~

I'm dressed in all black as I sit on the edge of my bed, blaming myself over and over again for Garry's death. I wasn't sad but angry with myself.

We had wasted a lot of time before getting the test done, going through the week like a dying person's survival didn't depend on me even though it did.

Someone knocks on my door, and Gray walks in dressed in a black turtle neck and black pants with a black blazer. He looked ridiculously gorgeous dressed in formal attire, but I wasn't in the mood to bask his beauty.

He walks to me and squats to stare at my face, tilting his hand as he folded his hands on his laps. "Whatever it is you're doing, stop."

I raise my head and stare at him, bringing my hand to trace the outline of his jaw. "I'm fine, " I smile softly.

"You're lying, " He narrows his eyes at me.

"No, I'm not, " I shake my head. "As you can see, I seated, " I gesture dramatically with my hands.

He chuckles and ruffles my hair gently before intertwining his hands in mine. "I just don't want you to blame yourself, " he says.

"You do not owe him anything, so don't guilt yourself into thinking that it's your, " He says and pulls me up to stand with him.

I bite my lips nervously, unsure of what to believe. The truth was I could have saved Garry, but didn't. Gray pulls my lower lips out gently from between my teeth. "Can you not?"

"Sorry, " I mutter and pull him out of the room before one thing leads to another.

Dad is waiting for me downstairs, nervously pacing the living room. He has been doing that a lot lately, along with eating late, not washing up, biting his nails, walking on eggshells around me.

I knew he blamed himself for not telling me sooner about Garry, but I didn't blame him. I wouldn't tell me either if I were him.

You might have already guessed, but I'll tell you anyway. Today is Garry's funeral at the church downtown. The gist about Garry and me had spread like wildfire, and the nosy town people, who ostensibly have nothing to do, had done nothing but blame dad and me.

Dad's back is turned to me when I get downstairs, and I tap his shoulder gently to inform him about my presence.

"I'll drive with my dad, " I tell Gray, who nods in understanding.

I wasn't about to let my dad walk into the funeral home alone with all the inconsiderate people staring and gossiping while avoiding him like the plague.

We get into the car and drive to the church in comfortable silence. Dad wasn't one to succumb to unfair treatment, but this time, he wasn't saying anything because he believed they were right.

"Dad, you know it's not your fault, right?" I say after a while.

He refuses to glance at me, keeping his eyes focused on the road. "Don't tell me that just to make me feel better. I knew for six months but didn't say anything. I'm partly at fault."

"But, you can't put yourself down because of -,"

"I didn't care, Dove!" He bangs his hand on the steering wheel. "I didn't care, " he whispers in a softer tone.

"I knew there was a fifty percent chance you could be a match, but I didn't care. I knew he was dying, but I didn't care. I just didn't, " He repeats, his voice hoarse and slightly unsteady.

I lean back in my chair without saying a word, feeling the tears prick the back of my eyes. My thoughts drift to Ashley and her being alone at a time like this.

Ashley was as close to her dad as I was to mine. Her mum was a businesswoman, who was never really around while she grew up, so she spent the most time with her dad. She used to complain about how she sees her mum once in three months, and I'd tell her to be grateful that she at least had a mum.

Dad pulls up to the parking lot at the funeral home, his tires making a sharp sound against the gravel stones.

I pull out my phone to send a message to Ashley, but my hand hovers over the call button. Finally, deciding to push my pride aside, I dial her number.

As usual, she doesn't pick. I roll my eyes and switch off my phone, but before I do, my eye catches today's date.

I'd been so preoccupied with Garry's death that I didn't even realize how important today was. I dial Ashley's number, but she still doesn't pick up.

So I decided to send her a simple message, instead.

I get down from the car, realizing that I could wish her a happy birthday when I see her in person.

Upon entering the funeral home, I see Gray and Aaron rushing out. They ran past me so fast towards Gray's car that I didn't even have the time to stop them.

Zyair follows suit, but I grab his arms before he could go further. He turns to me, his eyes filled with panic and concern.

"What happened?" I ask, furrowing my brows.

"It's Ashley," That's all he says before he runs towards his car.

I feel the blood drain from my face as I feared the worse.

Running after him, I enter his car before he could start the engine. I sit in the passenger seat and wear the seatbelt. "What happened?" I ask.

"She's missing. Her mother said she left home last night and didn't return this morning. She's supposed to give a speech today, so we're trying to look for her, " Zyair explains to me as he starts the car engine and pulls out of the parking lot.

"What? What about Zoe? Did you ask Zoe? " I bombard Zyair with questions as I pull out my phone to call Ashley.

Zyair shakes his head. "Zoe hasn't seen her either." He replies and dials Gray's number on his phone.

Gray picks up on the second ring, and Zyair puts him on speaker. "Do you have any idea where she might be?" Zyair asks, his voice laced with concern and fear.

I knew exactly why he was scared. Ashley is a very impulsive person who does things without thinking first. Whenever she feels angry or out of place, she never fails to lash out, and most times, people always get hurt.

This time, we were scared she might hurt herself. I try to think of places she might be. Places she goes to whenever she feels down or sad.

The beach, " my brain snaps.

"She might be at the beach, Daze beach," I repeat my words.

"Is that Kelch?" Gray's voice comes from the other end.

"We are going to check the beaches. You guys should check restaurants or hotels. Let me know if you find her, " Zyair says hastily and hangs up on Gray immediately.

He glances at me and the phone in my hand. "Ashley isn't picking up?"

I shake my head dejectedly with a sigh. Just before I cut the call, she picks up.

"Hello."

I heave a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice. "Ashley, where are you?" I ask, going straight to the point.

"It doesn't matter anymore, " She replies, her voice void of emotions.

Zyair makes a hand gesture, asking me to keep her talking on the phone as he drives to Daze Beach.

We had at least five beaches in our town, and couldn't waste time searching for her every single one. We needed to get her to before she does something irrational.

"Ashley, can you please just tell me where you are, " I ask again. I could hear the faint sound of the beach hitting the shore and silently hope I was right about her being at Daze.

"I told her I didn't want him buried today. The one person that cared about me is gone, so what's the point of living, " she replies in a brittle voice.

A frustrated sigh escapes my lips, and I run a hand through my hair, unsure of what to tell her.

"There are still multiple reasons to keep living Ash, " I whisper gently. I was about to talk about our friendship bucket list when I remembered she doesn't consider me a friend.

I try hard to think of something else she really wanted to achieve. Babies!

"You always talk about how you'll name your first son after your dad. That seems like a perfect way to honor his memory, " I say, slightly chewing on the edge of my acrylic nails.

"Please don't act as if you care about me now. It's disgusting, " Ashley replies, her voice laced with venom.

"I've always been nothing but a good friend to you. Why do you keep acting this way when you're the one that ruined our friendship, " I yell angrily.

I had a lot of issues to deal with, and I was tired of the unfair treatment I've always gotten from her. I do not have to put up with her attitude, yet I do just because I want peace to reign.

"I ruined our friendship?" She scoffs, her tone tight, showing her annoyance. "Dove, I was always your best friend, but you were never mine.

"I was always there to pick you up and wipe your tears whenever you get your heart broken by your stupid boyfriend, who, by the way, would probably still end up hurting you."

Again, she's bringing Gray into this. She always does.

"You've always had a perfect life, Ashley. The only issue you've ever had is deciding what color to paint your nails, " I point out, feeling my anger rising by the minute.

Ashley scoffs and sniffs back her tears. "Never fucking mind, " She mutters angrily.

"Don't tell me that. If there's a problem, fucking talk to me."

"I tried to tell you so many times, back when we were still friends. But you always shun me and shut me out. You created this perfect image of me in your head, and at first, I didn't want to let you down, but ended up letting myself down."

A pounding ache thumps at my head, making me tired of the discussion. I was very sure Ashley's just overreacting whatever it was. "You can tell me whatever it is now, " I reply in a flat voice.

She scoffs again. "You still sound like you don't care, " She breathes.

"I care, but I don't understand what could have been such a big deal-, "

"I got pregnant, " She cuts me off, her voice shrill and shaky.

Zyair steps on the breaks upon hearing her words, making the car come to an abrupt halt on the highway. Car horns fly everywhere, but Zyair is too shocked to move, and so am I.

"I got pregnant when I was 16. I was super scared, and I never told you because I liked the way you thought of me. The fictional Ashley in your head wasn't me. So I decided to abort the child and never speak about it again, " Her voice shakes on the other end.

I couldn't tell if she was crying really hard or if she was trying really hard not to sob.

A car swerves past us, throwing curse words our way. Zyair had his head bent on the steering wheel, his breathing unsteady. "Zyair, drive, " I tap his shoulders, but he refuses to budge.

I sigh frustratedly and return my attention to Ashley. "Ashley, I'm so sorry for not being there, but you can have more babies-, "

"I can't, " She cuts me off in a firm voice.

"What?"

"A few weeks after I had the abortion in an uncredited clinic, I started having severe tummy aches-, " She stops talking and muffles her cries with her hands. "My mum took me to a hospital, and the doctor there said I had destroyed my womb and can't have any more babies."

My brows pulled together in sympathy, and my eyes moisten as I listen to her. My ears are unable to believe what she just said. More than anything, I knew how important having a baby was to Ashley. She always wanted to feel the thrill and joy of carrying a baby, but now-

"Ashley, " Zyair's voice comes hoarse as he raises his head, his eyes filled with anguish.

The car is still at a halt, other cars avoided us, and some drivers threw us the middle finger.

"Is Zyair with you?" Ashley asks, acknowledging his presence.

"Who got you pregnant?" He asks, grabbing my phone from my hand to speak into it.

"Is that what matters now?" She says, and I could almost hear her roll her eyes.

"To me, Yes. So please, answer my question, " Zyair pleads, his brows furrow with concern.

Ashley kisses her teeth, her unsteady breathing heard through the phone. "I can't -, "

"Was it me?" Zyair asks, cutting her off.

My neck snaps fast to gaze at him, but he had eyes focused on my phone, waiting for her to reply.

"Zyair, can you stop-"

He cuts her off again. "Ashley, please just answer the question, " he says, his voice firm and authoritative as he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Was I the one who got you pregnant?" He repeats his question a little louder, the inside corners of his eyebrows slanting upward.

Her shaky and unsteady breathing is all we can hear for a while before she speaks.

" Yes."

•••••••••••••

QOTD- Who are the 3 greatest living musicians to you?

>> Rihanna, Harry Styles, and Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift was literally my childhood. I used to sing her songs with so much passion, and you'd wonder who broke this 12-year old's heart😂.

Kindly, vote, comment or share if you liked this chapter ❤️