《All I ever wanted》43. Hurt
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I'm standing at the veranda, waiting for Fawn to return with our drinks. She had been telling me about her feelings and how she felt used by Zyair.
To be honest, I felt guilty at some point because I had urged her to go for Zyair since she liked him. The same way I advised Ashley a few years ago.
Suddenly, my wrist is gripped and pulled back into a room by a strong pair of arms. "Fa-, "
My words are caught in my throat when I come face to face with Luca. I fold my arms over my chest, trying my best to mask my panic. "What do you want?"
He doesn't say a word, silently grilling me with his eyes. He drops his head with a sigh, letting his eyes stare at the ground. "You hate me."
Oh, really? What gave it away?
"Why are you here? Are you trying to kidnap me again?"
His head shoots up, an almost sad look in his eyes. "That wasn't my idea. I protected you, Dove!"
"You tried to shoot my legs!" I narrow my eyes at him angrily. He was manipulatively trying to make himself a victim of the circumstances.
"I had no choice!" He leans forward, trying to reach out to me.
"You did! You had a choice and made your decision! That's on you!" I flinch back, swerving his hands.
"It's clear you don't see me because you are blinded by Gray. You saw Gray murder someone, but you still chose him!" He yells, his chest rising as he fumes.
My eyes widen as realization dawns on me. He knew. Luca knew about Gray all along.
"You knew! You took me to that restaurant on purpose. You wanted me to see Gray kill a person," I narrow my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief. He had been fucked up from the start, but I was too blinded to see it.
"Did you ever even like me? Was it all to get to Gray?"
Luca shakes his head and opens his mouth both no words come out. "I lov-like you, Dove. You won't believe me, but I do care about you, " He furrows his brows, his lips turned downward.
"You don't try to kill someone you love. I know Gray would rather die than shoot me, and I'd do the same for him. Why? Because we are in LOVE, " I say my words slowly, not caring about his feelings.
He could go to hell for all I care.
Luca's eyes visibly darken at my words, and I smirk, knowing I'd hit him where it hirt. A mischievous look spreads across his face, and he points at a red dot light on his chest. A light I had been too angry to notice.
"Do you know what this is?" He asks, a small smirk playing on his lips.
I knew what that was. Anyone who watches movies knows what a red light emitted from outside means. A gun. Someone must be on another building, pointing a gun in our direction.
Folding my arms across my chest, I put on a nonchalant expression on my face. "Are you trying to kill me again?"
He frowns and shakes his head, pointing his finger outside. I follow his gaze, and my heart drops to the ground.
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Gray is out on the veranda, staring down at his phone. The red light plays on his shirt. My head snaps back to Luca, and I clench my fist, digging my fingernails into my palm.
"What do you want?" I glare at him, trying my hardest to keep calm.
He tilts his head and smirks. "Let me kiss you."
A laugh escapes from my lips. "You're kidding."
He smacks his lips and taps his wrist. "Don't let Gray get hurt because of you. You said you could die for him," He smirks, folding his arms over his chest.
"Just one phone call and Gray would be-,"
I close my eyes and place a kiss on his lips without thinking. Luca wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in, biting on my lips, trying to get me to part my lips.
Before I could pull away, a loud glass shattering sound erupts behind me. I twirl my body to see Gray breaking the glass with his fist, his crimson blood dripping all over the floor.
He strides past me, clenching his fist, heading for Luca. To say he looked angry would be an understatement. I hug him from behind, tightening my grip on his waist and feeling his muscles loosen under my body.
He stops in his tracks, and I slid my hand down his arm to intertwine our fingers. "Please, don't, " I plead with a croak.
"Did he force himself on you?" Gray asks, firming his grip on my fingers. I close my eyes, and a tear slides down my face.
I didn't want him to keep fighting because of me. I didn't want him to get in trouble because of me.
"Did he hurt you?" He asks again, his eyes trained on an amused Luca.
Luca laughs out loud, his evil laughter resonating in the room. "She kissed me. She knows you are pathetic and decided to give herself to me to save you," he speaks in a hitter tone.
I feel Gray's body tense under me, and I slightly pull away from him to give him space. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have kissed Luca. A tiny voice at the back of my mind refutes that claim. There was a gun pointed at Gray. That was the only way I could help.
I close my eyes, waiting for Gray's questions, refusing to look at his face.
"Is that what you're resorting to now?" He asks with a scoff, glaring down at Luca. "Blackmailing? I'd like to say I thought you were better than that, but I never think about you."
He folds his arms and walks till his inches away from Luca's face. "You might have taken Jay, but the last thing I'd let-,"
"Jay isn't dead, " Luca cuts Gray off, a mischievous smile on his face. He lets his eyes flick to me. "Break up with her, and I'll let Jay go."
"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's losing, " Luca whispers in Gray's ears, his eyes trained on me. "And like I said before, I. Want. Dove."
"Well, we don't always get what we want," Gray replies with a fake smile.
Luca mirrors Gray's facial expression and turns to walk away. "Think about what I said."
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He departs from the room, leaving Gray and me alone. Gray turns out to me, and I mentally prepare myself for his barrage of questions. Instead, he pulls me in for a big hug, trailing his hands up and down my spine, nuzzling his face in my neck.
"Let's go home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Throughout the ride home, I wait for him to say something, yet he was as quiet as a lamb, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. Jay, and what Luca said.
Gray had always blamed himself for what happened to Jay, but if Jay were truly alive, it would change everything.
Breaking up with me seemed like a small price to pay to save Jay, and I knew he was thinking the same thing.
"Just talk to me, Gray, " I blurt out, unable to condone the internal conflict I was going through.
He spares me a glance, a confused expression on his face. "About?"
"Don't avoid the topic."
"I'm not avoiding anything. I just don't know what you want me to say."
With a scoff, I lean back into my seat, folding my arms over my chest. I wasn't ready for him to cheat on me or do something stupid in an attempt to break us up.
I'd prefer he goes straight to the point without beating around the bush.
"Are you going to say it, or should I?"
He lets out a frustrated sigh and runs his hand through his hair. "What do you want me to say, Kelch? Let's break up?"
I bit down on my lower lips, hurt by his detached tone. He sounded nonchalant, making me feel like the problem.
"Yes. You're going to do it anyway."
"I'm not breaking up with you, Kelch."
"You're thinking about it. If Jay's alive-,"
"We can't trust what Luca says," He cuts me off, refusing to meet my eyes.
"But what if Jay's alive? What are you going to do then?"
Gray goes silent, tightening his grip on the steering till his knuckles turn white, further confirming my speculations. I wouldn't expect him to still be with me if leaving me would save Jay, but a selfish voice at the back of my mind hoped he wouldn't leave me.
"I'm not leaving you."
"You're only saying that to make me feel better. You don't have to lie to me," I snap.
Gray swerves to the side and parks his car. He turns his body until he is staring at my side profile. This time, I'm the one refusing to meet his eyes.
"You already have a preconceived notion about me, " He says, narrowing his eyes.
"Preconceived? You made me think this way about you! I gave you a chance to know me, and you hurt me!"
"And I've apologized! But clearly, you're not over it," he spits, his voice laced with venom and hurt.
I snap my head to him, searching his face for any sign of remorse, but all I got was hurt and exhaustion. Everything was taking a toll on him, and I was the biggest contributor to his pain.
"You know I don't think this is working out," I shake my head, running my hand through my curls.
"The fight? Yeah, me neither," He leans back into his seat.
"Gray. I meant you and me."
He drags his eyes away from me, revving the car engine. "I don't want to talk to you right now."
"You don't have to say anything," I reply, swallowing back my tears.
If he wasn't ready to end it, I was. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing there's a slight chance Jay could be alive. Or maybe I wanted to save myself from the heartbreak when Gray decides to end it later.
"Let's break up," I say, staring down at my fingernails.
Gray ignores me and stretches out his hand to switch on the stereo. I stop him by placing my hand on his.
"Gray?"
"I don't understand what you want you to break up. I thought our little spat had ended."
"Luca said Jay's alive," I point out, tilting my head to stare at his face.
"And how exactly is breaking up with me going to help? He's just trying to tear us apart!" His voice is louder than usual.
"There's no reason why we should be together if it's causing everyone pain. First Jay. Second, I'm sure Luca is responsible for the leaked video of Aaron and Elliot. Who else are we going to let get hurt just because we refuse to let go of each other!"
We get to our house, and Gray parks his car at the parking lot. He heaves a deep sigh as he turns off the car engine, giving me his full attention.
"You can't leave me, Kelch. Not you," His voice is low and soft, breaking my heart with every whisper.
But I can't do this anymore. I'm too scared. I was scared the first time Luca pointed a gun at me, but when the gun was pointed at Gray, I felt a whole new level of fright.
"I don't want anyone else to get hurt."
"No one else is going to get hurt," He pleads with me.
I shake my head, digging my nails into my palm to stop myself from hugging him. "We can't be sure. There's a list, Gray. They almost sent Aaron out of the country."
"But we stopped it. We can overcome anything. I just need you by my side, Kelch."
"We didn't change Mr. Baker's mind. We only delayed his plans. Aaron's still going home to a father that refuses to love him for who he is. What if there's worst to come. I just can't," I reply, hearing the crack in my voice.
I run my hand through my hair and down my face, wiping off any stray tear. Gray is still staring at me, his glassy eyes unblinking.
I sniff away my tear and look him in the eyes as I say the words I knew would break both of us. "I'm done."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
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