Chapter 14

I woke to the smell of bacon. Now, when I say that, it doesn't mean I woke up and smelled bacon. No, for Albany Higgins, the smell of bacon is what actually wakes me up. And there is no better way to wake up than that.

Blinking, my vision became more clear as I woke, my eyes finding the wall and the window. Yawning, I moved my arms out in front of me, stretching. That was when I felt my tired eyes widen at realizing that I was stretching. Yes... stretching. Both of my arms. I wasn't handcuffed to the headboard....

Well holy shit! Maybe it was best if I didn't wake up this morning, the scent of bacon present or not. I didn't want to remember what was starting to come back into my head from last night and the reason I was no longer handcuffed. Maybe the worst night of my life. And possibly the most embarrassing from what happened after that....

I had been bound again to the headboard in handcuffs, my worst fear of no choice realized.

The pain, so overwhelming, so much, I was getting the chills just remembering, the need for drugs.

That extremely vivid and horrifying dream about Emily.

Then... oh good lord.

I closed my eyes again, groaning. What the hell was that last night? I... I actually cried. I don't cry and can't believe I really did and let it happen. And while Luke was holding me! My god. I was becoming too soft. Is it strange to say that I liked it in a way? That didn't mean I wasn't disgusted with myself about it though.

I couldn't keep ignoring the smell of delicious bacon with my thoughts of what occurred last night. Damn the mind and eat the bacon! Not to mention, the scent of the deliciousness seemed to cover up the slight pain that was still running over me, the burn still aching and telling me I needed some cocaine.

My nose leading me to the source, I slowly rolled over to my other side on the bed, my vision no longer on the wall. But now, I was looking at the man that was sitting in the same chair as he had for days before. His feet up and resting on the side of my bed, he looked comfortable for such a hard chair he was in.

Luke changed his clothes, I noticed. He was supporting a red tee-shirt and instead of the blue jeans that showed off his nice ass, he was wearing a comfortable looking pair of tan baggy shorts. It still didn't mean he didn't have a nice ass if I didn't see it. Looking up to his face, I saw that he looked somewhat refreshed - which was strange since he has been up at some point all the nights I have been here. I would have thought I would have worn him out even more by the time this morning came. I guess not; but it looked as if he was able to get some sleep - which didn't make sense because since I wasn't handcuffed, it meant he was watching me this whole time.

I managed to get a better look of him when my eyes focused on him. On the skin under his eyes, which was smooth. I saw he looked... really nice and cleaned up. He shaved away the small and prickly hairs that had begun growing along his cheeks and chin, his brows framing his pretty green eyes perfectly and the emotions within them. He smiled to me, his lips tilting up at seeing I was up, his eyes warm and kind yet still worried. I also noticed something different about him. His hair was darker, damp and combed back more. There were a few wet and straight locks hanging forward that helped frame his smooth face and strong jaw structure too.

"Good morning," he said, his hand moving down towards his lap. My eyes following his movement, I notice that I found the jackpot in his lap. And I didn't mean the jackpot that I hated for pleasuring Clare when I knew she was too evil to probably return the favor. No, something much better. In his lap rested a paper plate of a couple pieces of bacon. He grabbed one, raising it to his mouth and taking a bite with a crunch that made my stomach hurt. I was so hungry. I haven't been able to keep anything down in a while now and for the first time, bacon was what I was craving at the moment and not drugs.

I scowled. It looked too good.

The pain was still in me, still thriving even though it wasn't as bad as last night. But I ignored it, shoving that feeling aside. For the sake of the bacon. With the covers already off me since I have been sweating, I shifted my legs to the side more and pushed myself up by my arms, moving off the bed and standing before him.

I saw his eyebrows raise in surprise over the fact that I was actually standing up, for one. Another reason he was surprised by this was because I didn't bolt for the door. Instead, I walked towards him and the frozen state he was in. Until he started to speak. "Albany, what are you...." He trailed off at seeing what I did by the time I got to him. Bending over slightly, I grabbed the plate of his bacon as I watched him try to grab another piece. I don't think so buddy.

I turned around with the plate in my hand, walking back towards the bed. Sitting on the edge of my bed, my legs hanging over the side as I was sitting up and facing him, I held the plate with one hand and grabbed a greasy and tasty looking piece in the other, taking a bite.

Damn! This guy was amazing at cooking! It tasted so good!

"Uh... that was my bacon," he said and I looked up to him as I ate the bacon. His eyes were wide at my sudden action of stealing his plate of bacon. He didn't expect me to feel good enough to eat but he should have expected me to grab his food if I was hungry.

"You're damn right," I moaned as I ate a second piece. "Oh god, it's so good!"

I watched his shocked face transform, his open mouth lifting and smiling at what I said. "I see you're feeling better then. You sound like your usual self. And you are eating."

I nodded. "I feel better. But I can still feel the burning and pain. I still hurt. But hey, I'm not throwing this greasy goodness back up. That's a good sign."

He chuckled. "Yeah, it is. It means the worst is over. You're lucky. Usually, the more intense part of withdrawal will last two or three days. But you are still not through with this process just yet."

Though his words were along the lines of my condition, I didn't really care to discuss it. Because for once in this shitty process, my addiction wasn't dominating my thoughts. So I wanted to take advantage of that. "Did you take a shower?" I asked suddenly - and totally off topic. But as I watched him this whole time with wet looking hair, I wanted to know. I eyed his damp and combed hair, his clean clothes he didn't have on last night. I was curious as to how I was not secured in handcuffs and he still decided to leave me to clean himself up. I could have woke up and noticed he was gone; could have noticed I was close to freedom... Not to mention it looked as if he even slept! Once again, I don't see the handcuffs people!

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you look too good," I said and smirked. It was the truth. I just made it come out in a weird way.

I was kind of surprised to hear him chuckle loudly at that. Still, he caught me off guard. Expecting or at least hoping for a blush or no response; instead, he laughs. "Care to elaborate? I think I want to hear this."

I rolled my eyes as I took another bite of bacon. And I swear, once again, this dude was amazing for the fact that he can cook! As I chewed, I explained. "I am not handcuffed and I assume wasn't for the rest of the night. You don't look tired and you took a shower. Did Officer Luke decide to slack on the job? Because that seems to be the only explanation."

He slumped back into the chair more and looked as if he was getting more comfortable, a small smile forming on his lips. "I know you don't want to think or bring up what happened last night because you wish it didn't happen." Great, he remembered - but of course he would remember. Obviously, I was ashamed at myself for breaking down like that. He went on. "So I will, to save you your dignity, which wouldn't be lost anyway for just talking about it."

I groaned loudly, rubbing the hand that wasn't guarding the rest of the sacred bacon along the back of my neck. I was not at all looking forward to what he was determined to start. "I take my question back if this is what it will lead to," I said, hoping he would listen. But hell the fuck no, he wanted to 'talk' now. "This doesn't even have to do with what I asked!"

"Stop. I don't need the mask when I already see through it. You can't pretend as if last night didn't happen. You are human, Albany. You have feelings and shouldn't be ashamed of it."

I laughed harshly at his words, finishing off the rest of the bacon and setting the plate on the bedside table. I then proceeded to stretch out more on my side, propping my head up with my elbow against my pillow and glanced to him. I have feelings, sure. The one that was really strong was... the feeling of him pissing me off at the moment.

"You say you see through my mask? Say you can figure me out, that you understand because you see pass my 'mask.'" I paused, snickering before going on. "You crack me up, Luke. You can see who I am but you don't have the slightest clue as to who your wife is."

He sighed, blank face back as he was just observing me. He spoke a second later, not affected by my words or so it seemed. "Anyways, last night," He groaned, ignoring what I had just said before. "After you were sobbing your heart out, you fell asleep, still crying and I couldn't find the energy to get up. I was asleep before I knew it, not even knowing--"

Luke was onto something.... Whoa. Maybe I did have feelings. Because now, I felt the greatest form of happiness come over me. Which I just showed by interrupting his words at realizing what he said. "Wait," I chuckled, my smile growing into a large grin as I watched him. He groaned, knowing what I was getting at the second he saw me smile at his words. "You fell asleep with me?" I asked to clarify, loving this. Clare would be so pissed.

"Yeah, I did. And don't bother telling Clare in an effort to get her worked up over this. I already told her this morning that I stayed with you for the rest of the night and ended up falling asleep in your bed. I beat you to it," he smirked, proud as if he stopped me from hurting Clare. Yeah right. No matter if I tell her or him, she would be mad.

"And she was fine with that?" I asked, smirking back.

He narrowed his eyes, not happy I had asked that and destroyed his moment of joy. "No, she was pissed off," he admitted. "But that's not the point. I beat you to her so you wouldn't get the glory of seeing her mad - because I know you would have loved that. So I told her. Not to mention, we made a deal. Not much contact with Clare." I groaned, rolling my eyes again at him. He continued, a small smile on his face. "Anyway, after I fell asl--"

"We still slept together," I cut in, giving the final say quickly before I remained quiet, waiting for him to go on.

He tightened his lips together in a scowl. Glaring at the floor, he said, "Anyway, when I woke up, I found I got a lot of sleep in. I also saw I made a mistake and left you unbound while I was sleeping." Sighing, he let his lips loosen and his gaze rise and fall back on me. "But after last night, I don't think I would have done that to you again, seeing how much that hurt you. And I wasn't going to do it again after I was up and needed a shower."

I narrowed my eyes. Why would he do that? It was a big risk, like I said. I could have woke, left easily and he wouldn't have known until he got back. "Well, I guess you do have a set of balls on you," I concluded.

"I wasn't too worried. It wasn't that big of a risk. I am fast showering and knew you would be so tired that you wouldn't wake before I was back."

I raised an eyebrow. "Still a risk," I said and paused, pursing my lips. That couldn't be all. A risk was still a chance for me. And as I thought about it, I think that was the point. It was a risk. "And that's exactly what you wanted. You love control, just like I do. But... at the same time, you don't want it. There is more than one reason I came through this town to get to the next...." I said and stressed my words with my eyes, looking deeply into his pretty green ones. He leaned forward more in his chair, becoming quite interested in my words. He thought it over but it didn't take him too long to figure it out.

"You...." He took a deep breath, his eyebrows dipping. "It was more than the fact that it was a closer and easier route. You... wanted a risk. Because you thrive in control and wanted to feel something more than the same boring shit. You wanted to feel excitement and fear, to experience something that would make you realize that maybe your life is worth living."

I noticed I was smiling at him - not a usual smirk either. I knew exactly what else there was to it. I said back to him after he paused, "And that's why you like me and understand me. Because I bring something new, something you can't control and it forces you to result to extremes - extremes in which you always wondered about. You get pissed off, stressed over the chaos I brought into your life. And at the same time...."

He finished for me. "At the same time, it's exactly what I need." He looked at me in a daze, staring at me as I was him for the same reason. We both knew that we each were the same in wanting control. Yet... it went farther than that, it seemed. We wanted and craved control... but we didn't like our lives run by it. It makes us feel secure. But sometimes, feeling secure was just boring. That's why he was enjoying this time with me. It was different. It was a risk. The next second, after a moment of just staring at each other in astonishment, he voiced what I just came to realize. "We are so much alike."

I knew it was true. But it didn't mean that we were the same. I proved so with my next comment. "I don't know about that," I sighed, rolling onto my back and breaking our gaze, looking up at the ceiling as we spoke. "I don't like having manners." I smirked.

He chuckled lightly under his breath. "You're right about that."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Breathing in the false breeze that the fans in my room were blowing on me. We were silent in the next minute and in that minute, the breeze on me, I noticed it wasn't helping much with the sweat that was still forming on my body. Last night was the worst of the withdrawal and we knew it. Today, I didn't feel nearly as bad as I had before. But that didn't mean I was over the need for drugs. No, it was still very much in me. The strength of that mental and physical pull for it just died a little. I wasn't craving to run away and to go after it, to escape. Did I want it? Oh yes, I did. But it wasn't controlling me; the burning sensation in me seemed to calm. I wouldn't get total relief for a while. But I could at least try to get some.

"Hey, copper?" I asked, opening my eyes and tilting my head to the side, looking to Luke.

He snorted. "Yeah?"

"I want to take a shower. I still feel like shit so maybe that will help."

He sighed, sitting up more in his chair. "Alright. Just a side note though: I am more awake now so if you try to escape, I will just be able to stop you that much faster."

I rolled my eyes. Though it was tempting, I wouldn't. "Yeah, I know."

He nodded then before he rested his hands of his kneecaps, pushing himself to his feet. He was standing up and from where I was laying. Now, I was forced to crane my neck to look up at him. He still looked tired. Just not as much. Also, he still looked just as attractive. Just saying.

I got to my feet next and stood next to him, the sweat on me seeming to slide down at a quicker rate. I felt so gross. My hair a mess in it's bun, my smelly clothes not even mine. He remembered that too when I spoke. "We'll go in my room and find some more of Clare's clothes for you."

"Oh boy, I'm so excited to wear more of her clothes!"

I followed him as we walked towards my closed door. Opening it, he let me walk out first in front of him and he followed behind me. Entering their room in the few feet it took since their door was right next to mine, my eyes were in instant action, taking in the room. I hadn't seen it since I was last here a year ago. Usually, Luke just gave me some of Clare's clothes but now, I was in here with him to get them myself.

After I got home and found out Clare got herself a new husband, I figured that her bedroom would be the most different out of all of the house. I was right.

Their walls were a light and faded blue, like it is downstairs in the living room. The furniture went well with it, a long and black dresser against the wall that they shared with me. A large mirror occupied the back of it and the wall it was against. It wasn't like a tall dresser like mine but a long one with three drawers on each side. Above the drawers, the flat surface supported a jewelry box that rested on the corner of the dresser as well as a few bottles of perfume. Lord knows she must smell terrible without it. I imagine disgusting monsters usually do.

Walking in, I took in the rest of the room silently. On the opposite wall across from her dresser was their queen sized bed that had a pretty comforter of light blue and black stripes that matched the walls and dresser. It wasn't pushed up against the adjacent wall like mine was and against the matching window they had. With it, they had a pretty metal headboard against the wall. I saw that there was a little space left between the bed and the adjacent wall with the window. A small bedside table sat in the space between with a clock and a framed picture of Luke and Clare, their heads close together with genuine smiles on their faces. Jesus. Cue the puking again.

I saw something familiar on the other side of the bed against the wall. I remembered the bathroom that was in her room as well as the large closet that was even farther back in the bathroom. The fact that there was a bathroom there was the only thing I recognized though. Even the small door to it was new, a dark brown instead of the ugly white it was before.

My bare feet against the light wooden floors, I walked slowly in more, taking it in. On the far wall with the window, there was another larger dresser with six drawers as well like the other, the same wood and all. Except this one was tall with the drawers one on top of the other. The smooth wood top was slightly messier that the other, a few papers over it as well as Luke's badge and other stuff irrelevant to me. It was clear that this was his dresser and the other one was Clare's. Awe. They had matching dressers.

Directly next to it was some kind of safe and though I was confused about it at first, I had a good guess about what was in it. Besides more important papers and money, I was somewhat positive that it held his guns. Dear god, I just prayed he wasn't dumb enough to have given Clare the key to it. She wouldn't shoot me with it. Hell, she really couldn't kill me; he would be able to figure out if it was his gun and bullets that shot me. I wasn't worried about her doing that. It was just the thought of Clare having access to a gun that chilled me.