Answers provided by Bridget Sinclair, Youth Services Worker, St. Stephen's Community House

Q: What is sexual assault?

A: Sexual assault is an act of violence, control, and domination, when an individual uses the act or idea of sex as a weapon. Sexual assault includes any kind of sexual activity committed against a woman when she does not want it. It also includes any kind of sexual activity (including giving a hand job or blow job) that a woman is forced to perform when she does not want to. It doesn't matter whether the assaulter uses physical force or threats, it is still sexual assault. The word rape is often used to define unwanted sexual inter- course, but the term sexual assault refers to any type of unwanted sexual activity.

Q: What is date rape?

A: Date rape, also called acquaintance rape, is sexual assault committed against you by someone you know and trust. This person ends up betraying your trust. Dealing with date rape can be especially difficult because some people assume that if a woman has consented to a date she has also consented to sex during the date, and this is definitely not true.

Q: What is statutory rape?

A: Statutory rape is when an adult has sexual intercourse with a minor.

In Canada, by law, no one under the age of 12 can legally consent to any kind of sexual activity. If you are between the ages of 12 and 14, you can only legally consent to sex if your partner is less than 2 years older than you. It is illegal for anyone over the age of 18 to have sex with anyone under the age of 18 if there is more than a 2 year differ- ence in their ages. It is also illegal for someone in a position of authority (like a teacher or a coach) to have sex with someone younger than 18. Be careful if any of this applies to your relationship; the law doesn't consider the way you feel about someone regardless of age, and just because you believe "age ain't nothing but a number" doesn't mean the courts will agree. Canada's legal system now uses the term sexual interference instead of statutory rape.

In the United States, the age of consent differs from state to state, but nowhere is it lower than age 16. According to federal law, it is illegal for a person to have sexual intercourse with anyone under the age of 16 if there is more than a 4 year difference in their ages.

Q: What factors affect a woman's risk of being sexually assaulted? A: Women of any age can be assaulted, but there are some adverse social conditions that can put a woman at a higher risk of experiencing sexual assault. A lack of housing, being a runaway, and/or being financially desperate are all factors that can make a woman more vulnerable to sexual assault.

These factors appeal to perpetrators of sexual assault who often look for people they can easily take advantage of, people they feel more powerful than, and people who won't report the assault to police or other authorities. For the same reasons, perpetrators of sexual assault tend to prey on people with low self-esteem. A person with low self- esteem may find it difficult to stand up for themselves and to say what they want (or don't want), and they may even feel like they don't deserve to be treated well. Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted.

Q: Is it important for women to report sexual assault?

A: It is important to report sexual assault to the police so that the attacker doesn't get away with it and assault other people. Unfortunately, many women have mixed feelings about going to the police. Some women fear that the process of charging someone will make an already horrible experience even more difficult to deal with.

Other women are afraid the police officers they talk to will be very insensitive.

Fortunately, many police departments have officers who are specially trained to help women who have been sexually assaulted. They will gather evidence and help the woman get medical treatment and counseling. The police, not the woman, will lay the charge against the assailant; the woman will be a witness. Whether or not a woman decides to report a sexual assault, it is important she makes the decision herself.

If you are sexually assaulted, whether or not you decide to tell the police, it is very important to get medical treatment as soon as possible, either at a hospital emergency room or a clinic. You should go even if you feel okay physically because you may have injuries you don't know about yet. If your assailant had any STIs, a doctor or nurse can offer treatment (such as prophylactic antibiotics) immediately. They can also evaluate your risk of getting pregnant from the assault and offer options including the emergency contraceptive pill. They can also offer you counseling and support. If you are under a certain age, usually 16, the hospital or clinic may be required by law to report your sexual assault to the police and to a child protection agency.

You can also call a sexual assault hotline if you are unsure what to do. See the back of this book for information on how to find numbers in your area.

Q: If you are sexually assaulted, what is the first thing you should do?

A: There are a number of different ways to deal with and work through being sexually violated. You may or may not decide to involve the police. Either way, it's essential that you take care of yourself at this time.

Here are some ways to take care of yourself immediately after being sexually assaulted:

Leave the area where the sexual assault happened and go somewhere you feel safe and comfortable.

Call someone you trust and feel comfortable with. This could be a close friend, a parent, a social worker, or any other trustworthy adult.

Remember that you are not to blame. Whatever the situation was, the assault was not your fault.

Be sure to spend the next few days with someone you trust. Do not stay by yourself, because this will be a very difficult time.

You may also wish to do the following things if you are thinking about involving the police:

Go to a hospital emergency room or clinic, where social workers and doctors will give you support, connect you to other support services in your area, and examine you.

Call someone you trust and feel comfortable with who can come and be with you for support.

Before you go for medical treatment, you should not have a shower or a bath. It may be difficult to not clean yourself because you might feel dirty, but it is important that you don't. There may be evidence on your body from your assaulter that can be collected and used against him in court.

You should write down everything about the sexual assault, including where and when it happened, who assaulted you (if you know), and what exactly happened.

Q: How do you know you just haven't misinterpreted someone's actions?

A: Your body and past experiences will tell you when something is wrong. Remember, sex is not something you owe someone, nor is it something that you should be forced into.

Q: Is it rape if your spouse or partner forces you to have intercourse?

A: Definitely. Rape is an act of violence, control, and domination that some spouses will try to use against their partners. It is not your wifely duty to have sex with your spouse. You decide when you want to have sex. If you did not consent and your partner has intercourse with you, then it was rape. It doesn't matter if you've consented on previous occasions or even if you are married; if you don't consent to sexual activity and it happens anyway, it is sexual assault.

Q: Which is more common: being attacked by a stranger or by someone you know?

A: Women are more often sexually assaulted by someone they know than by a stranger.

Q: If you don't feel safe with someone, what should you do?

A: Follow your intuition. If you don't feel all right, get away. Go somewhere safe. Talk to someone supportive. Try to always have bus or cab fare with you so you can get home on your own; always have a plan on how you are getting home.

Q: Do only men commit sexual assault?

A: Sexual assault is not gender specific, but men assaulting women is the most common form of sexual assault. Men also sexually assault other men, women sexually assault women, and sometimes women sexually assault men.

Q: Can you become pregnant from a sexual assault?

A: Yes, it is possible. But a woman can go to a clinic and get the emergency contraceptive pill as soon as possible – it is effective up to 72 hours after sex.

Q: Should women be more aware of rapes and date rapes on college and university campuses?

A: A number of factors put women at a potentially higher risk of sexual assault on a campus. There is this idea around college and university that everyone wants to party and that getting sex is an important part of the whole experience. There is also a lot of drink- ing and a lot of substance abuse on campus that can impair judgment. Campuses also have publicly accessible areas that are often isolated and/or poorly lit.

Colleges and universities take the issue of sexual assault very seriously. To improve safety, most campuses have implemented pro- grams such as security escorts for students, improved lighting in isolated areas, and floor supervisors in residence. It's important to remember that, no matter where you live, you are at risk and you need to take precautions to protect yourself.

Q: Is it still rape, even if you didn't say no, but still felt you were forced into it?

A: Yes, it is still rape if things like coercion and threats were used.

It is rape if you were not free emotionally, physically, and/or mentally to say no.

Q: What is the best way to say no to someone?

A: The best way to say no is loud and clear – NO!! You don't have to explain or justify why. It is important that you are demanding and firm with your response to the person that you are with. In these moments you can't be shy or worry about offending the person. Protect yourself. Taking a self-defense course may help you develop confidence in dealing with this kind of situation.

Q: Is there anything a woman can do about men who make cat calls at her when she walks down the street?

A: These men are looking for a reaction, so the best thing to do is to ignore them.

Q: If you wear revealing clothes, are you asking for an assault?

A: No, not at all. A woman's dress, hair, and manner are not an invitation to violate her. Men can and should control themselves just as women do.

Q: Is it true that a man who violates a woman can't control his sexual desires?

A: No! Many men who commit sexual assault already have a sexual partner. It is not usually due to "lack of sex" that drives them to assault women. Men are responsible for their acts of violence! Women have the same urges as men do, and therefore, men can control themselves just as women can. Again, rape is not about sexual desire, it is about power and control.

See the resources section at the back of this book for how to find more information on sexual assault.