

Caerus leaving me on the ground to die.

I screamed and cured through the night. I called out for him. Begging him to stop. Or to come save me.

Yet he never came.

When morning came, my back was sticky with sweat and I was exhausted. But now I could see the room.

It wasn't familiar in the slightest.

The four poster bed was made of dark ebony. Silks of charcoal and blacks and greys draped down around the posts and over the bed in a canopy like a starless night.

The sheets were the darkest and shifted beneath me like black mercury. I wiped away the tears on my cheeks and scanned the room.

Two bay windows sat on either side of the bed and let cool morning light filter in between the black drapes.

My lip trembled as I wrapped the thick blankets around my shivering body.

"Caerus?" I croaked, knowing he wouldn't answer, "Caerus p-please don't leave me."

I let out a shuddering sob and buried my face in my knees. My back disgusted me. I couldn't bear to think of it when he had such a... bad reaction. Maybe it was worse than I thought it was. Callista tried her best to patch it up when I was caught.

But I'd never seen the real extent.

I felt so conflicted. I wanted to see Caerus. I wanted him to tell me he didn't care.

But last night...

I didn't want to see him, either. I didn't want him to yell or say bad things or look at me with pity.

The door clicked and before he even walked in I opened my mouth.

"Get out," I seethed and pulled the blanket closer, "get out, Caerus. I don't want to see you."

"Kellen, please-"

"Go away! I don't want to see you ever again," I ducked under the covers in an effort to hide from him. I was afraid that if I looked then I'd start crying all over again.

"Please, Kell, I'm sorry," he pleaded and I could hear his boots clicking against the floor. I pulled myself closer.

"Don't call me Kell, you have done nothing to deserve that," I spat and squeezed my eyes shut.

"You didn't seem to have no problem with it last night," he whispered without sounding malicious in the slightest, but it was not the right thing to say to me right now.

"Go away, you are such a prick, Caerus, I can't believe I-" I choked on the words.

I can't believe I trusted you. Trusted you enough that I pleasure you like that.

"Kellen," he sighed and I cringed away from him as his hand ran down my back.

"Don't you dare touch me," I snarled and slid away from him.

"Kellen, Kellen, I just want to make you feel better," his voice dropped lower when he said my name and I almost caved.

"You're already making me feel worse," I hissed in response but let out a help when he reached his hand under the covers and jerked me out from under them.

"St-stop! I don't have any trousers on, Caerus!" I begged, even though he already knew since his hand was latched onto my bare thigh.

"I've seen all of it, Kellen," Caerus murmured and placed his hands on either side of my head. I still pulled the blankets over myself and glared at him.

"You'll never see it again," I hissed, "no more kisses, no more touching, no more anything."

"I know I shouldn't have run away like that, I'm sorry Kellen, I just... I didn't know what to do," Caerus admitted and leaned closer to me. My stomach clenched in fear and anticipation.

"Leaving me alone in the dark should not have been an option," my throat tightened and I was terrified I'd start crying in front of him.

"I shouldn't have, Kell, but it brought back memories that I'm terrified of," he admitted and I was surprised he was afraid of anything.

"Then if I repulse you just say it," my voice was barely above a whisper as Caerus drew closer.

"You don't repulse me, you've never repulsed me," he murmured and kissed both of my eyelids. I didn't bother arguing when he pulled my thighs around his waist and peppered my face in kisses.

I was too shocked to speak. All these years I thought everyone hated them. I thought they'd think it was bad and disgusting.

I thought they were bad and disgusting.

I placed my hands on the sides of his face and played with his auburn hair. It was insane how easy it was to forgive him. I don't know what he did, how he did it, but I didn't actually like being angry with him.

"I liked touching you, Caerus," I admitted even as a blush crept up my neck. He stilled and looked down at me in mild alarm

"What?" He answered, his voice hoarse, and brushed his thumbs over my cheek.

"Don't make me say that again," I groaned and scrunched my eyes closed in embarrassment, but that cocky grin was back.

"And what did you like about it, Kell?" Caerus mused and kissed my neck. "You still have it all over your face."

I blushed hard at that, because that was very much one of the things I liked.

"Caerus," I whined and turned my head away from him.

"Don't make me pull the master card, tell me what you like," his voice was deep and husky in my ear and I caved completely.

"I like it in my mouth," I choked out, I liked how it felt and how it made him feel good. "I like it... on my face."

"Oh? How naughty of you, Kellen," Caerus whispered and began to unbutton my shirt. He went unbearably slow for two reasons.

One, to tease me.

And two, to leave me time to stop him if I didn't want it.

"Master Caerus," I breathed for no other reason than I simply wanted to. His grip on my tightened as he remove the last button and slid my shirt off.

He lifted me off the bed and I dug my fingers into his broad shoulders.

"Caerus! What-"

"Hush, you need a bath for the party tonight," Caerus murmured and nuzzled his face in my neck.

"It's tonight?" I blinked as he began to walking and tried to discreetly cover myself from him.

"Yes, which means we have to go over rules, Kellen," he looked me in the eye, "and you have to follow them or something very bad may happen to you."

"I'm able to follow rules, Caerus, sometimes they just annoy me," I would've crossed my arms but the were busy covering my privates.

"That's what I need to talk about, you might not like some of them," he warned and sat me on the marble counter. I shivered as he began filling the tub with warm water.

"What... are the rules?" I was becoming increasingly worried, I sincerely hoped I wouldn't have to do anything embarrassing.

"First of all, don't leave my side. At all, this is important because if you get lost I won't be responsible for what happens to you," Caerus said and I wondered what exactly we were going to.

"What will happen?"

He stared me down.

"Let's just say that when you tell them no, they will not stop," he warned and a chill ran up my spine. Caerus scooped me up again and dipped me into the water. I let out a quiet yelp as it burned against my skin.

"Secondly, you have to do whatever I say. I might very well have you do things you don't want to, but at these parties it's all about obedience," he explained further, "people bring their lovers, their slaves, those indebted to them. It's a game, Kellen, it gets competitive.

"Don't eat or drink anything. It's all drugged, not enough to affect an immortal much, but for you... that might not be the case."

"Okay," I murmured and curled my knees to my chest, this was slightly more terrifying than I thought it would be.

"And do not play the games," Caerus caught my jaw in his hand, "do not play the obedience games, no matter what you're told. Don't."

"Yes, master," I squeezed my arms around myself.

"No, no, Kell, I'm not saying this to scare you," Caerus whispered and ran his hand down my neck, "but I'm serious, it's dangerous for you."

"I'll listen Caerus," I promised, because, to be honest I was afraid not to.

"Good, now you need to wash your face," he grinned in reference to the cum still all over me. I blushed and nodded as he left the room.

I scrubbed it away before the same four women from before came in. I blinked but allowed then to scrub me down just like the first night. Although the soap was different this time, floral and calming.

Once they'd finished brushing and washing my hair, I was dried off and doused in sweet smelling lotions and oils.

My skin felt softer than ever as they put me in a robe and began working on my nails which had accumulated a lot of dirt after working in the gardens day after day.

They began coating my nails in a clear shimmering substance and with every stroke I could feel my masculinity slipping away.

Worst of all, they waxed all of my hair.

All. Of. It.

Even the places that should not be waxed.

Except for my head, thankfully.

Then they pulled me into another chair and began braiding and combing and styling my honey gold hair. I sat still and quiet as they wove a flower crown of poppies and laurel leaves into my hair.

Worst of all were the clothes.

Dark blood red robes with a real gold band strapped around the middle. I stood patiently as they clothed me, embarrassing enough, it reached just below my mid thigh.

Two matching gold clips held it together at my shoulders and thankfully covered my entire back. The belt was pulled taught around my midsection and made my hips seem wider with the way the dark cloth billowed around them.

I thanked them each as they left and felt my cheeks redden since all of them had seen me naked multiple times.

I walked back into the main room and plopped down on the dark bed, smoothing out the robes in an attempt to cover myself.

The door clicked and I shot up as Caerus stepped inside. He looked up at me and stopped dead in his tracks.

"I'm not going to be able to keep my hands to myself," he breathed and stared me down from head to toe, his voice was taught when he spoke again. "I want to fuck you so bad, gods, I'd take my time with you."

Caerus slid his hands down my waist and pressed his lips over mine. It was in no way gentle or sweet. He was aggressive.

His tongue slid against mine as he pressed my body into his own. I whimpered quietly and twisted his shirt in my fingers.

Caerus slid his hands over my backside and began pushing them under the robes. I gasped and clasped my hands over his wrists.

"I'm not wearing anything underneath!" I squeaked but his didn't move his hands.

"Oh I am not going to make it through this party," he groaned and pressed his lips to my neck. "May I ask why you are teasing me in such a terrible way?"

"Undergarments would show since the robes are too short," it's what one of the women had told me. Caerus gave me a sly grin.

"I have just the thing," I did not want to know what this thing was. But before I could protest, Caerus threw open the closet door and rummaged around for a moment.

He came out brandishing women's underwear.

No. No. No.

"Caerus, no. I'm not wearing those," but he'd already pushed me into the bed. I blanched as he began sliding them up my legs. "I- please let me do that."

"I'll be letting you do a lot of things," he murmured and secured the undergarment around my hips. I blushed and covered my face as he pulled the robes back down. "And now, it's time to go."

I don't think I was ready for the disaster I was about to attend.