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You winced, the blade sliding through the skin on your wrist. You've done it again.

They said self harm was a dangerous thing to do.

You set the small blade on the small table.

But they didn't know it was the most beautiful thing to do when you're hurt...

Pained...

Forgotten...

and ignored...

" This looks like the farthest I've done..." you muttered, wrapping the new bought bandage around your wrist covering the freshly and old cuts. You knew this was a crazy thing to do, especially as an adult, but you couldn't help it.

It's not like it was your fault that everyone leaves you when you needed them the most.

You sat on the edge of your bed, taking the sleeping pills and drinking a glass of water. You lied on your bed, before falling asleep fast. The sleeping pills were a big help.

The next day, you took a bath, eat breakfast, took your time before you got prepared on a day out.

Who were you going out to?

Kirino Ranmaru.

He was the only person who cared for you after your ex broke up with you and your best friends left you alone, but of course you were so oblivious that he cared for you. He already confessed to you about how he love you, but you weren't exactly an official couple... yet...

You walk calmly to the park, where you would meet him.

You were nervous.

Not because it was him, but because it's your first date with him and the exact thought that he'll leave you like your ex did scared you. You were so much in pain. Even though he always remind you that he'll always be there for you and he'll never be like those people who left you, you wouldn't hope it, after all you'll just hurt yourself more if you keep hoping and trusting those words.

" Y/N-chan!" your head turn towards the voice, Kirino was running towards you.

" S-sorry, did you wait too long?" he panted, holding himself up by putting his hands on his knees and bending down slightly. You shook your head, muttering a soft 'no' while doing an experimental small smile.

He knew it wasn't real though.

" So, let's go?" you nodded, letting him pull you to a coffee shop. You both ordered two strawberry cheesecake and two latte.

You chatted for a bit and you knew those glances towards your wrist.

You knew he knows about your actions. After that, he took you to an amusement park, sitting on a seesaw, you light push back and forth. You felt a pressure behind you pushing you, you look up to see Kirino with a gentle smile. You blushed, looking down.

Don't fall for him please.

After all those incidents, you didn't want to fall in love again, reminiscing those painful memories you've been theought. Kirino, too, knows what you've been through, after all those times he caught you crying and all those attempts on killing yourself which he stopped you. It hurt him to see you in so much pain, and he wanted to end that by staying beside you or loving you when you couldn't love yourself.

" Ne, Y/N-chan..."

" Hm?" you felt him sat on the seesaw beside you with a sigh.

" Can I take you somewhere? I meant, where you can relax and not think of negativities?" his response shock you. You didn't knew he was this determined to bring back the old you.

Maybe I was just imagining.

" S-sure." he smiled, taking your hands in his and pulling you. In the middle of the walk, he stopped to look at you.

" Close your eyes."

Your nerves flinch, eyes widen. What if he leaves you the moment you trust him? What if he was planning on ditching you while your eyes are close? The fear in your eyes was obvious and he chuckled. " Don't worry, I won't leave you, you can hold my hand if you want?"

Oh dear lord why did I felt relieved?

You gulped, nodding. He placed a blindfold and took your shoulders, leading you the way. You felt the ground being rocky, the air was harder, and the scent of flowers filled the air, the ground became grassy. " Ready?" he whispered in your ear, and you nodded slowly. You felt the blindfold loosen and he took it off. Your eyes fluttered, getting use to the light. Your eyes widen in shock.

A field of colorful flowers with a few trees, the bird chirping which you didn't notice, the clouds covering the sun.

Your breath was was taken away.

" K-Kirino." you yelp as he took your wrist in his hand, staring at the cuts.

" Y/N-chan... you don't have to stay like this..." he mumbled, caressing your wrist. His eyes look deeply in yours, almost seeking your soul. Your tears escaped, falling on the ground and he wipe them away. " Don't cry please... I-I know it's hard to trust me when you just got... left behind... but, please, do give me a chance to prove you!" his eyes showed determination, and you were convinced he did everything to make you believe him.

" Kirino..."

" Y/N-chan, I'm going to ask again... Please be mine." he seek for your answer, his grip on hand tighten and nervousness was evident in his eyes. You took a deep breath and did your best to look at his eyes.

Maybe...

" Kirino... I..."

Just maybe...

You smiled softly for the first time since you were left, taking a step forward. " I... I'll give you a chance..."

Maybe I was just thinking too much...

" Thank you, Y/N-chan..." he smiled, taking you in his arms and pecking your forehead and lightly kissing the edge of your lips, hearing your chuckle.

Maybe I was just too nervous...

Just maybe...

I can let someone love me again...

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