Sitting on the soft comfortable wedding bed, covered in red sheets as an auspicious sign of happiness and celebration, Jae-in remained in an elegant sitting manner with a heavily decorated hair made of real gold and heavy pearls.

A red veil that covers her head as part of the religious wedding ceremony, only to be removed by the husband that will mark as the start of a loving marriage. She has been sitting on the bed for 6 hours, with little or no intake of food or water, again as part of the ceremony rules.

However, unlike the first time where she is filled with happiness and anticipation, this time round she is much more calm and cool-minded. No longer in a state of looking forward to any sort of expectation for her blissful married life.

Yes, that's right, this is the 2nd time she is going through the wedding ceremony.

The first time, when she married Xuan Yi, oh no she meant Xuan Di, it was a simple wedding ceremony held at her hometown along the borders of Xuan.

Leaving her hometown to start a new life with her love, reaching the Capital of Xuan, only to realise that the man she is married to is no ordinary man, holding an astonishing identity of a crown prince of Xuan Kingdom.

She still remember the day of their first wedding night, the moment he lifted the veil, the cold and emotionless face that he gave her shuddered with chills. Unsure why he react this way, all Jae-in could do is to stare at him with an unsure face.

"From now on, you are my wife. But, I hope that you can respect the lines of boundaries that I set for you. For tonight, you shall sleep on the floor while I sleep on the bed."

No consummation took place and she accepted his rules.

Believing that the reason of his actions might be due to the unfamiliarity between the two of them, Jae-in vowed to treat her husband even better to not let him down. During the trip back to Capital of Xuan, the distance that he put and the number of ladies throwing themselves to him everywhere they go, made her almost went insane.

But, she endured everything and did not act unreasonably.

Until that night where he met a lady called Xue Qing, a childhood friend of his, in one of the cities that they passed by before continuing their trip. The actions and treatment he gave her is so different as comparison of the heaven and earth.

She even proposed to travel together with them back to Capital of Xuan, and for the very first time in her life, she experienced the ugly feeling of jealousy. It was also the first time she shouted at Xuan Di to express her jealousy and possessiveness she had over him.

"I dislike the feeling of you looking at other woman. I dislike the uncomfortable feeling of you spending time with some other woman that is not me. I am your wife and I hate how you are not fully mine. You are mine!! You must never be alone with another woman without me."

In return, he gave her a passionless look and ended with a sentence.

"If you want to stand beside me, you have to be worthy."

A lightning strike in Jae-in, realising the love journey that she pursue is not going to be an easy one. Never once did she stopped and think maybe he isn't the one for her, instead, blaming it on herself.

'That's right, I will need to work even harder to be beside him.'

Slowly adapting to the cold treatment she received while using warmth methods to warm up his cold heart, enduring the skills to be learn in the palace by the training ladies, the belittling eyes from the palace eunuch and ladies as Xuan Di did not visit her chamber once since they moved into the palace.

After 2 months of living in the palace, Jae-in received an announcement of their wedding ceremony, which officially announce her title of Empress Jae, the Empress of Xuan. Luxurious and extravagant ceremony with clothings that matched her title, but this ceremony felt as though it is just another wedding to go through and be done with.

After waiting for hours in the wedding room, Jae-in knew Xuan Di's position and attitude towards her. If only she woke herself from this fairytale dream, maybe she could have escaped the life to be spend in the cold palace or the devil-like cells in the dungeon.

Removing the red veil herself, Yu-ji who stood by her immediately stopped her Missy's action.

"Empress Jae! You are not allowed to remove the veil by yourself! It is to be removed by your husband!"

Walking towards the dressing table, she slowly remove the hair pins and the heavy wedding gown. Finally free from the heavy weight that her hair holds, she stretched her arms and neck.

Tucking herself comfortably in the bed, she dismissed Yu-ji to leave the room and soon she is left all alone.

"Goodnight Xuan Di, I love you." With a single tear shed from the side of her eyes, disappearing into the pillows.

A startling awakening shook Xuan Di from the dream he had. A vision of the past with Jae-in that he had forgotten came back in a form of a dream. Sitting upright on his bed, he starts to recall what he saw.

It is a vision of the past that's right, but he is seeing it from a different perspective, a perspective of Jae-in. Especially the wedding night for the 2nd ceremony that they had, since he never stepped into the wedding night room, he never knew despite the treatment he gave her, she still continued to say 'I love you'.

The face that she made when she said that sentence, it is obviously in pain and desperately holding onto what she said as the drive to continue her life with the chosen path. He knew that his attitude towards her will determine her future fate in the palace, but he never knew what she has gone through behind closed doors.

Never once heard her complain to him about the unfairness that she had suffered.

Feeling uncomfortable with a rising anger within him about the facts of her untold stories, he stood up from the bed and changed into his official attire, leaving the inn so to continue his journey.

With everything being settled by Wu Er, he is patiently waiting outside of the inn with the horses that they will be riding. Seeing his master leaving the inn and properly dressed, Wu Er bow and greet Xuan Di.

"Master, we are ready to go."

In a single clean movement, Xuan Di hop onto the horse and gallop his way to the destination he set with Wu Er following closely behind.

'What is the reason for me to dream of these?'

On the same morning, in Qi Yuan manor, Jae-in woke up with cold sweat forming on her forehead. Opening her eyes abruptly, she observed her surrounding and realised she is still in Qi Yuan's manor.

Heaving a sigh of relief, for a moment she was afraid that she went back to the past again, once more going through that humiliating moment of her life. Closing her eyes to calm herself down, taking in a few breath to calm her racing heart.

'What is this dream about?' Jae-in wondered.

As Yu-ji is still having her day off, Jae-in dress herself up, not needing any help from the maids as she is one independent woman. Casually wearing a light purple skirt that ties firmly on top of her chest, accompanied with a light blue colored see-through material as an outerwear.

Once done, she half braid her hair casually and head to her favourite place in her given quarters. Qi Yuan knew that Jae-in likes to read and practise martial arts, so he specially create a space for her to study, and an outdoor space with a flowery garden that connect them together.

Using the tank of water on the side, she head out the garden to water the flowers. The place she is living right now, feels like paradise. A place free from games and a bomb shelter to protect herself against any attacks from the outside.

However, the dream that she had reminded her of the reality that she forgotten ever since she reached Kai Kingdom.

'Can I just live in Kai Kingdom forever?' She thought.

'No, you can't. Eventually you need to leave to continue your own life.' Her rational side reminded her.

'But, where can I go? I no longer have a home to return to ...'

'You are wrong, you have a home. Have you forgotten about father?'

With the thought of father and brother, Jae-in eyes lit with yearning for the family that she abandoned, but soon dimmed down with hesitation.

'If I were to go home, they will be in trouble.'

'So are you going to be a coward to escape like you did for 2 lives? Not paying your respect and facing your sin of ruining your family because of your selfish wants?'

'No no ... I will not run away.'

Being lost in directions for the past few months, a new resolution is born.

'I shall head back home.'

*

*

*

Resting her overly used body for the past few days, Yu-ji has recovered from the cold and fever, thanks to the overly attached Qing Feng. Every single hour he is beside her, taking care of her body, ensuring that she takes her medicine that he brew personally.

But, her body ache still needs time to recover.

Every night Qing Feng will stay over despite her rejections, protecting her beside her bed, which stirs gossips within the servants of Qi Yuan manor. Unable to withstand the drastic change in attitude from Qing Feng, she finally reach her limit.

She is not going to deny, she is very angry that he took her innocence that night without her permission despite her pleas, but a side of her reasoned that it was not intentionally.

He is also a victim in this situation.

Yu-ji recalled the next day when she woke up, the moment she saw Qing Feng beside her, she immediately sit upright and slapped him hard on his left cheeks, leaving a red hand mark.

Expecting him to pull out his sword to kill her once and for all, surprisingly Qing Feng look at her with a regretful and guilty eyes, seeking for forgiveness.

"If you want to slap me a few more times to appease your anger, please go ahead. Do not leave any mercy."

Then, Qing Feng closed his eyes, kneeling both knees on the floor, preparing to receive the slaps he anticipated for.

Yu-ji is a very soft-hearted woman, despite the unwillingness to accept the fact that the man she always remind herself to hate stole her virginity, she is a rational woman who knows that the situation for that night was unfair for both him and her.

Not willing to lay a hand on him, she let down her hand and sigh, with tears of anger running down her face.

"Now .... Tell me what happened that night."

Then, Qing Feng started to share with her every single details of that night and also his unwanted true feelings of how he felt during their sexual intercourse.

"So when I entered you, I felt a sense of .."

"STOP, I DID NOT ASK FOR THAT KIND OF INFORMATION."

"But, you want to know what happen that night."

"Yes, that's right. But I was conscious that night and I know what happened." Yu-ji gritted on her teeth as she recalled that foreign thing of his piercing through her.

"But you lost conscious halfway through so you might not know the full st..."

"STOP RIGHT THERE! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR WHAT HAPPEN BETWEEN US!"

Yu-ji face is now beet red with shyness and embarrassment while Qing Feng enjoyed the view of his woman being so bashful. Using his rough fingers, he reach out to wipe the tears that she shed.

"You know I will never forgive you for stealing my innocence, even though you are also a victim."

Qing Feng look at her teary eyes, filled with unwillingness as she lost something so precious to someone like him.

"I know. That's why from now, I shall repent on my mistake and seek for your forgiveness"

Looking away from this man who have such deathly attacks to her heart with his good looks, Yu-ji calm herself down.

"Promise one thing, don't ever let my Missy know what happened."

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Jae-in - 司南閣漢服

Jae-in Quarters