"I fought for you

The hardest, it made me the strongest

So tell me your secrets

I just can't stand to see you leaving."

I was in my room at my parents house and Beyoncé's Heaven played in the background as I sat on the floor looking at my ultrasound pictures. I shook my head as the tears cascaded down my face. Why me lord? Why did you do this to me? Why did you take my baby away from me? Can't believe I suffered a miscarriage. My baby didn't make it. Jabari and I lost our bundle of joy. I did everything right and yet my baby didn't make it. I was gonna surprise everybody with cute little boxes because I'm for sure the last one they expected to get pregnant. I guess it just wasn't my time to have a child.

"But Heaven couldn't wait for you

No, Heaven couldn't wait for you

Heaven couldn't wait for you

No, Heaven couldn't wait for you

So go on, go home."

I clutched the pictures in my hand as the chorus came through. I let out the loudest sob because why?

"Babygirl." I heard behind me and I knew it was nobody but Jabari. I heard the door closed then I felt him come behind me. He took the pictures from my grasp and turned me—pulling me into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me squeezing me tight.

"I love you so much baby." He whispered into my ear and kissed the top of my head.

I clutched his shirt in my hands and just cried into his chest. It hurts soo bad. It's been almost a year and I'm still not over it. I was pregnant with my very first child and I wasn't able to bring he or she into this world, into a wonderful family to some amazing parents. Lord help me please. Lord help me get through this, I'm begging you.

Jabari pushed me up and pulled my shirt off before picking me up while standing. I don't know what the fuck him and Cam be doing but they're strong as hell.

I wrapped my legs around his torso as we walked to my bed. He pulled the cover back and climb in—with me still on his chest. We laid down and I shifted to get comfortable before laying my head on his chest. I know the miscarriage affected us both but I appreciate him so much for helping me, for helping us through this. I let out a yawn and started rubbing his ears knowing I was about to go to sleep. That crying drained all my energy.

"I love you Mir." I kissed his chest and snuggled into him.

"I love you more Lolo."

He tightened his arms around me and we were off to sleep.

As a parent it's a natural instinct wanting to protect your children from everything without knowing it's impossible. It's impossible to protect your kids from everything because we can't control the things they do or the people they endure. We can only teach and prepare them to protect themselves. It broke my husband's heart to hear that Za'Keria has been being abused. It broke his heart because as a father he was created to protect our daughters from men like that. Sadly after your kids leave the nest, it's hard to protect them. You can only do so much.

It broke my heart as well, because before Sorayá bad ass Keria was considered the baby, our baby. The last of the bunch and for me to hear that she's been abused brought back memories of the time when Jaylen broke into Bri's house. I could've lost her then and I could've lost her now.

Dakari may have been a little harsh but his points were valid. I honestly don't understand why she ain't call us? Can't help but to question did she fight back? I hope she did cause she's highly capable and she ain't trained for nothing. My baby is little compared to Kayden, but I really hope and prayed she fought back. I hope she just didn't sit there and take it. My poor baby, lord. She's more of a lover than a fighter and sometimes that scares me.

"Ouch mama! You just poked me with the needle." Alaya yelled and I winced once I saw the blood, making the oops face and looked up at her.

"Shit! I'm sorry muffin. Step out of the dress. We're done for the day anyway. Once I finish the last alterations she should be ready." I unzipped the dress and held it as she stepped out of it. I'm very honored she chose me to designed and construct her dress. My baby is getting married. I wish her twin would have made it. I just know they would be unstoppable.

I watched in admiration as she stared at the dress. My big baby has been through a lot and I couldn't be more than proud. She deserves everything that she's receiving. It's crazy because all Dakari and I did was be parents. We listened when they talked. Helped when they asked for help. We let them learn on their own and picked them up when they fell. We comforted them and loved them. We didn't let our richness or fame get in the way. Our kids came first and careers were after and I think that's why they turned out so great because we were there. Something most parents can't say because they often let the fame corrupt them not even realizing their kids be crying out for help. Dakari and I both promised ourselves that we wouldn't be a repeat of our parents.

I grabbed the custom garment bag and slipped the dress inside before hiding it amongst all my other work. We had to hide the dress because everybody including Cameron has been snooping around since I started on the dress. Bri wants it to be a surprise, so a surprise it will be.

"Come on muffin, the crawfish should be ready by now." I called out as I put everything up and turned the light off.

"Oooo! DAKARI SINCERE POUR ME UP A CUP!" She ran out the room and I laughed shaking my head because she knew he was gonna get her for calling him by his name. I shut and locked my door before jogging down the steps.

The kitchen was empty, so I knew everybody was outside. I opened the back door and stepped out seeing everybody. The guys were throwing the football while Keria and Kai were doing a tiktok. The two alcoholics, Nova and Bri was behind our outside bar mixing up a toxic concoction. I shook my head because them two were something else when it comes to the drinks. All my babies were on a palette eating them homemade popsicles Bri be making and I just smiled because this is what family is all about, being happy together.

🥺