Happy birthday to a bad bitchhhh!" the atrocious singing voice of Eliana woke me up from my peaceful slumber.

With a smile on my face, I turned over in the bed meeting her and Noelle's phone flash. Also in Eliana's hand was a debbie cupcake with a single lit candle. I hid my face away from the cameras knowing that I wasn't in my best element. My hair was pulled up into a pineapple, wrapped in a scarf, and I was sure I had an eye booger or two.

"Y'all are shot out for doing me dirty like this." I shook my head.

"You look beautiful babe." said Noelle. "C'mon you have to make a wish and blow out your candle."

I dropped my hand closing my eyes for a quick second to make a silent wish. When it was made, I blew the candle out earning a squeal from the each of them. They then dove atop of me to show me even more love that I greatly appreciated. My girls were everything to me which was why I chose to spend my 24th birthday out of the country with them.

"As much as I'm loving all of this love, I really have to pee."

"Okay but hurry up. I thought you said today is yacht day."

"It is. We have to be at the dock by ten."

"Then get up bitch. It's your birthdayyyyy!" Eliana threw her arms up as she emerged out of the room.

"This girl is insane." I mumbled to myself, climbing from the bed to go in the conjoined bathroom.

Chills were sent up my spine as soon as my bare feet collided with the bathroom's cool tile flooring. I raised the shade covering the large window above the deep set bathtub, inviting sunlight. It reflected off of the enormous mirror atop a granite counter top with a his/hers sink, giving me the perfect view of myself.

As suspected, I looked crazy — as if I'd just opened my eyes after a long needed rest – which I had. I used the toilet before fully turning toward the mirror to clean my face and brush my teeth.

Once I was done, I removed my scarf and hair tie allowing my curls to fall past my shoulders wildly. Since we would be on a yacht with the wind blowing, and getting in the water there would be no need to do anything special. Therefore, I put my hair into two large dutch braids.

I went back into the room scanning through my small collection of bathing suits then chose a neon blue tinikini by Sel Doval. It was a very risqué, leaving hardly anything to the imagination. The top covered my nipples and the bottom was a g-string, but I loved everything about it. After I had it on along with a white cover up, I placed a pair of shades on the top of my head.

"Do y'all need any sunscreen?" I walked out to the front, holding the bottle up.

"We got some." replied Noelle. "But I see you shawty. Looking like an edible."

"Thank you, thank you." I modeled the bathing suit across the room, spun around then struck a pose. "Where's Eliana?"

"On the phone with that guy from the bar. Were they a thing back in the day?"

I frowned. "No."

"Okay...were you two? You seem to have some type of animosity toward him." she squinted at me.

"No. Not really." I shrugged. "We were just really great friends. Best friends actually."

"So what went wrong? Why aren't y'all friends still?"

"I feel like he did me really dirty and until he apologizes for it, he'll feel all of my anger."

"What did he do? Come talk to me while we wait on her." she patted the seat beside her.

I sighed not wanting to talk about it on my day, knowing for a fact I was probably going to cry. However, I needed to talk about it before I ran myself crazy. Ever since he'd popped back up everything that took place had been on my mind, eating me alive. I knew it was bad for me not to express it. The act of bottling my emotions always caused me to fall into a sunken place. Believe it or not, I was the pure definition of a Cancer woman.

I wasn't a big believer in Astrology, but the horoscopes and birth chart meanings were too spot on not to be real. To read something that pointed out all of my qualities and flaws without knowing who I was, made me feel exposed. I didn't like it but I loved it at the same time.

"He and I were always closer than Eli and I. He was my person. I was always there for him, had his back thru whatever, and he would do the same for me. It was one of the best friendships I had until he moved away. No one knew that he was moving either. He just up and left." I started with a sigh.

"The day before he left, I snuck him into my house because it wasn't great at home for him. We pretty much had a heart to heart and he told me that his uncle had opened his home to him in Houston. He never said that he was actually going but he did hint about just up and leaving." I took a brief pause. "He asked how would I feel about it and I told him straight up that I would be devastated. We said a few things and one thing led to another, and before I knew it he was giving him my virginity.

"It was everything I imagined it to be, Noelle." a smile graced my lips as I thought about it. "The love, the passion, and care. I loved every minute of it. I didn't even want him to leave after we woke up. I just wanted to continue basking in the moment, but he left to go home and he moved that same night. I never saw nor heard from him ever again until that night at the bar. It's been nine years and I'm really furious with him for being a dickhead and leaving me the way he did."

"Oh wow... yeah that's fucked up. He didn't even leave like a letter or anything?" she questioned.

"Nothing, Noey. He didn't have a phone so I couldn't call him and cuss him out then, and he never had social media so I was just left behind." I started to get misty eyed. "I went through some of my worst years after that because I fell into yet another depressive state and I just hated life."

"Don't cry babe." she reached over giving me a hug. "Maybe that is why you should talk to him. Let him know what he did to you by being inconsiderate."

"He doesn't even think he up and left. He swears he told me when all he did was bring it up hypothetically." I fanned my eyes.

"Well I think you should sit down with him and talk about everything that happened. You at least owe yourself that much. Get all of these emotions out. Take them off of yourself and lay them on the person responsible."

"But I don't want him to feel bad for chasing his happiness. He wasn't happy where he was. He needed to leave."

"I get that but he didn't have to hurt you in the process. No matter if it was beneficial to him, he needed to be considerate about the other people he affected. I mean come on, he shared something special with you then dipped out."

I nodded in understanding, wiping the fallen tears from my face as she rubbed my knee in comfort. Like clockwork, Eliana emerged from her bedroom with a wide grin on her face. It slowly faltered when she looked at me causing me to chuckle.

"Bitch what happened? You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Noey and I were just talking. You're ready to go?"

"Yes ma'am! We gotta celebrate the day a bad bitch was placed on this Earth to take over!"

"I think she's more excited about your birthday than you." Noelle laughed.

"It's always been this way." I shook my head as we exited our suite.

"Only because she doesn't even seem to care that much. She'll lay down in her bed, watch movies and be perfectly fine. And that's a big no. We have to celebrate! I like to celebrate everything. I'm a celebratory person, I can't help it." Eliana shrugged. "Oh, and Giovanni sends his best birthday wishes."

At that comment, I placed my shades over my eyes continuing the walk toward the nearby dock. It wasn't that close but it wasn't far enough to call a cab for a ride. Plus the walk offered a scenic view; beautiful, well kept flowers edging the trails, various breeds of birds carelessly roaming, and of course the view of the never ending ocean.

After five minutes, we were approaching the dock where I signed in and let the staff know that I was present. We were led to our yacht for the day where three men stood awaiting our arrival. I introduced myself to all of them before taking a tour of the yacht to see what all it had to offer. I was impressed to say the least.

"Wow this is niceeee." I came up from the lower deck. "There's four bedrooms down there."

"Really?" Eliana smiled. "You have it going on for your birthday this year. I love it."

One of the men approached us. "We have laid breakfast out for you ladies and we will be making lunch for you in a few hours."

"Okay thank you."

"You're also welcome to play music." he showed us the aux cord. "If you need anything, I'll be here out front."

"Y'all get the music going. I'll be right back." said I, going back down to the lower level into one of the bedrooms.

I closed the door behind myself then took a seat on the bed to start a Facetime call. It rung out a few times until I was greeted by the face of one of the sweetest men I'd come across. He sported a caramel complexion, a thick, well kept beard, and a temp fade. In the words of social media, look wise, he was the epitome of a fuck boy. However, his actions proved otherwise.

It had been a year since he and I met and he had yet to give me 'ain't shit' vibes. He wasn't perfect of course, but he was still very genuine which was why I was in the process of giving him a chance to be with me. I had been keeping it on the down low for the past month and a half just in case it didn't work out, but I really like him.

He sat the phone up on his bathroom counter showing me that he was in the midst of getting ready for a night out. We were in a twelve hour time difference so while it was daylight here, it was night time in the States.

"Oh I'm getting no makeup looks today?" he smirked, his soft Kenyan accent making me smile.

"You've seen me without makeup plenty of times, Asani."

"I know, but it amazes me how beautiful you are every time." he attached his watch to his wrist while walking away.

"Aw thank you! I also want to thank you for this trip. It's really beautiful here. I can't wait to explore the island as much as I can."

He returned to the screen. "You're very much welcome, my love. You needed to get a little time off and away. I just hope I can get to see you before you start working again."

"I can make that happen for you. You going somewhere special?"

"Nah, the guys and I are just going to hang out for a bit. Probably go to a bar or to a club knowing them."

"Make sure you have fun. You never go anywhere."

"You should be the last one talking, miss homebody. But I'll definitely make sure to have fun though. Just because you said so."

"And I'll have fun too. But I don't want to keep my girls waiting too long. I was simply calling to say thank you again. I'll call you later though."

"Okay. Make sure to take lots of pictures for me."

"I got you."

"Happy birthday, beautiful. Have fun."

Once I was off the phone, I returned to the top deck to throwback tracks blasting from the speakers. Eliana and Noelle sat at the table eating the various fruits spread across it while engaged in their phones. When I sat down however, they put their phones down giving me a knowing look. I acted oblivious grabbing a piece of pineapple to eat.

I could feel their eyes boring holes into the side of my face, but I acted as if the fruit were of much interest. To know that they were watching me made me want to laugh. But I had an act to maintain, so I continued to chew avoiding their eyes.

"Mhm." Eli pointed her finger at me. "You think you so slick."

"What?"

"You were on the phone with someone. A someone you not telling us about. Why?" she squinted.

"I'm clueless as to what you're talking about, Eli."

Noelle burst out into laughter. "She thinks we're stupid. It's okay sweetie, you don't have to tell us."

"I just don't want to jinx it y'all." I admitted with a sigh. "We aren't official or anything but we're trying this whole dating thing out."

"Finally! I'm glad you're trying to date. This will bring out a side of you I've never seen. I honestly couldn't tell if you were even attracted to humans." said Eliana.

"Shut up." I laughed. "I'm just picky about who I share my energy with. Plus with work, dating was not on my mind at all."

"Hella picky because from what I know you never dated anyone. The most you give is a few phone calls or text messages. You never let them pursue more."

"And you're correct." I shrugged. "I'm not ashamed either."

"Is there any reason behind that? Like some sort of fear or something?" asked Noelle.

"Um...to be honest? Yeah. I fear giving my love and energy to the wrong person. I never want to be the girl crying, slashing tires, checking phones, confronting other women. It's not me and I don't want that to be brought out of me."

"I heard that but I mean you have to try – which you're doing now. And if it doesn't work out, don't give up. Keep going because everyone is different." Noelle advised.

"I agree. I mean you seen all of the stages I went thru with love. Shit was crazy and rough. But being in love is everything and more. To have someone at your side for emotional support and care for you just as much as you care for them... it's amazing."

"Wow, I want to be in love again." Noelle rolled her eyes.

I smiled. "I love, love don't get me wrong but I'm just scared you know? Hopefully this guy can really be that for me. I don't know."

"Do we know him? Like has he been around?" Eli asked.

"Yeah y'all have met him more than once. He's a really good person which is why I'm giving him this chance."

"Oh my God, it's Asani isn't it!?"

"No. I can't see them together." Eli shook her head.

"Yes, it is Asani." I confirmed.

"I knew it! He was always checking for you but you always acted like you couldn't see it. I'm glad you're giving him a chance because he really wanted to pursue you." Noelle smiled.

"How do you know that?"

"He's talked to me a few times. He didn't want to overstep but I always told him to at least try. I guess he finally did."

"I wanna see how this goes. I would've never guessed you and Asani so this'll be interesting." commented Eliana.

«»

and there I laid on the back of the boat listening to it softly push thru the water. I was a bit tipsy. I wasn't much of a drinker because I always seemed to lose control, but today I was able to limit myself. The girls? Not so much. They were up, carelessly dancing, having the time of their lives.

While they did that, I found myself on Instagram searching for Giovanni Hoffman's page. It wasn't hard to find and when I did, I discovered that the page was fairly new. He was only following fifty people — me included — with only one photo.

He sat on a couch in a pair of jeans and a white tee. It looked much like the day he'd caught me walking out of a sandwich shop last week. The day of, I hadn't paid much attention to it due to my inner anger masking his looks, but he looked damn good. I knew for a fact that I wasn't the only one who felt that way so I checked his comments to see what was said.

"Kori come dance with us!" Eliana shouted from behind me.

"I'm okay."

As expected, a woman had commented underneath the photo claiming him as her man. He responded with a red heart. I clicked on her page to be nosey and see what she looked like but her account was private. I groaned and locked my phone, but not before following him back.

Thanks to Noelle's suggestion, I had plans of finding a way of meeting up with Giovanni to sit and talk with him. I didn't want to keep walking around upset with him. I'd rather he know how he hurt me and choose what he wanted to do about it. I wasn't sure if I was open to us rekindling anything, but I knew that I wanted to be able to forgive him. He was my best friend at one point, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss our friendship.

After he left, my life went down hill emotionally. I cut myself off from nearly everyone around me including my family and Eliana. All I wanted to do was lay around my room and sulk in my sadness. I cried a lot and I became quite rude to those around me. Every negative thing I felt, I unleashed it upon them times ten and they hated me for it for a while. It was the reason why my oldest brother and I weren't really speaking to this day.

Eliana and I rekindled after some time when I realized that I needed at least one person in my corner. She was always checking up on me, so I just stopped pushing her away and pulled her closer for my own sanity. Still to this day, she didn't know why I fell into another depression. I'm sure she knew Giovanni had a part in it but she didn't know what all happened between us or how deep my love ran for him.

"Get up and come danceeee." Eliana grabbed my hand to pull me up from my spot. "This is our song."

She was playing Voltio's Chulin Culin Chunfly. Neither of us were of Spanish descent but I loved their culture and was obsessed with it during my middle school years. It was how I became so fluent in their language and learned their music. I passed all of my knowledge onto her and ever since then the two of us shared our love for the culture together.

"You remember how much trouble we used to get in for listening to this song around Ms. Janet." I referred to her old neighbor who was a spanish woman.

"Duh! She used to cuss us out about being grown. But we were trying to dance for her nephews with they fine asses."

I held onto her hand and began to dance. "They were fine. I wonder what they look like now."

"Probably even finer." she used my hand to spin me around.

I bent down with my hands on my knees grinding my ass against her. She smacked it. I rose back up and swiftly swapped places with her allowing her to dance against me. Not long after, we switched again, face to face, and continued to dance.

"Y'all know I like women too. Don't be dancing like that around me." Noelle downed her drink.

"Come on, I'll give you some of this too." Eli held her hand out.

"I'm not the one to play with. And I'm drunk...I'll have you reconsidering your preference."

"Oop." I pursed my lips in amusement.