I need somebody to heal

Somebody to know

Somebody to have

Somebody to hold

It's easy to say,

But it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain,

Now the day bleeds

Into night fall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

—

Eddy was bored. Extremely bored. It was a Sunday night and he found himself all alone in his bed sheets with a bottle of water for God-knows-the-reason why. He was too exhausted and desperately needed to vent out his thoughts. He decided on alcohol but remembering it was a Monday the next day, he chose otherwise. Instead he decided to browse YouTube. In order to find something which would distract him from everything. He found some weird stuff, along with more weird stuff, along a with a lot of weird stuff. Turtles making love? Check. A man breaking a cello? Check. A man playing an air flute? Check. Prodigies? Che- Yeah he didn't actually watch the whole video. Since he wanted nothing, absolutely nothing, no connection whatsoever with music. The flute, you ask? Well that was just air and you can't actually do anything with that skill. The cello? I mean, he broke it anyways. Shouldn't have though, it was pretty. Eddy flinched. Real hard.

Yes, he hated music. But not to a level that he would break his own vio- that was a cursed thought. After all he needed something still tied back to his past, because he couldn't just forget everything right? 'No you can't Eddy,' the voice in his head spoke once more. First time in a long time. 'You can leave your past behind, but you can never remove it from your memories. It will be there. It what makes you, you.'

Something was off. The voice had changed. The pitch was kind of similar but the voice was more feminine. Very feminine and very known. "Who are you?" Eddy asked the darkness, wanting a response but to no avail. Well, his mind was his mind, after all. He wouldn't know until he himself didn't remember. He was basically talking to himself. Eddy switched off the phone and stared at the edge of the bed, trying to remember whose voice it was. When suddenly it hit him. 'Stupid you, Eddy. Couldn't remember me now, huh?' The voice said, with a soft, stern yet playful tone. "Of course." Eddy scoffed at himself, lowering his head to grin at his stupidity.

It was his sister, Belle.

'Now will you please pick up your mobile, and call Belle?' His voice asked. 'She might be worried, you haven't called her in months.' Eddy nodded, "You're right." So he did, he picked up his mobile phone and clicked on the contacts lists. Belle was the only one except ... to start with B in his list. He quickly pressed in the call icon, and listened to soft C sharp of the phone buzzing. "Hello! Eddy you alright? You never picked up any calls?" His sister's enthusiasm was something which Eddy always envied. She could have a broken little toe but her face would bear the beautiful smile she had and her voice would always be energetic, showering positive energy on everyone. "Yeah I'm doing great. How are you doing?" Belle response with, "I'm good too bro. So what happened? Why'd you suddenly call at 11PM?" Eddy looked at his phone's watch and mentally facepalmed. Belle was probably having dinner. "Nothing actually, just felt like I should call, you know? Like check up on people? Know if they're alright, since you haven't been calling too for like months." Eddy could hear Belle chuckle, "Ah, so I didn't call you, so you got worried?" Eddy nodded and quickly said, "Hm." Knowing Belle couldn't see him. "Well you weren't picking up my calls, I figured you needed some time." Her voice lowered, Eddy knew what she was pointing at. He knew very that she understood why he was calling. Why his conscience wanted him to check up on her.

Because someone wasn't doing so, and it was hurting Eddy. He didn't want to hurt his sister like that too. He figured if he could do something, it would be- live a happy life. Move on. Move ahead and don't look back.

And that's what he did. Well, later. Currently, he was spacing out. "Hello? Hello? Eddy, you there? You okay?" Belle's voice seemed concerned. "Yes, yes! I'm here. Actually, er- I gotta go. I forgot to get some stuff from the grocery." Belle sighed in relief. She didn't particularly like Eddy suddenly shutting up and going all silent. "Well, okay. Bye then for now. You call when you want to okay? I'm always free for you. Love you bro." Eddy smiled wide, knowing that this person was not lying. "Love you a ton too, Belle." And then, the call ended. Leaving a very happy Eddy on his bed.

Eddy had realised over a span on 3 minutes 12 seconds that life was too short. To short to be sad. Too short to be mad at someone. Too short to care for someone who wouldn't reciprocate the feeling. Too short to live knowing that you haven't lived at all.

So he moved ahead. Pushed away every dark thing that came his way. Every one who had a chance of hurting him in future. Everything that never meant anything. Everyone who never meant anything, and started anew. Started afresh. New friends, new hobbies, new living, new life. All new.

If Brett doesn't care then why should I? Why should I shed my tears? Why should I sit alone? Why should I be sad? Why should I apologise? Why should I have no one?

Eddy started slow. A step at a time. He started by talking more. His newfound confidence was startling for some kids but most appreciated Eddy speaking up. They liked his humour. Teachers had a fond look on their face. Then, he made friends. He never let them too close to his heart. No, he was not ready to be broken again. But he needed friends. Just like you, just like him, just like anyone else. Then he started doing stuff that was very unlike him. He started going to the gym! He was ready to work out. He felt good. Amazing, infact. He made close friends, but not that close like him... Eddy had now grown this weird habit of never calling him by his name. One he never told anyone of his friends of him, of Brett. Two, he tried to never think of him. Yes, sometimes his mind would wander off and think thoughts he should not but everything gets better with practice. Practice, aah. That's something he didn't do, neither would he ever. He thought of giving his violin off to someone but somewhere, something in his heart stopped him. The thought of it went away as quickly as it came. His new set of friends were... good. Positive, helping, caring. Caring, yes. They, three were friends for a year now. Eddy, Soo-Lin, Robert. Yes, three. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and Eddy was never a person who would have 5,000 friends. He instead liked having three friends who would just understand him, and not betray him. Quality over quantity.

A year, wow. A year had passed since Brett... just stopped. Stopped everything. It was like he never existed.

And better off without him, Eddy looked towards his future goal with more zeal and passion. He still remembers when Soo-Lin walked in on Eddy sleeping on his assignments. She had slapped his arm, woken him up, pulled him out of his bedroom and without a word drove him off to the nearest bubble tea shop. No matter how much Eddy protested that he had a crap-ton of work, Soo-Lin didn't stop. He still remembers Robert teaching him biology. He still remembers partying with them. He still remembers that night when he called Belle.

"Eddy, baby you're zoning out." Robert said.

Eddy shook his head with an intense speed. "Huh?" He looked around, "B-baby?" He stuttered. 'Is Robert drunk again?' He wondered. Soo-Lin started laughing aloud, almost toppling Rob's bubble tea. "We called you like 6 times! You were zoning out and looking at you bubble tea and just smiling. Smiling like a maniac. What? Wanna marry it or wha-?" Soo-Lin screeched. Eddy just blinked, processing her words. "I was just thinking." Rob cut in, "Of what? Marrying the tea?" Eddy chuckled, "No, of you guys. You are the first people I met who are really close to me." Eddy said, struggling a bit. But he got a grip on himself. At least Brett had taught him the classic dead-pan look. "Aww, Eddy. Now don't make us all feel flustered. Really saying, I was shy too. Before I met you guys." Soo-Lin said looking down. "My dad had left my mom. And I never got to have a good childhood. It was always moving here and there. Choosing sides. Crying at night. Getting bullied in the hallways." She continued. "But you guys made me feel better. Like, you know, that I exist too. No one really cared for me. My mom says I was an accident. I even tried-killing myself. Because I thought if I disappeared no one would even notice." Her words really hit the other two boys. "I promise Soo-Lin, in behalf of Rob and I, we wouldn't ever leave you." Rob smiled, holding Eddy's and Soo-Lin's hand. "I promise to never leave you, nor this group. And if anyone tries hurting my friends, I'll kick their butts." Rob proudly stated. "And Soo-Lin, it's not just you. I have a past too. My brother- broth- he died in a car accident. When he was 12. Everyone has a past. Everyone has a future too. And it's their own choice how they want to live it. I'm so glad you didn't choose the wrong road." Eddy just smiled, a sad smile. Then he spoke up, "Why fall to death? Let it come your way." He started clearing his throat. "I too had- a past." And both the other people looked at him. "He- Brett, Brett Yang. My childhood best friend," he scoffed after saying that. "The person who doesn't even bother to ask if I'm alive or not."

And with that an evening was spent.

Eddy telling his story, Soo-Lin telling hers. Rob sharing his. A few tears shed hear and there. Eddy returned to his house feeling better. Feeling like a huge rock was off his chest. For the first time, he felt uncomfortable looking at his dark living room. There was no need for darkness. He had reached the light. Because he knew, he was now, loved.

Something, someone could never have done.