Chapter 28.

It'll All Work Out by Phoebe Bridgers

I mumbled, half asleep. "You left me you- you left- alone..." I whimpered, squirming around but too weak to kick.

"I didn't leave you. I'm still right here." His tired voice was deep and stayed in the soft air. I was still just on his lap, not quite sure of my surroundings because I had fallen asleep. I guessed he just stayed there while I did. It was likely past midnight now, it felt like 2 in the morning.

"Shh..." he brushed my hair out of my face. "You should go back to sleep."

"I can't believe I said that to you." I kept my eyes closed as I spoke.

"You were panicking, Darbs. Don't worry about it, darling."

"But I- I said horrible things... I didn't mean a thing. I was just..."

"I know you won't forgive yourself, but I didn't take any of it to heart, Darby." He kept moving me closer to him, trying to lay his head on top of my head. His hand unintentionally met my cheek, but he kept in there. My eyes were nearly glued shut with dried tears.

"I'm pathetic." "You may be that, but it doesn't matter to me."

I scoffed, "Ok, quit it with the cheesy stuff now please." I kept on with my crying, but it eased up soon enough. I eventually sat up, almost dizzy.

"I have too much to do, I-... We never went to the market yesterday. Which means we have nothing for breakfast-"

"It's 4 a.m. No need to worry yet." His voice was calm and nothing but comforting. Which made me think.

"How are you doing? You're tired, aren't you?" I couldn't see his eyes in this dark, which nearly made me mad. He nodded his head slightly, and I got out of bed to open the curtains of the window. The moon was right there in the window. I think it was just for him.

"I have a question." I said as I climbed back into the bed he'd already laid down on. "Mhm?" It was so quiet... completely silent as he waited for an answer.

"The song is from my perspective, isn't it. The one you showed me in your room that night a couple weeks ago."

"You got it..." He laughed a little, soft enough to feel as a huff against the back of my neck.

I flipped myself over to face him. "So what's the tracklist?"

"A song I wrote called Sunrise is the first track, it has a sort of Joni Mitchell feel. Then Live, the song from your perspective. Then Sweet Creature, the one we wrote a couple months ago. I think I need to write another to go after that, to transition from Live into... Darby."

I smiled wide, finding his hand and kissing it. "After Darby, it's Blue Sea, Red Sea. I'd also say that one sounds Joni Mitchell inspired... let's see... Then the next one is actually in French, it's so cool, I've never done anything like that before. Je Te Laisserai Des Mots. Then Heavy Weather, I wrote that after that second time we met... in the rain, remember?" He cheesed.

"How could I not." I giggled right back. "Next, I think, will be Waves, I tried to use the piano a lot on that one, you like those kinds of songs."

"Then Deep End, then Over Soon... that's all we have so far. I still need the last track, none of them feel ready to take that spot. And I'm not sure if I can do much better than Fine Line." He laughed it off, but when I didn't say anything, he stopped laughing in a way that told me how he was really feeling about it.

"If you can't do better, just do something completely different. So that it's incomparable." I yawned, slowly slipping to sleep.

"I want you to hear it right before it comes out. Before anyone else, when it's completely done. Promise?"

"...I promise."

The last thing I vaguely remember before falling asleep again, it was the slight feeling of his heart racing... small hiccup-like breaths... and he kept sniffling. But I was too tired to put it together.

...

More Than Friends by Aiden Bissett

"Can we get these?" He held up two fresh oranges like a little kid.

"Sure." I laughed as he excitedly put them in my tote bag. We walked through the outdoor market, grabbing a couple of things as we went along. He grabbed some ice cream for the both of us, and the nice weather accompanied our sweet outing.

"This I think might be the best ice cream in the entire world." He said, wiping it off the corners of his mouth.

"Have you tried every kind of ice cream ever made on the face of the earth?" I laughed again, hanging onto the strap of my now much heavier bag. "I might be close to reaching that goal, who knows? I've been to a lot of places."

"Right. I forget sometimes. This must be the longest you've ever stuck around anywhere."

"Besides LA, yeah, it is." He grinned, and turned towards me while scrunching his nose up. "Even when we went to Tokyo and Jamaica to write. I was only there for at most three months."

"How long have you been here then?" I asked, tilting my head. "I only got here three days before I met you. That makes four months, doesn't it?"

"I'm honestly not sure." I laughed, and he took that as an opportunity to catch me off guard and snatch up my right hand.

"N-" I went to say, because it felt weird to me for some reason to hold his hand with my right. Before I could, he spun around me to my left hand. As he did, I switched my bag from my left shoulder to my right, it altogether was a very smooth action. "Perfect?" He asked.

I nodded my head.

...

Mitch wound up one of those green disposable film cameras and pointed it towards Harry and I sitting on the end of the pool. I closed my eyes and cheesed, tilting my head as my hair felt in front of my face. Afterwards, Harry turned back to me, his arms of clattered tattoos rested behind him. He let his head droop back to take in the warmth of the sun.

"Last day of July. What are we to do." He said, lazily.

"We are to ignore all of our responsibilities and... and... yeah." I tossed my head. Harry grabbed the beer bottle at his side and took a sip. The air was starting to feel suffocatingly hot, and I kicked my legs in the water.

"It's so hot, I'm getting in." Sarah called to us. "You losers should too." I pulled my shirt over my head, feeling his eyes peeking over at me. I scoffed, and managed to throw the shirt over his head as I walked away.

"So. Fill me in, any wedding ideas?" I asked her. She smiled slightly, "Well we want it to be simple, and we'd love for it to be here in Florence. Not sure how that's going to work out, but it'll be right after tour."

Betsy by Billie Marten

I hesitated, "...Yeah! What about themes and colors, I'm sure you've thought about that since you were a kid. I have." I laughed, suddenly jumping when Harry popped up out of nowhere behind me. He looked at me for more than a second, holding in a laugh that was most likely mocking me.

"Um... I'm hungry. How about some food, yeah?" Sarah said, turning to leave. Mitch appeared next to her just as suddenly, holding a plate of already-grilled hamburgers. "Perfect, I'm starving." Harry went inside to grab whatever else was needed and I sat next to Sarah silently.

"Anyways, we were thinking about a pretty simple wedding, not a lot of people, and then greens and... yeah different shades of green I think."

"Green is such a perfect color." I smiled brightly, my head resting on my hand. My mind had no other thoughts to think, though it felt like it should be racing with thoughts.

Things started to feel off over the course of the next few days. I wanted to wonder why. I wanted it to come out of nowhere and surprise me. But there was no guess needing to be made, and no reason for the realization to hurt me this bad. We were past the point of tears; I always hated not being able to cry. We just kept waiting for danger to come at this point, aching to live in the moment when the moment was filled with evil anticipation and a numbness that threatened to bring up everything I'd eaten that day.

Soon would come a day where I would run out of words, I always feared goodbyes because I could never do them. Words and goodbyes don't meet, they never do. The worst of it was what I felt obligated to tell him. Which made me detest the phrase even more.

Dear Harry,

I find myself finding you in my thoughts more than I believe I ever intended. If I had known more thoroughly just how much I'd learn to care for you when I first heard your voice, I would have been much too startled and would have likely run away. It's something I can't put words to, the things us people do when someone has a hand in our fate and pushes us to whatever it is that we need the most. I'm not the kind of person to invite strangers into my house, though I take it you might be.

Telling you how I feel is no easy task for me. In fact, I think I prefer many other things to verbally confessing. Which is exactly why I'm not verbally confessing. I am doing it here, on this piece of paper. Laying on my stomach, in the middle of my messy room. I think that's the best place to do it.

You amaze me, you really do.

To Darby Anna Eden,

I know you hate when I use all of your names but desperate times call for desperate measures. I have no clue as to how else I should start this, so I'll start by saying very simply that you healed me and I ruined this.

I know you'll think that was cliché, I feel like it's the only way to reach you for some reason. I also don't really know how to go about saying this. I miss you? I know that is horrible. This letter will probably never get to you anyways, there's no way I'll let it. I should say that I'm sorry before I miss you. I'm sorry doesn't seem to be enough, and I know only you could find the words to make it powerful enough.

I'm not sure my typical simplicity will reach you, Darby, though this letter won't either, so I guess I can say whatever I'd like, huh. It is quite the torture method but I was told to write letters to come to understanding. I think the only thing I've come to find is that I have no capability of it. I should get back to my point now.

I should never have rushed you. That was sick of me, I let it take over me until I was weak next to my own selfishness. I can't ever sleep, it's been getting bad. I have shows coming up, now that the album is released. I wonder a lot if you've listened to it. You heard a lot of it before, but I changed so many things after what happened. Which I think makes me feel worse, but I at least wanted to capture my feelings. I'm much better at capturing a broken heart than one beyond-words head over heels, don't you think?

If I could have seen that... that letter you wrote to me. That letter made me want to write this one, Darby. Anyways, I like to think that this would have turned out differently if I could have just seen it with my own eyes. But that's a selfish thing to think... you weren't ready for lots of things but showing me that letter... I've decided to keep that as my biggest regret in the category of other's actions. I told you I'm selfish.

Dear H,

There was nothing we could do about it. You're a golden boy with an open heart that would eventually scare me to insanity. I've felt like screaming at you for the past few weeks, though it would have been nicer to scream to your face. Now that I've calmed the storm, I'm writing you an answer. To nothing in particular but the letters I've imagined you writing after I told you to address your feelings physically...

If I told you I was doing better, it wouldn't be a lie.