ALEC

The pain was to much for me. The only one who could mend my heart back together was Magnus. But he was gone. He slipped through my grasp. My mistake made him leave. My mistake made him hate me. My mistake made me hate myself.

I was currently on the roof of the Institute. My thoughts were running like a wildfire inside my head. I couldnt get him out of my head. I shot another arrow into the sky with complete anger. I couldnt keep doing this. I couldnt keep shooting arrows into nothing. I needed to feel something... some sort of pain. I needed to suffer for what I had done.

At the perfect moment my phone rang. I took it out and smiled. There was a team going out to hunt down some demons attacking mundanes. I practically ran to go and join the team.

When I reached the main floor the team was just about to head out. I joined them. After a few moment of getting more arrows and a Seraph blade, I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. "Alec?" A voice asked. I turned around to see Jace with a worried look on his face. He continued speaking. "Are you ok?" He asked me. I was so stupid! I had forgotten about our parabatai bond. I couldn't even imagine what Jace must have been going through after my long hours of crying and my emotions being all over the place. I gave him a fake smile. "Fine." I replied while turning back around.

"Alec." He said again while turning me back around. He pulled me into a corner so no one could hear us. "What's wrong? You're definitely not yourself." He said in a concerned low voice. "Jace, I said I'm fine." I replied slightly annoyed. I didnt want to remember everything that had happened, but I began to. My thoughts wandered to Magnus and all the fun things we used to do together. The things that made us laugh and joke around. The things that made us happy.

I shook my head internally and focused on Jace again. I noticed his expression soften to something sad. "I'm so sorry Alec." He said suddenly. I cursed myself internally for letting me think of him again. Now Jace knew. I looked away from his gaze.

"Alec... you cant go out like this. I'm sorry about Magnus, but you cant. You'll get hurt." He said to me. My anger started to slowly rise. "I'll be fine Jace." I snapped at him. "Alec. You have to listen to me. You are to distracted. You will get hurt or even worse KILLED!" He yelled at me in a whisper so no one could hear. "I said I'm fine Jace! Let it go." I replied while turning away from him. I needed to go. I needed to feel pain. I needed to pay for what I had done.

We had just reached the alleyway. Jace and Izzy were walking quietly behind me along with the three other shadowhunters who came along with us. We all got into our positions to take them out. I watched as they killed another innocent mundane. There were at least twenty of them. I looked at the others and nodded my head. We engaged.

The five of them ran forward while I held back. I shot an arrow and watched as the demon disintegrated. I shot another arrow and another demon disappeared into thin air. While it felt nice to fight I wasn't fully satisfied. I put my bow away and took out my Seraph Blade. I ran towards the fight in front of me. I ended up fighting side by side with Jace. With each swing of our swords a demon was gone. "I need more. I need to feel it." I thought to myself. For a split second I stopped fighting and I was suddenly on the ground.

I felt the demon start to rip through my skin. My leg was definitely broken and blood was running down my face. I screamed in pain, but it felt... good. For a moment I forgot about all my troubles. The physical pain had finally overpowered the emotional pain. "Alec!" I heard Jace scream, but I was slipping away. I had stopped fighting all together.

I could feel the demon being ripped off of me. I was conscious enough to see Jace's Seraph blade go right through its heart. "Alec? Alec. You're going to be ok. Jace call Magnus NOW!" Izzy was yelling. At the sound of Magnus's name my eyes opened wide. I looked at Jace who has just reached us. "N–no. Ja–Jace don't, don't c–call hi–him." I stuttered. The poison was spreading throughout my body. "We have no choice buddy. Just hold on." I could hear Jace calling Magnus. "He's not answering!" Jace said in a worried tone. "We have to get him back now!" He yelled.

I felt myself being lifted off the ground. "You'll be ok. Just hold on Alec." I heard Jace say. I lost all consciousness I had left.