*Y/n and Techno sitting in jail*

Y/n: So who should we call?

Techno: I'd call Phil but I feel safer in jail

Phil: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction?

Techno: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what they'd probably do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Techno: ...Or she could do that.

Phil: Y/n, keep an eye on Techno today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

Y/n: Sure, I'd love to see Techno get punched in the face.

Phil: Try again.

Y/n, sighing: I will stop Techno from getting punched.

Phil: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Y/n: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Techno: Smad.

Phil: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Y/n: If?

Techno: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Phil: Y/n and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Techno: *Sighing* What did Y/n do?

Phil: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Y/n: Who wants a steering wheel?

Phil: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Y/n, amazed: Wow...

Techno, to Y/n: Well what does that mean?

Y/n: I don't know.

Y/n, to Phil: What does that mean?

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Philza please come to the front desk?

Phil, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Y/n and Techno

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Y/n and Techno, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Phil: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Phil: Listen, I can explain...

Y/n: You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?

Techno: You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!

Voices: You guys are getting paid?

Phil, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Y/n, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Techno, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Voices, trembling: What are we playing

Phil: Wake me up...

Y/n: Before you go go!

Techno: When September ends...

Voices: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

Techno: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.

Y/n, not looking up from their book: Spear.

Techno: BLOCKED.

Y/n: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Techno: You mean literally or figuratively?

Y/n: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Techno: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Y/n: Twelve, actually.

Techno: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Y/n: Yours!

Techno: That's right: no one's.

Techno: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Y/n: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Techno: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Y/n: Techno, that's a coma.

Techno: Sounds festive.

Techno: Y/n...

Y/n: Oh no, 'Y/n' in b-flat.

Y/n: You're disappointed.

Techno: It's dark in here

Y/n: Don't worry dude I got this

Y/n: *Stomps their feet*

Y/n: *Skechers light up*

Techno, tending to Y/n's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Y/n: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Techno: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Y/n: What did you do?

Techno: Nobody died.

Y/n: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Techno: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Y/n: I think you mean cards.

Techno, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.