the depth of our knowledge and find a way to protect our brothers and sisters. Sandy Hook should have been the anchor for change but unfortunately it wasn't, therefore, it is up to us. We must save ourselves and our people. A gun is powerless without a finger on the trigger and it seems as though we're the only ones who see that. The gun laws in this county shall change! Our babies deserve to feel safe at the grocery store, at school for Godsake! We have to make this change."

I ended the video and closed my eyes to take several deep breaths. If I didn't I would for sure initiated yet another panic attack. Last night there was a mass shooting in West Virginia ending the lives of thirty innocent people — nineteen of them being children. Per usual, the shooter was white and supposedly mentally ill and I was completely over it. I'd had enough of these shootings taking place and the evil behind them being deemed emotionally distraught or some other bullshit.

It was time that our country decided to speak for our children and for ourselves. A change could not be made if we all sat back in silence filled with tears. We needed to channel that sorrow and despair and demand a better environment. Demand protection and preservation. It was the least we deserved as people.

"Baby calm down." Giovanni placed his hands on my shoulders. I tossed my head back, blowing out air.

"This is just a bunch of bullshit. Every time Black Lives Matter is promoted they want to say no all lives matter but they don't fucking act like it! They're degrading and tormenting Mexicans, they're senselessly killing us and they're blatantly allowing babies to have their fucking heads blown off. Babies, Gio!"

"I know, I know. I just want you to breathe before you have another panic attack."

"This and black hate really makes me second guess having kids. As bad as I want them, I would feel so selfish bringing them into this world of evil. No one deserves to live like this."

"Kor—"

"I need a minute." I walked into my bathroom and closed and locked the door.

Immediately I broke down in tears. It was a cry deep from the pits of my stomach, releasing all of the pain I felt from the deaths. I knew for a fact that Giovanni heard me because I couldn't control the sob. It weighed too much to silence.

After a few more seconds, I felt the urge to throw up. I rushed to the toilet, raised the lid and regurgitated the smoothie I had for breakfast. It lasted for a couple minutes until there was absolutely nothing left to bring up.

Now, I sat on the floor with a sore stomach and a face soaked in tears. The silence must've alerted Giovanni because he began to knock on the door while calling my name. There was no energy left in my body, therefore, I merely laid against the cool tile with closed eyes. My chest slowly rose and fell in attempt to keep myself calm until my emotional crash bypassed.

"Korin please say something." Giovanni's voice trembled from the other side of the door.

"I'm here...."

"I'm so sorry that this happened but please don't put all of this on your back."

"If I don't then who will? Someone has to be the voice of the people. For the babies who are oblivious to what is even happening before them."

"I get it. I do because this shit hurt me too but it has to be an effort amongst everyone. I'm not saying don't stand up and shout...just don't try and do it alone because I'll be damned if this kills you."

"I hear you."

"Can you come and open the door please?" I slowly got up and opened the door as he asked. He snatched me into his arms, giving me one of his infamous blanketed hugs. Instantly, I was able to really breathe again and ease the pain brewing in my chest.

"Thank you. I need this." I sighed and held him tightly.

We stood over the threshold of the bathroom, wrapped in one another's arms for a couple minutes and I appreciated every moment of it. Not only did it give me the comfort I needed, it also gave me another chance to savor the sensation of being in his arms. One thing life had been showing me was that lives were being taken at the blink of an eye. You never knew who was next, therefore, hold everyone a little bit tighter than before, kiss a little longer and say I love you more often. It all counted.

He finally pulled back and a small pout shadowed his face. I frowned. "What?"

He gently pushed me into the bathroom and turned me toward the mirror. I screamed which made him softly laugh. I leaned closer to the mirror and touched my swollen eyes. They were allergy season and bee sting puffy.

"Gio my eyes are nearly shut. I look like Martin in that one episode. Oh my God."

"It's not that bad." he tucked his lips.

"You're lying. I'm not going anywhere today. Nope."

"It'll go down over time. You were just crying so give it a little time and you'll be back to normal. Cries like that usually need a nap afterward."

"No, it's ten in the morning. I'm not going back to sleep. I'm just not going anywhere." the sound of my phone ringing played from my bedroom. I trailed over to it and it was Noelle. "Hey Noey, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too. That's actually why I'm calling. I was wondering if we could have a girls day or something so that I can get out of this house."

I nodded. "Yeah, yeah of course. You want me to come over there or you'll come over here?"

"I'm already at your place." she chuckled. "I was just calling to be sure you had nothing to do or didn't have company."

"I mean Gio is here but he can leave so we can do our thing."

"Oh word?" he asked from his place on the bed. I fanned my hand at him.

"Thank you. I really need this."

"It's nothing. I'm going to start getting ready." I tossed my phone down on the bed only to see Giovanni shaking his head at me. I arched my eyebrow. "What's funny?"

"Thought you weren't going anywhere because of your eyes? Noelle calls and you changed your mind quick."

"I can wear shades. She needs me and I wouldn't dare tell her no like puffy eyes are fatal or something. But since I'm leaving, you have to bounce honeybun." I waltzed into the bathroom to brush my teeth again.

"Honeybun? That's your new name for me now? Okay, Star Crunch." he winked.

"Excuse me?" I jerked my head back.

"What? I thought we were naming hood snacks. How about Hot Sausage? My cosmo brownie? Nah my lil donut stick."

I laughed. "Yo, get out of my crib. You're mad disrespectful."

He started to laugh his obnoxious laugh, causing me to shake my head and began brushing my teeth. As I did so, I attempted to think of an outfit to wear. I had no idea what we were going to do all day but Noelle liked to get fancy just because. I was always down for it and today was no different especially since I had to rock a pair of shades to hide my eyes.

"I think you're more like a Mike and Ike if we're being real. The green one though so it's all good." he continued from the room.

"Giovanni please shut up. Baby and Babygirl are the only names you can call me because you play way too much."

"You're no fun."

"You still haven't decided on what you want to do for your birthday?" I rinsed my mouth the wiped it clean.

"Nah, I've been thinking about a trip to Turks and Caicos though. Get a lil sun before the snow start to fall."

"You're not worried about it being hurricane season? Isn't this the time where they get the most rain?"

"From what I've looked at late October is when they start to open everything back up so the whether gotta be alright."

I nodded. "And when were you thinking about going?"

"Maybe the day before if you're free to."

"I'll have to see. I open myself back up for work tomorrow so I'll let you know."

He nodded and I walked into my walk-in. "I think Noelle at the door."

"Can you let her in? And put on a shirt please."

I started to rummage thru my hangers in search for something that I had yet to wear. I spotted a pair of bell bottom jeans so I pulled them down and laid them across the ottoman. An orange, long sleeve high neck top caught my attention next and I matched it with the jeans. But I wasn't settling for that one until I'd exhausted my options which meant two more choices.

"Where is she?" I could hear Noelle's voice.

"I'm in the walk-in." I responded. "Do you have set plans or are we just going with the flow today? I need to know the limits of what I can wear."

She appeared in the doorway garbed in a red and navy blue pin stripped jumpsuit. Immediately, I noticed that she'd cut her hair shoulder length. That alerted me that she was either really going thru it or she'd merely had an impulsive day. Either way, I loved it.

"Wow, you look good with this hair cut." I complimented. "Now you're tempting me."

"Thank you and no I'm not. You always want to cut your hair yet you never do it."

"Okay, but you didn't have to call me out like that."

"Whatever." she smiled. "You had a rough morning? I know the face of a thousand tears."

"The mass shooting was still on my mind when I woke up. I'm really over it all." I turned back to my racks of clothes.

"Yeah...it hit me hard last night. I was at the studio working with an artist when I found out. It was so sad because one of the victims was the engineer's godson. He completely lost it."

I sighed and shook my head. "Poor soul. All this needs to stop but how has it been for you work wise. That was the first of me hearing that you were working again."

"You know I write best when I'm down and out. I don't know why but I get more in touch with my feelings when I'm hella sad so I was writing nonstop. I'm actually in the process of finishing up a song with Kiana Lede."

"Stop lying! Has she recorded it yet?"

She laughed. "No, she's recording tonight after we put the finishing touches on it. I only told you because I know how much you love her. Come with me."

"I'm definitely coming. I have to hear her in person. Wow. But you never answered my question, we're going with the flow or you have plans?"

"Going with the flow. Of course we're getting breakfast first but after that I don't know. Whatever we feel like doing."

"That's cool with me. This outfit or this dress? I'm leaning more toward this outfit because these pants are cute."

"Yeah, and the orange is perfect for fall. Question is though, what shoes are going to wear?"

I scoffed. "Noey please act like you know me. The bell bottoms have to have the pointed toe boots. And just because you wanted to question my talent, we're going with white accessories instead of black."

"Ooohh." she held her hands up. "That'll show me."

"Fuck you, bitch."

Giovanni stuck half of his body into the closet catching both of our attention. "I'm about to head out."

"I won't see you again today will I?" I walked over to him.

"Depends on when you'll call it a night. My day ends around ten tonight. If you're still up, I'll come over."

"No, it's okay. You shouldn't have to drive over this way that time of night. I'll just see you some time tomorrow."

"Aight." he gave me a few kisses. "I'll call and check on you later. Be easy, Noelle."

"You too." she called back to him. When I turned around she was giving me a weird smirk. I ignored it and grabbed my clothes to put them on. "Aht aht lil girl. You weren't going to tell me? When did this happen?"

"A few days after the funeral."

"And why didn't you tell me." she shook my leg. "See I knew you two would have something but I didn't think so soon."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make what you were going thru about me. Plus it's not that serious."

"Uh lies! Your ass is standing here blushing. At least you're happy about it. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." I finished getting dressed.

She allowed me to do a quick and simple makeup look and jazz my hair up. Since I was wearing a high neck top, it wasn't much I could do to my hair outside of an up do, therefore, I pulled it up into a high ponytail. For effects, I let two tendrils hang in the front.

We found a restaurant close by to have breakfast and chose outdoor seats. My eyes scanned over the menu in search for something that sounded appetizing, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of Noelle. I was truly worried about her and wanted to question the drama between her and Eliana without stepping on her toes about it. However, it seemed hard to do when neither wanted to speak on it. But it had been long enough. I needed answers as to what was going on with them.

"Go ahead and ask Korin. I can feel you looking at me and I know you have questions."

"I do." I sat the menu down. "I just want to know what is going on with you and Eliana. It's been three weeks!"

She sat her menu down and looked at me. "Your friend is very indecisive and I don't think she's comfortable with her true self."

"Elaborate please."

"Okay, this may seem like a bomb being dropped on you but she's bisexual. Or at least she's attracted to me—"

"That I knew." I clarified.

"Yeah well, her and I have had our little situations together. I kept it under wraps because that's what she wanted and you know how long I've liked Eliana. And she made sure to tell me every time to keep it away from you. I assumed it was until something was truly established, but a little before I went to Milan for your show she grew distant. I didn't know why but in Orlando I found out it was because she had started talking to some guy named Pete. It hurt my feelings because I'd expressed my feelings to her about how I really liked her and wanted us to be a real thing. Obviously she didn't want that but didn't have the balls to tell me that.

"We argued that night and she took upon herself to say that I was mad that — she said some reckless shit that hurt my feelings okay.

But after everything calmed down, I tried to see whether it was just a heat of the moment thing, but nope she still stood on what she said. She claimed that I was delusional about what we were, I was being obsessive and clingy for no reason, and that she was far from gay. I think she was really mad because Gio said something to her about, but at this point, I'm not dealing with it. She wants to hide from herself then she can do that but I refuse."

"Oh my goodness. So you guys were sleeping together, she started talking to Pete and then pulled away from you. Y'all argued after Gio found y'all out and she called you obsessive and delusional."

She nodded. "Yup. Pretty much."

I put my hand to my lips in attempt to process everything. To be honest, I thought their falling out had something to do with Noelle and her feelings, but I didn't expect this. Noelle could be a bit aggressive when she saw something she wanted but I'd never seen her go to the extreme, so for Eliana to call her delusional and obsessive had me baffled. If anything, I knew Eliana for being on the extreme end of the spectrum when it came to her feelings for someone. But with what Noelle was telling me, Eliana had been rejecting her while still feeding into her feelings. It was definitely a game being played and I didn't know what to make of it.

The waitress approached us, "Are you ladies ready to order?"

"Um yes. Can I get the Maple Almond Granola." ordered Noey.

"And I would like the Croissant French Toast." she then took the menus from us and walked away. I took a sip of my mimosa before giving Noey my response. "Maybe y'all should try and talk everything out again."

"There is nothing to talk about. If you would have heard the shit she said to me you would understand. I even tried to hear her out in case she didn't really mean it but she repeated it." her voice cracked. "I'm not dealing with her. She and I aren't friends anymore and I won't step nowhere near her."

I sighed. "Okay. I just wish it wasn't like this."

"I do too but I just can't Korin. Maybe if she gave me a genuine apology I would think about it but right now it's a no. She hurt me and doesn't care. I'm protecting myself."

"Yeah, I get it and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know y'all were good friends before all of this."

"And that's what hurt me the most. Not only did I lose what I thought we could be, I lost one of my best friends. It's just all fucked up but it is what it is." she shrugged.

"." my physical trainer glanced down at his stop watch as I jogged on the treadmill.

Every week we'd been slowly amping the intensity of my workout to try and get me stronger than before. My goal was to return to the game an all around better player in strength, speed and endurance. It wasn't going to happen if I continued to coddle my injury with basic workouts and massages. Though the latter eased the pain of my recovery, it was time I returned to the true nature of training with a few weights.

We had been going at it for thirty minutes and I was sweating by the loads. I could feel the opening of all of my pores and it was refreshing. It felt more than amazing to be back in action working out after three long months. This was the moment of recovery that I was so anxious to reach. To push my body to its limits and challenge my mental strength and determination.

"And time." he called causing me to grab the arms of the treadmill and step off the track. I pressed stop on the machine while panting. "Quick water break then we're doing drill one."

"With how much weight?" I picked up my water bottle.

"Since it's week two of your third phase, we're gonna start with ten. I know that's light for you but we need to be careful and not take a head dive into this and risk further injury."