I opened Ruffles's door wider and leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed over my chest. Ares gazed over with wide eyes and scooted up the bed until he leaned against the headboard. And Ruffles... well, she sunk her claws into his chest and moved with him. She gazed over at me with that smug smirk on her face that said he's-mine.

"You knew about Ruffles the whole time, didn't you?" I asked.

Ares parted his lips to say something, but then cracked a smile and brushed his palm against her back, making her fur wiggle. "Yeah," he said. His face scrunched together, and he sneezed again.

I grabbed Ruffles from off of his chest and let her rest her head on my shoulder. She growled in my ear, but relaxed after I scratched her head. "Why didn't you tell me that you're allergic?" I asked.

He gazed down at the bed and frowned. The frightening Ares was gone, and I could finally see Mars again. "Because I wanted you to be happy."

"But you're allergic to her."

"Yeah, but... I can deal with it. I couldn't deal with not having you around, Aurora."

I didn't know how to feel. My wolf and I were both hesitant to trust him again. But hearing my real name roll off of his tongue instead of his nickname for me hurt... a bit. Though I rather him say my real name until I could trust that he wouldn't hurt me anymore. Him saying... Kitten... and me enjoying it a little too much would make everything worse.

I needed to talk to Charolette about the reasons for Ares wanting the stone, but it was nearly 10pm and I didn't want to disturb her and Mr. Barrett. So, I placed Ruffles down on Ares's shirt that she had claimed with all her fur and nodded to the forest. "You promised me that we'd go running in the forest when we got back," I said. I tugged my hair into a high ponytail, letting Ares see his mark on me. "Have you changed your mind?"

He furrowed his brow, a look of confusion crossing his face. "But... I thought you couldn't shift."

"That doesn't mean I can't run." I started toward the door. "Have your guards in the forest. Let them watch me kick your ass even in human form." I threw him a small smile and walked out of the room.

Staying here would mean that he would want to talk about my shifting abilities, and I was fine with talking about it... but I needed to show him. Seeing it up close was different than just talking about it. Seeing it was real. Hearing it was real. Experiencing it was real.

We could talk about it all he wanted, but once he saw me try to shift... that's when I would know if what we had was real. If he could stay with me and still want me after that, then I could start to trust him again.

And, if he went batshit crazy on me, I could actually run away from him.

Ares broke out into a grin, his eyes lighting up. He followed me out of the room, humming and smiling like an idiot to himself. We started through the forest in our human forms. I tried to pump myself up for what I was about to do in front of him--shift.

For years, I hadn't shifted in front of anyone. I would always go behind some trees or shift deep in the woods and try to hide myself. I didn't want anyone to see how weak I truly was, but I needed Ares to see.

My wolf stirred inside of me, not wanting to even think about shifting. It hurt her worse than it hurt me.

Though we ran much slower than he did in his wolf form, he didn't say a word the whole time about it. He continued to run next to me, his forearm brushing against mine every so often. I jumped over some twigs and around some other trees and finally slowed when a small lake came into view.

"Do you want to run in your wolf?" I asked, gnawing on the inside of my lip.

"No," he said. "This is fine."

I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and tugged it over my head.

A part of me felt like I had to show him how weak my wolf truly was. But the other part of me really wanted to show him. I wanted to run with his wolf. I wanted him to see me for who I was. Nobody had loved me like he had, especially not Mom. Nobody accepted me like he did when we were in the woods with those Hounds.

Ares's lip curled into a smirk. "If you wanted to be fucked in the woods..." He stepped closer to me. "We didn't have to run all the way out here. I rather fuck you near the packhouse, rather everyone in my pack heard their luna being ravished."

I slid down my pants and stepped away from him. "We're not here to have sex, Ares." I gulped and tried to calm my breathing. Every time I tried shifting, my heart raced and my palms sweat and all I could think about was the pain slowly festering inside of me. "We are going to run in our wolves."

His eyes widened and flashed gold. Ares. Ares was back. "No, Aurora... We can't." He parted his lips to say something but then closed them. "We don't have to, I mean."

"Don't you want to see my wolf?" I asked.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Goddess, more than anything."

"Then, I will shift."

He clenched his jaw, eyes flashing and staying gold. "Aurora, it will hurt you. Ares--I--have hurt you too much last night. I don't want you to go through anymore pain for me. Hell, you don't ever have to shift again, if you don't want to." He tugged on my wrist. "Let's continue running. There is a waterfall about a mile deeper into the forest that I want to take you to."

I tugged my hand away from his and rested it on his chest. "I have to show you this, Ares. Now. You need to see me for who I am."

The moonlight bounced off of his golden eyes. He searched my face for a hint of regret, of resistance, of something. After a few moments, he furrowed his brow and nodded his head. "Okay," he said. "If you need to stop, if you want to stop... please." He grasped my hand so desperately. It was like he didn't want me to push him away if things got too bad. He wanted to make sure that I was safe, that I was always safe.

I slid my bra straps down my shoulders and stared right at him. "You have to promise me that you'll stay here and watch the whole time. You can't leave me here. You can't look away. You will stay no matter how long it takes, no matter how loud I scream, no matter how much pain I am in."

He gulped and hesitantly nodded his head. "I'm not going to leave you."

After removing my underwear and placing all of my clothes in a pile near Ares, I called to my wolf. She stood on edge inside of me, her heart racing almost as quickly as mine did. We could do this. We could shift. We had to shift.

I dropped onto all fours and took a deep breath. Dear Moon Goddess, please make this quick. Please don't make this hurt as much as it did last time, for my mate. He wouldn't be able to handle it.

Won't work. Can't shift. Mate... My wolf gazed at a patient-looking Ares. ... Mate won't love us once he sees. She howled inside of me, pain erupting all over my body. I clenched my jaw. We hadn't even started shifting, yet I could already feel the pain creeping into my veins, pumping through my entire being.

My blood. My muscles. My mind.

Mate will hate us.

"We don't know unless we try," I whispered to myself.

Mom hates us.

I frowned, tears filling my eyes from all of her harsh words. I remember the first time I tried shifting after the attack and that look of pure disgust on her face, the you're-not-my-daughter, this-isn't-my-daughter look.

Mom hates us so much for it. We are nothing to her. She traded us to have a prosperous pack. Ares will try to trade us back. He will call us cripple, worthless, incopetent too.

"Please," I whispered again.

If he rejects us... She paused for a long time. ... don't blame me.

A sharp pain split through my side, and I dug my fingernails into the dirt. I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my whimpers of pain quiet.

My skin suddenly stretched farther than it should have, but didn't turn to fur. Instead, it continued to stretch and so did my muscles. I could hear my bones snapping and joining back together, like a fucking terrorizing symphony. They snapped and joined ten, twenty, twenty-five times... I didn't know.

Time passed, and I stopped counting the minutes. Instead, I counted the specs of fucking dirt under my palms, anything to keep me sane, anything to distract me.

Pure pain pumped through every single one of my veins, making my whole body ache. And when my thoracic spine cracked, I let out a piercing scream. My upper body arched hard, my chest against the ground.

"Aurora," Ares said. He knelt down in front of me, placing his hands on the ground and scooting down to my level. "You don't have to do this."

I growled at him, then cried out to the Moon Goddess. Canines ripped through my gums, making them bleed. The blood slowly dripped out of my mouth, rolled down my neck, fell onto the dirt below me.

My lumbar spine cracked this time, contorting into a shape that I hadn't felt in a couple of months. The crack was worse than my thoracic, yet the worse was still to come. The worst was when my cervical spine cracked, right under the stone.

Sweat dripped down my neck, and I tried so hard to shift. I tried so fucking hard. But the pain was unbearable. My bones continued to crack, every muscle in my spine seemed to be pulsing, tears streamed down my cheeks, and I couldn't even quiet my cries.

We can't. We can't do it. Too much pain.

I furrowed my brows together and shook my head wildly back and forth. We had to.

We can't.

My body suddenly felt beyond weak. My head felt cloudy, yet the pain was so raw. I couldn't do this. My wolf was right. All we were was weak. I slouched forward, trying to take some pressure off of my back. The stone was burning into my muscles and vertebrae.

I could hear Ares approach me, and I was about to scream at him to leave me alone. But then I saw his wolf standing over me. He shoved his face into the crook of my neck and licked his mark. "You can do it, Kitten. You can do it."

My heart clenched, and I used all the strength I had left. Pushed through all of the pain that I had ever felt. And let the last part of my body--the vertebral right near my stone--crack so I could shift.