"Tristan! Please no I'll do anything! Please don't do this!" I start Walking away to words the cellar entrance as Sarah begs me for anything else. Hunter grabs my arm lightly before I can reach the door and I look up at him, tears brimming my eyes at what I just did.

"What Hunter? What could you possible want from me now? Is that what you wanted to see? Did you want to see me break down and fucking give my best friend a death sentence? What did you possibly want from this?!" I yank my arm away and walk back up stairs, slamming the cellar door shut and running up into our bedroom before screaming in frustration and crying.

Everything is overwhelming. Everything in the past week has just hit us all and everyone is acting like it's a daily routine! I'm not cut out for anything like this!

I sit on the bed and groan as my hands grip my hair. Closing my eyes to just think for a moment, I can't even do that as Hunter comes in the room quietly. But I know he's here.

"Babe..." Hunter slowly makes his way to me and I just grip my hair tighter and hide my face in my arms. He tries to move my arms apart and get me to take my hands off my head but I don't budge.

"Hunter. Go. Away."

"No, Tristan please talk to me. I am not leaving you alone right now."

"You want me to talk to you? I don't even think that's possible! I don't think that I can talk to you with out screaming or yelling at you Hunter! There is a lot I want to say and I can't just fucking talk!" I let out, removing my hands from my head as I stand up and try to walk away.

"Then yell. Yell at me Tristan, lord knows I probably need to hear what ever your going to say."

"I don't want to yell at you Hunter!"

"Then what do you want Tristan?"

"I don't know anymore! I don't know! I can't keep up with all of this Hunter, you can but I can't fucking do this! I can't do any of this! I can't fucking help take care of a kid or Be a god damn Luner to these people! I can't stand the fact that this is happening and after everything, I can't stand the fact that He died!"

"I feel bad that He died for gods sake! I can't stand the fact that I Don't understand why he did this and that I never got to know why he did everything he did to me! I can't stand that I just put my best friend on a practically death sentence because other packs wont accept her! She has nowhere to go! She was my best friend and you had me do that to her?"

"I can't be there for everyone when I can't even be there for you or me! I can't take care of Lou and you and everyone here and handle this! Your parents just died, some people I know here died! And we are over it like that? everyone is back to normal like no one is gone! It too fucking much Hunter! I just lost two people who meant something to me! To everyone! I can't believe that this is how fast everyone is getting over them! I can't be here! I can't do anything! I don't know how to and I have no idea what I want Hunter!"

My chest rises and falls heavily as I feel my face and ears heat up as I cry. My throat hurts from yelling and I just lost it. My hands go back to gripping my hair as I walk around the room trying to breathe regularly but I can't. I lean against the wall and sink to the floor as I cry and grip myself, trying to calm down.

My body shakes harshly as a panic attack rips through me for the first time in a very long time. Sobs leave my mouth as Hunter quickly picks me up and holds me lightly. My tears soak his shirt as he picks me up and sets me down on the be, sitting by me, holding my hands in his as I lean against him.

"Hey, hey. Tristan babe, breathe please, just try to breathe for me. I'm right here, it's okay. I've got you." Hunter just holds me and tells me things as I start to calm down, my body hardly shaking anymore and tears stopped flooding my eyes. My chest hurts and my head is pounding. I forgot how much physical pain there is with one of those attacks.

"Come on." Hunter picks me up bridal style as I clutch his shirt in my hands. He walks us into the bathroom and set me on the countertop. Turning on the bathtubs fossette, it starts to fill with water, he adds soap to it for me and I sadly watch his as he grabs towels down and sets them down next to the tub.

He walks up to me next after shutting the water off, removing my shirt and pants as he kisses my head. Taking off everything else on my body he sets me in the tub gently. Sliding me into the warm water, I sink down and start ahead of me. Hunter sits next to me outside the tub and plays with the water with his head, swirling around the bubbles as we sit here silently.

I look over to him and he just stares at the water. I gently grab his hands and hold it as we sit here in a very warm bathroom. I pull on his hand gently making him look up at me. His head tilts and I pull him again.

"Get in the tub." I whisper to him as he starts to stand up. He smiles softly as he starts to strip his clothes off os him. When he gets the picks my up so I am sitting on top of him, my cheek pressed against his chest. His hands rub my arm and side as he kisses my head, staying buried in my hair as the water swishes around us.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled...."

"It's fine."

"I don't like yelling, especially not at you."

"I know. I shouldn't have pushed you today. I shouldn't have made you go down there. I'm sorry too. I thought it would be good for you even though I knew you didn't want to do that. this is my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you to do anything at all."

"It's okay, I'll get there, I promise. Everythings just...moving fast."

"I know." And for the rest of the night, we stayed glued to each other. Half of the time we either spent in the tub or shower and then in bed just cuddling and holding each other close.

-------------------------

"Hunter, I don't want to go down there."

"I know babe, but....this time I really have to tell you that you have to go."

I let out a shaky breath as I toss on one of Hunters lighter jackets that somehow fits me. Nodding I grab Hunters hand and he kisses my mine as I tangle our fingers together.

"I promise of it gets to much you can leave, but you have to be there when we start. After that we can come back and just chill hopefully."

"Okay....lets go."

Today we are turning Sarah rouge. Everyone was asked to gather outside and she was brought out a few minutes ago, chained to a tree for the pack to watch. I meant what I said when I wanted her to see everyone's pain she caused, but I don't want to be there.

She already saw my pain.

But I guess she'll have to see it again. I feel awful that this is happening but I know we can't keep her in a cellar forever. That wouldn't be fair.

As Hunger and I get outside, everyone is gathered around the big ass oak tree outside near the woods border. People clear the way for us as we walk, hunger keeps a glare on Sarah as I keep to the floor.

Not everyone is here, no kids and some adults because of all the kids needing to be watched. Hunter starts to talk but I don't pay attention, I start to zone out as I watch the grass move from the wind. I can hear everything go on, Hunters voice over everyone else's growls and cheers, Sarah's whimpers and cries.

I fell Hunters hand grip mine as a witch comes up and places her hand on Sarah's head making Sarah start to thrash against the tree which she is tied to.

I lift my head and watch as Sarah loses her scent of the pack, turning slowly into an unknown smell of the rouges. Her eyes turn a dull red as tears prick them. My own lip quivers as I walk up to her.

"Sarah, I love you and I never wanted this to happen. But you went against everything I believe in and what yourself believed in. I have to do this Sarah, but your my best friend and I know Hunter will kill the second he has a Chance. So go, be safe, and please don't ever come back here again." I whispers to her as she cries and I cut the ropes around her, wrapping my arms around her, Hugging her one last time, as a friend.

She nods and I stand up, putting a glare back on before growling at her. "You have five minutes to get off of my land Sarah. Your time starts now, I promise you that after that, Hunter is going to track you down. So I would run. He's good at finding things, and he's even better at listening to me." I turn my nose up and walk away as she runs into the woods and shifts, and soon after she's gone forever.

That is the last anyone will ever see of her. Because sure enough Hunter and a team went out to see if she was gone and she wasn't. She didn't listen, she hid in some rocks and thought I wasn't serious about Hunter getting her.

Sarah died today. My best friend died today and for everyone else, it's just another day. But for me, I lost my closest friend, the only person who knew what was going on in my life before Hunter, but even she had her demons and even she turned her back against me, for reasons I will never get to know.

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4 weeks later

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"HUNTER JOHNATHAN RHODES GET BACK HERE WITH HER!" I scream as I run down the stairs chasing Lou and Him, who are avoiding school work right now. Dusty chases after them along with me as I get out the house and into the fields.

Shifting quickly, Dusty and I run after Hunter who has a laughing Lou in his arms. Weaving through the trees and into a clearing We finally catch them and Hunter drops to the ground, out of breath as he laughs with Lou.

"Oh my god, Lou look at them!" Lou just laughs Harder as Dusty and I pant from chasing them so fast.

-Hunter Rhodes, I swear to god I'...am going to kill you.-

-Lou, come on you have to finish your homework!- Dusty argues with her through our small family link even though it's really not worth it.

"NO!"

-Lou.-

"I don't wanna do school!"

-Louisiana, you do not have a choice. It's is second grade and it's coloring!-

"NO!"

-Hunter!- I whine it, looking at him as he sighs and smiles at Lou.

"Fine. Lou this was our break for now okay? You should go with Dusty and finish your homework, then we have our thing tonight, remember? And Tristan won't let you help me if you don't get it done! So go with Dusty, I'll come and get you later."

Lou nods and gets up, crawling on Dustys wolf who walks away as she sits on his back talking. I walk over to Hunter as He stands. Hunter pets my head and I pur out as he smiles.

"So you think your gonna kill me now?"

-You can't just take her out of her homework like that Hunter.-

"She needs a break some times Tristan."

-It's online school. For five hours a day plus a recess and lunch break! What else do you want me to do?-

"Aright. I'll stop pulling her out of the room. Come on, lets get back." Hunter starts to walk and I place next to him still in my wolf form. Hunter continues to pet my head as we walk, watching the trees and wolves run around through their training.

-What did you say too Lou? About the thing?-

-It's a surprise.-

-For her?-

-No. Don't worry about it.-

-Hunter-

-No You don't get to know!-

-why not?-

"Because." And with that Hunter takes off to the house, leaving me at the border line of the treees And yard. I sit down in the shade, still a wolf and just watch everyone. It's the beginning of September and everything really gone by fast.

Our summer is basically gone and school is starting for a lot of people again, meaning a good third of the pack will be gone during days.

It's crazy really. Lou is in Second grade now, Dusty and Hunter are leaders and trainers. I help with a lot of everyday things around here when I'm not helping teach Lou, which I do for about six hours a day when Dusty isn't there.

Pups who have just learned to shift run around the years with their parents, teen wolves are training out in the woods, a lot of people are just getting back home from training or Work. The yard is cleaned up and bonfires start to get lit up as the sun sets a bit faster on us all now.

We try to do pack things every other week, optional but it's fun. Most people show up, tonight it's just bonfires.

Its apart of Hunter and I trying to bond the pack again, not every thing is perfect but we are getting there.

I just watch everyone for hours, amazed at how far all of us have come. I see Dylan and his family run around, Stephanie waves at me from the other side of the yard but goes back to her work with some teens who are all carrying wood.

Hunter decided that tonight was a good night for some pack bonfires so I guess Stephanie has all of them doing the wood work for tonight. I start to forget about what he said to Lou as I watch people, my people.

Everyone is happy. I'm happy.

My family is happy and perfect. We are perfect. Hunter, Lou, Dusty and I, we are perfect. We know we can never replace Dean and Mary for Lou, or even for Hunter but right now we are all happy. Stephanie and I have gotten a lot closer and she's kinda like a aunt to Lou now, even though Lou and Dusty spend all their free time together.

I couldn't ask for a better life than this, really. Things have been touchy and it's been weird getting use to all of this, but I did. I made it this far.

I made it this far with Hunter, with Lou, with this pack, with myself. I've grown a lot, a whole lot, while I've been here. I was taught that I'm perfect even with my past.

I've made it this far, even if it has been fast moving and really weird; I mean think about it, I started out here in pain and with my high school bully. then I kissed him, then I ran and came back, we got together and shit happened. Over the span of almost nine months...I've made it.

I made it home.

I learned to love, Hunter made sure of that. I was taught that I have people with me even if I can't see it, even when I don't believe in myself I am here, everyone is here. I faced my demons and I got help, which we all need some days.

I still see a therapist once a week and I'm still on medication to help me. Every once and a while I will have a set back and thats okay.

Hunter and Lou talk to people about their things too, Hunter talks to me everyday about everything still.

God I love him.

I don't think I could love anyone as much as I love Hunter.

He's the love of my life, he's my boyfriend, but he's more than that to me. He's my mate, my lover, my care giver, my companion, my everything. Hunter is my savior, and I don't think I could ask for anyone better.

If Hunter never found me in those woods, I don't think that I would have ever made it this far in life or ever had been happy.

I love him with all my heart and that will never change. He showed me a whole new world, quite literally, and he opened up my eyes to everything I needed.

Hunger drags me out of my thoughts as he pets my head, looking up at him I pick his hand and he laughs at me. "Come on, you've been out here for a few hours Tristan."

-sorry-

"It's fine, go change, there's clothes in the first bathroom on the first floor. I want to go on a walk with you, in person."

"Okay. Sure." Thinking nothing of it I walk back to the house and walk through it, shifting when I get into the bathroom so the whole pack doesn't see me naked. I know that it's really a normal thing for wolves but I wasn't raised that way, at all....so for now we keep the nudity to a minimum.

Hunter left the clothes in here, changing into them quickly I run out of the bathroom while pulling my white shirt on.

Phillips been great at keeping me on task lately and recently he's been pushing me to help Hunter and be around more and more. I have no idea why but I listen to him.

Phillip is honestly one of the best wolves there is, that I've met at least. I love him and Grey too. Grey a little less but don't tell him I said that.

Phillip keeps me on track and talks me through things when no one is around or when I block myself off, which isn't a whole lot now, but he's always there for me. He's been teaching me a lot about what I can do as a wolf now that we have time too. There is a lot I didn't know that Hunter left out.

Never the less it is Phillip who is pushing me to get to Hunter right now, who is still waiting for me at the border line of trees and clearing. Smiling when he sees me, he out stretches his arm and hand for me with I instantly grab onto. Hunter pulls me into his side and kisses me lightly before kissing my head making me hum and smile in my own delight.

"You look good."

"You always say that Hunter."

"It's the truth though Babe. Your the best looking person here."

"I highly doubt that Hottie." He smirks and kisses me again before walking slowly into the woods, still with me at his side for the walk we usually take everyday at some point.

As we walk down on the dirt and leaves that continue to fall off of the trees, Hunter grips my hand as he talks. I smile up at him as he talks some nonsense about the teens he was helping today.

"I mean, shit Babe, I didn't think teens would be that hard to handle!"

"Hunter, you know your still a teen right?"

"I mean like....like fourteen year olds! They are something else!"

"Speak for yourself, I was a good kid."

"Of course you were." Hunter laughs off as we continue to walk, slightly going off of the trail we take. "I think six."

"Six what Hunter?"

"Six kids." I choke on air for a moment as Hunter says it like it's obvious, looking down at me with a smile.

"Why...what? Hunter are you okay?"

"Yep!"

"So kids? Why are you thinking about kids?"

"Yep, kids."

"Hunter, what is this about?" I ask as he smiles at me, bitting his lip as we walk happily down the path we always take.

"I'm just making I'm conversation! I would conveniently like to have six kids, all preferably wolves, but it doesn't matter. I just want them."

"Someday..."

"Someday Babe, someday!" Hunter says exaggeration cover his voice as we laugh it off and continue, I completely zone out and forget that we left our path, slowly, Hunter starts to go off of it.

"Hunter? What are we-?"

"Shh." I zip it as Hunter looks around, his eyes zoning out and narrowing as he watches what's in front of him. "Stay here."

"What?!"

"Tristan, be quiet and stay here! I promise it'll be okay, just stay."

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