(In case you didn't read the title page: This is an enemies AU fanfiction where Chat has always worked with Hawkmoth from the beginning)

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(Mood music: Trędowata Waltz - by Wojciech Kilar)

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Why now, why did it have to be right now?! Marinette groaned internally as she sprinted against a fleeing throng of frightened Parisians. She'd been so close to finally asking Adrien Agreste on a date, after several years of working up the courage to do so. The timing had been all planned out with some help from Alya and Nino; It would've been as the sun sunk toward the horizon. After a group outing for ice cream, Nino would offer to walk Alya home, leaving Adrien and Marinette alone. Perfect lighting, perfect location, perfect opportunity. It was just her luck that an akuma would appear to ruin everything. She fumed as she quickly hid in an alleyway and transformed into Ladybug.

If things weren't rotten enough already, she spotted Chat Noir running towards the center of the commotion just a few blocks down.

Great. Instead of spending some romantic time with the guy of her dreams she'd be fighting him and whomever Hawkmoth had corrupted. What a nightmare.

She reached the outskirts of the spacious open-air venue where the akuma was throwing a luxurious formal ball. Within she discovered a large multitude of dancing couples donned in the finest, most elegant clothing she'd ever seen, accompanied by an honest-to-goodness symphony orchestra, of all things. The dancers' faces seemed more confused than anything but they continued to glide and twirl on the dance floor nonetheless. Ladybug realized that their minds weren't hypnotized, but their bodies moved of their own accord, as if by-- well... actually, because of magic. Under normal circumstances she would have been blown away by such extravagant garments and surroundings; it was an aspiring fashion designer's dream.

Ladybug pushed those thoughts aside and got back on task. Her eyes darted back and forth searching for the akuma. She was planning to remain hidden behind some partitions for a few more minutes to try to gather more information about the area, the nature of the akuma's powers, and figuring out where the akumatized item was. These plans were interrupted, however; she got the wind knocked out of her as was suddenly tackled to the ground and the attacker sprawled their body on top of her.

"Fancy meeting you here, Bugaboo," a familiar voice crooned into her ear.

She huffed as she shifted uncomfortably on her stomach, "I'm really not in the mood, Kitty."

He wrinkled his nose in disapproval. "Ugh, don't call me 'Kitty'. It's not exactly intimidating."

She grunted and struggled to push him off her back as he tightly twisted her arm behind her. "I'll stop calling you 'Kitty' if you quit calling me 'Bugaboo'."

"Sounds like neither of us are getting what we want. You can make it up to me by letting me have your miraculous."

Ladybug scoffed. She inhaled sharply and lifted her hips off the ground, then twisted them, letting the torque swivel her body out from under Chat and reversing their position. The move worked more effectively than she imagined. It seemed joining the school wrestling team was really starting to pay off; her instincts had finally started to rely on muscle memory.

"OOMPH! Whoa, how'd you do that?!" Chat cried.

"Uh-uh-uh! A lady never reveals her secrets," she quipped as she adjusted her position on top of him.

"Hah, you've been practicing!" he chuckled good-naturedly. "Well done, Milady!"

Marinette felt her cheeks heat up with what was definitely not a blush, and replied, "Why don't you go home and sit this one out? That way we can both have a nice, quiet Friday night instead suffering through this cat and mouse game for a few hours."

Chat sighed from under her. "I really wish I could. But the faster I get those pretty earrings of yours, the faster I can go home and play Ultimate Mecha Strike 3."

"You play Mecha Strike? What's your high score? W-wait," she shook her head. "Nevermind, this isn't the time."

Ladybug grabbed Chat's belt-tail and hogtied his hands and feet together behind his back, then began to jog away.

"H-hey! You can't just leave me here!" Chat protested incredulously.

Ladybug looked back and winked at him. "Watch me," she replied.

She darted towards the ballroom area, and as she ran she could hear Chat whine dramatically, "Ladybuh-huh-huh-uuuuuuuuug..." She smiled despite herself and suppressed a chuckle.

---

Ladybug hurried back to the crowd and hid behind a table with a beautiful, long tablecloth made from shimmery, soft fabric, which she deeply regretted not having the chance to examine more closely. Why must I be tortured in this way?! she lamented. She spotted the akuma escorting another small group of victims back to the large ballroom. No doubt about it, the akuma was going around the city recruiting more and more people to join her ball.

Ladybug scanned the ballroom and spotted her classmates, Ivan and Mylène, dressed to the nines and waltzing together (although oddly enough, they seemed to be having a good time...) and went up to them to ask questions about what they knew of the akuma.

---

Elsewhere, Plagg cackled as he ate his last bit of camembert. "That bug! She got you good, I still can't believe it!"

Adrien scowled. "Shut up, Plagg! I-I was... distracted!"

"Yeah, her backside is pretty distracting!" Plagg razzed.

"Damn it, Plagg!! Not this again!"

"Hey, I only call it like I see it, amigo. Ladybugs and their cats will always be drawn to one another. They're a matched set."

"Well, not this time," he replied crossly. "Come on, Plagg, you've finished your cheese. Let's go."

A flash of green consumed him from head to toe and he became Chat Noir again. He stretched out his stiffened limbs, then vaulted back towards the ballroom. He noticed the akumatized woman off to the side, leading another group of dancers to join the rest.

"Hey, Miss-- uh ... Harpsichord, was it?" he inquired. "Isn't your party big enough already? We're supposed to be going after the ladybug miraculous."

"Hmph! It's Terpsichore, you impatient feline. Hawkmoth gave me powers so I could complete my mission, and that's what I'm going to do first. The earrings can wait. Why don't you do it, if you're so keen?"

Chat grumbled and left the akuma to her own devices. It was no use arguing with them when they weren't in their right minds.

He could see Ladybug talking to some of the dancers, then she scurried off, no doubt in search for the akuma. He sprinted on all fours after her.

He finally caught up with her and called out, "Where you goin', Bugaboo?"

Ladybug turned around and groaned loudly as she rolled her eyes. She got into a defensive position with her yo-yo. "You again?! How did you escape?"

Chat glared at her with indignation and huffed. "I had to use Cataclysm! ON MY OWN TAIL!!"

"You what?! No way." She erupted into insufficiently suppressed snickers despite herself.

"I'm not kitten around!" He protested as he put his hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow, unamused, but she could spot the flush on his face. That confirmed it; he was telling the truth.

"For real?! Oh. My. Goodness!" She couldn't hold it in any longer and exploded into a fit of high-pitched giggling that he couldn't help but find adorable.

Chat smiled in return, secretly finding the slight humiliation worth it as long as he could hear her laugh like that... Geez, what am I thinking?! he admonished himself.

He continued more jovially, "How'd you learn to tie knots like that, anyway? What are you, a Girl Scout?"

Ladybug composed herself and her mouth quirked into a smug smile. "I'm 'fraid knot! Even if I was, I wouldn't tell you," she teased.

He exhaled with a halfhearted grumble. "Hmph. It doesn't matter. Let's get this over with." He cocked his hip and waved her over. "Come on, Ladybug, let's dance."

"I thought cats had two left feet," she taunted.

"I'll have you know I'm a fabulous dancer, or so I've been told."

"I don't really want to find out."

"Too bad!" He leaped at her, swiping his claws and feinting to one side to make her evade to the opposite one. Sensing his opportunity, he grabbed her tightly so they were chest to chest and her arms were pinned underneath his, then pushed her up against a nearby wall. She grunted from the collision and struggled to free herself.

He was almost a whole head taller, slender but still muscular and subsequently stronger, so she decided to make use of her wits instead. Ladybug noticed this "wall" was actually a large mirror several meters wide, like the type you would see at a ballroom dance studio. From his position, the reflection would be mildly distracting. She sneaked her leg in between his and moved it behind his calf, then suddenly pulled it back to cause him to lose his balance. She used the momentum to turn them both around so that Chat was the one being trapped against the wall.

She knocked the breath out of him as she slammed him hard against the mirror. He began to struggle to get out but saw something over her shoulder that caused him to stop abruptly. He looked back at her and remarked, "I wonder if your dress would have polka dots."

Ladybug gave him a puzzled look, then movement caught her eye in the mirror; it was the akuma, preparing to fire her beam at her. She quickly grabbed Chat around the waist, then spun them both around again so she could use Chat as a human shield.

Chat cried out in surprise and immediately let go of her, then began dancing with an imaginary partner. He was now wearing a black tailcoat tuxedo with green accents instead of his usual leather suit, as well as a more ornate black mask and cat ears.

He looked back at her accusingly and yelped, "HEY! That's cheating!"

She turned her attention back towards the akuma and called back. "All's fair in love and war, Kitty."

"What would you know about fairness?" the akuma, Terpsichore, spat out at them. "You two had your powers handed to you as a reward for doing nothing. I had to make a deal with a butterfly criminal to get mine, but at least now I can throw a formal dance party that everyone is invited to and nobody gets left out! They won't have to suffer such injustice and humiliation as I have suffered!"

Terpsichore continued firing at her and Ladybug bounded and somersaulted to avoid the rays. As she dodged, she kept an eye out for anything that could be used to distract the akuma, or perhaps spot the enchanted item itself. Trying to do two things at once meant her concentration was divided and she was struck from behind. Not for the first time, she wished that Chat Noir was her partner, as Tikki had promised, instead of her nemesis. Ladybug glanced back, confused. The mirror! The akuma had used it to reflect its beam and hit her from an angle.

Ladybug let out a frustrated grumble as her body stood up on its own. She looked down and saw that she was now attired in a red and black ballgown far more exquisite and ornate than anything she could have been able to craft herself.

Part of her wished Alya was around recording this whole thing on her phone, so she could look at the video post-battle and try to recreate the dress in the future...

Focus, Marinette!! She could feel Tikki reprimanding her from within. She sighed dejectedly.

The akuma propelled Ladybug toward Chat, and her magic forced them to become dance partners. "Oh, you two are just perfect together!" she beamed. "Enjoy yourselves, this is a party, after all!" She then took off, looking very pleased with herself.

Ladybug groaned loudly, "Great, just great. How long are we going to be stuck like this?!"

Chat frowned. "Hey, I'm not exactly happy about this either! She's supposed to be on my side! And is it really that bad to be stuck dancing as my dancing partner?"

She stammered, "I— that's not it! I need to go stop that akuma before it turns all of Paris into a ballroom! Plus, what if you try to get my miraculous while we dance?"

"I already tried, I can't do anything except dance."

Her jaw dropped and her eyes popped wide open. "What do you mean, you already tried?!"

"Hey, it's what I'm supposed to do, alright?! Or don't you remember? It's what I've been trying to do since the first day we met!" he snapped defensively.

"But WHY?! Why do you guys even want my miraculous anyway?" she hissed.

"I... I don't want to tell you!" He pouted as he looked away grouchily like a stubborn child.

He looked so surly and petulant that she couldn't help but suddenly burst out into giggles again.

Chat looked back at her, utterly confused. "I-it's not funny!"

She tried to keep her laughter under control. "I'm sorry, it's just... you're kind of adorable when you're pouty, Kitty. I don't think I've ever told you that before."

He cracked a tiny smile and she thought she could spot a light blush on his cheeks.

At that moment both dance partners' eyes widened in surprise as their bodies shifted of their own volition and performed an outside spin. Chat led them into the first step and they moved in tandem like a spinning top, with Ladybug on the outside of their spin. When the spin ended and they continued to waltz normally they looked at each other again and chuckled awkwardly.

Ladybug cleared her throat and resumed their conversation. "Anyway, it's just that... I can't give you my miraculous because it's too dangerous. I don't know if you already know this, but using them together to make a wish is..." she sighed, not knowing where to begin. "Balance has to be maintained to offset the effect. It can cause huge, sometimes devastating things to happen."

"...We're aware of that. And we're both willing to pay the price."

She gaped at him. "What could possibly be so important that you'd be willing to risk that?"

"It's not a 'what', it's... it's a 'who'."

Her eyes widened in realization. "But if the person is... is gone, then the price might be the life of someone else."

"Yeah, we know that too. And both of us are fine with either of us getting... with— with 'trading'."

"Chat... I- I'm sorry. This person must have been very special."

"Yeah... she was," he replied with downcast eyes.

"Chat..." she could see him trying to blink away his misty eyes. She wondered who it could be that he would risk dying for them.

He looked at her with a determined expression. "I'd do anything. I'll go along with my f— with Hawkmoth's plans if we can get her back, it'll be worth it."

"Well, that sounds noble of you both in theory, but look around you. Is this how your loved one would want it to happen?"

Chat's eyes darted away again and he didn't respond.

The next move didn't catch them by surprise as much as the previous one. They glided diagonally across the dance floor with a grace that Ladybug felt was quite uncharacteristic of her.

A while after the promenade step ended, she finally resumed, "Does the end really justify the means?"

He replied with an overly rehearsed line that still tasted sour on his tongue, "In the end we can reverse any damage with the ladybug miraculous."

"It doesn't work like that. And what if the price isn't one of you, but someone else? What if a different person, someone innocent, has to lose a loved one instead? Someone who has nothing to do with you or your side? Would Hawkmoth be okay with that too?" Her voice got quieter, "Would you be okay with that?"

"I..." she could hear the doubt creeping into his voice. Chat wasn't an evil person, she already knew that. And she could see it more clearly now; behind the cockiness and silly jokes was a scared kid who missed someone important to him.

"Why would it take someone else?" he asked weakly.

"Like I said, it's unpredictable."

"But how do you know that?"

"I..." She suddenly stopped talking and looked around, searching for the akuma. She leaned a little closer to his face, "Can Hawkmoth hear us right now?"

"N-no, only when the akuma is within earshot."

She sighed. "Look, I know there's no guarantee that you won't tell Hawkmoth what I'm about to tell you since we're... not on the same side, so I won't ask that of you. I'm sure he's already aware of it anyway, so it's not exactly a secret to him. But I don't know if he's told you. There is a... guardian. He's in charge of protecting the miraculouses."

Chat's eyes widened in surprise. "All of them?"

"Well... all except for the missing ones. The butterfly, the cat, and... one other."

"Oh... Is he here? In Paris?"

She shook her head. "I can't disclose his location. All you need to know is that I've met him."

"That's fair," he conceded.

"He used them once. The cat and ladybug miraculouses together. He wanted to achieve something out of purely good intentions." She grimaced, "It... didn't go well, to say the least. He doesn't talk about it much, but hundreds of innocent people were killed."

Chat's brows furrowed. "Oh my God..."

"I'm not just holding on to my miraculous to spite you and Hawkmoth, or because I'd rather keep my superpowers instead of helping you guys. I'm protecting it. Using a miraculous for personal gain always ends in tragedy. Always. I know you have no reason to trust me or believe me, but what would I gain by lying to you?"

Chat remained silent.