Natural. It was starting to feel more natural here. I started considering this place my home. It didn't take too long for me to adapt to the environment, but I was afraid that I'd get too attached and never want to leave. For now, I stayed in my chamber. My bed was the most comfortable place I could ever be in, next to the composed melody of Hua Er's guqin. The season was starting to change. The white noise of the crackling fire was lessening, and without Hua Er's guqin, I indulged in the silence of my chamber. 

The topic of the Empress was never brought up again. She continued to despise me and I said cheeky things to the Emperor just to spite her. It was a silent feud between us. I'd like to say that both of us kept it that way to benefit ourselves. Dong Mei was someone we never brought up but everyone here was raving about how she was going to give birth soon. It could be today, or tomorrow, or in a week. Predictions were rarely accurate considering the fact that this was ancient times. 

"Ying Yue," the guqin stopped playing and Hua Er's eyes glistened. "Can we be able to look at the flowers today? Or will you be busy?"

"Of course we can. This book was getting boring anyway." I replied, tossing the book on the side of my bed. I yawned. Reading about ancient Chinese medicine was like reading a math textbook. I hopped out of bed and let out a big stretch, moaning loudly to assert my dominance in case the palace women heard me. As Chen Xi and my youngest maid in which I kept on forgetting her name, Fen Ai, placed the hanfu over my head. 

Fen Ai broke her silence. "Milady, why do you never bother to wear clothes in your chamber?" 

Hua Er chuckled. "Leave her alone, Ying Yue is just preparing for when the Emperor walks in on—"

"Don't say anything you'll regret, Hua Er." I interrupted, maintaining a straight face. But as Hua Er gave me a teasing look, I cracked a smile. 

My body felt more lightweight, more free, free because the breeze was finally rubbing against my skin. It was time to ditch the fur coat and heavy winter attire. No more coal burning, shivers under thick blankets, and finally, a chance to truly blossom. Flowers were blossoming, bright, vivid colours were coming to life.

Pollen. There was also pollen.

"Achoo!" My eyes tightened and my body was firm. 

Snoopy giggled. "Milady, you have seasonal allergies?"

I rubbed the bottom of my nose furiously, sniffling a couple of times. "Ah... Yes, I do. I get used to it after a week or two. My nose simply gets stuffy and itchy. I'm just very glad my eyes don't itch and get red." 

As Hua Er and I walked through the gardens, I felt content. It was refreshing. The winter was moody, blue, and dark. There was nothing eventful. I stayed in the dark most of the time, usually dying of boredom. I feel as if, spring, could be a season of wonder, a new season to discover the beauty of the Imperial Palace. 

"Can you smell the flowers, Ying Yue?" Hua Er asked. 

I heard her deeply inhale the pink flowers next to me. I refused to step close to it. I shook my head. "I am against breathing in the flowers. If I do, I'm afraid I might die right here."

She laughed. "I apologize. I forgot."

A concubine was walking towards us, and it was soon to be revealed that it was Su Yin. She looked different, a sense of fatigue, but additionally, increased maturity on the face. When coming face to face with her, she bowed to me. She slightly stumbled but kept her head down. The top of her head faced me. 

"Please do not, you're pregnant." I rushed to help her upper body up. My eyes caught on the slight bump on her stomach. A rush of emotions I couldn't explain was electrifying my thoughts but I maintained strict eye contact with her. Su Yin's eyes drooped low and there was darkness forming under her eyes. I wonder what this pregnancy put her through. The way she handled herself was fantastic. The Empress stayed clear of her, meaning she didn't regard her as a competition or an opposing enemy. This was good news for Su Yin. In a way, it could be vaguely degrading.

"Sister, I haven't seen you in a while! You look even more gorgeous than the last time I saw you," she said as the palm of her hands still rubbed against mine. 

"Your baby bump!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. There was a tint of jealousy with the way I talked to her. It was impolite to make it known that I was envious of her relationship with the Emperor.

Su Yin's grin was forming, but it looked ingenuine. 

How many sleepless nights have you encountered, Su Yin? Is your medication doing you justice? I wanted to ask her. I wanted to ask her things because my true self, the sincere persona I had established at an early age, was concerned for her health. But I couldn't bear to ask. "Has His Majesty visited you often?" I got straight to the point and slowly let go of her hands. A smile was still plastered on my face. My cheeks started to hurt. What was taking over me? Su Yin could have seen right through me, but I sternly sunk into the continuity of this act. Besides, how could I let this pregnancy taint our friendship? The Emperor did not belong to me. He belonged to no one, yet, all the women in the harem, belonged to him. And even though it bothered me, I, myself, chose not to sleep with him. 

"He has," Su Yin nodded firmly. Her grin faded into a slight frown, "but he is so busy with Dong Mei's soon-to-be-born child, that I am not receiving the same treatment. I am a low-ranking concubine. Dong Mei's offspring would be more important but, I wonder, will my child still receive the same favour? The same privileges? The idea that His Majesty is neglecting me, I am fine with that... The idea that my child may not receive the same favour... I must not think about such things..." 

Su Yin turned her head away from me.

I couldn't hate her. No matter what, I couldn't. She was too thoughtful, too kind. Behind the tough exterior she has, she was only a caring person. There was no way in the world could I ever get mad at her. Still, jealousy was tingling inside of me, but I knew it was morally wrong to be jealous. She only wanted care for her child, and she wanted to hold a secure position. I could not judge her. Su Yin would be an amazing mother, I can feel it.

"If His Majesty does not give your child the same privileges, I will stomp right to his palace and put him in his place!" I declared but kept my voice in a low tone just in case anyone was around us.

Su Yin only smiled. 

I scrunched up my forehead. "Why are you not laughing at my joke? You always laugh at my jokes, even my bland ones!"

"Sorry, I-I've been so tired. I can't sleep, I'm stressed, I..." Su Yin started but a big yawn interrupted her. 

"You need to take good naps then. Please take good care of yourself," I gently patted her shoulder. "If His Majesty treats your child with disrespect and if anyone ever harms your child, I will gladly land a punch." 

Su Yin let out a laugh. "Knowing you, I'm sure you would."

"We've been standing in the same spot for minutes now, let's walk around and talk." Jia Ying ushered us in front of her, in a nagging way. 

I gasped. "I haven't seen you in a while! Where have you been?"

"I've always been here, I think you just don't notice me." Jia Ying jokingly rolled her eyes. "I apologize, my social status is not..."

"That is not true!" I uttered. 

Su Yin, walking next to me now, turned her head to face me. She was quite tall. She stood approximately five feet six. Whenever she talked to me, she would crane her neck slightly. Su Yin thinks that I wouldn't notice, but I do, yet I don't bring it up because she probably doesn't mean any harm when she does it.

Her eyes glistened. "Is Her Majesty still bothering you?"

The last time we had talked, Su Yin and I, it was about the Empress. In fact, I told all of my closest friends of mine what the Empress had said to me. I trust them. Although, Jaxon had psychopathic tendencies and suggested the idea of manipulating the Empress... 

"Her Majesty never did after that. But, she still looks bothered every time I am in the same space as her."

Su Yin responded with a slight laugh, then pointing at the figure in front of us.

Guan Shu and Rong Er, walked slowly but casually grinning so widely that their cheeks were compressed. I knelt to face Rong Er, giving him a warm embrace. "I've missed you! How have you been?"

Rong Er had grown taller. His features were less babyish, but he was still an adorable toddler the last time I saw him. As I placed the palm of my hand on his cheek, he grinned with purity. "I missed you too! Mother told me that you said something cool and His Majesty and his friends were very interested! Is that true?" 

"Oh," I replied with astonishment, raising my eyebrows and laughing with Guan Shu. "Why, yes it was. It was a bit of a struggle at first, but I've come to terms with the oppression they put against me, yet I conquered!"

Rong Er blinked a few times.

"Ying Yue," Hua Er scowled. "You do not know how to talk to children!"

A burst of laughter erupted. I rolled my eyes and patted Rong Er's head, "Please, I know Rong Er is an intelligent boy and he can understand my—"

"I don't really know what you just said." Rong Er shrugged, a small smirk of guilt was forming on his face.

We walked in silence. The birds were singing now, and how I've missed their soft, melodic touch to the atmosphere. The sun finally made its appearance, and the wind lessened its blow. Bees flew around to pollinate the flowers. There would be no more dark, wintery nights. I did long for them sometimes. It was nicer listening to the gu qin in a moodier atmosphere. But it was so melancholic to me. 

"Did you know Madame Dong Mei might give birth today?" Su Yin broke the silence.

I shook my head. "No, I wouldn't know. The Empress... how is she feeling?"

"I don't know. Maybe upset? Crying in her pillow as of now?" Su Yin chuckled. "Regardless, I sure hope Dong Mei is alive and well after this. But, the Empress has been in a moody state lately..."

"Time will tell," I declared.

Across from us, was one of the pavilions, known to be a concubine hang-out place. Hua Er and I never stepped foot there. Mostly because of my reputation. I had no genuine knowledge about how they feel about me. Maybe anger? I didn't come from nobility nor a prestigious household, was that why they were upset with my promotion? 

I didn't know, nor did I care. 

Their head was dipped when I walked past, but I refused to acknowledge their presence. My eyes were directly in front but I slightly turned my head towards the flowers. The pond was there, unfrozen now. I felt calm when the soothing sounds of the water become active. Jaxon and I were once together to get lost in this area... It was during our rendezvous, of course.

"Lady Ying Yue," the voice of one of the girls called. 

I haven't remembered any of their names, except for Niu Lin's, and the pregnant one... There was no mockery in the tone of her voice. I gracefully turned around (it would've looked so much better if I wore a dress made for an empress) and held a smile. I proceeded to walk towards them nonchalantly. My maids followed but my friends did not. They stood and waited. 

"Yes?" I calmly spoke, friendlier than usual.

I recognized some of the faces, yet, I was unable to pinpoint each and everyone's name. I can remember most, but I chose not to acknowledge their presence. Besides, they were the ones who ridiculed me.

"I apologize for my behaviour towards you, you may have gotten over it," she said as she looked down refusing intimate eye contact with me. She wasn't ranked low, she was a Consort, which I have never been. I skipped the title of Consort. Still, with her head low, she smiled. "But, I want to let you know that... I am very proud of your accomplishments in the harem. Well, not only in the harem, but you interfered with other affairs and helped out."

I raised an eyebrow. "Was that an insult or were you truly complimenting me?"

"No! W-Why would I? I meant it. I truly meant it, sister." A rush of panic raised her voice then slowly, her body unstiffened itself.

"Then," I cautiously held her hand and smiled. "I appreciate your support. Us women in the harem need to stop hating each other and love each other instead."

She hesitantly smiled back at me.

I dropped her hand and gave her a nod, then looking around to make eye contact with the other girls. "If the harem was in harmony, His Majesty would love that. Do you know how much stress he has?"

A few nods, a few solemn faces, but at least I got my message across. Although I didn't like some—I mean most—of them, I still had to fake it. It took guts and courage to talk to me and ask for forgiveness. I didn't even know her name, but it was too rude of me to ask for her name. I kept my mouth shut. I would ask Su Yin later. If I remembered... Oh no. I feel it. 

A tingly feeling in my nose was rising. It rose and decreased, rose and decreased until I finally let out the tension with a sneeze.

"Ugh." 

"Allergies?" the Consort asked, giggling.

I sniffled. "Yes."

"Well, thank you, Lady Ying Yue. I won't forget your kindness!" the Consort exclaimed.

***

"Your Grace, please remain calm!" The nurse, kneeling next to the consort's bedside, soothed the lady in labour by running her hand through her hair. One hand was holding her hand.

"How can I remain calm when I am—" the consort began but the room was filled with an earth-shattering scream, almost killing the eardrums of the women around her. The slimy form of human flesh slipped into another nurse's hands. 

Empress Nian Shu had a bright grin. Her face radiated in the room filled with stress. Her husband, the Emperor, was standing outside of the chamber. His expression was not as bright as the Empress, but it was in his heart that he was enthusiastic. His face was as if he was listening to a tedious speech. He spoke nothing to anyone, but there was full of anticipation in his bloodstream. This child could perhaps be the heir to the throne... only if the Empress couldn't bear a son. In his mind, he doesn't expect the Empress to bear a son. The Emperor doubts her quite often. They've been trying for so long that the Empress's seduction turned into exhaustion. After the death of the Empress's mother, it was strange to see how the Empress was still conforming to their sexual acts.

It was a shame, shame that the couple could not birth an heir to the throne.

"Congratulations, it's a princess!" the nurse, wiping down Dong Mei's area with a towel, exclaimed. But her smile was slight. The newborn, covered in a thick blanket, was hidden from Dong Mei's view. 

An old eunuch entered the room holding a small tray with a porcelain bowl on top of it. He bowed as the Empress held the tray from both sides. She proceeded to walk towards Dong Mei, grinning too wide for her being. "Dong Mei," she says, kneeling slightly to give Dong Mei the tray. "Guan Shu and Physician Xi prepared this medicine specifically for you. Aren't you so glad they took the time, months and months, providing you with healthy medicine? Please, drink this to regain back your energy. It must have been hard to go through all of this."

Dong Mei accepted, and due to thirst, chugged the medicine. "Thank you, Your Majesty, for being so kind as to assist me throughout my whole pregnancy period."

The Empress steps back. She tilts her chin up and again, plasters a warm smile across her face before turning to look at the nurse. "How is she?"

"She's turned out quite unhealthy, Empress..." the nurse responds, almost in a whisper before Dong Mei's eyes bulge out.

"What do you mean unhealthy? Let me see my baby! Let me see my baby! Is she ill?" Dong Mei pushed her upper torso up from the bed but refrained from any movement due to the Empress's restrictions. 

The Empress's face moved towards the consort. She pushed her body down again, pinning her wrists against the bed. "You are weak, sister, let the nurse handle it. You mustn't—"

"You move away from me, you wench!" Dong Mei exclaims, kicking away but it is no use. After birth, her body had been weakened.

"I'm afraid you can't see her," the nurse spoke in hesitation, but twisted her body enough for Dong Mei to view her child from a certain angle. The Empress glared at her. 

Dong Mei, still held against the bed by two other nurses now, pleaded to hold her daughter in her arms. As much as she tried, there was no use. The nurse holding the baby, now opens her mouth to speak when the Empress left the chamber. "Your Grace, the Empress will find a physician to see what is wrong with your baby, for now—"

"Inform His Majesty! Inform His Majesty right now! Where are my maids?" Dong Mei cried out in despair, she wept slightly but not enough for the nurse to pity her. It was not a pleasant sight to see. Once the physician had arrived at the scene, it took him only five minutes to diagnose the baby. The weary, worried consort was in the blink of passing out, bombarded the physician with questions. It only brought more annoyance.

"Someone had been tainting your medicine. Who has been providing you with medicine?" he asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Medicine... Medicine was from the Empress, but Guan Shu and Physician Xi prepared it together..." Dong Mei whispered, then in a second, she realized. Her temper was rising, her cheeks were as red as her child, and she soon never hated anyone as much as she hated Guan Shu.

Guan Shu... She was the maid of Noble Consort Han. Noble Consort Han was definitely in on this! Oh, how standing up to the Empress for me... It was just an act. Just an act. Noble Consort Han might look innocent on the outside, she might look as if she minded her business, but she got into the business of my child! This despicable low-born consort! Face my wrath!

And just as timing had synchronized, Guan Shu, the one and only, Guan Shu, the maid of Noble Consort Han, arrived with a simple smile. 

Meanwhile, the Empress, walking out to inform her husband of the delivery, enthusiastically walked towards him. "You must not come in yet. You must let the nurses finish, and we can bring the little princess out!"

"It is a girl?" the Emperor said, still with no smile on his face.

"Yes! It is a healthy baby! Aren't you excited, Your Majesty?" The Empress gave him a gleeful giggle, then gently touching his hand before he swatted it in a soft gesture. He gave a curt smile. "Of course I am excited. I want to see Imperial Noble Consort Yang. Empress, is she okay?"